Yeah, what I am addressing here is rain water. I have gutters that function correctly, but there is still a lot of water hitting my 2 story house that drips down the side and towards the ground below. In addition to that, the area under the deck that wraps around that entire side of the house is lower than the surrounding areas. Any water hitting my deck has the potential to drip towads the house and absorb into the area against the foundation. My first goal was to fix the grading immediately next to the house, and thus the question. I'm ultimately going to have to pull up a lot of the deck and level off the topsoil in that entire area. I hate to do it, because a lot of the screws are recessed at this point and there will be some damage to the deck I just spent a few hundred hours sanding down and refinishing last summer. I also have no sprinkler system or any kind of water leaks around the house. Our lot gets a lot of subsuface drainage from the adjouning areas, which is nothing I can really fix. What I am trying to do is minimize the amount of water coming into the drain tiles when it rains. Just wanted to clear those things up. As suggested, I'm going to try to get as much rock out as possible (its only a surface layer of maybe 3") and fill it with soil to the appropriate grade. After that, I'm going to cover it with a landscaping tarp going out about 10' from the house and directing water to the natural drainage paths per the suggestion of a village engineer. Thanks!

For reference my directions are as viewed from the street looking at your house. The first pic, that's neighbor on L? The scar on R of fence is where your shed used to be? R half of 2nd pic is neighbor straight back...L half pic your yard (aiming toward neighbor with shed)? The third pic I know what is but I cannot differentiate levels. Sorry. Looks like that lot high, too? The neighbor directly straight back (w/2 large trees) looks like he's been high forever as if subd. created that way. The neighbor on you L side looks like his fill might be much newer. His grass has a new-ish look. (would have liked to seen a pic aiming further left...I'm trying to see where the drain path goes.) Aside from the water, he's dumping on you, where's the rest of his water draining? To his front? And the guy next to him (past power pole) where's his water going (other than what he's putting on you)? If the bulk of their water is going to the front...which you might be able to tell from standing in front of their houses, I'd guess one or both of them has blocked your natural flow. Which says that going to a lawyer for a consultation to discover your rights and make a plan is the place to start. Someone pointed out, what will you do with major rain like hurricane Irene type rain...or the hundred year flood? Your original plan will put you in jeopardy if such were to happen. Actually, with your drainage blocked, you're probably already in jeopardy. just won't be able to see it until that monster rain happens. I'm not trying to be an alarmist, but I think it's important to know where you stand legally...especially, if you can get the cause of your problems to pay for the solution. I would try to find out every last fact about where that water is draining...how it's draining for these neighbors...get out their during the next heavy rain. Take pictures. Make yourself knowledgeable about exactly how all these pieces of the the puzzle fit together...before going to lawyer. You don't want to go with just a few words and a complaint...to which he says, "we'll need to study your issues. That'll be $500 for our next hours worth of work." Go as prepared as you can be.

I just want to caution you to tread carefully when interfering with teen love. Studies have been done on this topic, and it is NOT true that loves from your 20s are stronger or more important than young/teen loves. In fact, the opposite is true. Young, teen loves often form the strongest bonds of any love relationship in your life. Scientists believe that there is a hormonal "imprint" that these early loves have on one another's brains very similar to the "imprint" that babies and mothers experience. When these loves are disrupted because of parental interference/disapproval, it can have devastating lifelong effects on the couples' ability to form lasting and fulfilling love relationships in their adult years because they are haunted by unfinished business. Don't diss young love. It IS the real thing. I'm attaching a link to the website of Dr. Nancy Kalish, who has done a lot of research on young love, and the effects of reunions between teen lovers in adulthood. Although my children are both very young, I believe very strongly that you must allow your children enough freedom to form these attachments and see them through to their own natural course. Some WILL end up happily married right out of high school. Some will break up because they're not getting along. But the most important thing we can do as parents is talk to our children about the importance of love, what real love looks like, and make sure they are safe. Make sure your children know their values, are prepared and know what they need to and want to do when it comes to s*x, and encourage them to bring their girlfriends and boyfriends home so that you can keep an eye on the situation without making them feel like star-crossed lovers. I'm not looking forward to this period in my children's lives because it makes me nervous, but I do hope they find and know real romantic love. Good luck! Here is a link that might be useful: Dr. Nancy Kalish

Hi Vesters. So many things you wrote struck a chord with me as we experienced the same issues with my SD, who is now 14. We've had custody of her since she was 5, after gaining emergency and then full custody though a very nasty battle. After DH and his ex divorced SM moved SD hours away. SD began sleeping in her bed, showering with her, being completely dependent on her mom. BM thrived on this - it made her feel needed and important. SD couldn't (or wouldn't) do or try anything on her own. SD became BM's 'bff' and confidant - all at the mature age of 3. This continued until BM found a boyfriend, and then SD was kicked into her own bed in her own room on a different floor and told to go to sleep. Once that relationship ended SD was needed again and back in BM's bed, all the while hearing about BM's relationship woes. Fast forward a few years. We have custody, SD sees her mom EOW. She's still trying to have SD sleep with her (between boyfriends) and be dependent on her. The 'bff' behavior is worsening and we're hearing all about BM's love life from SD. SD is getting stomach aches right before visitations and worrying about how to take care of her mom. All so appropriate for a mother/daughter relationship. And then there was. . . "BM also used to say things to SD (right after I came on the scene) like, "I'd never let a man come between us" and "You're the only one I need" which sounds innocent enough, but it was very much meant as a "look at your father, moving on with his life, I'll never let that happen to us." I could have written that. BM is always saying this. . . in between the men in her life. But what SD figured out about 2 years ago is that her mom is full of sh@t. She started to see all these behaviors factored around her mom and what her mom needed on her mom's schedule. She was blinded by the 'my mom needs me' and 'my mom loves me best' until then, but with the help of her counselor and a little maturity she started to figure it out. I won't say she doesn't fall back into buying her mom's crud every now and again, but for the main part she can she the behavior for who it is really about - mom, not SD. I tell you all this so you know you are not alone, and also to give you hope. Your SD needs help, and she needs her dad to help her receive it, but she can recover from this. I will tell you one thing SD's counselor shared with us that was helpful for SD and for our tongues as we weren't biting them so hard. When you say "I'm always a little uncomfortable when she talks so openly about her BM with me (because I know the "real deal"), yet I'm always very careful to make sure I speak loving and positively about her ." you need to stop. This doesn't mean speak negatively, but you don't have to put a good spin on bad actions. Don't try to make mom's bad action ok. Don't make excuses for her. Listen to SD, let her know you understand why she would be upset, help her with generalized, non leading questions discover why she's upset, but don't then tell her it's all ok and mommy knows best. Later, when she figures out mommy doesn't, you will be seen as a liar. It's ok to say sometimes mommy's get confused, or mommy's make mistakes. This is likely better pronounced by DH at first, but you need to know that you don't have to be positive. Just don't be negative, if you get what I mean. :-) Good luck. Keep us updated, and keep your chin up. You are doing the right thing.