No, we don't. I wish we did. This is terrible to say and rather sad, but I if I saw some of my cousins or nephews on the street, we wouldn't know each other from Adam. Some of it has to do with a long-standing family rift that pre-dates me, but more than that people just fell out of touch over the years and didn't keep up the relationships. Some not-too-distant relatives have been invited by me and other family members to holidays or major birthday gatherings, but the invitations have either been declined or not responded to so we gave up. The interest in keeping up relationships just isn't there.

We don’t, either. My family is very small. My father had one sister, she had one son, and he has two children. Neither of them have children. They’re in England. My mother was an only child.

My parents had the ”brood” with four daughters. Between the four of us, we have eight children, none of them have children. I see them all regularly. My one and only cousin lives in England, and we visit every few years.

My husband comes from a large family, and they’re always having golf tournaments, weddings, funerals, anniversaries,…….They come from all over, and we manage to see most of them.

I have an annual Canada Day BBQ which covers both friends and family. My husband and I also run an annual golf tournament for retired co-workers. Always fun!

One side of my family lived so close together, a Fourth of July celebration looked like a family reunion with second cousins once removed!

The other side of the family scattered as each of my mom’s siblings graduated from high school, so I only spent time with the ones who lived within a few hours drive.

A couple of years ago, thoughought to, we floated the idea of a reunion, and held it last year. Mid-continent to make it easier for people on the coasts, we hoped. alas, it was only the families I already knew, but I hadn’t seen some in years so that was nice, and we worked on the family tree and photo identification.

This year we are planning another out west, hopefully for the west coasters, but so far they do not seem to be interested. But I might meet a couple of cousins I’ve never met, so looking forward to that.

It can be hard to get 30 people and/or their descendants together.

But thank goodness for texting, to keep in touch.

I should plan some family reunions for the first side of the family mentioned above, or my kids won’t have much family.

If you have reunions, how do you plan the family line? My one side always incorporated spouses’ families if amenable, which made for some big reunions! And some ”this is my cousin Amy well not my cousin really but….”

I am another one with no family left. I am an only child, both parents are deceased, most of their generation is gone too. I have a few cousins but we've never been close, can't recall the last time I saw most of them either.

My father's family held one every Labor Day weekend for years, but the tradition fell by the wayside as my generation had no real interest in it and most of my father's generation are dead.

My parents always hosted Christmas get-togethers for their siblings and their sibling's offspring. COVID put an end to that. Frankly, I was happy to see the tradition die. It was a lot of work, most of which fell on my shoulders. None of them ever volunteered to host the event or help. I still stay in contact with one or two of my cousins, but not any of the rest of them.

Not really. We were gone USAF so the side that did have them never included us. When dad retired we did go a couple of times. It wasn't a yearly event. Maybe every five years??? My dad's siblings tried to get together yearly and my dad thought that was too much!! He had two brothers and a sister. My siblings there are four said we should have a 'reunion' type gathering for my parents' 70th anniversary next summer. Who knows how many will show for that. My mom attended a gathering of her cousins two summers ago. My sister and I got her there. They had a great time trying to recall family history. I feel no draw to getting together with people I didn't grow up with or even around.

Nope. My cousin and I, whom I barely know, are all that's left of our family. I am an only child, and all of my parents' generation are long dead, so... I do have pictures of me at two years old at a family reunion at a state park, but that's it.

Our family on my mom's side had one back in 2015 and it was lovely. Once upon a time they all lived in the same neighborhood, and most still live in the same state. My mom was the one from her generation who moved farthest away, but we always visited my grandparents, aunts and uncles for several weeks every summer. My dad's family lived near us, growing up, so we saw them more often.

Sadly the only one of that older generation now alive is my aunt, My mom's youngest sister, who's in poor health and cannot travel. Lots of cousins still live there, but my sisters and I are spread out to the coasts, north, south and west. We stay in touch now mostly through Facebook, phone calls, Facetime and text messages.

Many, many good memories and photos, thank goodness.

Thanksgiving was always big on my father’s side. His sisters were closer than he was with them, and by a certain point that was pretty much the only time I’d see the family. It was also my favorite holiday. As years went on I started to feel closer to some of my cousins (I was considerably younger, which matters less as we age) and our parents’ generation started dropping off. After several years of asking ourselves why we only all get together on Thanksgiving, we decided to have a summer Cousins Weekend. It was a success and has now been an annual tradition for I’m guessing 8 years or so. And it’s been growing, next generations included, in more recent years some second cousins joining in. If I have the count right, this year we peaked at 32 with nine states represented. It’s fun. As I look around, in many ways we’re so entirely different, and honestly many of us would not likely have much interest in each other if we weren’t family. But maybe that’s part of what makes it special. We all have a strong sense of family, and as such love each other and have a great time together.

Every family is different, but if you’d like to see more of yours and your only reason for not getting together is because no one has taken initiative, maybe others are just waiting for someone else as well. I say go for it!

Whether it's neighbors, or people met along life's paths (like parents of our kids' friends), parents of teammates, co-workers OR relatives, or whomever, it's the same to me. I'm cordial and open to all but I don't feel an obligation to make an added effort to spend more time than the strings require with relatives or people there's some connection with but no personal affinity or chemistry.

I'm in contact with relatives I like spending time with, feel no burden to do so with others, and I'm okay with that. My immediate family is close, we're all in regular contact phone/video/in person and that fills my need for close familial relationships.

We did for many years on my Dad's side. His cousins. DH enjoyed them all but the family patriarch (my fathers first cousin) and his wife most of all. We met third Saturday in July every year. Someone would provide a protein of some kind to grill and the rest of us side dishes. I remember a box that stayed packed with hand wipes, paper plates, plastic tableware, a few knives and serving spoons. I was expected to bring the layered ribbon jello and a blackberry dessert, one of the other wives a very old recipe for raspberries (at their peak just then) that had raw beaten egg whites in it. (!!)

A divorce in that family, followed by a couple of deaths and retirement concluding with a couple moving out of state and its no longer a given about the last 4 years. I really miss it. If we traveled to Nevada I think we could just about reproduce it one year...

We do meet with cousins on my side (all the older folks gone now) but not every year. Last year we met on the Oregon coast from 4 states and stayed 4 days. It was lots of fun, lots of good food - we'd rented beach front houses on the same street.

Nothing is planned for this year. Maybe next year?

No. The family is small for a start. No one has had more than two children for four generations. Anyone older than my generation is dead. Of the living relations we see the ones we know and keep in touch with and ignore the ones we don't. No particular rifts. We just lead separate lives in different parts of the country. We have nothing in common other than being related.

My father's family only had them at funerals - here's the last one, which was in 1940:

and was for my father's paternal grandmother's funeral - all of her children are on the back row, and my father is on the next row down, third from the left. He was 17 at the time. One of his older brother is right below him.

I'm not sure that I ever met that some of these people, but I did meet everyone in the back row, except for my grandfather, who died before I was born. There was never another family reunion this large that I know of after this, but I did grow up close to the six first cousins that I had on my father's side. My mother was an only child.

My mother's family had large family reunions for both her father's and mother's families, and those were quite large, and those reunions were held separately, of course. My mother's father came from a family of 11 children (he was in the middle), and her mother came from a family of 13 children, and she was the youngest. Almost all of her aunts and uncles had 3-5 children, and my mother claimed to have 70 first cousins, but I never counted. I enjoyed meeting cousins at the reunions, but the ones my age were children of first cousins once removed (or third cousins), and so I was not as close to them as I was to the cousins on my father's side.

My father had two brothers that had three children each, and these brothers had married sisters, and so those cousins were double first cousins with each other and only single first cousins with me and were also considerably older, although they were similar ages to each other.

Last month I met some children from one of my first cousins in Denver, and it was a very good meeting for all of us. I had wanted to meet them for a long time and had been in contact with my first cousin Nancy a few years ago, but when I contacted my cousins in Denver, they told me that Nancy had died three years ago - no one had ever let me know about this.

I do feel closer now to my cousins in Denver - they own a string of delis-meat markets in Denver that Nancy and her husband had started. I hope to keep in closer contact with them.

" No particular rifts. We just lead separate lives in different parts of the country. We have nothing in common other than being related."

Wow. Ta Da!

This sure sums up how many people feel and also what many don't realize.

lars, that's got to be one of the most gruesome photos I've ever seen.

I can imagine what the photographer must have said.

"Okay, everyone ready? I'll count to 3 and on 3, everyone frown"

It was a funeral, they were likely acting somber. The girl on the bottom second from left looks like her head was photoshopped on.

“We have nothing in common other than being related.”

I enjoy interacting with people with whom I have nothing really in common. I come here to KT to do it near every day!

Our relatives are residing in different parts of the states, also in other countries so we do travels to visit sometimes, and that is usually my good excuse to hope on an airplane or get behind the wheels. The generation before me does phone calls and also corresponds via postal mails to stay in touch. Family drifts are not uncommon and that’s how life rolls and ours is not an exception in the older generation.

Oh gosh - imagine all those people grinning for their photo at a funeral 😄

When I saw that pic from Lars, it reminded me of the fact that smiling for photos is a relatively recent practice. It used to be that if someone went around smiling at everybody - especially at strangers, people would think there was something wrong with them mentally.

" I enjoy interacting with people with whom I have nothing really in common. "

I don't think that was the point. Many people, myself included, would find common ground with this comment.

I think the sentiment expressed was different, questioning those who feel an obligation to keep up contacts with people with whom there's no warmth or enjoyment in the relationship and little commonality of interests, only because there's a familial relationship. And indeed, it may be that such people aren't disliked but are simply not liked.

People should act in ways that are consistent with their own standards and preferences, not because of how others might react to what they do or don't do.

" Oh gosh - imagine all those people grinning for their photo at a funeral "

lars described the layout by mentioning that the decedent's children were on the top row. Judging from their appearances, the dear departed person lived to a ripe old age.

I think moods are different when someone dies in an accident or due to unfortunate health or other circumstances before having lived a full life. For me, when elderly people die, the festivities are as much a "celebration of life" as anything somber. In fact, gatherings to honor the memory of a recently deceased individual are often called that.

Aren't speeches at such events often humorous. Aren't eulogies often funny? The ones I've been to have been. And even given that this was taken some time ago, I find the long faces disturbing. Like a family reunion of the Addams Family.

I find the long faces appropriate for the funeral of a beloved family member, but quite a few of them do have vague smiles on their faces, although these may have been somewhat forced.

Not everyone finds funerals humorous, and I find humor inappropriate at such times, especially when taking a photo to commemorate such an event. My great grandmother was 77 when she died, and I'm sure no one was happy that she had passed. My great grandfather had died ten years earlier - he was Prussian, and his family was not known for its humor.

All of my uncles on the top row were serious (and very successful) businessmen and had German sensibilities, but my GGGM's family was Anglo and had owned large amounts of land in Rhode Island and Virginia.

Later family photos, from the 1950s onward, were less grim, but then they were not taken at furnerals. A lot of families only have reunions at funerals, or weddings, but funerals are more iimportant, I think.