Thanks again all: Boa is doing much better. She is eating like a horse, but still doesn't want to be left alone. I can't believe the difference in her since I stopped the antibiotics. She demands food now, and her catmilk. Her and Bear got into their first fisticuffs in a long time when I was taking too long to get the food in the dish. She got a huge dish of whipped cream yesterday (her favorite) and didn't leave a smidgen in the bowl for Apache to finish. She is back on the tapazole now for the hyperthyroidism and doesn't even know it's in her food. I am breathing a sigh of relief. I know nothing can live forever, but I can hope. Think she will be with us for a while longer. Praise God for answering my prayers. Jenny

I admit I love "asshat", probably because it's a favorite word for politicians on what is probably the only political blog I read (Margaret and Helen)... actually pretty much the only blog I ever read. They're hilarious IMO, although conservatives will not find them the least bit amusing. I do use "what's up?" on the phone, but I don't answer the phone with it. It's more like: [Other person calls.] "Hello. [Other person says hi.] What's up?" It's much more polite IMO than what curmudgeonly me tends to want to ask, which is "what the h*ll do YOU want?" or "why are you calling me?" :-) re: the occasional satisfaction of the F-bomb... a couple of weeks ago I had a bunch of trigger point injections in my neck. (Those aren't the ones where they sorta-sedate you and inject stuff into the spinal canal, those are the ones where they stick what feels like a crowbar into knots in the muscles.) It hurts. A LOT. What I wanted to say was "F*** F*** F*** F*** F***!!!!!!" but instead I amused the nurse by growling over and over again "lots and lots of swear words, lots and lots of swear words". auntjen, I always have to laugh when someone calls someone else a douchebag... he's a pink (or red) rubber balloon with a plastic pipe on the end? LOL One thing that does drive me bonkers is adults using the word "potty" when speaking to anyone over the age of about seven (and not using the Britishism that someone's a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic). It's not cute.

Hi again. Further responses have given us more to think about. There won't be any reception after the couple return. Because we both have such large families, they are basically eloping (but graciously gave immediate family the option to join them) because they cannot afford the expense such a large reception would entail. Phoning the absent friends and relatives would mean calling almost 400 people, so everyone thought a mailed announcement would be much less time consuming. However, I can understand how some people feel that any type of formal announcement would appear to be a gift solicitation. My future DIL truly is a very sentimental young lady who has saved every card she has ever received since she was about 10 years old. She honestly hoped she could receive cards commemerating her MARRIAGE to my son, even if they could not invite our huge families to their wedding. But it has been pointed out that this is tacky or might not be possible without appearing like there is some ulterior motive. Well, I'll pass everything on to them and let the cards fall where they may, I guess. Thanks for all your input!

This is such a complicated problem. There are going to be hurt feelings all over the place. I know that it hurts BM for her daughter to want to leave, but it's not like she didn't see it coming in plenty of time to mentally and emotionally prepare herself for it. You have stated that SD has said she has always wanted to move to your home for high school. BM should be preparing for this. My son's BD has been "conditioning" him to come live with him when he turns 12. In Texas (where we live), children can fill out an affidavit stating which parent they wish to live with, but it is ultimately up to the courts. Just because he "wants" to go live with dad doesn't mean the courts will think it's the best situation for him. Anyway, I have been steeling myself for this for a couple of years now and he's only 9. I still have 3 years before this is even possible. But I know that my DS wants to share time with his dad, whether I like it or not. BM needs to realize that she does not have a monopoly on SD's raising and sometimes she has to let go. Hard.....I know and it probably seems impossible. Just being candid, I know how hard it is to NOT "coach" your children into what to say to the other parent. So many times I've wanted to tell my DS what to say to BD because it might keep the peace or make me right about something. But I've always stopped myself because I don't want my son to ever have a reason to be mad at me. Sometimes DS will say "Dad lied about that" or "You don't have to cover, I know he lied". They know when their parents are lying and I think it's hillarious that a parent thinks she can tell a 15 y/o to lie. She's got to know that she's old enough and smart enough to see whats going on. As far as discussing these things with the children, I think that you have to guage each children's maturity level individually. My DS is 9 and FSD is 13. DS is WAY more mature emotionally than FSD, even with 4 years separating. FSD refuses to stay home alone for any reason and freaks out. DS is ready to stay home alone (which he does not do yet). We've been teaching him about safety and what to do in certain situations. FSD won't even hear about it. She begs to not be left at home alone even though she is of age. She is just not mature. My BF made the mistake of telling her that the puppy (who was only 8 weeks old) has round worms, which is normal for every puppy. She flipped out, told her mom the dog had RING worm (definitely not the same thing) and wouldn't touch the dog for 2 weeks. We even took her to the vet and had the vet tell her the facts about round worm (that it's hard for people to get and that almost every puppy has it). She still wouldn't touch the dog. We told DS and he asked 1 question: "Can I get it?" We told him the truth and he went on with everything as normal. Hugging and playing with the dog. So we know what we can discuss with FSD and what we can't and the same for DS. No matter how hard a family tries, the kids are always put in the middle of different ways of parenting. It's just so much more pronounced in divorced families. I wish you all the best at your meeting and that this will all work out smoothly! (Sorry for the long post)