Annegriet, you may need to be more specific in your question. Do you mean an over 55 housing community, or a condo type place with a continum of care from independent living to assisted living?

There are a few people over on HD side in 55+ communities who like the situation very much. If that is what you mean, you could post your query there.

I meant the condo type place with a continuum of care from independent to assisted to nursing care. I am helping a friend who is 86 look at one of these and I was just wondering. Everyone here is always so insightful.

I don't but had my MIL in one and it was perfect for her. I think the specifics of each place are very important. The one she was in had 100% rating after state inspection which almost never happens. She was very limited with her sight and hearing, so the smallness of the place was important for her to make it easy to find her way around. What services they offer are important as well be it bus services to shopping, religious services, entertainment, weekly gatherings, etc. can all add to the social aspects of the place. MIL liked to walk so having peaceful grounds was important for us as we'd get together and walk to a nice bench by a pond full of ducks in the good weather. Quality of the food is important too. What most impressed me about her place was that, during the bad weather, the staff would stay overnight on site so they were sure to be there to prepare meals for everyone. So there are lots of factors to consider.

My mother moved into one when she was about that age. She was losing her eyesight so could no longer drive, else she would have stayed in her house. The 'institutional' food took a bit of getting used to, no soft rolls, but was of good quality. It helped that she always readily made friends as hers could rarely visit, though she made good use of her phone. My sister was able to visit frequently, myself a bit less often, and was able to shop for her, take her shopping and get her to doctors' appointments.

The associated paperwork could be a bit daunting, especially with her eyesight rapidly diminishing, when she needed to upgrade her level of care, but the staff was quite helpful.

My DH’s aunt and uncle lived in one. I believe in the beginning when you are the most independent you had choices of housekeeping and when you wanted to eat meals in the dining hall.

Their’s happened to be right behind a hospital facility, which I'm sure was planned.

It worked for them. Their were activities throughout the day, there might have been outings etc.

If the place is run we'll, I don't see a down side except for one thing. For me, the staff running around with name tags hanging around their necks. I'm sure it's a comfort for the residents but......

My Mother did for awhile. But, it was way too "busy". Other people barging in her place to

chat all the time really wasn't her thing. She had very little privacy, and even when her

family was visiting, people would just wander in and start chatting. Worked out better for

her to have her own Condo before she got too sick.

My DH's grandmother lived in one ages ago -- all I remember about her choice was: location (in her hometown, with several of her children nearby), health care (she moved up to nursing care for a while then was able to return to her own apartment), and she had enough room in her apartment for her furnishings and mementos.

My own dear mother and father were in their 70's when they picked out where they wanted to live. Again a main factor was location -- they wanted to be central to all us kids. My mom was ready to quit the daily cleaning and periodic maintenance of their large house, was looking forward to a small, downsized apartment. Alas her cancer came back before she and dad could move. Soon after her death, dad was able to move there. He especially enjoyed having company more his age and abilities, such as a (slow) walking club. He also enjoyed his "meal of the day", being able to select what he wanted from a pretty extensive menu. He was very content there until us kids started to retire and move; then he moved to be central to us, again likes his retirement community.

My Dh's aunt (early 80's) is finally ready to move into one, after a health scare that took her to the emergency room and then in the hospital overnight. She's been eyeing one in particular for years, based mostly on its location -- only a mile or two from her house. She wanted to stay in a familiar part of town, with relatives nearby.

It's kind of you to assist your friend in her decision. I've visited several (besides the ones with relatives). I think an important factor is how do you feel when you walk in the main door. Is it welcoming, is it clean and tidy, are there people around or does it look deserted.

Both my mother and MIL are in care facilities and both are private. I would caution you, your friend and your friends family to be very, very honest with what her current needs are and how quickly will she need the next level of care. Concentrate your looking and choice on not what her current needs necessarily are but what her future needs will be.

My mom had early Alzheimers but was still at the assisted living level when she moved into care but we concentrated our looking and choices on what her future needs would be - cognitively and physically. She moved into assisted living at 87 but She didn't need the memory care level until she was 90 and she is now 93 and needs a lot of care and we knew she would get it at this facility.

My MIL and her family (including my DH) were not honest with what her future needs would be. They chose an independent facility with limited assisted living availability and within 2 months they were told she did not qualify for independent living and needed to be moved to assisted living. (I told them that at the beginning but I'm just the DIL) The problem was, and here is the crux of how important the decision making is, the facility had 100 rooms with 70 for independent living, 15 for assisted living and 15 for memory care.

Who do you think gets all the attention and the activities and who the policies are set for - that's right - the money making independent living. The other two groups are an after thought, it is evident and it has been a nightmare for her.

That's my cautionary tale.

DH and I toured one near us and investigated another in a neighboring town. We decided we weren't ready to downsize that much, nor were we thrilled with 'communal' living. We plan to stay in our one-floor home and hire our own care-givers for as long as that's viable.

My DM had a bad experiece with a newly opened continuing care type place forty years ago -- because we failed to look carefully into the quality of care offered once one needed skilled nursing. I eventually got that part of the operation shut down until they could bring up the standard of care. ("Head of Nursing" had no qualifications and was a convicted drug dealer.) We put DM in another facility that was only skilled nursing. So...look beyond the pretty apartments and the dining options. You're paying over market for 'room and board' because of the guaranteed nursing care. No public health department has adequate staffing to oversee that end, and the facility has great interest in their bottom line (profitability).

My mother at 92 just moved to a retirement facility after becoming weaker and basically not wanting to fix food for herself.

What we found is that the newer facilities do not have independent living , assisted living, nursing care. They have one room and then the care is flexed by either their staff or home health agencies. The person stays in one room and does not need to move. This also helps with the "well, we don't have the room you need". This also helps with relationships built in the community, you do not move away from you r new friends.

An assessment was done when mom moved in, she started out at the most basic level. They clean her apartment, do her laundry, provide meals in dining room, and because she has a port they assist her with bathing.

While she wanted to live in her house until the end, she now realizes that she should probably have done this move years ago.