Sadly, her account seems to be gone.

https://www.houzz.com/discussions/6150279/so-excited-pre-wedding-prep

Oh no - that would be a huge loss. 🙁😩😥😿😾

I'm so glad you checked, 2katz. Sure hope she returns.

Perhaps there are other stresses or concerns that haved caused Jen to take a break. Sometimes what may look like a cause and effect online really isn’t.

Alternatively, sometimes people who have dear friends or family who battle addictions may be sensitive to what seems like an assumption that celebration requires alcohol. Being called a killjoy for suggesting alcohol is optional could be viewed as part of the culture that enables addiction. I totally get that, even though I love champagne and we still serve cocktails. My late brother was in recovery for the last 12 years of his life; balancing our own cultural norms with sensitivity to his situation was an ongoing adjustment.

That’s sad. Hope she returns.

In this day and age there are so many closet alcoholics and drug addicts I would think no one would have to explain why they wouldn't be offered alcohol. Maybe one of the guys is an alcoholic and has been sober for so many weeks then boom.

Rudeness is never okay and Jen did the right thing by calling someone out. It's hurtful and can ruin the rest of our day.

So Jen if you're reading this, get your arse back!

In today’s SM world, it has become acceptable to call people rude, selfish, killers, idiots….whatever. That is not right, but it is today. Sad, to me. Funny, (not really), but it is acceptable for some, but NOT for those who are quiet or soft, then ”come out”. Perhaps it is the Change that is most unacceptable.

Please let me just clarify this: That final straw happened when I told Arcy that she was rude for her insistence that those who object to providing alcohol to strangers were "killjoys". Annie, who started the thread, then told me that it's "rude to call someone else rude". I found myself thinking, well, isn't that exactly what is happening now? And then I started wondering, what the hell is even going ON here, when words tend to become so loaded in the blink of an eye, and I instantly knew that it's time to move on. Whether it's a community pattern that has evolved over time or simply my very own perceptions, it doesn't matter. It just doesn't work for me anymore.

Thanks again for caring. And now I'm really gonna go gently with a fond "peace out, y'all." Take good care.

I'm sorry if my remark caused Jen to leave. That was never the intent. Rather it was to get the thread back on track and not let it devolve into a tit for tat which is where I've seen so many threads get derailed to, and feared that was where that one was going. It was rude of me to suggest that Jen's remark was rude where she was saying someone else was rude, so I figured we were even on all accounts. But perhaps not.

Jen, I hope you reconsider and return for the sake of others, even if you prefer to put me on "ignore".

Jen, I am really sorry to see you go. I often think of you as my soul sister here. I imagine us meeting someday and doing a great hike. Be well, and know you will be missed. (Or come back and ignore the stuff, but I know there seems to be more and more to ignore. I post and read much less frequently nowadays.)

Jen, I am sorry to see you go. You've added so much to our small corner of the internet. There have definitely been times where I feel at odds with some of the posters here, but I'm learned (am learning,) that the best, most sane thing for me to do in those situations is to simply not respond. I hope you find your way back here.

As i said on another thread, you are missed!!!

Jen, take a break. come back when (and if) you are ready. wishing you all the best. you will be missed.

stay healthy

I'm so sorry to see you go Ida. You and Jinx are some of my most favorite people.

Having said that, I'm close to bailing as well, likely for the same reasons you did. I understand what you are saying and it's just not the same around here.

I wouldn't be surprised to see this thread deleted. Which is Exhibit A why I am not happy here anymore.

Come back, Jen!

Please don’t allow one or two at most people ruin the overall goodness of this place.

i know it is hard to not take things personally, but sometimes the written word can sound harsher than in real life.

I have met Annie in real life and I think the last thing she would do is ostracize anyone.

Ida, you'll be missed. I love your energy and your style.

Annie, I hope you are not taking any of this personally. How people view interactions is more about them than the other person.

Jen, I hope this is just a break and your endless wisdom returns to us soon! xo

Ahhh Jen.... I am am so saddened! I respect your wishes. Sometimes something can just hit us in the exact spot that can cause certain feelings.

You will be SO VERY MISSED!

Take care and maybe one day you will return? I can always hope. (((HUGS)))

Amy

Jen I so wish you would reconsider at some point. I remember the thread and I understand why you left as I think I would have too but.................Even though I hardly ever post here, I read everyday and so look forward to your posts. I am Grammaj but somehow got changed to a number. Take care and i will miss your thoughts for sure.

Oh dear - I get it though. Sometimes I am dumbfounded by the behavior of some people around here. I don’t do social media including IG but I may have to sign on as I really wanted to meet Ida some day and maybe even her cats if I was lucky. 😄

She’ll be back. She always comes back.

Wow, this makes me sad. I did not see the orginal thread, but I hope you will come back one day Jen. I really enjoyed reading your posts and I will miss you.

Sorry to see Jen leave us. Always enjoyed her posts. I haven't seen Jinx posting in this forum lately either. Saw a few on the other side, but not here. I miss her humor and the NOC pics.

Is the joy being zapped out of everything? I'm sorry Ida (Jen) you have left. Know that your contributions here were appreciated by me. Thank you and I hope you find a way back.

What’s funny/weird is that I also was wondering about Ida/Jen within the last day or so.

Please don’t tell me Jinx is gone, too.

@Sueb20 part of Jinx's comment from yesterday (on the Oakley thread)

Hi, ladies, thank you, I’m still around! I don’t want to hijack here, just to explain why I haven’t been posting much: I’ve been dealing with some significant health issues of my own since June (was in the hospital on my birthday, no fun). I pop in on some decor threads just for some much needed distraction.

I‘ve been in contact with sweet Ida, she’s taking a break of indeterminate duration. She wishes everyone well, but hasn’t had time to devote to much online stuff these days.

No one is at fault here. I am taking Jen’s withdrawal at face value according to her own words expressing her feelings. Perhaps she will rejoin at some point in the future; she knows she will be welcomed with open arms.

I took a long break. Came back for the ideas and networking. So far that's continued to be good, although the censorship has reduced the level of expertise shared and folks willing to share it. The site used to be well moderated by real people but that was a long time ago. You might not agree with the perspective of the moderator, but it was consistent. Now it seems rather haphazard and quite annoying. It does hurt my feelings to be called rude, because I have never purposely tried to be, although I have come off that way to some. However, if someone here called me rude, I wouldn't sweat it, the bar is quite low.

Jen you're a big girl and allowed to make decisions about where, when and how frequently you participate although I am saddened it won't be here. For now. I always hold out hope.

To echo Zalco, anyone of us could write something that becomes more than we intended to a reader at that moment in time.

I seldom ever post or even respond here, but I do read frequently and have learned many helpful/interesting things. When I see certain people's posts, I look forward to their insights. Jen, I've enjoyed your thoughtful posts perspective on life and I will miss you.

Jen, I'm sorry you felt the need to leave, but I certainly understand. I've seen people called much worse things than "rude" over on The Kitchen Table forum, and I've been a victim of some mean comments myself. I've been on GW for over 20 years and I've refused to let a couple of jerks over there run me off. Everyone has a limit though, and sometimes I feel like I've nearly reached mine.

People come and go all the time, for all sorts of reasons.

I'm still grieving the loss of Pal, and he's been gone well over a year now (maybe longer, time blurs...). I learned more from him than anyone else in all my years here. And don't get me going about losing Marcolo, who still to this day had the most entertaining writing style on any internet board, ever.

It's the circle of life on an internet board. The nature of the current moderation and poofing of threads because one person gets their undies in a wad annoys the living carp out of me - but that's my cross to bear. Maybe it finally annoys me enough that I walk away. In which case....the world keeps right on spinning, you know?!

Patrice, I totally agree. But, I miss Pal and Marcolo for other reasons. They were more professional in their contributions..

Happy trails, Jen!

Nooooo! Jen‘s ongoing battle with the neighbors over the kichen exhaust had me riveted for quite a while. . Always one. of our more entertaining members. See you on IG, Jen.

@Jen, (aka IdaClaire), Thank you for taking the time to respond and update us.

Please reconsider your decision.

As in most groups, I enjoy most members, but there are a couple I avoid and just do not engage with. Perhaps, you could try that strategy?

For several reasons, our society has become quite rough lately. However, there is much kindness on this site and you are very much missed.

I'm another who seldom posts since the GW to Houzz transition. But I read the conversations forum frequently and I'll miss Ida's posts. I hope you come back soon, Ida.

Jen, I always think of you when I watch Home Town or use my Kitchen Aid stand mixer glass bowl. I hope you reconsider and return one day. In the meantime, take care.

Happy Trails, Jen! You can see how much you will be missed here. I always envy you and others who can express yourselves well and write so well. And i always enjoyed the trip reports of your visits to England with your mother and your hikes. I hope this virus allows us to one day get back to some trails out west. Meanwhile, I totally understand taking a break from here and wish you well.

Taking a break from anything can be restorative. My response about serving alcohol was meant more in the vein of not assuming that having a bit of champagne would render all the groomsmen drunk for the ceremony. Alcohol consumption or avoidance is a very personal thing and it has always struck me as odd that you can say "no thank you" to a cocktail or glass of wine and instantly people want to know why you aren't drinking. Say no to an appetizer and no one demands an explanation!

I remember when you were AuntJen or was it Aunt jen? My hope is that you will take a nice refreshing break and return. It will not be the same without you. I fear this is a downhill slide we have been on, and that makes me sad. I once felt very connected here when it was gardenweb, but since then my presence or absence seems to go unnoticed...Indigorose

Jen/ Ida…please go see my comment at the end of that thread.

martinca_gw sunset zone 24

here it is, is case the original didappears:

1 dont see its changed much. Seems to me there were far more cantankerous threads in the years past.…..leaving covid out . Ida/ Jen, come back! *You've been here forever, and a core part this forum, and would be sorely missed. Is your skin a bit thIn? Guess thats why I always think pf you as a redhead 😀 Yep, and pretty sure you know it. WE all have our foibles ..our tribe ACCEPTS them and goes on….bunched panties and all. 😁And wouldnt your sweet mama mention ’ clipping noses while spiting faces?* is a little dust up worth it? Nah, sure;y not. You are far too intelligent to allow one to carry you off.

Spring, I would only call someone rude when I'm online because they are humiliating a real person. They don't get that there's someone with a heart who had no intention of hurting someone. This is the type of message board where rudeness is frowned upon.

Martinca, when I joined Houzz the bullying was really bad. If the Leader of the Bullies began the insults the rest would jump in and not one person had the guts to stand up to them. I'll never forget my first post on our brand new stone mantel and all I asked was how to decorate it. "Tear it down." What rudeness. lol But I was too scared to say anything so I cried the rest of the day.

Thank God that behavior and the many posters who chimed in are GONE.

Jen,

I do not post daily and have taken a few breaks over the years, started back in the tea cup days. I have enjoyed your persoective on things for many years, you will be missed.

Nekotish, if I'm not mistaken the guys will be strangers and there's no way I'd offer alcohol to a stranger, or anyone I knew with a drinking problem.

Drinking is super popular now in that age group.

Time to let it go please.

So glad you left your insta account :) Just followed you.