I found someone who excelled in that skill and asked him to mentor/teach me. It worked out well.

Very interesting. I only know you from what I read here but my gut tells me you can do this. I ended my career as a senior executive in charge of service for a healthcare IT vendor. Early in my life I was an easily intimidated, low confidence individual working in retail. I got called into the HR office because I got such a bad report from the secret shopper. Somewhere along the line I got the hang of dealing with customers (including lots of complaints and major problems) and grew to love it and excel at it.

Is there something specific you are concerned about? Will you be dealing with problems and complaints or more service delivery? Over the course of my career there have been situations where I feared and didn’t want to do what I was asked to do because I wasn’t confident it would go well. In every case it went fine and the sense of accomplishment afterward was amazing. I usually had to have a therapy session with DH who would talk me off the ledge and tell me I could do it.

I say give it a go. Try to change what you tell yourself about it to focus on more positive aspects. Our interior narrations can really affect our feelings, I believe.

In my job, I am often faced with tasks I am loathe to take on, but I remind myself of something I heard from Stephen Colbert a long time ago. He said when something scares you, go for it. Face it as a challenge, rather than shying away.

And I also learned a long time ago to imagine the worst thing that can happen as a result - it's often not as bad as you might think. Then I remind myself of that as often as necessary. I also remind myself I am a grown up person - way grown up! I should be able to do this at this stage in my life.

IMPE, it also helps to think about how I will feel when I accomplish a new challenge.

It's almost never as bad as we imagine.

IdaClaire, you are the last person here who I would have thought would have difficulty in this arena!

I am sorry this is stressful for you.

Do you think it makes sense for them to be asking this of you considering your role in the company at this time? Are things shifting where they need more direct hands-on?

You are conscientious and a hard worker. I can see you NOT LIKING this aspect of the job but, I can't see you failing at it. No way.

I agree with Zalco. I also would be curious if others have been asked to add this to their job description.

I find you so charming and engaging on these boards that it's difficult to imagine that you wouldn't be a great "customer service" person! I think there can be a steep learning curve for problem solving, but if you know your company's "product" and how the organization works, that's the biggest hurdle already overcome.

The suggestion by Zalco to ask someone to mentor you is a great one, I think. And, if you decide to try this opportunity, it probably will take no time before you've gained your confidence and will wonder why you ever worried about it. Good luck!

I agree - I think you have the qualities to approach this new challenge in spades. Can you think of a specific incident where this 'fear' took over? Perhaps just understanding a bit more about the why and where it came from will give you the perspective to move past it. I also think the mentoring aspect could prove valuable.

You say you have been asked to engage with the public in a sort of customer service role. Is this as a speaker to a group, or one on one in person with customer/clients, or is it written communication clarifying things with customers, resolving disputes?

Are you viewing this new position as a sort of demotion? I know you said you were a painfully shy child, but if you will be interacting anonymously with strangers in your new position, you should have no trouble, unless you think you are being overlooked or demoted in some way.

Is it odd that they would pull someone from the administrative side of the house to do this outreach? Did someone look around and see the attractive blonde woman and decide you would make a good face for the company?

It would be difficult for an introvert to suddenly be thrust into a public role. But you may be able to manage it once you understand the parameters of the job. Maybe you will end up giving the same speech or remarks over and over again at various events. Tagging along with someone who does it routinely would help.

I also had some questions about the actual job. And I 100% agree with others who have said you seem so well equipped in personality and capability to handle this new aspect of your job, and with zalco who suggested a mentor who does this sort of work well.

Does management have someone in your department doing this job now? Are they dissatisfied with their handling of the job or is this something totally new?

Since you have excelled at everything else that has been thrown at you, why shouldn’t the company expect the same of you in this job too? I know you want to please and excel at this job too, so how about if you negotiate this on a trial basis, say 6 months. If you still have strong negative feelings about dealing with the public, would there be repercussions if you decided this wasn’t the best fit for you?

Lots of good advice, and I have a link that you might find useful. This was an interview on Gretchen Rubin's blog about happiness and the idea struck me as so deep yet so simple: happiness comes both from a feeling of security and from taking risks! Seems to be some of what you are feeling as you ponder trying something that you're not sure about, in the midst of a work environment that sounds very comforting and comfortable.

IdaClaire, you already have the fundamentals for excellent "customer service" that are hard to teach: authenticity, empathy, tact, honesty and the tenacity to make things right for the customer. A lot of people don't realize that these so-called "soft skills" are often more important than deep knowledge of the product or service. Those characteristics win the day with nearly everyone. (Yes, there are occasionally jerks.) Strangers are only strangers until you get to know them.

I say this as an introvert. I'm good one to one and decline in proportion to the size of a group. My field is computer science. I did customer support for many years and usually enjoyed it. I had deep expertise in a very narrow area. I often supported things I knew nothing about. I might not know how to resolve an issue myself, but I was relentless in doing whatever it took corral the people who did. I spent time at customer sites all over the world. I listened, captured the concerns, never lied, and made sure that the clients knew I'd do everything I could to get our company to resolve the problems.

My manager in that job knew that I was terrified of public speaking. She carefully structured an opportunity with zero risk of difficult questions from the audience to help me get over my fear. It was early morning, last day of a user group conference, at the same time as a very popular speaker in another room. "Ten people max, Moxie." Ha!! It was standing room only. There's always someone in the audience who wants you to succeed. Make occasional eye contact with that lifeline. Piece of cake! My dry run with my own team had been infinitely harder. I'll never be a great public speaker, but groups don't scare me now.

Ultimately, understanding customers and being able to speak to more than a handful of people at a time were tremendously helpful in the work I love - managing complex technical projects.

I think you will surprise yourself. I have faith in you and your abilities and it sounds like everyone here does as well.

Take us into those meetings with you in your head.

Ida your questions and fear of this new responsibility makes me wonder a few things. First, I wonder if you were chosen for this task because others saw a strength you don't recognize in yourself? Second, the fear itself, what is that feeling really and specifically about? Can you articulate your fear or is it sort of free floating anxiety. You say you are ill equipped for this assignment. How? Is your answer reality or something else? Once you know the answers you will know if they are based in reality.

You asked, Have you experienced anything similar and if so, how did you cope? What were your results? Yes, several times in a my career I have had to take on new and scary to me duties. Some of which I never imagined I would ever be good doing or liking. Each and every time I for a better word, freaked out on the inside, put on a good face, struggled for a time and learned, grew and then excelled at the task. Each time I eventually moved up in both confidence and in a deeper understanding of who I am and what I am capable of. I learned how to quiet the inner voice, the negative thoughts and that I was smarter and better than I grew up believing. Each and every time it led to a new and more interesting and fulfilling position. I learned to reach out to others who I respected to guide me in my new roles. The one mantra I use whenever I am faced with a new or difficult task is, "What's the worse that could happen?" and the real answer is never as bad as the imagination.

Though we have never met I believe from what I have read here you will excel at this. It will not be easy at first but you will find you are more capable and have more capacity for this than you think. If in the end you can always look for a different position after you have tried this task. You will never know if you can if you don't.

Two things that helped me overcome my obsession with noticing my painful shyness. One is I focussed on the people who came for my help or to complain about something or to get verification for something or whatever. I just simply focussed on the words they were saying to me.

The other thing I did was made sure I knew my company's policies around people and at first I followed those to the letter. Knowledge is power.

So focus on the people you are serving in some way and know exactly what your company is about with regards to its clients or customers or patients or whatever.

I agree you can do this.

I just want to thank you all for the thoughtful and kind responses. I will post a lengthier reply soon, but we are getting ready to depart for home (have been vacationing in the mountains), and I want to devote time to my response (I'm a bit short on it at the moment). Suffice it to say for now that you've given me insight and I already have a greater understanding of why I feel as I do about this situation. I also am starting to feel more empowered.

Thank you again. I will revisit this as soon as I can.

Can you provide more specifics about what this task entails? Do you have to go out of the office and on to their premises? (Most people feel more comfortable on their own territory). Will you be dealing with a group of people or one on one? Does it involve emotional support? Do these people have problems (physical or psychological) that make you feel uncomfortable to be around? How many times a week or month do you have to do it?

You said that you feel ill-equipped to take on this assignment. Is this just because of what you believe to be your personality or can you get more training? Is someone doing this job now? Can you observe how they do it?

I am retired now but years ago something similar happened to me at my job. The company got rid of the marketing people and the workers in my position were expected to take on the marketing duties. Like you, those were not my strong skills and I never wanted a marketing job. In addition to the "selling" aspect, it entailed driving long distances around the entire state. I am someone who has always had a fear of highway driving. And this was in the early 1990's with no cell phone if I had a car problem and no GPS for driving directions. I had to do it, though, because the economy was terrible and there were very few jobs in my field. I also had 20 years with the company. I managed to do it only because I HAD to do it. The stress was terrible. I dreaded the trips that I had to take, which were every other week. There were other stresses on the job (too many to go into) that absolutely had an effect on my health. It ended when I was laid off from the company and they closed a year later. In hindsight the layoff was actually a blessing. I am not exaggerating when I say that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because of the stress.

I know that the people who have posted are trying to be positive and encouraging, and that is a good thing. But I also acknowledge that you know yourself, just like I knew myself. Each one of us has our own "nature" and are introverts or extroverts. That said, you may be able to learn to tolerate this new duty and with results that are satisfactory to your company. If you can be more specific as to what this new duty entails, people may have ideas on how you can mitigate your discomfort level.

If this is a step up, then I would have some faith in the judgment of the people who know the role and are confident that you can do it. Plus, once we mature, I think we all realize we can do pretty much whatever we set our minds to, right? It's really good to challenge yourself, and it keeps you young.

If it is a lateral move or a role you think is junior in some way, and a task you don't like, then maybe I would have a different answer.

If it is a lateral move or a role you think is junior in some way, and a task you don't like, then maybe I would have a different answer.

Mtn makes an excellent point here. Without knowing the specifics of this particular situation, I have in hindsight regretted that too often in my career I accepted duties or responsibilities without considering whether doing the work really was strategic, ie if it was going to move me anywhere or if it was just something that someone figured 'runninginplace will do that'.

I especially regret that I said ok to handling a lot of routine office tasks because eventually I ended up spending far too much time doing those instead of the higher level work that I was actually getting paid to do. Actually my university was paying me a LOT more to do that than a secretary. Then again, I guess they came out ahead since they got to skip the secretary (literally, at some point I lost my dedicated support staffer!) and have the director do it.

Mtn's entirely correct that it's important not to mistake loyalty and a good work ethic with feeling obligated to say yes to any and everything the management asks of a loyal and responsible worker. The harsh truth is that in any workplace, the one who will get the work done will almost always be asked to work to cover other people or take on other tasks regardless of whether it helps the worker herself.

You've built a good bankroll of credibility and reputation over the years, I'm sure Ida. If need be, don't be afraid to spend some of it by saying no to something that isn't going to be worth your time or aggravation. If it helps YOU, that's a different discussion.

Running, I was thinking the same. I suspect cuts are being made and this work is now being distributed.

Otherwise, Ida would have explained that it was a promotion of sorts.

Women who are in their 50 and 60's in the workforce don't have the luxury of saying no as someone younger.

The younger generation has a very different take on work. They don't feel the need to stay long if something is not "working" in the environment for them. My youngest has moved around quite a bit and it was never a problem finding the next position. I don't think this is the same for someone older.

Not much to add to all the helpful comments above, but I did think of something else: is there an organization policy manual, or similar? It can be very helpful to be familiar with rules, procedures and expectations before taking on unfamiliar duties. Sure helps me feel less anxiety. I am also rather introverted and shy, BTW. Interacting in person with strangers sometimes leaves me feeling emotionally exhausted.

And yes, it is true that there is such a thing as the Peter Principle - or that sometimes there is no way to enjoy a task, no matter how hard one tries.

A few question I’d ask myself in your position:

1. Is this a skill that would help me grow professionally (not just in terms of immediate advancement, but long-term growth)?

2. How much time will I spend on this part of my duties in comparison to others that I naturally enjoy? (If you’re Spending a lot of time in something that is not your “sweet spot”, the area that you shine in and enjoy, you’ll end up not liking your work or even hating it even if you develop the necessary skills.)

3. I’d there a higher purpose to this aspect of the work that you can sublimate to, such that you Don’t feel like you’re doing this just to advance? Some of us have a tendency to look for meaning and some type of public good in what we do, and anything that’s not tied to such a higher purpose makes us feel like sellouts.

4. Is there a someone you can lean on to guide you in this area?

I too am pathologically shy and introverted. I’m an attorney. Put me in a court room or meetings or conferences where it‘s the substance of the law that I speak on, and I shine, and I show no Sign of being introverted. I can’t make small talk, or “give a speech” so, nOt all types of public performances are the same. You have to decide if this is a worthwhile investment if your time and if you can gain the skills to do what is needed and still maintain those aspects of the job that give you joy. Just my two cents. Good luck! I know you’ll do well.

Did I misconstrue what you are saying Carol ? The "Peter Principle" basically says that people keep working their way up, and stop moving up at the point where they are incompetent; if they were competent at their job they'd just get rewarded by moving out of it again. Hence, cynically, one would argue that the top of every corp is run by incompetents.

This is what I know as the Peter Principle:

"In a hierarchical system, you will be promoted to your level of incompetence."

And what I meant in this case was it happens that when someone is doing a great job in one area, there may be a tendency by superiors to mistakenly presume they'll be just as great in some other area.

And then, of course, there's the possibility that there's nobody else qualified to fill the position, so tag! you're it.

Yes, exactly. i was confused by this:

And yes, it is true that there is such a thing as the Peter Principle - or that sometimes there is no way to enjoy a task, no matter how hard one tries.

It looked like you were defining the Peter Principle as "sometimes there is no way to enjoy a task, no matter how hard one tries."

Someone once told me that the anticipation is worse than the reality. We all have our anxiety-producing situations and only you know what you're feeling inside. From reading your contributions here, you come across as thoughtful, caring and very able to communicate your thoughts. I'm sure that's why you've been asked to take on this role. Know you've got the support of your friends here!

Read Malcolm Gladwell’s “Talking to Strangers“. It’s not a self help book but it might give you a whole new perspective on how we interact with people we don’t know.

Hi IdaClaire

To me, 'engaging with the public' and 'customer service' are not necessarily the same thing. Can you describe the duties more? Break it down into components, and figure out which components you dislike the most. This can help with strategies.

Also, think about looking at your company's job descriptions. My company's are on an internal website hopefully yours are accessible. Are the duties that you are being asked to do part of yours? Are they part of another job's description? Would your job description officially change, what about title, remuneration? If this becomes part of your duties it will become part of your assessment.

I may be way off base here, because I don’t know you or your company, but here goes:

You mention several times that you have a responsible, high level job that pays well and you love it. You also say you are in the twilight of your career and your company has been rearranging jobs and responsibilities. Is there any way that they KNOW this proposed change is not what you prefer, in the hopes that you will leave? Then they can hire new/rearrange existing personnel to have a lower-paid person in your place. Distasteful, I know. But it happens.

If it is not something you want to do and not part of your job description, I would probably find a way to say you aren't comfortable doing it. Provided that you feel that won't jeopardize your job security or, if it does, provided you feel you have ample other career options.

I have a very specific idea of what work I do and don't want to do and I simply won't do work I don't want. I have left jobs because I didn't want to do work I didn't enjoy. But that's only possible because I have enough freelance work that pays me way more than my day job does. It all comes down to what options you feel you have -- if you have options, you have leverage. If you feel you don't, then you're more forced into a situation where you have to try to make stuff work.

Engaging with the public or doing customer service work would be a red line for me. No way I would consider doing it - it just sounds awful. If you feel the same, then regardless of whether you would be good at it or not, it may make you miserable and unhappy and it may be time to look at other options. You'd probably be good at a whole lot of things you don't want to do -- but do you want to spend the rest of your working days dreading doing whatever this task is?

I promise to return to this soon, but just want to put to bed any thoughts that the new role is a demotion or an attempt on the part of the company to rid itself of me. We are also not downsizing in any way, but have been restructuring as a whole in the department to maximize effectiveness across the board. We have had one recent retirement and that employee's tasks are being reallocated. That's basically how I came to be in this situation.

Will provide more details soon, but hope this little drive-by blip explains a bit more for now. :)

I really don't like to be a negative Nelly, but downsizing comes in many flavors other than direct layoffs. Very common is attrition, which is just not rehiring if someone leaves, (which sometimes comes with INDIRECT efforts to get someone to either retire or leave), and then, along with that comes the re-assignment of more tasks to fewer people. Theoretically if you are going to do that, you have given some thought about how you can do more with less and will jettison some non-essential tasks and also those that are not time-efficient (time invested vs return to the company in meeting goals). In the best of circumstances, that is accompanied by a more laser focus on goals since if you are trying to do more with less you have to prioritize well. In many circumstances though, that doesn't happen and it's just pile on more work indiscriminately on remaining workers, and then pile on the pressure for them to get it all done, and if they don't like it, you can hire someone for less to do their job. Only you know which situation you are in.

I also think that if you are nervous about doing the new task, you are afraid of failing at it. I have often had to take on new tasks, and some of us with a slow learning curve, fail miserably before we succeed awesomely. I guess some are born awesome and some have to work up to it. Our whole society is suffering from a "fear of failure" disorder that causes mental health issues and also stops many people from developing new skills and tasks. If you have a reasonable management structure that is willing to support their existing staff and allow you to fail your way to success (it can be done, ask me how I know . . . ) then I would relax, and approach it in a systematic and scientific manner as I have in any other skill I needed to develop.

I'm a people person, I'd develop a mentor relationship, but you could also find a whole lot of information on how to do it, and set goals for yourself, etc. Break the task down. And you could become good at it, even if it isn't something you like to do naturally. But maybe not right out of the gate. Don't set that expectation for yourself. You should not be afraid of trying, but if you are afraid of the effect that failing might have on your career, I think that fear is valid given the modern work world. Still, you could manage to succeed if you plan ahead for any of the obstacles you might encounter and develop a success strategy. I'm a teacher, and this is the approach we are trained in, not every student learns the same way, but with enough knowledge you can design a system that works for individual students. Be your own teacher, you can do it. You also need to accept that you might not end up being God's gift to customer service, but you could be good in your own way. Half of success is just having the courage to show up, no matter what.

I spent two hours last week with a guy who was a sales trainer for his product, who was making the sales call because the salesman was out on maternity leave due to his wife just having a baby, and they gave him some time off. Really impressed me about that company. They guy said he had been with the company 20 years. I got the impression he was the engineer-type guy and his training was to get the sales force to understand the technical aspects of the product. He wasn't a very good salesman though. He knew the product, but he wasn't talking to the decision makers and spent way too much time telling us the pluses of stuff that we were probably going to hear from our superiors that it was too expensive. We didn't need to be sold. But hey, I'll bet the professionalism the guy showed was one of the pluses for their company IF you could afford their product. So he wasn't a great salesman, but as he said, if you understood the ins and outs of the product (and had the money) the product sold itself. So not the traditional sales approach that we may be used to, but one that worked. He said his sales force was about 40-50% closing, and that is considered a very good percentage. Notice, not perfect, but very good if you understand long term sales projections. So you don't need to be perfect to be very good. Just sayin . . .

Given Ida's confidence about the context of the request, and her overall job satisfaction I think we can be most helpful by reacting more specifically to this:

"I don't WANT to take on this one thing. I fear it. It takes me completely out of my comfort zone and thrusts me into an arena where I believe myself to be ill equipped. Have you experienced anything similar and if so, how did you cope? What were your results?"

Is fear the only reason you "don't WANT" to do this? Because none of us here can imagine you ill-equipped to do "customer service" or "interact with strangers" (what are we?! LOL).

Whenever you have to interact with a stranger, just pretend it is one of us. "Look, Pinkmountain, we here at IdaClaire Inc. are sorry about ... but..."

In what ways do you think you are ill-equipped? Maybe if you parse the task, you can decide where you need to focus? Is there someone (the retiree?) who has done it and give you pointers?

Also, is this additive to your existing duties? Because I am thinking that if it is additive, it would have to be a pretty small part of your job... how much free time would you have for a new task? So it's not like you are changing jobs, and it is not like to a big part of how you spend your day.

Sorry for the sidetrack, but @ mtnrdredux - the 'or' meant those are 2 different things. That it is also possible either you're being promoted beyond your level of competence - or - there are no redeeming qualities about the job. Apologies for being unclear.

Maybe in my professorial explanation, some points were lost. Thinking on it further, from my own experience, my advice would be: You can't control what is going on around you, only your response to it. If you have no choice but to tackle the new assignment, then you need to become your own controller as far as how you approach it. There are many ways to break down an onerous task into one that is tolerable, including setting up your own internal reward system, and using cognitive behavior theory to reframe how you think about and approach the task. Also understanding your own needs. Introverts can do tasks at which extroverts excel easily, for example, as long as they realize they will need to build in "recharging" cave time alone for themselves into their day. So maybe figure out how to fit that into your work day after you finish the customer service time. If you're not into getting help from others, set up a little rewards notebook and give yourself the rewards that mean something to you.

For years I organized a large community event where I had to recruit hundreds of volunteers. I loathed doing it. I set up a goal to make ten calls a day, and set aside a time to do it. And I had some easy calls on my list and some really difficult ones. I determined to detach from the outcome based reward idea and just focus on making a set number of calls. Then I determined I could put the event out of my mind and enjoy my evening. I focused on the process, not the outcome. Of course this is standard salesperson strategy. The more calls, the more likely I was to get someone to say yes. This was a guarantee, regardless of how good or bad I personally was on the call. I just had to get rid of my loathing and do it, there was no way I was going to be so bad as to not convince someone to help unless I was totally nuts. I just needed to do the basic asking, folks would help or not, depending on their circumstances. The fact that I just focused on making the call actually allowed me to get some unlikely people to participate, just because I was willing to risk a no and straight out ask them. Some were actually delighted to be asked. I would hazard a guess the same could be said of customer service, just train yourself to tolerate the basics of the tasks and execute them professionally and you're probably as golden as you can get in that field.

This looks like great advice for any number of tasks, I really like it!

I set up a goal to make ten calls a day, and set aside a time to do it. And I had some easy calls on my list and some really difficult ones. I determined to detach from the outcome based reward idea and just focus on making a set number of calls. Then I determined I could put the event out of my mind and enjoy my evening. I focused on the process, not the outcome.

I've read every single word here more than once, and I have no doubt I'll be returning again as I continue to process all that has been shared. Thanks so much to each and every one of you -- you are all tremendous sources of knowledge, experience, and inspiration.

I work at the HQ level of a multinational corporation, and am involved primarily in corporate governance. The new tasks that I've been asked to undertake have to do with the financial sector, and that's an area where my experience and knowledge is lacking. I will be dealing primarily with investors and therefore I'm terribly concerned about my limited exposure in this arena and how that could potentially reflect not only on me, but on the company as a whole. That said, my role is of a slighty limited nature, in that I will be providing information and/or referring specific questions or needs to another entity that deals in certain transactional aspects. I suppose you could say I'll be first point of contact, and it will largely be by phone or email, and always on my own turf. In laying it all out like this, I realize it sounds like I'm shying away from something that a trained ape could do, but there's something about the "aspects of the unknown" that troubles me, as each scenario will be slightly different -- and I may from time to time be dealing with investors who are not well versed in their holdings or are confused about how things work. I fear this being a cocktail for disaster and embarrassment, as my own knowledge is so severely limited. I don't feel that I've been adequately trained, but my superiors are aware of this and have said they'll be there to help me in any way needed. I do work in an environment where questions are welcomed and others are willing to assist, so that's a plus -- but I also don't want to be "that person" who runs to a supervisor with each little thing that I find confusing. I work with some incredibly bright minds, and I feel a certain responsibility to work things out on my own insofar as it is practicable to do so. I've long heard it said that "there are no stupid questions", but actually, sometimes there ARE. Some things should be obvious, and I fear putting myself out there as one who is ill-informed.

In trying to summarize exactly what it is about this that scares me so, it's probably a fear of the unknown more than anything -- and a worry that I'll prove to be an embarrasment. I guess I have a life-sized mental image of someone shouting down the phone at me that I'm clueless, and shouldn't be in this position since I clearly have no idea what I'm doing. Of course, I do realize that the likelihood of that actually happening is slim to none, and yet I find that's the self-talk that I tend to inflict on myself the most.

Certainly I can read and absorb and ask questions and learn. I also know that sometimes learning comes as a result of trial and error. I will also admit that I often feel reluctant to the point of almost refusing, when it comes to learning and taking on new assignments. I was asked to assist on a project last year that I felt completely inadequate to handle, and yet I did it (with the guidance of some exceptional colleagues), and that proved to be something that made me grow significantly and truly instilled a tremendous sense of pride. The project was the reason I was able to take my first-ever trip to NYC as well, which was an added bonus. (I must have satisifed management with my performance on the project, as I received a monetary bonus as well.) So I KNOW that I can move forward and tackle something that initially seems off-putting to me, but I experience such tremendous trepidation about making those first steps initially that at times it feels downright crippling.

Maybe I'm just going through a time of growing pains right now --- I dunno. When I think of the financial/investment knowledge I need to gain in order to do as I've been asked, I'm struck by an overall feeling of malaise ... "But I don't WANNA put forth the effort ..." and also a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I'm a fraud, and that somebody's gonna find out. And it's funny, particularly based upon what some of you have said here, because I know with certainty that I project an outward picture of professional poise and competence, which is largely why my superiors place their confidence in me. Inwardly, however, I struggle with still being an 8-year old child who has the "I don't wannas" and "I'm not good enough to be a part of this" that plays on a loop. I have jokingly told colleagues that my mantra is "fake it til you make it", and we all have a laugh about that -- but there is also a snippet of truth in that statement for me.

I do believe that we must continue to stretch ourselves, to step outside of our comfort zones, in order to grow and feel accomplished career-wise. Goodness knows I don't want a boring job where I watch the clock and long for the day to end, but I also have a fear when I'm about to enter into a new project or task that it will somehow become all-consuming, and not in a good way. I think the advice above to simply start "consuming it", bite by bite, is just about the only way to even begin. I really like the idea of setting up a reward system for even the seemingly smallest accomplishments, because no matter if my feelings about this whole thing are legit or idiotic, they're still my feelings and I know I should be gentle with myself.

I struggle with ..."I'm not good enough to be a part of this" that plays on a loop.

IME managing people, most women feel this way. And most men should feel this way, and don't. We women tend to be such goodie two shoes and we always do our homework and are trying for the A+. Men tend to be much more comfortable flying by the seat of their pants; sometimes too comfortable.

There is a difference between knowledge and ignorance. You may have less technical knowledge than you'd like for this task, but you are not ignorant. Meaning you can handle the tasks; you can find out what you don't know. There are subjects about which I know almost nothing, but I don't feel I am ignorant.

I used to tell junior people, you are allowed to ask "stupid" questions. Almost everyone is afraid to ask and so they go forward with knowledge gaps or an incomplete understanding. I would say you can ask a "stupid question," as long as you don't ask the same stupid question twice. Because then I really will wonder.

I took a job that required me to be on the front lines in a civil law office for low income people. (High demand, not nearly enough services available for people in need). I was supervised by attorneys, but on my own answering phones (5 lines!), doing crisis intervention and giving initial legal advice (allowed by non-attorneys if supervised by attorneys). I was hired because of my extensive crisis intervention, domestic violence experience, but I knew nothing of the actual laws around child custody, landlord tenant disputes, etc. But the calls I took were from domestic violence victims who were in fear for their lives and/or their children were being used as pawns to keep them compliant; landlords throwing tenants out without due process; law enforcement not doing as they were required to do under the law to help victims, mortgage companies foreclosing illegally, etc. In other words, lives and quality of lives were at stake.

I hated not knowing the right answers, but I did seem to know what I didn't know (which it sounds as if you do, too). I discovered greatest asset while learning was the "hold" button, asking people if they could hold for just a minute, because I needed to get some better information for them. Or could I call them back after I was able to talk with someone else who would know the right answer, or have more details, etc. I was very humble in the beginning about my knowledge and people did not seem to mind that. It probably took me 3 years to get to a place where I seldom had to interrupt an attorney to make sure I was giving the correct advice.

I know I appreciate people who say, "That's something I really need to check into for you," then do it and get back to me. I don't see them as ignorant or stupid, but helpful and competent.

Hopefully, if you decide to try this, you'll find your groove and your inner dialog will change to something more supportive of your competence.

Robo I am so glad for you I have been so worried! Congratulations on sticking to your guns and knowing your value! Hope it works out in the long run pretty sure it will though!

It also sounds like they know your value and don't want to lose you! I was worried when you said you were having difficulty at work.

Now they know not to mess with Emmett's mom...

Good for you Robo. I know it is business, but it always irks me when the "higher-ups" try to take advantage.