Equal Parts Vent & WWYD - Medical
rubyclaire
2 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (110)
Related Discussions
High cost of vet care???
Comments (20)Soooooooooooo sorry your kitty died, Karen ! :-( There are good people / competent people in every profession.There are also people who should never be near anything living! If you have ANY doubts about what someone tells you, ask questions and DO NOT let them rush through their answers ! If you feel at all uncomfortable about a treatment suggestion (or attitude) WALK OUT and find someone you trust. This is your family member and they deserve the same respect and care as any one in need. I have found that many owners know what needs to be done in many circumstances and some times it does make my job a whole bunch easier because the major problem has been resolved, or nearly so. :-) You are right. No one knows their pet better than their owner. Oh sure we might know technical terminology like: "boo boo elbow" or other things but the bottom line comes down to ONLY YOU KNOW what is best for your pet! For example, chemo may be OK for some but not OK for others, no matter what the vet says and the decision you make for your beloved family member IS 100% right for you! My Mikey, my very best fuzzy friend ever, a grey kitty, had squamous cell carcinoma in his mouth. I knew as well as his oncologist, there was not really any hope to prolong Mikey's life. We did try 2 courses of chemo but most importantly his pain was under control. Mikey died 32 days after I found the bump on his gums that was smaller than the size of a BB pellet. One month later, Teeb, another kitty , had intermittent diarrhea. She went for endoscopy and we found intestinal lymphoma. Following numerous e mails and phone calls to human and vet oncologists it was determined that form of cancer was not painful. Chemo would buy her another 9 months of life. OK. We went for it and we got 22 more months with Teeb! I would say 95% of her days were good days. If she could wake up, get petted, eat and slug the other cats who got out of line, that was a good day! After all, Teeb was the kitty who was in charge of the rest of the kitty herd. :-) Bosco, the GSD, had a very guarded prognosis with his type of cancer. A very aggressive hemangiosarcoma of the spleen generally spreads and kills 80% of the patients within 1-2 months of the initial diagnosis. We were ~~VERY~~ fortunate to detect it early and remove the cancerous spleen in an almost bloodless operation (to decrease microscopic spread of the tumour cells throughout his doggy body) and we started chemo exactly 10 days after the surgery. He still had his stitches in his belly when he started his chemo! We **NEEDED** to try to prolong his life for a multitude of reasons. True, we are very fortunate that I am a vet and most things are either free (like x-rays, surgery, bloodwork) and the treatment was done at cost through the extraordinary generosity of the oncologist who cared for our Mikey and Teeb. Had I been a "real person" our cost for Bosco would have been just over $5000.00 total! WOW!! I don't know that we would have been able to afford that, even though the cost was spread out over 4 months. (That price does not include the follow-up met check radiographs and bloodwork after December 2005.) Thankfully all has turned out far better than anyone anticipated for Bosco. :-) This was the right decision for US. Had someone else been in the exact same circumstance and decided not to go further with surgery or chemo, that would be the exact right decision for them! Everyone is different and only YOU know and understand what your beloved family member can or should endure. They know only you and have complete trust in you caring and love for them. This trust can never be betrayed and don't let any one try to force you or your pet into anything with which you are uncomfortable! Mmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee. (((BTW Semper .. the full colour photograph of the 3 pound cancerous tumour is available for your viewing when you request it. :\-) )))...See MoreNext Door Neighbor Installing Outdoor Wood Boiler - WWYD
Comments (62)I know this is an old post but I felt I should chime in for any future readers. We purchased a house three years ago that was heated with an outdoor wood boiler. We live in rural Ontario, Canada where February is typically -35 Celcius. We had never heard or seen these things before but heating sources in the rural area are limited to wood, electric heat, or propane. Here's my experience with them after three years or using one every winter: The very first time you fire up the boiler each fall there will be lots of smoke for an hour or two (just like when you light a fire in your fireplace - there is lots of smoke out your chimney upon first start). After the boiler is at temperature, and you're burning seasoned wood, there will be VERY little smoke. IF the boiler is a gassifier (re-burns the gas before it exits the chimney) then there is practically NO visible smoke at all - EVER. Most boilers have thermostats that ONLY open the dampers and turn on the down draft fans when the water temperature goes below a set value (160 degrees usually). For my boiler, in the dead of the winter here in Canada (-35 degrees C), the boiler will turn on once every 45 minutes and stay on for 10 to 15 minutes to re-ignite the wood (this is the only time that smoke would ever come out the chimney if it wasn't a 'smokeless'/gassifier unit.), then close the dampers and the fire is put out, leaving only red hot wood embers/coals. You WILL, however, smell the wood... which most people think smells nice (think of a campfire on a cold night, or cuddling up to a fireplace with a hot chocolate). However, if you dont like the smell of a wood fire, then this will put you off. The pictures that others have posted above could be 1) People burning something that they're not supposed to be burning like garbage 2) burning green/wet wood - so you're seeing STEAM in those pictures 3) the first start up on the boiler (either of the year OR maybe they turned it off while they were away on vacation and re-fired it when they returned). As a home owner with a boiler for my heat source I can say that I envy those with natural gas. A boilers is a LOT of work, a LOT of maintenance, and takes a LOT of energy/time to cut, stack, and load the wood (not to mention the ash clean out every two days). BUT.. for us, its half the price of propane and 1/6 the price of electric heat....See MoreGave SD a little bit of her own medication
Comments (11)raek, I understand you sooooooooo much and I really,really know where you are coming from. You say : "I said something like...Thanks for giving us that time together, it really meant alot to me." I don't really want to spend to much time on this point because it has happened in the past,....but ......i still think (please don't take it personnaly) that it was a little bit mean to do that. I mean who cares if she allowed your father or not to go and visit you. That was between them. If anything, it should have been your father who thanked her for letting him do something alone not you. Disengage, disengage, disengage. It's not with her you want to make a new start. It's with your dad. You don't need to be disrespectful towards your father's wife however. Did you notice how I am using less and less the words "" your SM'' or ""my oldest SD'' ( i did in an early post this morning, but I'm doing it less and less. Even when i talk about her to whoever. I know say : my DH's oldest daughter. Perhaps you could always refer now to your SM as your dad's wife, spouse, partner, lover, whatever but not ''My SM''. It's a little way of disengaging that I read about on this Web site. It helps. I agree with you also on another point you made. Why would someone travel somewhere when the people they will see aren't his or her friends. DH's oldest daughter just moved back in our city but for a few years she lived five hours from us with her DH and two young kids. You would not believe the number of times DH has asked me to go with him and visit them, the number of times his oldest daughter has begged me to go and visit her, the number of times her then husband asked me to go and see their place!!! Every single time I said NO, i found an excuse...anything, i couldn't leave the dog alone for so many days, I didn't want to put him in a kennel cuz it was too expensive and I didn't want to have to put him through a five hour car drive, etc.etc. I swear to god this went on for about three years and all the time I kept telling Dear hubby why do you keep on insisting on this issue. I will not go visit your daughter. One day he did it again. I said ok you want to push it well here is my answer why I won't even bother a single minute to put myself throught such a trip. I said '' Remember the day your daughter got married. He said yes. I said do you remember how she celebrated everybody she loved and wanted near her on that day by offering them a beautiful corsage to wear. He said yes i remember that. Well, I said, was I amongnst these people. Did your daughter offer me a corsage considering I had been in her life for 14 years at that point? DH said no. So, i said. why in the world would I want to go in your daughter's house when on the most important day of her life she ignored me like you ignore a dog and she has never, never to this day thanked me for the money we (DH and I) gave them as a wedding day!!!!!!! Since then DH has never bothered me or asked me again to go to her house and i don't intend to ever go to the new place she will eventually have once she leaves her mom's place. Finally, raek you say : "I start to remember that he didn't really reach out to me a whole lot even when she wasn't in the picture, but my dislike for her and her's for me has driven an even bigger wedge between the 2 of us." It is so true. I too for a long time really disliked DH's oldest daughter. I blamed everything on her but now i know that DH is just as guilty. He always put her needs first to the detriment of our relationship but things are starting to change. When i see he acts likes this, i don't take it all out on his daughter anymore. I tell DH how i feel about his behaviour towards me and how it affects me or us as a couple. Example : he got a 500 dollar bonus from work. He gave it all to his daughter so she could buy a second hand car. I didn't mind that he gave her money but I didn't want him to give it all to her considering we had bills to play. But oh non. DH had to look good so he gave it all to her. Of course, she never thought i might have some right on that money or that I might deserved to be also told thank you considering her father and I have been together for 18 years and share everything. So you know what I did. For the first time in 18 years, i got a big cheque and I put every single penny of it in my banking account. In the past, when I got some extra money, i was the first one to pay our bills or whatever bill there was around, i would buy him clothes, pay fines, whatever. First thing i knew, i had no money left! DH is not really happy with what I did with this last cheque but ask me if i care!!!! So far out of that whole cheque I spent a big 35 $ on him for a pair of jeans!!!! Enough is enough. I spent over 600 $ on an operation for puppy, i spent a bit on me and i will use the rest to buy some patio furniture! So whenever he complains about this cheque, i remind him I didn't spend it all on me. He will enjoy the furniture and the dog is as much mine as his. So there you go! Next time he has extra money, perhaps he will think a little bit before giving it away and disregarding our/my needs.!!! I keep telling my friends or anybody I know who meets a man who has children and it doesn't matter how old the children are, to run away as fast as they can from that relationship or at least not to get emotionnaly involved with the kids and to keep a distance from the children for a long, long time before they all become buddy-buddy. Knowing what you know today, you must thank the Lord that you are not in that relationship with that man you met who had a child. My alcoholic father left my mother alone with four children. She raised us alone and we lived on welfare all our lives. At one point, my mom met a very nice man. In fact they went out together for 14 years. I really, really loved him. He didn't treat me like he was my father. He was always our friend. Everybody kept asking my mom she wasn't living with this man. She also said. these are my children and i will raised them on my own. I will not force them upon another person. I think my mom was very avant-gardist just like when she decided to register all her kids in an English school when we were living a totally french environment, didn't have english speaking friends, didn't have a cousin or uncle who spoke english, (not even my mom spoke English. She always said she did that so her children could have another culture, be independent and be able to travel. I love her! Sorry for such the long post. I don't know whats happening to me this morning but it sure feels good to be able to vent all my feelings like this. Thanks for reading me. Keep posting....See MoreNeed to vent due to lack of control over situation!
Comments (27)"I can understand how CP feels she has to bear the entire burden at tiems."(sic) If you are referring to a "financial" burden, my DH pays a large sum of child support each month, more than enough to cover ALL of their groceries, clothing, CDs/games, activities and misc. expenses, etc. As for care of the DSSs (in addition to BM's DD), BM is lucky enough to have her parents live next door. BM is out of town a lot either traveling with her DH or taking her DD to national dance competitions, so DSSs spend a lot of time with their GPs and are frequently dropped off at BMs parents on Sundays after visitation. BM works part-time during the school year only, so she is able to be home when the children come home from school and has summers and holidays off with them. I am happy that DSSs enjoy such a great situation. It is quite a stark contrast to my situation, since DH and I (both professionals) work about 50+ hours a week, have no family nearby, so our DSs are in daycare/afterschool care, and we arrive home at about 6:30 pm every night. "Maybe since she was fronting the money for the downpayment she thought that the amount of the downpayment should be up to her. Maybe it worked better with her medical FSA." BM did not advance DH's portion. It is due to the orthod. I am not aware of a "medical FSA." As I said, there is no insurance coverage for this. DH pays 100% of health and dental insurance for DSSs but there is no orthodontic coverage. "That's the advantage of being the NCP who merely has to reimburse the CP for medical expenses. The CP has to actually pay the doctor or the orthodontist at the time of service, and the other parent can take his sweet time about reimbursing her." LOL at this one. You've got it all wrong. The "advantage" here is to the CP who went out and chose whatever orthodontic care she wanted then stuck DH with the bill. TOS, your bias is showing. You have absolutely NO basis to say DH is taking his "sweet time" in paying his 60%. I said the up front money is to be paid "immediately," and I've said NOTHING to indicate it will not be paid immediately. As I said, we HAVE the money to pay it. You really have to work hard to have that type of wilful blindness to the real issues--the fact that BM unilaterally chose: 1) when the braces would be put on; 2) by whom they would be put on; 3) the amount that would be paid for them; and 4) the payment arrangements, all WITHOUT consulting the person who is responsible for 60% of the payments. TOS, if you hope to have any credibility, you have to recognize that there are times when BMs are just WRONG....See Morerubyclaire
2 years agorubyclaire
2 years agorubyclaire
2 years agorubyclaire
2 years agoZalco/bring back Sophie!
2 years agolast modified: 2 years agorubyclaire thanked Zalco/bring back Sophie!
Related Stories
BATHROOM DESIGN8 Tiny Bathrooms With Big Personalities
Small wonders are challenging to pull off in bathroom design, but these 8 complete baths do it with as much grace as practicality
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGNHouzz Call: What’s Cooking in Your Kitchen?
Most of us turn to recipes, videos and culinary shows when we cook. Where do you set your cookbook, tablet or TV screen?
Full StoryMOST POPULARWhy We Love Midcentury Modern Design
There's a method to all this 'Mad Men'-ness — just look to psychology, tough times and, believe it or not, Apple
Full StoryKITCHEN APPLIANCESDisappearing Range Hoods: A New Trend?
Concealed exhaust fans cut visual clutter in the kitchen
Full StoryMATERIALSInsulation Basics: What to Know About Spray Foam
Learn what exactly spray foam is, the pros and cons of using it and why you shouldn’t mess around with installation
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDESBathroom Workbook: How Much Does a Bathroom Remodel Cost?
Learn what features to expect for $3,000 to $100,000-plus, to help you plan your bathroom remodel
Full StoryMOST POPULARModern Party Etiquette for Hosts and Guests
Learn the mannerly way to handle invitations, gifts and even mishaps for a party that's memorable for the right reasons
Full StoryMOST POPULAR4 Obstacles to Decluttering — and How to Beat Them
Letting go can be hard, but it puts you more in control of your home's stuff and style. See if any of these notions are holding you back
Full StoryFUN HOUZZ14 Things You Need to Start Doing Now for Your Spouse’s Sake
You have no idea how annoying your habits at home can be. We’re here to tell you
Full StoryLIFEThe Polite House: On Dogs at House Parties and Working With Relatives
Emily Post’s great-great-granddaughter gives advice on having dogs at parties and handling a family member’s offer to help with projects
Full StorySponsored
MDLN