Has Marilyn c checked in lately?

5 years ago

I haven’t seen a post from Marilyn c recently. Just wondered if she and Jody are doing ok. The last I recall hearing from her she was having a rough time during the snowstorms. Hope all is better and maybe I have just missed something from her.

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marilyn_c

5 years ago

last modified: 5 years ago

Jody passed away on March 9 at 1:24 a.m. I had contacted Hospice about 9 days previous. They brought a hospital bed, 3 more 10 liter oxygen concentrators, other equipment and comfort meds.

A couple of days later, they wanted him admitted to the hospice wing of the hospital to assess his oxygen needs. He was there for 4 days and they sent him home, on a Thursday.

However, getting him from the ambulance, up the steps and settled into bed, was too much for him. The least little movement caused his oxygen to drop dangerously low. It dropped to the 60's and the EMT was trying to get it to at least 90. It went to the 80's for a few seconds and then back to the 60's. We already had 3 10 liter concentrators, so they hooked him to all 6, and still couldn't get him stable, so they put him back in the ambulance and took him back to the hospice wing of the hospital.

On the following Sunday, he said to me, "I am going to die tonight. It is too much trouble to try to keep living."

I really didn't think he was going to die that night, but I said to him that I needed to go home and feed Snoop and Emery, who were in the barn, and I would turn around and come right back. He said okay.

By the time I got to the Lufkin city limits, his nurse called and said he wants you back now. So I turned around and came right back.

His breathing was very loud and labored. It was hard to watch. He kept taking off his oxygen mask and nasal canula. I or the nurses kept putting them back.

About 12:30 he opened his eyes and looked at me. I think he wanted to see if I was sleeping. Again he took off the mask. The nurse came and tried to give him an IV morphine shot, but he was so dehydrated, they couldn't find a vein. I told them, it is okay. Let him go. It is his wish. Two nurses and I stayed with him, talking to him and holding his hand.

I realized when he said he was going to die, he was tired and ready to go. He couldn't eat or drink because the effort was too much for him.

Hospice was extremely kind to both of us. I am very grateful for their help and care.

I miss him very much....married 55 years and together 58, but I wouldn't wish for him to come back in the condition he was in. I know he is with me in spirit. Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.

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Comments (114)

bragu_DSM 5
5 years ago
strength and prayers
foggyj2
5 years ago
My condolences to you. It's a hard time to go through now. Take care of yourself.
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I wouldn't worry about it, altho I wouldn't let the bird stay out at night. Possums do carry a parasite sometimes that can cause problems with horses, but birds and other wildlife carry it also. I have horses and have never been concerned about it. The problem is when their food is contaminated. Seveal of my rehabber friends keep birds, and one is also has a refuge for rescued parrots. She rehabs possums, as well as raccoons and squirrels and I know it isn't a concern for her. She has 130 parrots. To discourage possums from his yard, he needs to make sure he leaves no food out for them. Possums are nomads and always on the go. They won't stay. Heck, I try to get them to stay here...along with my horses, cats, dogs, pigs, chickens, duck and other numerous wildlife....and they seldom stay, and that is with me giving them food every night and places to hide and sleep. There is something attracting the possums. It could be pet food left out, or the bird food, or even roaches, snails, mice, snakes. Possums are very primitive animals. Some people talk about them being stupid, but in reality, they just have other agendas, different from our own. I have had hundreds of them here, over the past 8 or so years, and they often surprise me because the things I have been told about them, aren't true. I have one non releasable that will attack you if you bother her...that, because she knows she is handicapped and she feels vulnerable, but if you have a treat for her, sugar wouldn't melt in her mouth. She is so sweet. They're just what they are. They are harmless and they are beneficial in that they are scavengers. If it was me, I wouldn't give it a second thought, but that is an expensive bird and I would make sure he was protected from many different things that could cause him harm.
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Could have been hand raised. Lots of raccoons that are hand raised don't make it in the wild. For one thing, they are usually released where there are already plenty of raccoons living, and they are chased away. No place for them to go, and always on the run. Some people start to raise a baby raccoon and find out how much trouble it is, or it bites them, and they take it out in the woods and let it go. They think because it is a wild animal, it will do okay, but they don't. It is like dumping out a puppy. They have no idea where to go or where to find food. Some rehabbers will release them where they can leave food out for them....that's called a "soft release". They need that while they try to make an adjustment. Raccoons stay with their siblings or sometimes close to their mothers for the first year of their life, so it is always best that they be released with another one that they have a bond with. I have a short tailed raccoon here too. I call him "Puff". I have been trying to get a picture of him, but can't tell him from the others unless he has his backside turned to me. All I know about him is that he is a member of the "gang" that arrive every evening about 6 and commandeers the cat food bowls...before moving on to the other food that I leave out for them. There was also a big armadillo here that was missing part of his tail, but I haven't seen him for quite awhile. One of the armadillos that I raised last year is still here every night tho. I don't know if it is Henry or Edsel, but it's one of them. He is working on re-landscaping my yard. I finally got the soil improved here by adding lots of mulch, and it is full of earthworms. It was rock hard clay when I started. It seems to be to his liking. I raised him on nightcrawlers that I had to buy by the dozen.
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Jasdip, we would never let the animals go hungry. The shelter in Galveston has continued to donate to me because I took in several of their unadoptable cats, and they have been very good to me. When we don't have food, we buy it. Actually, Mare, she dumped me. I am glad to be rid of her, but was strapped by the food issue. Now though, she has given her "permission" that my wildlife can have food. The donors never realized that 90% of the donated food went to me because my animals are all alive. Dead animals don't eat very much. Actually, she has taken to "farming" out most of the animals brought to her, so they are in better hands because most people who take them to raise, really want to do right by them. Oh, Lord! The pig situation!! I had Pig Sue...spayed, big pet. She was stolen but not before Pig Lee showed up....wild...and later, Pig Newton. Pig Lee was too wild to get spayed and by the time she was tame, too big. She and Newton had many children....I think we have sold about 40 of them so far. Her oldest daughter, Delores, and she had 11 pigs this spring. They are all big enough to go now and as much as I hate to see Pig Lee go, I can't keep having all these baby pigs. Pig Newt weighs about 600 lb. He is wild but he will take food from my hand. I don't try to pet him though, because he could be dangerous, especially if he got scared. The horses and donkeys and mule are fine........however, we may be welcoming a little mule foal in a few months. My donkeys were fighting, so had to separate them until we could get them gelded. Due to having to keep them in pastures that didn't adjoin, Amos went in with the mares. I didn't worry too much about him breeding the mares, until I saw him breed "my mare"....Mariah. I am not 100% sure she settled, but I have been watching her carefully.....and from what I know about such things, I think so. I could have her checked by the vet, but I will know soon enough. I wouldn't care if one of the other mares had a mule foal, but if it happens, it will probably be Mariah. Here is a picture of Pig Newton.
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Our ghost followed us here. I knew he would. I call it the poltergeist but it isn't like a true poltergeist...I don't think. Activity increased before we left, and has been active here. Before you think I have been out in the sun too long...here are a couple of examples. My husband bought a new saw blade for his skilsaw. Couldn't find it. We all looked everywhere. Showed up the next day in the front seat of the truck. In plain sight. The company I had, got ready to go. Couldn't find her glasses. She said she looked in her purse several times. Told me to look. Not much in her purse, so I took out her wallet, lighter, cigarettes, chap stick. Put it all back in. She called when she got home...glasses in her purse. Right on top. I collect marbles and someone gave me a pretty bottle to put marbles in. It had a slip of paper in it and I fished it out...with a little difficulty because it is a decanter. Narrow neck. Fed horses, was going to wash the bottle. Paper was back in there. Took it out again....hope it stays out this time. My mother always told me....no such thing as ghosts. Okay. I can go along with that, but odd things happen that I have no explanation for. Home alone this morning. Jody has gone to see someone about a dog fence.
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Cherryfizz
5 years ago
Marilyn, I am truly sorry for the loss of your beloved Jodie.
whistle_b
5 years ago
I am so sorry to hear this. When you think of him, I know you will smile.
mojomom
5 years ago
I am so very sorry, Marilyn. Please take care of yourself and come back when you can.
bpath
5 years ago
Marilyn, I’m so sorry for your loss. ((((( Hugs )))))
lkgrace345
5 years ago
My condolences to you and daughter, Marilyn. May you find comfort in your memories of Jody and your life together.
littlebug zone 5 Missouri
5 years ago
I only lurk at The Table these days, but I want to express my condolences to you, Marilyn. God bless.
rob333 (zone 7b)
5 years ago
((((Marilyn)))
Ont_Gal
5 years ago
As always, still thinking about this past couple of months for you & Jody....

(((((Hugs, Marilyn)))))
bob_cville
5 years ago
I couldn't read the last of your post or most of the responses here because my eyes were blurry from tears. I'm so sorry to read this and am sending you >hugs<
yeonassky
5 years ago
((((((Marilyn)))))). I'm so sorry for your loss. So very glad you were treated right at hospice.
Elizabeth
5 years ago
I am so very sorry, Marilyn. Please take care of yourself and come back when you can.
User
5 years ago
I don't have words for something like this. I am so very sorry Marilyn.
maire_cate
5 years ago
I am so sorry that you are going through this, it is such a difficult time. Just know that we are all thinking of you.
Ninapearl
5 years ago
i'm so very sorry, marilyn. having experienced this loss myself, i know how raw the grief is. sending gentle hugs to comfort you.
Lukki Irish
5 years ago
I’m so sorry for your loss, you and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers.
Ded tired
5 years ago
Marilyn, my heart is aching for you. Sending love.
jim_1 (Zone 5B)
5 years ago
Having read Marilyn's post. I got choked up a bit. It's an age thing I think, in that I was born in the same year as her husband.

I walked into the other room to relate the situation to the missus, a retired nurse practitioner. I had a difficult time getting all the words out. I sat there on my hands, so that I wouldn't gesticulate too much. She looked at me for a few moments and went back to her TV show. It gets to be so difficult at a certain age to confront death.

I have a 42-year-old son who has been in a hospital bed since January 14. Blastomycosis is the official diagnosis. His chances of full recovery are less than 50-50! So, I see Marilyn's situation and hope that mine is not as bad. But I cannot bet on that.

If you read this Marilyn, I feel for you. I know what pains have been in your life. I admire you for the life you live (here on the Kitchen Table). Be strong.
Yayagal
5 years ago
My heartfelt prayers for you and your family. God bless all of you.
gadgets
5 years ago
Marilyn, I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray that you find the peace you need.

Jim, I pray also for your son.
caflowerluver
5 years ago
So sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something to help ease your pain.
janey_alabama
5 years ago
I am so sorry to hear this. Sending comforting prayers your way.

Jim, sending healing prayers for your son.
Rusty again
5 years ago
(((((Marilyn))))) So sorry for your loss, may God give you and yours the strength and comfort you need.

Rusty
graywings123
5 years ago
My deepest condolences go out to you, Marilyn.

Jim, I pray for your son.
lgmd_gaz
5 years ago
Marilyn, so very sad for you. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling. My prayers go out for you that you feel the love and comfort that is being sent your way by so many here.
rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
5 years ago
Dear Marilyn, please accept my deep sympathy for you during this time. You are much loved by many of us here; I hope that we can offer comfort.
1929Spanish-GW
5 years ago
Sending love and good thoughts your way.
woodrose77
5 years ago
Marilyn, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Those of us who have lost our spouses know and feel your pain. Sending you love and hugs. Praying, and hoping you will find comfort in the good memories of all your years together.
sjerin
5 years ago
Oh Marilyn, I had a feeling things weren't well when we didn't see you post for so long. I'm so very sorry that you had to let Jody go, and pray for you both. I feel worried for you, on your own now. I'm glad you feel his spirit with you and hope you take some consolation in his peace.
OutsidePlaying thanked sjerin
joyfulguy
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
As many have said, Marilyn, our hearts are hurting for you at this painful time.

As you reported Jody to have said, there comes a time in one's journey through not only one's own pain, with almost nil hope of anything but minimal improvement, added to the suffering of one's loved ones, that about the only reasonable course is to have one's physical being take leave of this life, and that that is the course that one needs to choose.

I'm fairly sure that both your mind and heart support that decision, painful though it was.

Let his spirit support you and loved ones and friends as you journey through this dreadful valley.

I send good thoughts to help in your support and offer some prayers on your behalf.

(((((Marilyn)))))

(((((others who love Jody))))))

ETA: My heart hurts for your family's pain, as well, Jim.

I send good thoughts and hope that things work in the best possible way for your son, and offer prayers for your family.

(((((Jim, son and family)))))

ole joyful
sealavender
5 years ago
So sorry, Marilyn.
anneliese32
5 years ago
My deepest sympathy and prayers for you and your family.
Dolly
5 years ago
So very sorry to read of Jody's passing.
raee_gw zone 5b-6a Ohio
5 years ago
My condolences, Marilyn. I feel sure that you will often feel Jody's loving spirit with you - I know that I did, after the deaths of my father and even my ex-husband. I hope that that comforts you.
chisue
5 years ago
Dear KT Friend -- What a lucky man Jody was to have had *you* beside him all these years. What a wrenching absence he's left. Deepest sympathy to you and the dear daughter you shared.

Come talk to us when you feel like it. You know, sorrow shared being a little lighter, and all that.
matti5
5 years ago
Marilyn, I am so very sorry to hear of Jody's passing, my condolences to you and your daughter. Hugs!
Lindsey_CA
5 years ago
Marilyn, I am so sorry. 💔
Marilyn Sue
5 years ago
Hugs and prayers Marilyn, I am so sorry.

Sue
shecar2
5 years ago
Prayers to you, Marilyn. You were always so strong taking care of Jody. Now, please take care of yourself too! When you are able, I hope you will log on to the KT and let us know how you are doing.
ritamay91710
5 years ago
Marilyn, I'm so sorry. I believe you'll see each other again one day.
Sammy
5 years ago
Dear Marilyn,

I am so sorry for your loss.

Love,

Sammy xoxo
donna_loomis
5 years ago
Oh, Marilyn, mere words cannot express the sadness I feel at your loss. Your relationship with Jody was a truly special one. My sincere condolences to you.
lisa_fla
5 years ago
I can’t help thinking about how he always had your back no matter what-taking in downtrodden animals of all sorts- he didn’t seem to bat an eye, risking his life in the flood, buying/building/ moving your last house,, the move to TX-so many trips back and forth, and moving those huge cement troughs!!! Whatever needed to be done, he did it, as long as he could. He was a true partner. He will Rest In Peace knowing he got you settled in your dream place. I’m glad he lived long enough to see that.
kathyg_in_mi
5 years ago
Hospice is a blessing. You made the right call to let him go. Life is not easy, but we are all thinking of you and praying for you.

Jim_1 Praying your son comes thru this.
pudgeder
5 years ago
I'm sorry to hear this news, but know he is at peace.

May you find comfort, Marilyn.
katlan
5 years ago
Marilyn, I am very sorry you lost Jody. 55 years married, what a testament to love and devotion. You have my prayers for comfort. God bless his soul.
OutsidePlaying
Original Author
5 years ago
Jim, I am very to sorry to hear about your son and his prognosis.

Since I started this thread, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has has written such kind, caring words of comfort here for our friend Marilyn and also for Jim. We never know sometimes how much one might be suffering or are in a pain we cannot imagine, and it really helps to know there are so many who care and are here to listen.
amicus
5 years ago
I'm so very sorry to hear that Marilyn's dear husband Jodi, has passed away. I hope she will rejoin us here, when she is feeling up to it. Jim, sending wishes that your son will receive a treatment for his condition that will allow him a complete recovery!
maire_cate
5 years ago
Jim. I am truly sorry to learn about your son. My eldest son is the same age and I can only imagine the sorrow and pain that you and your wife are feeling. It is such a difficult time and I can only offer words of support and caring.

Has Marilyn c checked in lately?

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