Here is the flooring we like throughout the area we are putting them

Can you lay your floor samples next to your lower cabinets and take pics in good lighting?

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about changing the backsplash if you're not changing the countertops too. It's not great but it's not awful and once you start tearing stuff out, anything could happen. Since your countertops are thin, not solid stone, what is the plan if they are damaged when you remove the backsplash?

How much was the price to paint the cabinets? I think they look ok for the most part, but it's hard to tell if they have damage or what they're made of.

Honestly, I would get rid of the cool gray wall paint and go with something warmer, that worked with the new floors and the rest of the house. And that's because you don't seem to like the gray.

Then I'd get a stain marker and touch up the wear on the cabinets.

Then I would look into recreational chocolate (or wine if you prefer) and chill out. Your kitchen is fine.

This is not your forever home. You will probably not recoup your investment in the kitchen, and the new owner isn't going to like it anyway. Your home's next owner will come on Houzz and ask how we would upgrade this kitchen that I bought from Sandy. She'll do this whether you do nothing now, or if you completely blow up the kitchen and start over.

With all that said, though, it is fine to move forward if you are doing this project for you. Not for resale or to please someone who has commented on it. For you! But I still might be tempted to spend that kind of money on my recreational chocolate or wine!

I'd choose your first option for the flooring. You want the more neutral tones and less variation since it's going throughout your home. Your cabinets look like maple. Don't do anything to them until your floors are installed. I think they can work with the new flooring. You can clean and condition them, and add knobs. If it was my kitchen I would change the countertops to a light colored solid quartz, with the same on the backsplash, or a simple matching light tile backsplash. Spending money to paint the cabinets when you would still have tiles on the countertop and an outdated backsplash doesn't make sense. For the wall color, think about the colors you want to use in adjacent rooms. Your carpet sample is gray - are you planning to stick to the cool tones and does that work with your furniture? You can decide on the wall color after you've made the other changes, but you want the right tone for the carpet when you change your flooring.

Few questions
You have hardwoods now??
Why replace?
They look great!! Sand and restain. Chaching!!
I’d also say no gray. The cabinets are nice. But I hear why you’d want to paint them. I would too. Maybe paint the uppers? What about a blue?
What’s your style?

crcollins1_gw I will take those pictures up against the cabinet. The problem with the island is we had a dog that used the edge for a separation anxiety fix until we fixed his separation anxiety. Great thought about back splash and counter and damage. Some of the doors have water damage from finish coming off. The cost to paint is from 5000 to 8000. We were told by the people looking at doing the cabinets that the doors are maple.

kempek01 The house was done in warm colors until the last couple months when I have started liking cooler colors. Not sure what the change was in me maybe to brighten things up a bit or midlife wall paint change. I'm not good with colors and I wanted more of a gray however this gray is more of a blue it is SW reflection. I think it also makes the cabinets look more orange. Someone suggested SW agreeable gray or one that has warmer tones. I love to paint it actually relaxes me, picking out colors not so much. We are painting our ceilings white as they still have the builder paint.

I read your comment to my husband and he asked how much chocolate I need. Thank you for a much needed laugh and to help with the anxiety of all these choices. Again I stink at putting everything together.

I should have said that the island cabinet was used as a separation anxiety relief toy for our dog so that does need to get fixed.

You are correct on the next owner thank you again for the laugh. I am torn between doing something for me for the next five years or saving for my forever home.

calidesign We have mainly warm tones throughout the house. I had a change inside me that needed to go to cooler tones, however I have realized after painting the gray that in order to go that way I would need to do a ton of changes I don't want to do. We do have a warmer carpet sample that we will put in now that I have seen my huge mistake.

I have tried to get the countertops changed my husband is against that however he might soften. He does not want to do both cabinets and counters. We do have to fix the island from some dog chewing issues that are not longer a problem.

I was changing all the room colors to the cooler colors however the kitchen is in middle of the rooms and I realize now I can't do both. I'll have to go back at looking at warmer colors.

HU-187528210 We do have hardwoods now. We have had both priced out and the cost of doing both is the same with one exception. In order to redo our hardwoods we would have to move out of the house for about 10 days. We have 3 dogs, one cat and a bird that would have to go with us. We have a place the bird could go to but the rest of us would have to go to a hotel. The added cost and hassle of doing that would really add on top of all of this.

We have put multiple samples of blue against our counters and non of them look good at all. My husband wanted a dark blue on the island. I would love to change the color the orange that they look really drives me to the chocolate that kempek01 was talking about :)

My style would be lighter counters, no orange cabinets.......

calidesign I agree with wiping down that has been one of my reasons for not liking the counters. It's the orange cabinets that also drive me crazy however maybe new countertop, backsplash and paint would tone that down. Then the biggest hurdle would be wood floors to match cabinets. Wow once you get started it really is a domino effect. I do have pictures of the floors we like throughout the house they look very different not against the cupboards. The cupboards look more like the bottom half of the door and the trim piece

Your counters have a slight gray cast to them. Maybe its just my monitor but I think they have a gray tint and might look nice with painted white cabs. Another option, Have you thought about doing a gel stain to make the cabinets darker? I do think painting them white will definitely lighten up the space and you may be able to start creating the cool toned space you desire. But you can also do that by staining the cabs a darker stain. Just an idea to explore.

Something like this...

Just Measuring up Blog : Gel Stain

Before and After Gel Stain

DC Row Home Kitchen - Beverage Center · More Info

If you do paint your cabinets white your counters would still look pretty like this image below.

Transitioning to a Contemporary Kitchen Makeover with Cabinet Refacing · More Info

gray lowers

Custom Kitchen Remodel, Buda, TX · More Info

The floor samples look much darker in the new photos. The maple cabinets aren't orange, and if you can find a lighter floor option that blends better with the maple it will also minimize that effect. Try some more neutral natural floor stain options next to the cabinets. You can take a drawer with you to the store to narrow down options before bringing them home.