"Thinking of You" Gift for Mom-to-be that I don't know well
5 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (28)
- 5 years agolast modified: 5 years ago
Related Discussions
What do you do with gifts (decorative) you don't like?
Comments (34)My mother is one of those people who loves to give gifts, but unfortunately, has no sense of what the other person likes. She orders junk out cheap catalogs, re-gifts (for instance, a make-up case where an eyeshadow or two was used), or wraps up prizes she won at bridge tournaments (keychains or BBQ tools marked "Delta Dealin' Regionals"). She is well-to-do, (maybe because she doesn't spend much on presents? ha) so she's not giving inexpensive items out of necessity. She just doesn't get it. Christmas is tricky--but my family chuckles. (My husband got a Humane Society calendar this year, the one they send for free if you've donated. He also received a plastic Thomas Kincaid corkboard/keyholder thing in a busted box that he immediately took to a "Dirty Santa" party.) But then I am left with boxes saying "As Seen on TV!," useless kitchen gadgets, hideous plastic decorative items and heavy sense of guilt for wanting to get rid of it all. "Gosh, it may not be much, but she chose it with love and wrapped it with me in mind. I can't just put it in a yard sale." I was wringing my hands over my quandary, as my closets slowly filled with unwanted items ("but my MOTHER gave me this!"), when a wise friend had a talk with me. She reminded me that when a gift is given to me, it is now mine to do whatever I like with it. It is not Mom's, with strings attached or say-so about what should be done with it. It is MINE. I own it and I have the authority to decide where it goes. And it is perfectly okay if I think it should be donated to Goodwill and be enjoyed by someone else who might love it and think they found a treasure, instead of sitting unopened and disliked in my closet. So I no longer feel bad about "recycling" her unwanted presents. The only time I've ever spoken to her about the issue was when I had to gently ask her not to give me clothes anymore, since her taste was so different than mine. Now I thank her And sometimes she does hit the mark and I am delighted by her gift. You cannot control someone else's desire to spend money on your presents. They enjoy shopping for you and they like thinking they found the ideal gift, even if it's expensive. Of course, if you don't like it, it makes you feel bad that they invested in it, but every so often you might get something you want and then the cost doesn't bother you, right? I think you're being very gracious about trying to decorate with this item to spare your mother's feelings. But it's not up to her what you do with it, because she transferred ownership when she gave it to you....See MoreI don't know why I can't love my stepson
Comments (13)"his ex hates my husband she is not sad they they are not together. She likes to cause trouble though." I didn't mean that she is pining away for him, but you said, "My husband was fooling around with the mother of his other child for years on top of everything to start off. I stayed with my husband because I believe in love and 2nd chances." & I thought you are saying that he was fooling around with the mother of this 8 year old & if he was doing that while he was seeing you, then yes this child saw his parents 'together' at least in some way, unless they were so sly that they hid it from their own child. And even if the mother hates him & is not sad, that does not mean she does not let her son know how angry she is (anger is also a feeling that is much easier to express than hurt, so who knows if she truly hates him or is hurt he finally ended it with her and married you) but I'm sure the child picks up on those feelings because children are little sponges & know more than most people give them credit for. If mommy is angry all the time at daddy, of course it's going to affect how he feels about daddy's house & the new wife, baby, etc. "I think that it's good to be proactive and encourage my stepson to be nice to my son. I don't try to force it upon him. To me to encourage him to love his brother should be a good thing. I agree that yes he is eight and may be frustrated which is understandable. I just don't think that it should be ok that he takes it out on my 2 year old son. If their our any mothers out there you know how you are protective over your children no matter who it might be. If it was my neice , my friend son. I would not stand them to be nasty to my children." If you want to protect your 2 year old, then never allow the 8 year old to be alone with him. It's THAT simple. If dad refuses to acknowledge the problem, then it rests with YOU to protect the baby & make sure he's always in your sight when big brother is around. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a happy little family, but if he (the 8 year old) does not want that, it is going to backfire to force it. I believe he does know right from wrong & he has anger, resentment issues... maybe from how his mother expresses, directly or inadvertently. He is manipulative if he changes face when dad comes around the corner & I agree with Sylvia that is a dangerous child that does that. (reminiscent of "the good son") Lovehadley has a great point that leaving is probably not the best idea since the child only comes over every other weekend and leaving could place the younger child in jeopardy when he would visit. The bottom line is that unless mom & dad are willing to work together to find out why their son is so aggressive & deal with it, then the only solution is to never allow your baby to alone with him. Yes, he was part of the package as you & your kids were part of a package, but YOU and your DH accepted each other's package... the kids don't get a choice. He didn't choose the package so how can you expect him to accept you as you've accepted him. You are the adult....See MoreLacking a bonus, I don't like gift cards/certificates
Comments (16)Giftcards have their usefullness. I've heard of inactivity fees, but never experienced it first hand. I give a few giftcards a year. I give them for consumables (coffee shop, restaurant), because I obviously cannot give the teacher 4 cups of coffee for a gift. But I can treat her to 4 cups of coffee at her convenience with a giftcard, if I know she drinks coffee. If not, another place. And you can add my name to Jodi's wishlist. Give me a Barnes & Noble (any bookstore, that's just closest to my house) gift card, and I'll be a very happy girl! When someone gives me one of those, I know they know what I want. Forget the diamonds, books are this girl's best friend- but it's hard to buy a book for someone else, it's best to let them pick it. And I have a B&N discount card, so I will get more than face value of the card, by up to 40%....See MoreWeek: I don't even know anymore!!!
Comments (14)I love your strawberry wall! What did you use to hold up the pots? The round metal bits, what are they? I'd love to do something like this but I'm afraid the only place I could put them would be hit by the basketball all the time. Maybe I could tuck them in a corner by house. I have stuff I don't need because I'm too lazy to go through it. LOL Actually, I want to scan a bunch of the kids artwork and projects, and that is a time consuming rainy day task. I guess I could have worked on it throughout the winter. I got rid of a bunch of stuff when I did the kitchen, but I need to get the lights fixed in the basement to do anything down there. I need a nice sunny day for that, since I'll have to shut off the breaker and there's not much natural light. I'm kind of afraid to take down the fluorescent thing but it doesn't work anyway, and I might get lucky and find a junction box up there under all the fluorescent stuff. Texas, I'm glad you're making progress. OldBat, your greenhouse looks great. Your plants are really coming along. Schicksal, I have doilies my Gramma made. I don't really use them, but I won't throw them out....See More- 5 years ago
- 5 years ago
- 5 years ago
- 5 years ago
- 5 years ago
- 5 years ago
Related Stories

FUN HOUZZEverything I Need to Know About Decorating I Learned from Downton Abbey
Mind your manors with these 10 decorating tips from the PBS series, returning on January 5
Full Story
DECORATING GUIDES15 Well-Designed Father's Day Gifts
Snag a Few Gift Ideas for Dad from Some of Our Favorite Designers
Full Story
GARDENING GUIDESA Mom, a Garden and a Gift for the Neighbors
Gardening can be therapeutic in unexpected ways. See how one gardener found peace and purpose in a patch of Florida soil
Full Story
PRODUCT PICKSGuest Picks: Gifts for Moms, Dads and Grads
And newlyweds too. Stock up with these design-friendly presents for the second biggest gift-giving season of the year
Full Story0

ARCHITECTUREThink Like an Architect: Know Your Homesite for a Great Design
Learn how to approach a building site the way professionals do — considering everything in sight
Full Story
MORE ROOMSRooms I'd Like to See Wrapped Up as Gifts for the Holidays!
What Room Do You Have on Your Gift List This Year?
Full Story
LIFEThe Polite House: Do I Have to Display Decor Given to Me as a Gift?
Etiquette columnist Lizzie Post tackles the challenge of accepting and displaying home decor gifts from frequent visitors
Full Story
MOTHER’S DAYStyle Sense and Spatulas: The At-Home Gifts You Got From Mom
The woman who gave you life gave you heirlooms and original artwork too. We’re celebrating it all for Mother’s Day
Full Story
CONTEMPORARY HOMESA Home for 3 Generations — at a Place They Know Well
A father rebuilds on the site of his childhood home to accommodate family and make the most of waterfront views
Full Story
LIFEGet the Family to Pitch In: A Mom’s Advice on Chores
Foster teamwork and a sense of ownership about housekeeping to lighten your load and even boost togetherness
Full Story
maddielee