Agree with those above. I'm 31, and I can tell you I wasn't interested in 23 year old men as partners when I was 26, let alone 2 years ago at 29. No offense, but men that age have not sown enough wild oats for me! Things change after 25, and again after 30. Any girl who would play this game with you while being engaged would play it with someone else while you were with her. Ask yourself if you want to be in the shoes of her poor (future?) husband. "she said she felt bad she did it because she loves her bf and was probably going to get engaged sometime soon, but she said she didn't regret it. " Wow. Now that's integrity. You say friendship is the only option? I don't think I'd want to be her friend either. Who has friends like that? 'oh, I love my boyfriend, but I'm going to flirt with my younger co-worker and then put myself in a compromising situation with him and possibly expose myself and my boyfriend (soon-to-be-fiancee) to diseases and I don't regret it one bit' *flashes dimples, lifts one pretty high - heeled foot off the ground and winks* yeah. sounds like a great girl to me!

I think it's unproductive (not to mention rather sick) to envision the relationship between father and daughter as in any way akin to a relationship between he and "another woman", or even to think in terms of who is "top" or "bottom" on any totem pole. Those things simply are not comparable. I can understand that an SP ---because of their position as the romantic partner of the parent in question--- may tend to view anything or anyone that interferes or comes between or undermines as just as threatening to their partnership as a competing romantic interest. But to really BUY INTO that idea twists and distorts some of these quite common childhood behavioral, disciplinary and yes, expected jealousy issues (on both sides) into something that they're not, something much more sick and intense. And it's simply not the way either the parent or child in question experiences their relationship UNLESS the parent is sexually abusing their child (and sometimes if the child has been sexually abused by someone else). Sadly, that sometimes happens, but unless there is any evidence to believe that, you can be reasonably assured that natural incest taboos tend to prevent parent and child from having or wanting the sort of parallel "partnership" you may think you perceive. It's simply not a competition of that sort. It may be a competition for time and attention and importance, but it's not of the same kind as a romantic love triangle. I believe that this tendency of adults to impose adult desires on children (and other adults) is the reason why some of these common everyday child-rearing problems become so blown out of proportion, and many times so deeply bitter and even unresolvable, especially in blended families. So I say definitely address the basic discipline, manners and expectations issues fully and firmly. Because that's what they are. SD, like all of us, needs to learn how to get by in the world and that means learning some basic manners and rules. She also likely has adjustment issues and probably has resentment for having to share her time with her father, especially after living through the divorce of her parents. That in no way automatically implies that SD wishes to be her father's "partner" or even that she wishes to be "top" on the totem pole, so don't let a presumption of such an attitude on her part lead to a distorted version of that same attitude on your part. SD is likely acting like she wants to be the "top" or "only" person in her Dad's life as an overcompensation from fear (based on divorce) that she will have NO place in his life. This is expected and common, as is some of the acting out. She needs to have it drilled in her head that she is just AS important in his life as ever, and that she is no LESS nor MORE important than you are. Hence she will get nowhere by thinking in terms of "top"/"bottom", who "stays" or who "goes", and neither will you. Don't let yourself be tempted to view it as a competition with sicker overtones than really exist. SD has her specific needs regarding her father, and you have your specific needs regarding the same man, but they are not the same issues. Thus there need not be any automatically adversarial relationship between you and SD. That is key to understanding how to resolve issues in any family, especially blended families. As long as any one person perceives a directly adversarial relationship, it will always imply that a "win" for one is a "loss" for another, and that there is a "top" and a "bottom". That means that there will never be a time when all parties are happy; hence there will always be conflict. When you realize that there's no inherent adversarial relationship and that everyone's needs can be met because they're *different* needs, it eliminates conflict. Just keep reminding yourself and SD are NOT fighting for the exact same things. Her behavior is only a direct threat to you if you perceive and allow it to be.

Yes, I did briefly (and now even more) worry about overspending on one. At my local S.A tree they have sibling tree cards together. My gal Natie was not a combo. So, Tina, should I just not give the wish list part (camera or skates) but give the rest to my girl? Not give poor little Natie these very cool skates? Boo hoo. Really though, I have spent enough. Or, should I take what I have to the gift Tree volunteers, show them what I've got and ask if it should be split? Edited to add: strangely there were mostly boys left on my local angel tree. I'm wondering if it's because their wish list had some expensive things on it. Not much under $140. I know this because my squeaky butt husband was standing at the tree looking stuff up on his phone and then being embarrassingly loud about it. Or, maybe people just prefer to buy for girls? I did ask the volunteers about the many boys on the tree and she did say that every year they have all been taken up by givers. I'm thinking with all the money in my area of Florida combined with the large percent of snowbird wealthy retired people that angel tree kids around here tend to get overspent on. I do think it's a bit more normal. My husband along with others does a toy drive every year and just off that one place three large truck loads of toys will go out. There are hundreds maybe thousands of such toy drives in my county. Mtn, I have always in the past just given money to different causes at Christmas. This is my first time actually getting a kid, a kid with a name and sizes and wants. It's so very addicting!!! In fact it's even more than that as I'm an empty nester. I don't have any kids to buy for and that bites.

This gift would be dependent upon your relationship with the child and how much you are willing to spend.. This would be great for a family member. I would recommend an American Girl Doll. My daughter and several of her friends each had one and LOVED them. My daughter got her first one a 6 years old and played with it for three years. They are expensive. If she already a doll, the AG books are good too. I donated dd's to her 5th grade class because she was done with them. They stayed checked out. Does she still use crayons? The big box with tons of colors were the envy of my kid's classmates. My dd loved the art books for painting and drawing. She filled up several of them. What about getting her a scrapbook and pens and paper? Or a nice journal and some pretty pens?