If they are near a Costco they use Instacart and will deliver quickly a lot of their ready made items such as salads,rotisserie chicken, soups,chicken salad and even their great bakery goods etc. Or use shipt or instacart from their local grocer. Even While foods delivers as well.

I just did this recently for the same reason. I placed the order at 11:00 and it was on the porch by 3:00

I’m not Jewish, but this is something I always follow. I guess I’m of the mind that if there is nothing else I can do, the family needs fed. The yard needs mowed, groceries are needed, errands need run, etc. I remember when my FIL passed away, a friend came and washed my MILs car before the funeral procession. Can you find out restaurants in the area that would deliver?

https://www.spoonfulofcomfort.com/ is my new favorite site for this sort of thing. I love the way it is packaged. I tried the chicken noodle soup and found it sort of bland but with huge chunks of chicken breast and carrots. The accompanying rolls and cookies were delicious.

I also sent soup from Spoonful of Comfort recently, and my friends enjoyed it. I am so sorry for all of these losses, Pink. Thinking of you and your friends.

My condolences IPink.

Is there a kosher deli nearby that could deliver chicken soup, some appetizers and a deli meat tray and cookie tray?

If they are not kosher then of course any deli near them can possibly send over food.

Good idea eld. I thought about a deli. I also thought of Panera (chain) because you could send bagels, pasteries, soups and they have pasta salad, tossed salads, etc. There is a variety of items that would require very little preparation on the part of the family. I am so sorry about your friend(s). We are waiting today to hear news from a good friend - his father has covid and pneumonia and is on a respirator. Our friend and family went to be with his mother for a few days (they are about 3 hours away). My friend's dad was holding his own. Friend got home yesterday and within two hours had headed back to be with his mother. Dad had taken a turn for the worse. Another friend from our church (we have known for 20+ years) is also on a respirator. Seems to be holding his own. Will be so glad when we can be vaccinated!!

Prayers going out from here everyday for so many who are grieving and hoping for survival. I will add your friends to the list TinaMarie!

I just realized I have Jewish friends in the area who are also foodies, maybe they can recommend a good local source that delivers. Thanks for all the GREAT ideas.

We were able to attend the graveside service "virtually" today, which was sad and difficult, but also sort of a blessing that we do have some technology available to assist us during these troubled times. Particularly for my dad, who was the same age as the deceased and would most likely not been up for the long trip in winter even if it had been possible.

My friend was one of my heroes. She grew up in a small town in Hungary, surrounded by a loving extended family including grandparents and uncles, aunts and cousins. Then the Holocaust hit, and her father was taken away immediately and she never saw him again. She lost most of the rest of her family right off the bat too. She and her mother managed to survive being shuttled between various concentration camps including Auschwitz and Buchenwald. She and her mother lied and said they were sisters. They were saved by being able to work in munitions plants, etc. Some "Schindler's List" type angels did what was possible to keep them alive. After the War they were happy to chain migrate and join family already in the US. She was able to finish school after all those horrors and disruptions by being allowed to attend the local Catholic school and was even allowed to take tea with some of the nuns during catechism out of respect for her Jewish faith. After high school she married the love of her life, and had two kids and raised a family, and that's how I came to know her, she and her husband were best friends of my parents. The family had to move a lot due to the husband's work, so after many happy years in our small town, they had to leave. Shortly after he suffered a major heart attack, pre bypass days, and later died of another one at age 44. More loss. Eventually our friend remarried, a fellow widower, and then had to go through losing another husband, this time to Parkinsons. At the end of her life, she was losing her ability to function due to memory troubles, and then ended up in a virtual prison (although no one wanted it to be, least of all the folks running the memory care facility) just like she started out.

How could a woman who had lost so much, such a loser, be my hero?? Because through it all, she persisted, she never lost her joie de vive. She relished giving and sharing love, whenever the opportunity presented itself. She was a nurturing people person, to the end. To know her was to love her. And during her time on earth, she appreciated and relished her friends, extended family of relatives, and children and grandchildren and this summer was able to welcome her first great grandson. And now, if there is cosmic justice, she's being carried in the arms of the angels, back to God from which she came, and back with all those she lost, reunited in love. This is our prayer, this is our hope.

Pink, My deepest sympathies. Sometimes, it feels like sorrow is all around us. You shared a story of a woman who had every right to be sad, angry, and disconnected from others. Instead, she was a loving and giving human being. Thank you for reminding us that what is awful now will not be forever. May you and her loved ones find peace in the memory of your friend.

Beautiful, Pink. Be sure to summarize those lovely thoughts in a card to your friend's loved ones.

Piink, your love and admiration for this remarkable woman is palpable. I hurt for your loss of such a loving inspiration in your life. Wishing you peace.

Thanks for sharing that story. Please don’t just write a card, send That whole story.

I have sent gifts from Russ and daughters? Out of New York City?. Also more generally have you looked at gold belly?

That’s a very big loss, pink. Glad you had such a magnificent person to enrich your life.

Pink, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. As others have said, you have written such a beautiful tribute, you should send the written words to the family.

Thinking of you and others who have suffered unimaginable losses lately.

What a pillar of strength and endurance! May you find peace Pink.

Truly a remarkable woman.

We're going to have a memorial Zoom in January. But really, what I wrote was just a paraphrase of what the rabbi said at her graveside service. Her memorial pretty much wrote itself, no struggling for a theme or a way to spin it.

So I ended up calling another Jewish friend of mine that lives in the same area, describing what I wanted, and she said, "Oh of course, a shiva tray!" and she gave me the name of a good deli. I was able to look at their menu online and I sent a tray of mini sandwiches and some rugelach. They had full sized cakes but I wanted something light and easier to freeze leftovers. I envisioned an afternoon tea spread, because my mother and Ava shared many afternoon teas together. They had a dessert tray but it was rather large, elaborate and expensive so I went with the simpler assorted rugelach. A little cliche but that's the way the cookie crumbled . . .

Perfect. And now we know, “shiva tray.”

The deli referred to them as "Condolence Platters." Ecumenical! It was a bit of a tease what my friend said, since she grew up Presbyterian and in my small town, but met and married a nice Jewish boy later in life. Her last name was Jones but is now Weisberg, similar to my last name. I joked when invited to her wedding at age 40, "It's been a long time since I've been to a Jewish wedding, but I never imagined the next one would be yours!" All these years of decidedly un-ethnic existence in a town with decidedly no delis, and now we're tossing about Jewish phrases like a couple of pros . . . so it was a bit of an "in joke" for us.

Pink just to confirm it is called a Shiva Platter or Tray here in the Jewish delis. What you choose is perfect. I would share the memory of the many afternoon teas your mom had with your friend and what a kind and sweet person she was to you.

Yes the deli was a Jewish deli in a Jewish suburb of Detroit. I'm sure they know what a Shiva Tray, Platter or Basket is but their menu called them "Condolence Platters" because I am also sure that not all their customers are Jewish and Jews don't have a monopoly on sending food to people's houses, although it is mostly common in homes populated by mensches of various ilks . . .

What I sent wasn't a traditional shiva tray anyway. A traditional shiva tray would be a dairy assortment of mounded egg salad, tuna salad, and bagels with maybe some fruits and other embellishments depending on how elaborate you want to get like lox, whitefish, cottage cheese, etc. That would be to a kosher home. Otherwise, a cold cut assortment, and/or mazah ball soup. The tradition is to serve round things--eggs, bagels, fruits. muffins, rolls, rugelach, lentils. Renewal of life is the symbolism.

Having gone through this, I sent a small sandwich platter because they can be bagged up and sent with people who are traveling, and also frozen if leftovers. Same with the rugelach, easy to freeze anything left over. That's what we did with the leftovers from my Mom's funeral day.

Here's a great link describing traditional and not so traditional shiva food gifts. I stayed away from kugel and strudel because there would be simply no way the quality of a deli made version of either of those things could compete with the memory of the wonderful versions made by the deceased and enjoyed in her home. https://www.jta.org/2019/07/31/food/the-best-foods-to-bring-to-shiva

Well in a weird twist my friend's daughter called me and said the deli called about delivery and she had to refuse the food. They have too much food and not enough people to eat it due to having no guests during the pandemic. Sigh. So I guess this is a lesson for all about grieving during the pandemic. It was a small platter that i thought they could freeze, but even that was too much . . .

It's so odd because I just assumed her brother would be there, it never dawned on me that, duh, no he would not, he lives in CA so that kind of adds to the trauma, he wasn't able to get to see his mom in the last months of her life . . . . and few visits even possible for my friend's daughter even with her local family . . . sigh.

I'm sorry Pink. Every Shiva I have attended there is too much food. However, usually, there are many people who come and someone bags up food for most mourners to take home. I wonder if you have any pictures of your mom and your friend together. That would be a lovely gift in a very simple frame to offer the family. It doesn't matter if it is weeks latter.

Yeah it's a pretty sad state of affairs where Jews are turning away food because they have "too much" as if that could ever be imagined possible. Welcome to the "new normal." It was a relatively small offering a few days after the funeral so I thought it would be OK because of being spread out in time. But my friend said it was just her and her husband at the house all the time and they had more than they could use up. The tradition would be to have extra people at the house in usual times, but much much different now.

I don't think I'm breaking down too much privacy concerns at this point as they are both gone. Two great friends, two great Moms. Circa 2013. Mine is on the left. They are at a local coffee shop.

Pink I skimmed comments because the subject is still too raw for me as My Mom was killed last July by Politicians not taking Covid seriously enough. Not looking for pity but just want to share, lots of cards were sent to me but no food. The whole event was so abnormal--only person at funeral was the Rabbi, Shiva was Zoomed so we had family and freinds 'attending' from all over the US. Having extra food--or even one meal I didn't have to cook myself never happened. Perhaps you want to send something different like Wolfermans that sends English Muffins with jams. I'm not sure if they have Kosher products. Sending food later makes more sense once the trays are gone. Thats a lovely photo and should be treasured by all.