Except when games were scheduled at the same time, the kids' soccer matches on Saturday were family events. Our youngest seemed to really fixate on going. Seems like even before his third birthday, he wanted to wear one of his sibling's old jerseys to the games and he'd spend each game kicking a ball around on the sidelines. Often with me.

He couldn't wait until he was old enough to be on a team and be able to play games himself. Several years passed, we found a Spring team so he wouldn't have to wait until Fall. He loved going to practices. Finally the day of his first game came. Each half was short (15 min?). Part of the team would play the first half, the others the second. Our kid played in the first half. He spent it running the field repeatedly from end to end. When halftime came, his face was as red as an apple and he was unable to breathe. He walked off the field huffing and puffing and came up to me with a big smile. I said "How was it?" He responded "It's harder than it looks".

So funny!

There was the time my son came into the kitchen to tell us he had a stick in his nose. We looked, and sure enough there was a teeny stick in his nose. We knew our son well enough to know that we needed to be very matter-of-fact about this situation or he would panic, too. After a few experiments we determined WE would not be able to get it out. So that was the day our toddler learned to blow his nose.

After he blew his nose, we asked why he had put a little grape stem up his nose. “Because I didn’t have any pockets.”

Alrighty then.

Funny only in hindsight: I heard much giggling in the kitchen and found my 2 and 4 year olds sitting in front of the refrigerator with a whole carton of broken eggs. They were putting their hands in the mess and pulling up the strings of the sticky mess.

"Because I didn’t have any pockets.”

Alrighty then.

Spits coffee on tablet .....Ahahhhahhhahh .. inhale ..lololhahahhahaha!

Kids had two chairs to sit in side by side watching Captain Kangaroo in mornings while I prepared breakfast. Daughter had long beautiful hair, I walked downstairs to get something from freezer, as I walked back in I could see back of her head and noticed hair was short. I ask what happened? Daughter was 3 , and son was 4 . Both still looking ahead watching Captain as though they had no clue what I meant. She ask son to cut her hair with toy scissors. They put the hair under the tv so I would not notice. After breakfast , took her to my hairdresser and he told my son he did a great job on sisters hair. Can’t believe how easy it was for play scissors to cut hair.

My son was about 12 and had done something that made me really mad, I no longer remember what. I scolded him for some time and when I finally stopped, he looked at me and said, "And your point is?"

To this day it makes me laugh.

When our son was in preschool they were learning all about fruits and vegetables. One afternoon we were sitting on the sofa looking at pictures in magazines. We came to a picture of several different vegetables, and he was telling me what each vegetable was. There was a bunch of parsley, he didn't know what it was. I told him it was parsley. He looked up at me with his big beautiful brown eyes and said "Oh, I know--Elvis Parsley!"

So in our family Elvis has since been know as Elvis Parsley.

When my son as about 3 he was a picky eater. I made french toast one morning and as usual he made a fuss. I ignored him while the other kids ate. When his plate was empty he left the table with the others. I felt pretty good. Like I won that one. Later that day I went to the grocery store and put my hand in my purse for my wallet and came up with a handful of sticky french toast. I calmly took out some nice sticky money and gave it to the open-mouthed cashier.

It was the last time I left my purse hanging over the back of a kitchen chair.

I was working in my garden one day and my daughter was in the house. I think she was around 3. She came outside carrying and eating a sandwich she had proudly made herself....out of an entire stick of butter. And she was happily eating and enjoying it. I don’t recall that she finished the entire thing though.

I'd forgotten this entirely, but sister recently gave me a stack of letters I'd written to our grandparents so there it is in my own handwriting: "DD is growing taller, and "smarter", every day. The other day DH gave her a Hershey's Kiss and told her to share it with me. So she said, "Mommy, you can have the top half" and broke off the little tiny tip and gave it to me. Then she popped the whole bottom "half" into her own mouth and laughed and laughed! The things you get away with when you're three years old and cute!"

OutsidePlaying, DH's family story is that when he was a toddler, they had to tie the refrigerator closed because he'd grab sticks of butter to eat. Kids, lol!

I love everyone's funny kid stories :-) If you have kids in your life, write those stories down, because you can only remember so much.

When my son was 5 he asked if he could be in charge of giving our lab his evening meal. A few weeks into his chore, he came to me and said he had decided to stop feeding the dog. I asked why and his response was, "Well I hear you complain about picking up the dog poo in the yard, so if he didn't eat so much, you wouldn't have to pick up so much." He was very serious and I had the hardest time trying to contain my laughter. He had certainly given this a lot of thought! He's almost 40 now and we still laugh about it.

When 2 of our boys were very small, a neighbor of ours had a litter of puppies. One accidently wandered over into our yard and the boys were thrilled playing with it. I told them, no we can't keep it. A squabble began with one boy saying it was a girl puppy and the other insisting it was a boy puppy. The younger boy said, yeah how do you know? The older boy replied because he noticed when the puppy rolled over. The younger boy asked me, quite stubbornly, Mom, do girl puppies roll over?

We still laugh over that one.

This is Halloween (possibly) related:

When my nephew was four or five and interested in dinosaurs, I bought him a DVD of a cheap Japanese horror film that I thought had dinosaurs in it - it might have been Godzilla, however, but a very cheap version and very hokey, and so it was not at all scary to me - more funny than anything else.

Anyway, my nephew was getting scared watching it, and so he climbed into the large reclining lounge chair with me for protection and said, "There's no such thing as vampires, is there Uncle Lars? But there is a Vampire State Building that King Kong climbed up."

Son aged about 5 was carrying the cat around the house. I asked him why, and he said that otherwise the cat's feet would be sore from so much walking.

Granddaughter figured out the reason that our cat refused to wear a leash. It was because the leash was red and the cat didn't like the color.

This story is talked, and laughed about often at our house. My 2 daughters, aged 10 and 11 at the time and a 10 year old neighbor boy often walked across the 5 acre back field, across the railroad tracks and through the woods to the bank of the Cuyahoga River to fish. It was about a 1 mile walk in all. Well, one day they all came back home with one of the girls holding her fishing pole over her shoulder leading the boy who was attached to her fishing line, the hook through his nose, very neatly between the nostrils. The worm was still on the hook. The other daughter was following, but laughing so hard that she could barely walk. I cut the boy loose and called his Mom who took him to the ER.

Such sweet stories!

My 5 year old granddaughter announced she could get her daddy to get her almost anything. I asked her how she did that and she replied that she turned on her cuteness. She's now 9 and was lamenting she didn't get to go to the store with her dad. I asked her if she turned on her cuteness and she told me that didn't work any more.

I love these fun stories!

Nickel, that is too funny about your DH eating butter too. As far as I know, that was the only time my DD ever ate it like that.

When my grandson was probably 3 or so, he would have "time out" on their steps & one time, with tears in his eyes, he pleaded with his mom, "Feel sorry for me!!" We still repeat that phrase when we need sympathy!

I was babysitting my young niece and she had done something naughty for which I scolded her. Her response - well, excuuuuuuuse me! I didn't know if I should laugh or double-up on the scolding!

I have given birth to two children and I remember each experience very well. When my daughter was in labor and very close to giving birth, she yelled, "I'm gonna die!"

I calmly said, "No, honey, you won't die".

She responded with, "Mom, you don't understand what this is like".

All such good stories. Our kids kept us laughing and rolling our eyes. I love telling my grandkids the things their parents did!!!

One day I drove past a construction site with my 2 and 3 year olds. My son said “MESS!” My daughter replied “ No Baby, they dig for treasures”

One day while babysitting my granddaughter she asked me why my house was so small. I told her that since I live alone I didn’t need a big house. She looked at me with a puzzled face and asked, don’t you have any kids? I told her that her mom and uncles were my kids, she than asked where did you put their beds, since I only have one bedroom.

When our son was about three my husband asked him to go out to the kitchen and bring him something (can't remember) .

Scott asked his dad "Is youse hips broke?"

We still laugh about it.

When my son was 3, we arrived late for church, so had to stand in the Choir section as the other seats were full. Instead of singing “Sing Hosana to the Lord”, he was loudly singing “ Sing Lasagne to the Lord”. We were having a hard time containing our laughter from the rest of the parishioners, especially since we were on display. We lost it when he turned to me once the singing stopped and said “ God must like lasagne, too, since he wrote a song about it”. Of course, every new girlfriend hears this story!

My oldest son was about 3 years old when one of my DSIL's was getting married. My hubby was part of the wedding, so I was sitting with my son. When the priest raised his arms to bless everyone, my son stood on the pew and yelled, "Batman." Needless to say he was a Batman fan, but the wedding continued after the laughing died down!

My two are 25 months apart. When I was pregnant with DS I explained to DD that mommy had a baby brother or sister growing inside her. I said that when two people loved one another and decided to make a baby the daddy's "seed" went into the mommy and met an egg and the baby started to form. Kept it simple.

Well shortly after DS was born I was in a long check out line of back to school shoppers in Macy's. DD was starting preschool. She looked at her little brother and decided right then to proclaim in a loud 2 year old's voice. "Mommy, if you and Daddy make another baby, I want to watch him plant the seed".

Grand daughter is tall for her age. When she was around 2 1/2 I offered to take her on a kid's roller coaster at the zoo. She went but I could tell she was a bit tense on the ride. The next year we were at the same place and I offered to take her again. She said I don't think I like that "rolling pin". I asked if she remembered riding it last time. She replied, "Gramma, last time I was too young to know I was supposed to be scared."

By age six she became fearless.

Wildchild, "plant the seed", glad I wasn't holding my cup of tea!!!!

My little brother, about age 4, watched a few of our dog’s puppies being born. When Daddy came home he told him all about it: “And Daddy, it was so cool, they came out all wrapped in little Baggies!”

When my son was about age 5, he got into a box of tampons and then led a marching band of neighborhood kids......all "tooting" on the cardboard applicators (they'd thrown the firecracker parts away)!

When our son was a toddler, he loved to play with his little plastic dinosaurs. One day he brought a big handful of them downstairs to play with in the living room. When he had finished playing and was wandering off toward the kitchen, we told him he’d have to take his dinosaurs back upstairs to the playroom before his snack. He looked at his hands and then said piteously, “ Wittle hands!” Decades later, our family members still say this when we don’t want to do something. Never gets me out of cooking dinner though.

I probably told this one already, but it's my favorite... My very young son was in the backseat strapped in, during what was probably a very typical long afternoon car ride, and doing what toddlers typically do (frustrating their parent to death). Exasperated, I said outloud, "Lord please help me!" And son retorted back "Mom?! I'm right here!" (and I can hear you). Still makes me laugh.

ETA: Steph you reminded me of another (I really love this kid). He acquired this really bad habit of getting out of bed every night. And we were told by the doctor to just keep putting him back, ignoring whatever he was saying or doing. The final time of putting him back to bed, he was told not to get out of bed until the sun came up. He actually stayed in bed, but he came up with every reason you could imagine, and some you might not, but the pinnacle came when shouted through his red-faced tears "You can't do this to me, I'm five!"