Bonito flakes.....what else can I do with them?
5 years ago
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What else can I do?
Comments (4)Well I would certaily be asking the supplier for a refund.But after all this time it may be a little difficult in proving your case. You may just have to be grateful that some of the bulbs have survived. Have you any photos of the damaged bulbs?...See MoreFire Ants: How do I know I have them and how do I get rid of them
Comments (2)Fire ants make mounds and not holes. The mounds start out small and become larger as the colony population increases. These mounds look rather innocent until you disturb them, and ALL of the ants boil out of the mound all at once. Again, there is never a discernible hole. I never worry about ants in my yard and garden, other than fire ants. Fire ants can be a problem for humans, pets, bird nests, beneficial insect eggs and larvae, and such....See Morewhat else can I do?
Comments (24)I have just read this thread and it has brought a lot of things in my own life into focus. And maybe some of that can help you see this in a different light, too. My own situation in my first marriage was similar in many ways to yours (except that my ex never cooked!!). But I was the wife so maybe I can offer some insight on that side. You began by telling us some very positive things about yourself - how much you make, that you are an excellent cook, etc. I get the impression that you have a pretty high opinion of yourself. And that is good! Good for you. I believe that self esteem (an overworked term for sure) comes from an honest sense of accomplishment. I'm not a great fan of the idea that constant praise works to build a person's self esteem...the person has to come to believe it through achievement. I'm glad you have that and what I'm going to say is not meant to attack or undermine that...only to suggest a different point of view. Now think of your wife's situation. She did get her degree (but you take a bit of the credit, don't you?) and then worked part time (at a salary that you specifically point out was WAY below what you make). She quit and you didn't even care. Well, that could mean you are just a real nice guy. Or it could mean that her efforts were unnecessary or pointless. (I would bet she took it that way.) Now she is a mother. And I don't care what they used to say about motherhood...nowadays it is a pretty thankless task. You don't get a lot of recognition (think: "JUST a housewife"). And it's also pretty hard to get a sense of accomplishment from it. You do the daily stuff...and it all has to be done over tomorrow - or later today. And all the while you get to wonder and worry about whether you are doing it right: whether your child will grow up without being traumatized by your best efforts (there is no owners manual) and whatever the outcome...it is years in the future! Motherhood is NOT the path to self esteem. Your wife also has her mother right by her side. That could be a fantastic source of help. But it is more likely a source of self doubt and questioning. It is awfully hard for a mother to be a cheering section for her child raising a child without ever suggesting (even subtly) that mistakes are being made. Alright...you have a woman who probably had a shaky self image to start with and she is living with a parent (more or less supportive OR critical) and a husband (pretty doggone sure he is doing/being the best he can) and an infant (who cries for mysterious reasons, scares the living daylights out of any thinking person, and is a source of endless - sleepless - WORK and worry). The fact that your wife objects to immunizations (and I don't agree with that stance) shows that she is seriously worried about doing this right. So she throws herself into cleaning. Is that surprising? It shouldn't be. What else has she got to do that might leave a mark? She obsesses about the one area of her work that is on display, that can be accomplished to some sort of completion, that someone might actually notice and acknowledge. There may even be an element of self defense in her cleaning - she may have reached the point of doubting her own worth to the extent that she feels she must PROVE how hard she works. I've done it myself (within the last week!) but it doesn't work well. Because this one thing that she is trying so hard to do right is dismissed as unimportant...easily jobbed out to a stranger...or just ignored and left undone! No wonder the poor woman shrieks from time to time. I think it is particularly telling that the two of you have a great deal of friction about whether or not YOU clean up after you cook. By refusing to do that bit (which would normally be HER bit) you are saying (as she would read it) that it is not important or that it is beneath you. Not beneath HER, mind. But too boring or lowly for YOU to deal with. I'd be surprised if she isn't feeling that you consider yourself very superior to her. And that sort of inequality really doesn't help a marriage. This is exactly the state of mind that leads a lot of women to find fault with any efforts the husband makes to "help" around the house. She is trying desperately to prove that what she does is special and can't be done by just anybody (especially YOU). In really grim situations (like my own failed marriage) she may be "staking a claim" on at least one little part of her life where she hopes to retain some control and ownership. I wonder if your friend who supplied the unofficial "counseling" said anything to suggest that your wife has real worth, that she is valuable or that she is making an important contribution? It would go a long way to explain her willingness to go with your new program. I hope that will work for you both. Sometimes we fall into solutions just as we so often fall into problems. For me, I left. I felt just as unappreciated and worthless as I suspect your wife has felt. I was, in fact, very near suicide. So why, once I was living in a strange place with a poorly paid job and two very small children, a crumby apartment, and ALL the household work and worry did I feel BETTER? Because I knew then - as I had NEVER been allowed to know before - that I WAS competent and able to manage my/our life. I wish I had figured all this out before it went that far. Things would be very different for me (and for the children) if I had known then what I know now. Best wishes for you. I hope it will all work out. I don't really have any magic solution. If you read this and see merit in it, it shouldn't be too hard for you to figure out what your wife needs and then to decide whether you want to provide it to her. Or...better still...to provide her the opportunity to get it for herself....See Morestock laminate with build in backsplash, what else can i do
Comments (6)You have a laminate BS that goes up the wall like tiled BS does? I've never seen that! Even if you tile w/inexpensive tiles, you'll need to repair the wall behind it so you may not be saving yourself anything. Maybe Bill_Vincent will chime in! I agree w/Live_Wire_Oak...don't waste your time & $$ (even if it's not that much) on anything more than paint. We actually have a painted BS as (1) we're saving up for it (along w/retirement & college!) and (2) I don't know what I want to do yet!...See More- 5 years ago
- 5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoIslay Corbel thanked sleevendog (5a NY 6aNYC NL CA)
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