Heh. Michael, if you can remove oxalis from inside your roses with Roundup and not kill the roses, you should be cutting diamonds instead of growing roses. I don't know who you people are, who can use Roundup and not kill or maim something you're trying to save. Every time I touch the stuff there's a mishap. The only thing I can safely spray is poison oak acres away from everything else. Anything else, and it doesn't matter whether I use a tiny paint brush or a sprayer with a cup over the nozzle to direct the overspray, the brush falls on a plant, the dogs knock over the tank, the solution splashes on my goggles, the cup drips, something bad happens. I get the message. I'm doomed.

Silver Quite interesting reading. I have thought about EX and how he must feel about DD, or any woman that has been in his life. I do understand the conceptual thinking behind the term "limerance". I had a man that I felt that way about once. I never told him, figuring that if he felt anything for me he would approach me. There were a few mixed signals, I thought but he never made an attempt that was something that I knew for sure showed he was interested in me. He had enough chances to do that and he didn't. He thought of me as a friend or sister I guess. Or he would have gone for a little "roll in the hay" if I would have. He even introduced me to a girlfriend that he began dating and ended up getting her pregnant and they later married. Ouch! With EX's past ( if what he has said is true ) he undoubtedly has great fear of rejection. Again, if what he says is true, he wanted my DD to stay with him, build a future with him and he wanted a family with us. There are too many things though that are negatives to the success of their relationship that he is completely out of touch with which makes me think that he has a break with normal thought processes. This is evident with other actions...his extensive lying and his criminal behavior. My DD did not want to marry or have children ( my goodness, she is only 20 ) and he did. Very much in fact. I don't know that she will ever change her mind but he had said that he would rather have had her and no kids than to not have her at all. I don't know that it would have been something he could have easily lived with though. The age difference is something that was too vast....11 years...when dealing with her age group. Had they met when she was in her 30's or 40's or older then it would not have been as big a deal. I am sorry for him when it comes to honest, heartfelt feelings that he might have had for my DD. The fact that he could install such fear ( and continues to do so ) and the fact that he has told so many lies negates all of that though. It sucks to be rejected. Our family histories have a lot to do with whether or not we can process the rejection in a healthy way. Most of us have been and some of us have stepped over a line while dealing with it that we cringe at after having healed a bit. It is important to teach our kids that when they deal with peers or a romantic interest people have a right to reject them. In the long run it is for the best. I don't know how much EX has control over when it comes to his emotions about the breakup. I am sorry that I can't talk to him. It just can't happen. I want him to get help and to go onto have a happy life. More importantly though I want him to leave my DD alone and let her move on. Thanks for the thread and the link Silversword.

I just had time to read the first few responses so I apologize if I repeat what's already been said... or if I missed something new. I'm sure your son, along with the rest of the team(s) notice the 'girls' hanging out. Besides being awkward to ask him, he would probably say he's embarrassed to you but to his friends, he may be their hero... bringing something to look at to the games. (lots of kids that age are plain curious & will look at whatever is there) It's kinda sad that she feels so insecure and threatened to behave that way. (I know that she may not be insecure or feel threatened but everything she does would lead me to believe she is either insecure & feels threatened or she has absolutely no social skills or idea of what is appropriate) I also agree it could be worse but there's nothing wrong with feeling annoyed by her. She seems to be in your face, marking her territory, and maybe wants you to know she exists. Getting there before you might make her feel she has the upper hand... more like you are on HER turf because she was there first... you are walking into a space she has already gotten comfortable in. I disagree that she must care about SS to drive all that way to be there... she may be driving all that way to get in your face so you know she's there, especially if it's her only opportunity for you to see her. (I kinda see that because SD's BM goes to every practice & game for her BF's kids... even if she is on crutches or sick. She wants BF's exW to see her there, she also gets there before exW & seats herself with all the other mothers & starts up conversation so when exW gets there, she will sit somewhere else... it's not about rooting for the kids at all~ BM also is loud & in your face kinda person... and tries to be the sexy SM, so I relate to that part of your post) As your title says "probably won't do anything"... that's exactly what you should do... NOTHING. The more you ignore her and be yourself, it will probably drive her crazy. Whatever she is trying to get out of it... if she gets nothing back, it will frustrate her. As for talking to ex about smoking, I would simply mention that SS smells like smoke, the next time he smells like smoke... and instead of saying please don't smoke, say something like "I wonder why DS smells like smoke?" and see if he cops to it & offers to refrain around the child or shrugs an "I don't know". Then I would tell him that "I'd sure hate to see DS become a smoker, it's a nasty habit" I think that will work better than being an exW that comes across telling him what he can or can't do. I think you should have a right to when it comes to your son's well being but it does no good to complain if it's not going to be well received. If you get a dialogue going about concern for your son, then he might get the message. (what kind of parent would say "oh, it's no big deal if he decides to be a smoker"? That would be ridiculous and inappropriate.)

We moved into a neighborhood of 1960s-70s colonials. One of the many things I liked about our house was the black slate foyer floor. A new friend came by and mentioned that "that slate is really easy to remove" and she had just put new large-format tile in her foyer instead. 12 years later and I still prefer my black slate. The other thing I wouldn't and won't change is the kitchen curtains. The kitchen faces the street and includes a breakfast nook, so we need some curtains, but I don't want to block the view altogether. The house came with cafe curtains, as well as an upper tier of curtains (not a valance) for the larger breakfast nook windows. They are somewhat sheer, maybe translucent is the word, which I like: it's like looking through lightly-frosted glass so I can see if someone is walking by the house without really being able to see who they are. The little ruffle probably dates them the most, but given that they are otherwise plain it's cute. What I'd really like is a toile pattern, but I just can't find a fabric that is translucent, without being "shiny".