What do you think? Daughter's Ex boyfriend won't leave her alone.
In an earlier post "How to cope with life's difficult moments?" I mentioned that my DD20 had broken up with her BF of 2 1/2 yrs. and how I felt about the man's unfortunate childhood. Well.....this is what transpired last Friday night at about 10:30 pm or so......
DD20 was working and DH/SF and I were finishing a movie. All the kids were out of the house for the night and it was nice and quiet. Then the phone rings. It was DD and she was nearly hysterical. She had gotten a call at work from a man that said that her EXBF was at the emergency room and she needed to get there right away. He would not give any other info. She calls me and comes home and I take her to the hospital. Of course we are thinking that he has had a car accident, tried to take his life, is hanging on by a tread and at the very least hurt pretty badly. I am driving rather fast, not much traffic on the streets, because we want to get there before he dies, right?......She runs into the emergency room, I am in hot pursuit and low and behold who is sitting in the waiting room, as pretty as you please but EXBF! He claims to not know why she is there. I listen to him for a moment and then go up to the desk and ask if he had been admitted into the er and if anyone there had called. No to both questions....in fact he just got there.
By this time the two of them are outside talking. He tells her someone found him in his car, it was carbon monoxide and if the person hadn't found him he would still be there.
I stood there for just a few seconds and then went to the car. I knew if I opened my mouth I was probably going to get arrested just for the language that would scream out of me. DD walked away from him shortly after that, as he was still talking and got in the car. She said "Drive mom, just drive."
As we were driving to the hospital she had called his best friend who didn't know anything about it and of course wasn't friendly to her since she did the breaking up. On the way home she called him again and told him basically to get his friend some help, that she couldn't help him and wanted to be left alone.
She goes back to work, I go into the house and tell DH/SF. He is really pissed. He calls Exbf and tells him not to contact SD again or he would call the police. EXBF gives him an entirely different story about what caused the carbon monoxide poisoning. It happened at a friends house, he was messing with a furnace, someone found him called 911, he spent 72 hours in the hospital. Blah, blah, blah. Nothing adds up.
Even after being told by SD to leave SD alone EXBF text messages her in the middle of the night, leaves hear a 7 paragraph email with the story that he told DH and last night showed up at her job. I tell DH/SF and I don't know if he will call the police tonight or not.
It amounts to stalking if you ask me given the fact that EX has been told soooo many times to leave DD alone and he goes out of his way to contact her. I've always thought that he was full of @#$% and DD knows that but I couldn't stop them from seeing one another. He did some time in the city jail about a 1 1/2 years ago because he was managing a hotel and some money came up missing. His story was too much for me to buy and evidently the police thought so to because he was going to be prosecuted for it. He cut a deal, pleaded no contest and did 3 months or so in jail. It was very hard to see DD go through it but she stick by him. During that time she and I had some heart to hearts and I was able to talk her out of marrying him after he got out and was also able to present the case for her being too young to have to deal with all of this crap. She was 19 he was 30.
Anyway....I have a feeling that it isn't over. He told DD and DH/SF that he had never had anyone look at him the way that I had looked at him. If he thinks looks can kill he'd better watch out for my sharp tongue. Seriously though, I know I have to keep my mouth shut so that it all rests on his shoulders. I'll see what hubby wants to do when he gets home. I think we should at least contact the police and see what our options are. Perhaps a little visit from them would cause him to rethink whether or not contact DD is wise.