Resenting my older spouse who refuses to make is 19 year grow up.
I live with my older spouse, his teenager and my preteens. He will fight me tooth and nail over his kid. He doesn't hold her to any responsibly and she does whatever she wants. I can't say anything but listen. When I chime in, he flips on me and said's I am always picking on or tattle telling on his daughter. No way I would do that! I'm just so sick of him PARENTING ME instead of his own kid. I hate how he doesn't get her to do more around the house, get a job, make some plan for her future! What 19 year old wants to live with their parent for the rest of their lives?? I know one. One who doesn't have to pick up after herself, works like a 14 yr old doing a few hours a week and "Daddy" is always giving her money. I need advice on how to talk about this or even handle it within myself. I will not be in my 40's cleaning up and doing another adults laundry and choirs while they hang out with friends and date and live under my roof, always on my dime. My kids are so different. They want more for themselves. Travel. They have goals. They were picking up after themselves and helping with their choirs at a very young age. After the 1st two years of all of us living together, they resent her for being so lazy and actually feels at peace when she goes out with friends. My 11 yr old had to ask her to pick up after herself in the bathroom because the children share a bathroom. That's embarrassing! It's ruining my relationship. I try to talk to her but she just blows it off. I try to talk to him but he feels like I am attacking her. It's getting ridiculous. Any advice would be wonderful.