Jay, You should really look at the glass as half full once in awhile instead of half empty. I'm sorry but I don't think I have ever seen you post anything positive. I believe you may be one of the most negative people on the planet. I have asked you in other threads to show us your stuff, where are your intros? You as well as anyone else that has been around for awhile know that not all of the Southern plants preform well in the North, and that not all of the Northern plants do well in the South. Sadly it will probably ALWAYS be that way since many of us are working for plants that do well up here, and they are working on plants that do well down there. You need to get over that fact, or do something about it. On the subject of names the ICNCP has very specific rules and guidelines that must be followed to avoid confusion. They have been established for many reasons. About photos, I have NEVER seen a Daylily that bloomed 100% consistantly the same every day. Hot and cold, humidity, lack of rain, rain, and even soil can influence how a bloom looks. I have seen VAST differences in my own garden from day to day. Now If I am going to introduce a plant I want a good photo to represent it. I'm not talking about one that has been tampered with but one that really shows off the plant to it's best advantage. Feel free when you do (if ever) introduce anything to use a photo of the worst bloom to represent it. I literally take thousands of photos each year here and in other gardens, and I have to tell you that getting a good true to life photo of some flowers is very diffcult. I took over 60 photos of CATCHER IN THE EYE before I got 2 that represented the plant well. If you really want to critique others plants, please feel free, but please keep your negative attitude to yourself, it is only your opinion and your opioion is not shared by every one here. I mentioned that Steve Moldovan told me that promising seedlings need to be evaluated for 5 years and that some new plants take 2 to 3 years to settle in and really preform your responce was "I want plants that produce right out of the box" or something to that effect. Well don't we all! You display the same I WANT IT NOW attitude of the average 3 year old. If I have to wait 2 to 3 years to see a bloom and it's nice, I can wait 2 to 3 more years here to see how it develops, and space is a real problem for me. I anxiously await your first introduction!

"I wanted to try at least for my DH because he has suffered a lot at the hands of his kids and I don't think it's acceptable. Someone has to tell them how badly they are behaving." I think you need to be careful about this. For one, it can often be self-serving and underlying it is a secret or not-so-secret wish for Dad to see how rotten his kid is... not really to actually help Dad or make him feel any better but to make you feel superior in comparison to the rotten kid. It's a common enough gambit ---"I just care about how this is affecting YOU..."--- and like any other area of life where we take an active interest in others' well-being, there is often just as much of an element of us wanting to feel pleased with ourselves, that's what's in it for us. Some people may think this paints a very bleak picture of human nature, but sadly I think it's pretty accurate if we are honest enough to admit it to ourselves. I don't personally think there's anything wrong with wanting a self-serving benefit out of doing what we feel is a good deed, or out of concern for others. After all, at best it can be a win-win situation: you can support others and in return pat yourself on the back for being a good upstanding person. But there are times when it crosses a line and that's when it starts to HARM rather than help relationships, creating a RIFT rather than a BRIDGE and where it can come dangerously close to being more of a WIN for us and a great LOSS to someone else. That isn't "win-win" anymore, that's one-upmanship. In stepfamilies, especially, where there's naturally such a risk of excessive competition, we all have to avoid this danger. And I'm not just saying this as the stepdaughter who's apparently been painted as a monster by my SM to my Dad and every little tiny misunderstanding pryed open with a clawhammer to create a rift the size of the Grand Canyon... I'm also saying it because I have been on the other side of it, in that the way my SM treated my Dad appalled ME. Many were the times I was tempted to "point out" how disrespected and even abused he was... I always kept it to myself, except for one time when he literally dragged it out of me. And boy did I suffer the wrath! Even though he solicited it, deep down he did not want to hear it. (Just like I'm sure these Dads don't want to hear how disrespectful and horrible, etc. their own children may or may not be.) And deep down this was because he had in fact chosen to tolerate her behavior by not standing up for himself. In my case, it was my SM who acted the part of manipulative bratty, sh*t-fit-throwing little girl (she even called him "Daddy"), but you can see this can go both ways and apply to stepkids or step-parent. Or just anyone who treats anyone else we care about like crap. We can offer our input if asked; they may not take it. We can support them and try to help them feel stronger about themselves, but at the end of the day, it is THEIR LIFE to preside over and make decisions about. If my Dad or your husband gets disrespected, HE'S CHOOSING to put up with it, and if he's okay with it, then you simply have to wipe your hands clean and ignore it. If it is REALLY about concern for how HE suffers, then he must not be suffering that much if he doesn't put a stop to it. These are grown men we're talking about, men who have supported and helped US through many struggles, surely. And really, if you're totally honest, isn't it also that the disrespectful behavior you can't stand for HIM to be subjected to is the same disrespectful behavior YOU are so hurt by from the person? You have to admit that and own it, because the "poor victim" already knows it and resents that you're trying to make it seem that it's ALL out of concern for THEM when it's really only partly concern for them and just as much concern for yourself. Nothing wrong or shameful in that, you just have to own your own feelings and not be ashamed to admit them out loud. Not that we don't REALLY care about our long-suffering loved ones. Of course, we all do! Believe me, I know how hard it is to watch certain things inflicted on someone you love, but that person is really the only one who can say "***I*** won't tolerate it anymore", and they have to do that after they've reached a point where THEY really can't tolerate it. When something bothers a person enough, they'll find a way to either change it, or if they can't change it to adjust their reaction so the negative behavior doesn't have power over them. If he's not doing either, it doesn't bother him that much, plain and simple. It was incredibly rough realizing that was the case with my Dad and my SM's behavior ---even more excruciating was the thought that he might actually LIKE IT--- but it was what it was and there was nothing I or anyone else could do about it. In a nutshell, when you seek to establish yourself as a caring person and when you express a concern directly to someone about that person's relationship with a certain loved one, you have to first ask yourself "is what I'm going to say going to actually IMPROVE that relationship or harm it? Am I offering any positive constructive suggestions to help them get along BETTER or am I saying incendiary things that will make them get along WORSE? What is MY goal in all this? How can I still come out smelling like a rose with my helpful comments while avoiding making a conflict worse?"

Welcome back, I am not from Alabama lol but I am in the South. The North Houston area here. I love watching the birds through all of my windows and skylights. There is a red headed and a yellow headed woodpecker that comes and pecks on the big tree right outside my office window. Some days they are both there at once. Very neat to watch. I had a road runner that would come peck on my windows out to my pool at my Dallas house, it would bring me treats for some reason. Bugs and worms etc, tap on the window and watch me me through the window. He loved hanging around the pool. I miss it.

Lovely. You have chosen well and I love the fact that you are willing to take your time to get things right. It's amazing to me how many people expect things to be perfect right away, all at once. That rarely, if ever, works, and takes the fun out of the process. Many of them could learn from your example.