Thanks for the advice everyone! When I got home from work last night, she was outside and came over to chat for a few minutes and let me and DH know that she was moving this weekend and that the new tenants are moving in a week or two. She renewed her offer for me to take whatever, especially since she had showed the house to the lady who is moving in and was telling her about different plants and said that the lady didn't seem to show any interest whatsoever since she has little kids. My neighbor said that she liked the fact that they were going to a good home and was even more generous than she has already been and said that when she comes back to visit in a few months (her adult kids live nearby) that she would bring me some more divisions of her dad's irises (apparently he has quite a collection). I am just blown away by her generosity. Maybe by the time she comes back to visit, she will be able to take some divisions of my plants (and some of her plants) back with her :) I really hate that she can't take her plants with her to her parents' house, especially since so many of them came from her patients' gardens (she's a hospice nurse). I hope that she will have time to tell me about each of them when I go to get divisions later this week. I brought her some large boxes and we offered to help her load up, but I will make sure to bring her some cookies or something when I go over. Thanks for all the advice everyone! :)

That happens here too, LindaC. Not only when family members die, but if someone is ill or injured, or needs to leave for a couple of days, everyone pitches in. So, the farmer who has his appendix removed right in the middle of hay season? Covered. Barn burned? We all rebuild. Child in the military, wounded and in the hospital? Go, go, GO. GO NOW. The cows will be fed and the hay will be baled and the fences will be checked. the garden will be hoed and the eggs will be gathered and your refrigerator will be stocked when you return. It's all taken care of, always has been and I hope it always will be. Annie

Nnanatricia, the idea of sending stamps is wonderful! I'm keeping that one in mind for the future. Death is a personal thing and each person's family likes certain things and dislikes certain things. To me it should be based on the decedent's wishes. For instance, my mother loved flowers. Any gift of flowers made her week, or month. To not have an overkill (excuse the phrase) on flowers at her funeral would have been a shame. We ordered 2 large pots plus the casket spray and knew that there'd be a lot of flowers coming, which they did. Turns out the funeral director also owned the flower shop he could "get a discount through" and not only charged us more, but gave us about 1/3 the size it was supposed to be. Needless to say we weren't happy. Then shortly after my aunt died, (my mother's only sister) and I immediately ordered a large arrangement for her. At the last second my sister and I decided to fly down for the funeral. No flowers from us. My uncle was going, oh you didn't have to, you're not expected to, and all that, but I said, no, I PAID for this and they were supposed to be here! That's the point. I was very embarrassed. This was a big flower outfit and surprised me they did this. They claimed they tried to get a hold of me, no message, hmmm. Then said they'd send something to the house afterward. But I'm getting off the point. If you're in a financial bind, you should NOT stress yourself more. Send a card with a note about a memory or something your mother said about the departed. That'll have far more value than the flowers in most cases. I'm also a little sensitive about sending flowers since some churches are now requiring people to leave the flowers for them! I was shocked when I first heard this! But it's happened a few times. That did it for me. No more flowers. Another thing you could do if you wanted, and when financial times are better is send something to the grave for Memorial Day or her birthday or something. That could be thoughtful. I don't think expectations are appropriate for memorials at funerals. It's up to the giver what, if anything they wish to do and more importantly, can afford. Don't try to keep up with the Jones'. I say go with a card and a kind word. And FWIW, if you are thinking of a plant for later, or a tree that the recipient is expected to plant and maintain, make sure it's wanted before you give it. Not everyone likes plants and the trouble to maintain them. Some, especially if they are alone, might leave for a while and who will care for them? Think before you give something just because *you* like it. I don't know many people who don't like or can't use cash! And make it cash (or a check to them) not a gift card! And for donations, I think the person donating should make the donation and tell the family. It was a lot of time, effort and stress for my father to deal with the number of checks and stuff sent to him, one is to be given to Ladies' Auxiliary (who handled the funeral food), another to Diabetes Research, another to Cancer Society, another to the in-town church, another to the church where she was buried etc. Sheesh! He insisted it be done right away. I said put it in a box and we'll do it in a couple weeks after things settled down but of course his feeling was it had to be done immediately.

1929Spanish-GW It's Boden. Here's a link - Dress. DH's mother was recently in the hospital with a serious illness. She's much better now but the incident made me think ahead to possible funeral preparations. I work from home and generally dress very casually. I have a few very dressy dresses which I know are not funeral appropriate. If I had to attend acquaintance's funeral I could probably get away with my usual black cropped pants and a blazer but for DH's family I know I will need a conservative dress. I'll keep looking but I'll probably order the dress because I think it is cute.