Avoid daytime napping. And of course, speak to his doctor.

Over in Conversations Roarah, who had a stroke and suffers from an autoimmune disease which gives her a good deal of pain said, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy has worked very well for managing her pain. The treatment is similar to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Here are some links to check out. I hope your husband gets some relief soon.

https://www.integrativepainscienceinstitute.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-act-for-chronic-pain/

https://www.practicalpainmanagement.com/patient/treatments/mental-and-emotional-therapy/cbt-act-therapy-chronic-pain-how-does-psychotherapy

Has he tried taking a little Melatonin? May not do much, but won't hurt.

MBSR was developed to deal with and ease chronic pain. There's the pain that is and there's the pain that we dwell on, fear, and anticipate. MBSR helps you isolate down to the actual pain and acceptance of it. Fighting it only makes it hurt more.

https://health.ucsd.edu/news/2011/Pages/06-15-mindfulness-based-stress-reduction.aspx

Definitely speak to the doctor. Pain meds are given for a reason. There are options that aren't narcotic. When I get kidney stones, Percocet does nothing for me but Toradol works and it is not a narcotic. There are other risks though so it's important to get a doctor's guidance. Do you have a pain management doctor/clinic in your area? They might be able to help.

Other than that, I take magnesium and melatonin and both help with sleep. And as mentioned earlier, stay away from naps.

If he does not have to work during the day, it may be that daytime naps will help him get the sleep he needs. I agree with consulting a doctor about the medications. It may be that the sleep difficulties are temporary and will return to normal once he recovers more.

I don't know if his sleep problems are because the pain keeps him awake? I had a period in my life when I had a terrible time sleeping (my husband died unexpectedly when we were quite young). I tried everything non-prescription, but nothing worked well.

Once you're in the habit of not sleeping, it can be difficult to get that rhythm and habit re-established. My doctor finally prescribed Ambien, just to help me get back to sleeping regularly. It worked wonderfully. Took it for a month, refilled the RX then took it for probably 2 more weeks before I was back in a regular sleep pattern. It was no problem stopping it.

I hesitate to suggest this because of the lack of clinical trial proof and lack of regulation for herbs, but there are some who swear by Ashwagandha Root to help with insomnia.

Thanks everyone for responding. I will be checking out those links this weekend.

His pain/discomfort is probably what wakes him up. His pain is more of an ache now, he's got an extremely high tolerance for pain, unlike me! But the pain isn't what's keeping him awake. He can change positions to relieve the pressure on the injured area.

I probably should've explained his injury - there are 3 tendons that attach your hamstring to your pelvic bone. All 3 were tore off the bone so 3 anchors were drilled into the bone and the tendons attached to the anchors. The tendons will eventually grow back onto the bone. While they are reattaching there will always be pain. He gets relief from ice. He goes to PT once or twice a week.

He just had a surgeon visit last week. All is healing on schedule. I don't believe he talked to the dr about the sleeplessness. He does have a PCP appointment coming up soon. I will tell him to talk to that dr about this issue for sure.

Olychick he might need a prescription like Ambien if we can't find a natural solution. Glad to know it helped you and wasn't addictive. So sorry for your loss.

It may in fact be beneficial for his healing to be able to wake up and change position in the night? That sounds like a truly painful injury. If it’s healing well and the pain is expected to diminish as it progresses, maybe it’s good to readjust in the night? I apologize if I’m way off base but maybe it’s nature’s way of helping the healing process. In any event I hope he feels better very soon

My sister went through the same situation as Olychick. She was going through a very stressful time which resulted in stress headaches which resulted in an inability to stay asleep which resulted in even more stress in an already stressful time.

The doctor couldn't fix the stress but he could get her some sleep which would help and so prescribed Ambien just to get back into the habit of sleeping. She took it for a couple of weeks and it really helped to get out of that no-sleep cycle.

I hope your husband is feeling better soon, sounds like a pretty bad one with long term recovery, and can get some sleep. I know people have said no napping but when you're that badly injured with a long term recovery one of the ways your body heals is through napping. He may or may not do that anyway. But do speak to his doctor.

I tore all the ligaments in my ankle a number of years and I wish I had napped during the long recovery instead of fighting it Recovery would have been easier.

I take Tylenol-4 for pain from Multiple Myeloma. This has more codeine and less Tylenol than Tylenol-3, so I can try plain Tylenol to see if that will do the job. Mostly it doesn't! I 'could' take this every four hours, but have been OK with two in 24 hours most of the time. I have not found it to be addictive over nearly a year. This is 'underlying pain', the kind that does keep you awake even if it's not *stabbing pain*. You may not even sense it, but the proof of it is obvious: When the pain is addressed, you can often sleep without a 'sleeping pill'.

I have Ambien 5 mg. (Zolpidem is the generic.) If I wake before 3 a.m., I take a 'nibble' (a third?) of this. If I'm still in pain when I go to bed, at least 30 minutes after taking the T-4, I take one-half a Zolpidem. The only side effect I see from Ambien is that I 'list' a bit when visiting the toilet at night. Some people have no tolerance for this and sleepwalk. Like the Tylenol with Codeine, it is constipating. Take stool softeners -- or Mirilax as needed.

Everyone is different. Morphine products never touched my pain, and I am Aspirin Sensitive, so can't take any NSAID products.

Ask your doctor for stronger pain relief. Over-the-counter meds are weak for a reason. Your DH doesn't have 'ordinary' pain.

Michele I think you are right - it is good for him to readjust in the night to alleviate the pain. It's just that he then can't seem to get back to sleep.

As for napping, he has napped and he's tried not napping to try to sleep better at night. It doesn't seem to affect him either way for some strange reason.

He's almost 4 months out from the surgery - the worst is behind him thankfully but the sleeplessness in the night is really frustrating for him lately.

Fun2BeHere, I'll have him look into that herb and see if he wants to try it.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions and well wishes!

Is he limiting his caffeine?

In addition to caffeine, is he also limiting alcohol and heavy meals/snacks in the evening? Those things can also cause you to have trouble getting back to sleep in the middle of the night.

I use to have terrible insomnia. Sometimes getting a hot pack or cold pack would help me conk out again more quickly. Sometimes I wanted a cold pack on my head or neck, and sometimes a hot pack on my feet or back. Both very relaxing.

Don't know if it's true, but someone once told me that if you just lie quietly and rest, even if you aren't sleeping, you will still get some degree of recuperation. For that reason, I never get up and do anything, or switch on a light or TV, instead I just relax and enjoy resting, even if it's until the alarm goes off. Once I started doing that, I found that I fell asleep quite a bit faster and got back to regular sleep habits. The trick with doing that is to not let your mind start working on real world issues- then you'll never fall asleep.

Tell him to relax about it. I know that sounds impossible but it is the key to sleep. don't fret about it. Internalize that you may or may not sleep but it is no big deal. make that your mindset. Deep breaths, relax about it and think about something else. That is why having the TV on works it is a mindless distraction that you loose track of. I am a life long insomniac. I started telling myself stories as a child, something to occupy my mind till I drifted off. I made up conversations and invented countries and changed stories that I had read and so on. It worked and still does. Like counting sheep with more details. But the main thing is not fretting about not sleeping. I read Zalcos links and apparently I came up with something similar on my own.

It might seem silly, but I swear by ASMR videos on youtube. You listen with headphones and they put me to sleep when nothing else will. You have to experiment a little to find what you like but it's worth a try! I listen on my phone with ear buds when I'm trying to sleep.

AmBien.For me it’s a miracle drug. Every once in awhile I pull out my lower back and the pain is excruciating. I can barely move. However, if I lie on my back and take an Ambien (5 mg, but men can take more), I sleep like a baby and my muscles relax.

When im not I pain but can’t fall asleep, i listen to podcasts. I am usually asleep before the end ! My favorites are The Moth, Revisionist History and This American Life. Takes your mind off things and you drift away. Another interesting one is Missing Richard Simmons — seriously!

Good luck to your husband. I get frantic when I can’t sleep.

I think I have finally convinced him he can't have caffeine like he used to. He drinks decaf coffee now if he has any after the morning cups.

I'm also one of those who refuses to get up if I wake up. I will lay there and daydream and that usually works. If the world is getting in my head, then putting the TV on to a sitcom I'm familiar with really helps. I only do that if he's gone out to the couch because I don't want to wake him up either.

His problem isn't that he's in so much pain now, it's that the pain/discomfort wakes him up and then he can't get back to sleep even after switching to a new position. I bought him a pillow to put between his legs and that helps take the pressure off his pelvic bone. But nothing is helping him fall back asleep other than the TV.

I found an app for my phone called "Calm." I find it rather fun. There are different people who read bedtime stories. Remember when you were a kid and were read a bedtime story? How you often fell asleep before the end of the story? This is the same idea. And it's usually a really calming, soothing voice reading the story. There's also an option to listen to nature sounds, or calming music. I find I look forward to bedtime to be read to.

You've been given a lot of good advice and my only suggestion would be to take magnesium by mouth rather than mag. oil on the wound site. I had good results from spraying the oil on my legs but my skin didn't like it. I don't believe magnesium so much helps me fall asleep but it has vastly improved my quality of sleep. I know a lot of people who have had similar results.

I'd also discuss with his doctor other options. Ambien has been a lifesaver for me over the years. Without it I simply cannot sleep when we travel and I refuse to have a trip ruined due to lack of sleep.

Can anyone tell me how long you have to take magnesium before it starts to help? We have a lot of stressful things going on right now, and my husband is not sleeping well at all. He goes to sleep quickly for maybe an hour or two, then wakes up for several hours, then may sleep another couple of hours. This is really getting old. I read some of about magnesium, but one place said it can take a month or more to start having any effect.

I have had 2 hip replacements and a spinal compression surgery so I feel his pain!. And I do have the same issues with sleep. I take Tylenol body pain night after lying in bed watching tv for about an hour. Or zzzQuil. But then most often after those wear off I have a heck of a time. I can sleep with the tv on, but my husband says it keeps him awake. Ha! This from the guy that can sleep in the middle of an airport, in the dentist chair or sitting up in a chair at his desk. But just an aside, both my surgeon and my MD told me under no circumstances take Advil. Apparently it’s horrible for,your organs.

I have been using these for awhile and they seem to help, found them at my grocery store

My friend has her husband take THC/CBD gummies for pain and sleep.

Says they are much better.

(He is 89.)

My husband suffers from MM pain as well and often times the pain meds he’s on will keep him up. His go to remedy is a hot cup of herbal tea, meditation and/or reading. He will also take Xanax when those options don’t work.

I suffer from insomnia as well and love to watch tv in bed. The remote to our Roku box has a jack for ear plugs so you can listen without bothering anyone else. When the light from the tv bothers my DH, he has an eye mask he can use. It’s a win win for the both of us.

Decaf still has caffeine in it, just less than regular coffee. Caffeine free is what he should be drinking later in the afternoon and/or evening.

Since I have a hard time getting back to sleep, I limit the fluid I drink after 7 pm so the bathroom trips are fewer.

Avoid daytime naps, and try separate bedrooms for a while.

Anglophilia beat me by 15 minutes. Let your husband sleep in your bedroom, watch T.V. all night if that's what it takes for him to get to sleep. You sleep in another bedroom for the time being.

Yes, separate bedrooms. My husband moans, tosses and turn in his sleep due to chronic pain. I snore. We were waking each other up. 4 years ago we started sleeping in separate rooms and we sleep better now.

aok, IIRC it was about four weeks. I actually didn't expect it to help so wasn't paying much attention. Then I realized I was sleeping much, much better. and the magnesium was the only change I'd made. DH, who has no issues with sleep, began taking it for general health benefits and then realized he was no longer waking up 30 min or so before the alarm went off. A co-worker of his, who had sleep issues, also benefited from magnesium as well as others.

^^Thanks. I'll see if he'll try it.

Very interesting read all around. I am curious about the magnesium pills. What is the dosage that you take?

I was taking magnesium for a while for bone health, but it gave me awful hot flashes so I quit taking it.

share, no advice to add, but I hope your husband's sleep issues improve as he continues to recover from his accident and the resulting surgery. Sometimes these things just take time.

Sleep is more important than most people recognize & affects all aspects of our lives & health.

I’m currently reading this NY Times best selling book: Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker, PhD.

My 2 cents, although it looks like there are more than enough helpful replies...

I do know about pain-interrupted sleep, tho mine is likely a lot less severe than your husband's.

This tea is very helpful for me, and is more benign than drugs. My eyelids often start drooping before I can finish the cup.

I take melatonin as well, but it is said to only help you fall asleep, not remain asleep.

And maybe he could use headphones with the TV, so as not to wake you? Hubby does that and I really appreciate it, since I'm a super light sleeper, even on the best of nights. He has a long extension cord for his headphones. Our TVs have sleep timers too.

carolb_ - That's the same tea that I have after dinner at around 8'00 and I have noticed a difference in my ability to fall asleep. I don't go to bed until about 10:00 but by that time I'm nice and relaxed.

Just a couple of comments. Zzzquil and Tylenol PM both contain Benadryl. Be very careful to watch so that you do not double your dose by taking them either at the same time or too close together.

Magnesium for some people can cause loose stools. If anyone has this problem you might want to talk to your doctor. I thought I was having IBS until I talked to my doctor.

Just a thought for all of those with pain issues.... have you ever tried a temperpedic mattress on an adjustable base?

My husband is a poor ole broke down retired Fire Chief with several surgically repaired injuries and chronic pain. I took him mattress shopping intending for him to get a memory foam mattress since I love mine so much

He laid down on the one with the adjustable base, put it into the zero gravity position and was instantly sold.

It also has the vibrate feature which is suppose to stimulate blood flow.

He has had it for 6 months now and says he’s never felt better and wakes up pretty much pain free and is pain free during the night.

It would sure be worth a trip to a store and test one out. They aren’t cheap but so worth the price if a person can sleep with less pain.

We bought ours at Ashely Furniture. They have their store brand and Temperpedic brand.

Perhaps he could try getting a little more exercise, if he isn't getting it in rehab -- I expect he can't do much with his lower body, but perhaps sitting upper body exercise, or hand cycling, to get his heart rate up for 10 minutes or so each day. Most of his energy will be going to healing, but sometimes the body needs just that little bit more tiredness to help with sleep (or going back to sleep.) He'll just have to be tuned into how he feels, in order to not over do.

I personally would avoid Benadryl. There is evidence mounting about long term consequences of use whether used regularly or even just sporadically - seems the cumulative dose over a lifetime may be significant, and a risk factor for dementia.

Naproxen/Aleve lasts longer than ibuprofen/Advil; both are NSAID's.

If your room is cool, take off all your covers and allow yourself to become uncomfortably cool. Flip your pillow. When you put the covers back on and warm up you will feel drowsy. If necessary, get out of bed and cool off. I have even gone outdoors for cool air.

This Youtube video gives some very interesting tips. I think it could help

https://link-to.net/46078/8

Wow lots of good advice! Thank you everyone!

To clarify a few things - he's mobile, very much so. He overdoes it which I think is why his pain is worse some days than others. But... I gave up nagging him about that weeks ago! His surgeon said he can do everything he wants but no jogging/running yet which the PT wanted him to start doing.

I offered to just leave the TV on all night. I think turning it off and back on is what wakes me up. Sleep in separate rooms... never! He will go sleep on the couch but he would never sleep in the guest room or want me to. Over the weekend he tried Melatonin again and it seemed to help one night but not the next. I bought him the kind that dissolves in your mouth so he could take it in the night. The dr said 10 mgs so that's what he took.

He goes to his PCP this week and has planned to talk to him about a sleep aid. I think he is just out of rhythm after months of this. He needs to get back into a good sleep pattern and I think that will really help. So a drug at this point might be the only thing that can help. I'm glad for those who said it helped them and was non-addictive.

Oh and he LOVES that Sleepytime tea! Unfortunately his problem isn't falling asleep - he does that quite easily!

When I work out too hard, I will not have any trouble falling asleep, but I will often wake up after about 4 hours and can't go back to sleep.

This may not be of help for your husband, share, but perhaps someone else may benefit. There's something about a heating pad on top of me that helps me relax and fall asleep. A lot of people swear by weighted blankets, maybe the sleeping pad works in a similar manner.

If your DH's problem is staying asleep, I definitely think the magnesium would be worth trying.

I have been taking magnesium before bedtime and really find it helps. Worth a try.

I have some magnesium on hand. I think I'll try it too!

Dr prescribed Ativan... he's taken that before for anxiety so at least we know he can tolerate it and it has helped him in the past.

Fingers crossed!

Thanks again everyone for your kind responses and suggestions!