I can't answer so while we are waiting I just want to say that that gift is a hoot.

I think because you are the Mom and MIL and this is essentially a gag gift, I don't think others would mind. It would get a good laugh.

I've been to a grand total of two reveals now ;0) I'd never heard of one before being invited to the first. I did take a gift that day - but knowing gifts weren't expected and just because I wanted to. Had seen a stuffie (animal) in the perfect color for what I knew was happening to the nursery. There were a few with gifts, several without, and no one paid any attention that I could see.

We just went to one two weeks ago. A couple we're quite close to (nephew) and were involved with their Spring wedding, the house they're building, we've been doing much with them and for them as they begin this chapter of their lives. I didn't take a gift. No one cared any more than the first party where I did take a gift. I hadn't had a chance to shop, & I thought the reveal was somewhat early (4 months), nothing for the baby's room or baby had been purchased yet. I didn't have a clue what colors mom-to-be might be choosing, nursery is still builders white and unfurnished in their brand new house they have just moved into....and are still not quite unpacked.

I think she may do some 'blues' though ;0)

I think your gift would be fun to take, and would certainly take it if it were me.

I vote take it!

A new kind of party celebration, one I find somewhat odd. Many pregnant parents don't want to know the gender of an expected baby, and many others who do don't find it information they want to broadcast. Do whatever, it's hardly something for which there are traditions.

Gender Reveal parties have been quite popular the past few years. Some are grand affairs, others small, intimate celebrations. I've attended both. Often the expectant parents don't know the gender until the party. A relative of mine is an ultrasound tech who works in a large OB/GYN practice and says 4 out of 10 have reveal parties of some sort.

I vote to take the onsie! Love what it says!

What Director of Marketing thought up 'gender reveal? Is nothing personal anymore?

I wouldn't even set up a crib until after the baby was born.

That’s a cute onesie but I think it’s more something to bring to the hospital when baby arrives.

Congrats, Grandma!

Gender reveal parties...just google it and lots of party ideas and ways to reveal for the party come up. Been popular for years! Gag gifts...and so cute and clever....are OK anywhere....anytime! Bring it! It will add more fun to the party!

Since the Edit Function doesn't work, I'll just add that this feels presumptuous to me. The sonogram of a fetus *may* lead to the delivery of a healthy, living child -- which IS cause for celebration. I'm not superstitious, but this feels oddly 'public' for something so intimate.

Was the public privy to the conception? Is everyone invited to attend the delivery? This starts to feel like 'performance art'. Can any baby live up to the hype?

I would bring the gift, but in case nobody else did give it to the couple in private.

A guy that delivers stock to our store did a gender reveal but it was only for his children: nobody else. They recorded it and put the video on YouTube. I loved this one the best because it only involved his 3 other children, his wife and himself.

The daughters reaction is the best. And the comment the older boy made gave me goosebumps. The little guy in the middle? He just wanted cupcakes... lol

Baby Reveal

@debby - The daughters reaction is the best, I actually teared up at it.

The baby is about 8 months old now, and the parents have to fight the older daughter for the baby. She dotes over her little sister like crazy!

chisue, maybe it has to do with the way young adults have grown up. They have never known life without the internet and many of them share much about their lives that older generations wouldn't have considering doing. They share pretty much everything on the internet, and by extension in their real lives, and very little is kept private these days; thankfully the act of conception still is...most of the time.

As for the gift, I'd bring it. If you don't feel comfortable giving it to them in front of the other gifts, you can always wait for a private (ha!) moment and give it to them then.

I'm with you, Chisue. I've found this new reason for a party pretty odd.

This is the funniest gender reveal cake I've seen that also shows the (in my opinion) absurdity of the idea.

This is an interesting article about gender reveal parties and the woman who popularized them.

https://www.npr.org/2019/07/28/745990073/woman-who-popularized-gender-reveal-parties-says-her-views-on-gender-have-change

Chisue, I think it is an odd reason to have a party also. Doesn't anyone just have a party to have a party anymore?

It's go with the flow. I also grew up with the never having showers, getting furniture or setting up the nursery ahead of time.

I think they are silly but harmless.

I've had some losses, so next pregnancy, I'm not doing anything until the baby is viable outside the womb. No names, no nursery, no showers. Preferably not tell anyone but I don't know if I can physically hide it that long, lol.

For me, in the Jewish tradition in which I have lived, it's more than odd; it actually may draw the attention of the evil eye to the baby. You announce, quietly, that you are pregnant, and then hedge after that about details, and certainly about the due date! Nothing is purchased or prepared until the baby is born. People don't have baby showers. Of course, today young Jewish couples, especially if they are secular and outside Israel, vary in their traditions.

My first child was born while I was living in Israel, and following the cues of my husband, my MIL (yikes!), our friends, and the society in general, I did nothing but carry and bear the baby. After he was born, DH and MIL took care of shopping for everything and outfitting our home.

Chi - I wish you good luck in the future; I completely understand your attitude!

Back when I had mine (they will be 28, 25 and 19) sonograms weren’t very clear. We were asked if we wanted to know the gender each time. We declined each time. My husband came from a very patriarchal family. It was nice for me to know that he really felt as I did about the whole thing. It didn’t matter. We have two beautiful adult daughters and a beautiful soon to be 19 year old son. We liked being surprised.

To each his own though. My oldest daughter has told me to prepare myself. If the day comes for her (I hope one day) she’ll be doing the gender reveal ;-) And that will be fine with me.

Cute video Debby. I would take the gift along but give it to them before guests arrive or after they leave.

I'm very sorry for your lost Chi, best of luck to you. I hope all goes well for you.

Michele, how did you expect your husband's coming from a tradition you consider to have been patriarchal (as was probably more common than not some years ago and earlier) to affect his view of his children? Just curious.

"... maybe it has to do with the way young adults have grown up. They have never known life without the internet and many of them share much about their lives that older generations wouldn't have considering doing."

Ha! Spend some time looking through old newspapers online, like on Newspapers.com. You'd be amazed at the stuff that was published! It was common to publish hospital admissions (with the reason why) and discharges; who was visiting with whom; etc., complete with home addresses. And those are mild compared to things I've seen.

DD and DSIL invited only grandparents to the reveals.

Grandmas get a pass on any present etiquette. We like to spoil. Most grandmas bring "a little something" for the baby to be nearly every time they visit or see their expectant children. At least Gramma R and I did. LOL

With the second child they pranked us by showing a sonogram of the firstborn who was a girl. Then after we congratulated almost 2 year old grand daughter on getting a new little sister she proudly brought out a huge present for the new baby with her daddy which she proceeded to unwrap. Out popped a bunch of blue balloons.

Watchmelol, yea we do like to spoil. That is our job.

When I had an ultrasound when I was carrying my daughter, I told the operator that if he had any idea of the baby''s gender, I didn't want to know. To me, it's like knowing what your Christmas present is going to be in June: kind of takes a little of the shine off.

A friend who was pregnant at the same time was told she was expecting a girl, so she and her husband bought a shedload of pink baby clothes and couldn't afford to replace them when their very butch looking boy was born.

I agree with chisue's comment and disagree with two others.

dawn, I don't think whether new parents did or didn't grow up with the internet matters. I think there are adults of more typical parenting ages (let's say under 40) who live their lives with "popular culture" and its trends as a constant companion and reference. There are also those who don't. Those who don't really don't. So-called "reveal" parties aren't part of what they or like minded people do, regardless of age.

lindsey, hospital admissions reported in the newspaper? I never saw such a thing in my lifetime, and have been a newspaper reader in urban areas since the late 50s. If you're referring to before then, or in small towns, then that can be different from what my experiences were. The fact that that was published in some places is quite a different time in the reproductive cycle than having a party during the second trimester.

I was 'Society Editor' (and Girl of All Work) at a suburban Chicago weekly. The PC police and Identity Theft folks would have had a fit at what we printed as Neighborhood News, all of it contributed by the individuals involved. Every life event was reported and printed. There were births, deaths, graduations, but also reports of who was visiting from out of town, and who from here was visiting somewhere else. Were the So-and-so's planning to attend Junior's graduation at XYZ college? Yes, that was printed -- because *they* submitted it.

Our weekly avoided printing 'scandal', but catered to its subscribers desire for chit-chat. There was a small factual squib and zero follow-up after Mrs. Local Shopkeeper murdered her not-so-dear husband. (When she was released from prison, she simply 'had returned home'.)

Readers did expect every detail about every wedding -- including attire, flowers, how many guests were entertained at the reception, and what was served for dinner! Of course there was a police blotter, but no hospital lists. People did say they had visited Mrs. Whosis who was 'recuperating' in hospital, or at home.

Debby that video was so sweet!

Elmer! My response has disappeared! This happens all the time.

I’ll try to make a long story short. I’m not exaggerating. My husband ( and his siblings) had a lot of pressure to stick to the old ways. His father was very unwelcoming. If my husband did what was expected of him he would have split with me. Well eight and a half years later (we lived together for several) we got married. Haha! The culture obviously values males over females. I was told numerous times when expecting by their visiting friends and family “I’m praying for a boy”

I was trying to relate that it was reassuring to know that my husband’s only concern was the same as mine. That we be blessed with a healthy child.

By the way, I would respectfully and politely (very important) ask that they pray for a healthy child.

What did sticking "to the old ways" involve?

Oh yes, way back when there were women, that would write a newspaper column about what when on in the area, who visited who, who had a party, and all sorts of things and it was nice to read. Also birth announcements and who was in the hospital and the hospital did put both in the paper and parents could put in birth announcements with pictures, each of my babies had birth announcement. So it was very common to do that way back then, 40 years or more ago. The only Reveal Party I have been to was one I gave for my youngest daughter, then it was only her sisters, brother and family here. No gifts, just food and the cake, it was pink!

Sue

Texas Gem, that's the funniest cake I've seen in a very long time :)

It was culture shock for me when I first met them. When greeting people, you greet men first. When serving something, always men first. Arranged marriages. Men sit together in the living room, women in the kitchen. In church, the men on one side, the women on the other. I could go on.

My parents were immigrants as well. Totally opposite experience.( One of the few where women could own property way back when) I never remember a time where I perceived being female was inferior. Watching the interaction between my relatives, I could see that women were just as respected.

I’m not sure I’m relaying this clearly, but it really was so bizarre to me. Many a time my husband got an earful on the car ride home in those early days. I’d vow to never step foot in that place again! What can you do? Love wins.

Re: "society" columns: I grew up in a city, knew the surrounding neighbors, but not many beyond those, didn't really know about other people's lives. Got married and moved to a TINY town for my husband's work (he was from L.A.).

We rented a house from a nice but very traditional, small town couple. Across the street lived a woman (my landlady's cousin) who wrote about social events in the small town. All the small towns in the county had a column reporting on "people" news every week.

Since we were not from the area, our friends from the city would come to visit and were mostly what/who our social life included. The INSTANT a car would leave our driveway, the neighbor would call (we were also on the same party line- the only thing available in such a rural place) and start asking questions about who was visiting us. If she heard from our landlord that we were away, the INSTANT we drove into the driveway our phone would be ringing with her wanting details of our trip. She'd even call after we'd have dinner guests wanting to know details.

OMG, it was awful. I tried to be polite about it at first, even though I found it bizarre. No one but our landlords and their grown children even knew who we were and I told her so. No one would be interested in our comings and goings. She was undeterred. Finally, I had to just flat out refuse to give her details. Like I said, totally bizarre to me to report the minutia of anyone's life, let alone mine.

Very interesting, thanks.

Can you say what the ethnicity is of those with these habits you describe?

What has been typical of the immigrant experience in the US, though not exclusively so, is that no matter what the origin is of the people that arrive, the arrivees themselves and subsequent generations tend to move away from the old country practices. Including religious ones. They become more homogenized with their communities as assimilated Americans.

Back to the subject at hand: No, I wouldn't bring the gift. Yes, it's cute in a corny sort of way, and you could give it at any other gift-giving occasion or even for no reason at all. Because you're family.

But I think the gender reveal party is just that and not the time for gift giving. To me, it's almost a distraction from the parents-to-be and their joy of the upcoming event.

I think the gift is hilarious! I would bring it. It is not showy, just funny and thoughtful. If you said I have this 500 stroller I would say no, do it in private.

I find sableincal's comments very interesting. I am an Ashkenazi Jew by birth but only discovered that I am recently. I am just beginning to learn more about the customs/ beliefs.