I think responses are going to be all over the map here, because we each have a different "relationship" with phone usage. What works for you might not work for me. What annoys you might not make a bit of difference to me (and vice versa).

I'll tell ya what really chapped my hide, and that was being unknowingly added to our local "community alert broadcast", which has on two occasions gotten me out of bed after midnight to answer the landline, only to be greeted with a recorded message advising me of a missing person in the community. So what am I supposed to do, get dressed and go out looking? Ridiculous! And the only way to remove myself from this list was to call the city and have them send me a form to complete, requesting an opt out. And this, after being "chastised" by the person on the other end of the line for not wanting to keep abreast of happenings in my community. Gah!

I simply leave my phone out of the bedroom.

It's my alarm. I have several that I set depending on day of the week, which kid(s) I'm waking up for school, or other plans. Regular alarm clocks don't offer that flexibility.

Okay. I'll hold off sending an email to him. I still think it was inconsiderate, no one is going to change my feeling about that. I'll offer Localeater's recommendation for the scheduling app if I end up chatting with him about the subject.

FWIW, the other teachers were sending reviews for what they were doing in class the next day. I didn't say "don't send" but let them know that my kid was already in bed at those hours and wouldn't be able to utilize the information before class, as intended.

What Feathers said.

Wow... I don't care at all what time someone texts/emails me. People are busy and send things when they can. Maybe part of it is I am used to getting work texts/emails from diff time zones, but it would never occur to me to be annoyed. A phone call --- that is another matter. I just adjust my settings, some automatically and some manually.

Androids have the ability to schedule texts to go out at specific times. Friends were unsure if Apple did or not. Perhaps suggest this to the teachers?

I love being able to do this when I get a thought that "needs" sent to my kids in the middle of the night, I can schedule it to go to them at 9 am or whatever,

Wow... I don't care at all what time someone texts/emails me.

I don't care when someone emails me, either. Like I said above, texts/calls are treated the same by us and those we know.

Does the subject not matter, either? What woke me today was emailed to everyone last week by the school. He didn't need to send the text, at all. "Get your hair did!"

Do not disturb is back on, so you won't see anymore grumpy whining about notifications in the wee hours!

To Schedule outbound texts on an iphone, you *do* need an app .. but it's free. It's called "Scheduled."

I understand the annoyance factor. In 'the old days' that type of school pic reminder would have come on a paper bulletin, crumpled in the bottom of your child's backpack. You'd see it when you went through the backpack (if you were that kind of parent!) or when your child remembered - usually after the fact!

That said, the world is changing and although we may use our phones in different ways, for good or ill phones hold all the methods of communication and the idea of 'appropriate time' is blurred and no longer has universal meaning. That's in part because of time-zone blur but also because the phone holder has the power of multiple ways to determine message delivery convenience. If I shut off my Do Not Disturb for whatever reason, I can't blame the middle of the night texter for disturbing my sleep when maybe they specifically get up at odd hours (perhaps before their own children are up) to get some uninterrupted work done.

My phone lives on my nightstand at night and is my alarm when needed. The only thing to get through my DND settings would be a text from chosen family members or a call that is repeated 3x, all of which would be an indication of something important to wake up for.

Teachers and doctors are two professions that I (barring abuse) completely defer to, lol. I certainly didn’t go to medical school, and while I have a master’s degree, I wouldn’t presume to offer an (underpaid/overworked) teacher advice on how to best do her job.

I‘d “dnd” my texts at night, be grateful my child’s teacher cares enough to communicate, and concern myself with more pressing matters. :)

“ What woke me today was emailed to everyone last week by the school. He didn't need to send the text, at all. "Get your hair did!"”

I can guarantee you that if a reminder is sent every day for 2 weeks before a school event, there will still be some kids who arrive unprepared. Your kids are lucky that you stay interested in their school schedule. Trust me when I say every child isn’t that fortunate.

I‘d “dnd” my texts at night, be grateful my child’s teacher cares enough to communicate, and concern myself with more pressing matters. :)

Yes, but also I do want to say that GW is also a venue for no-holds-barred whining. That keeps us on the straight and narrow IRL if we can start by b!thcing here.

As far as teacher communication, yes, I would absolutely love to have more meaningful communication from my kids teachers. I would absolutely welcome a teacher talking to me about my kid (but also understand how many kids they are working with and my kids are generally okay).

However, texts at odd hours seem to me to work against what a teacher needs from their students. A kid needs to arrive to class well rested and ready to learn and thus I think texts should not go out after 8 p.m.or before 6 a.m. There are so many studies about how that ping sound interferes with sleep patterns, etc. I try to teach my kids about boundaries and respect and I think that phone calls outside of those hours go against that concept. Likewise, parents should not be texting their kids during school hours. I could see there might be an extremely rare occasion where it might be necessary to send a text about something that is related to the classroom and their education and I would probably make allowances for that, but picture day is an extra-thing and if my kids not perfectly done on that day, oh well.

My 2 youngest kids do not have phones yet. The 2nd oldest has to have her phone in her room as it is hooked up to her diabetes tech and alarms as necessary. My phone has to be by my bed because that kids tech alarms through me too (in case she does not wake up). My 15 year old will likely get a phone for Christmas because he will be driving soon and I think the phone will have to be handed over to me at bedtime. If a teacher were sending out texts, we would not even know.

I like the idea of the app. How would that not be a perfect solution all around? The teacher can create the text at his/her convenience, but send it at a more convenient time for the recipient.

I would bring this up at the PTA meeting. To be woken up for a text about school pictures, seems unreasonable to me.

My question though is, if this is a group message, are you then getting all the responses (if any) from the other parents?

For me, I would prefer to be emailed. I turn off notification for emails, but would rather not for my test messages. Since we all email from our phones anyway, why can't these be sent through email?

“I think texts should not go out after 8 p.m.or before 6 a.m“

Yes this. Communication is great but I think everyone should practice some etiquette.

Teacher last year enjoyed sending unimportant chirpy texts out at 4 am. I kept my mouth shut but turned phone to dnd and adjusted to to allow calls for certain people to come through if needed.

Eh, I can't work up any outrage on this topic for two reasons:

- One of the big reasons people text instead of calling is that the recipient can read the text at his or her convenience.

- I don't keep my phone in the bedroom at night because I don't want to be disturbed while I'm sleeping.

Honestly, this sounds like a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't thing for the teacher. If the teacher doesn't send anything, people complain; if the teacher sends a message at a time others consider inconvenient, people complain. For what it's worth, the teacher was probably already at school at 5:45. I was at school that early today, and I will be at school that early again tomorrow -- I hate those late mornings, but the rest of the week I'll be able to laze in at 6:30.

I get that she's busy with all of her extra duties but, I honestly don't care. She's choosing to over-schedule herself, not me.

Well, you're in the majority in not caring about the teacher's schedule, but neither you nor I know whether she "chose" to over-schedule herself. Every year I teacher, more and more committees, paperwork and requirements are added to my plate.

It was about school pictures. Hardly necessary information from the language arts teacher.

For what it's worth, I bet the ELA teacher is also the yearbook advisor.

It's my alarm. I have several that I set depending on day of the week, which kid(s) I'm waking up for school, or other plans. Regular alarm clocks don't offer that flexibility.

So adjust your settings in such a way that your alarm will sound, while other functions are silent.

You CAN get a regular alarm that can hold multiple alarm settings. I have such an alarm.

Students with phones is a HUGE issue. They do not seem to be taught that because they get a text does not mean they are expected to respond to it THEN. Your child's phone should not be on once they go to bed--teachers are the least of your issue. Teens text and snap all night long. A text is sent. It is YOUR CHOICE to read and respond and I am sure said teacher would be perfectly fine for you to read it when YOU decide you are ready to. Same with email. They are there waiting when YOU ARE READY. This is your lack of ability to turn your phone off or ignore it. You will never control when other's use your number. You can only control when you choose to interact/read/respond.

A kid needs to arrive to class well rested and ready to learn and thus I think texts should not go out after 8 p.m.or before 6 a.m

If a teacher were sending out texts, we would not even know.

I've accepted that I'm in the minority, but I abide by the first quote I bolded. It's why my kids are in bed earlier than their friends. I feel it disrespects the teacher and their time for kids to fall asleep in class or be so tired that they're disruptive, or out of it.

My 15 y/o daughter is the only one with a phone, so far, and it charges in the living room at night. She won't see any texts until she thinks to look at it in the morning, probably at the bus stop!

I’m with those who use DND overnight for almost everyone on my contact list, so I don’t care what time the texts come in and they don’t wake me up. I read them at my leisure. Seems like a really easy solution and is, in my mind, better than mentioning it to the teacher.

Has anyone given thought that these teachers work all day and then come home to their busy families. Quite often, they are sending out those texts at odd hours because it is the only time they are available to do so. Late at night because they have just got their own kids to bed or early in the morning before they get their kids and themselves off for the day.

Think about it ....... they are up and working for your child late at night and early in the morning. Be grateful they are working hard for your child!!!

Count me among those that see this as business as usual. And coming from a teacher, I’d appreciate it even more than other texts and emails, as teachers have to squeeze in so much in the course of a day.

Yes. It'd be nice if this morning's had been put way down on the list of priorities, where it belongs. On the other hand, my teachers were able to impart information without ever texting or emailing. We were held accountable. It's funny, there's been a lot more hand-holding from high school teachers than elementary through jr. high. From certain teachers, there are constant reminders about assignments for my older two, but none at all for my youngest. It's good to know for when I need to crack the whip but I can see it having a negative consequence with my oldest. She seems to think that everyone in her life should constantly remind her of her responsibilities, or at least that's how it seems when I hold her accountable!

For basic info, the lower grades used/use email, or called if there was something serious to talk about.

I'm in agreement with Oakley, Mrs Pete and especially minorad. I can't countenance being cranky and snappy about a teacher who is awake super early and trying to connect with kids or parents by sending helpful updates. Obviously she doesn't think or expect that her moms and dads need to or indeed are allowing their devices to wake them up at that hour for any and all notifications. Seems so petty to get annoyed because it interrupts your sleep when you can easily set up your device(s) or just put them somewhere else....sorry but can't generate any sympathy whatsoever on this one.

I get that she's busy with all of her extra duties but, I honestly don't care. She's choosing to over-schedule herself, not me.

Wow.

This one strikes me as one more depressing example of today's general lack of empathy and respect--a parent pissed off because you are getting information at an inconvenient time....SMH indeed.

Sorry, we are assuming too much. Maybe this teacher is young and single?

I am surprised that people here think it is okay to send a text at 4:00AM that is not is not an emergency.

And, then assume that if you don't like it you should figure out DND etc. for yourself. Maybe the recipient can't due to emergency family reasons and needs to keep communication open 24/7?

I am not understanding why a simple scheduling app can't be incorporated here? Problem solved at both ends.

Alex, I am still with you.

Alex I think many of your concerns should be addressed. I am especially concerned with your oldest needing and expecting reminders, because this is how things are being set up.

Not the same, but still...When my DD's were in middle school there was a huge assignment that entailed creating an exhibit. It was clear that the kids were not creating the giant pyramids, life size mummies etc. When it was my youngest ones turn for this, I went to the meeting and complained. They did listen and her year they put a size limit. And, although they encouraged parent participation in this project that was open to the public no less, they made it clear that this is the student's project, so minimum help.

This one strikes me as one more depressing example of today's general lack of empathy and respect--a parent pissed off because you are getting information at an inconvenient time....SMH indeed.

This was referencing her being bent out of shape, a year later, when I asked her (edit: I didn't really ask, just let her know that my kid wasn't getting the benefit of that info because she was in bed by then) not to send reviews for the next day, at 930pm. My kid was asleep, so that she was rested for the long day ahead. Seven hours at school, 2-4 hours of homework, and I'm the one who lacks empathy? It's her business how she structures her day and the fact that she decides to take on several activities outside of her job is not my problem or my kid's, whose extra activities were dinner and a shower.

I think context is important. Defend the early text all you want by saying he's engaged in my kid's future. I've received two messages from this particular teacher. One with his room number for Meet the Teacher night and today's, about school pics.

“. Maybe the recipient can't due to emergency family reasons and needs to keep communication open 24/7.”

Why would the OP need to have this teacher‘s texts bing for emergency family reasons?

Go to contacts, put non family people on silent. Easy. Even easier may be to put all texts on silent except for family members.

I’m old, and hardly ever communicate personally through email anymore. My friends and family text. A lot. I may check my email a couple times a week, most emails are business related.

Maddie, I just went to my contacts to see if I could do what you are saying for individuals. I don't see an option on my phone on the individual's contact info.

iPhone...

1. Open Contacts, then select a contact.
2. Tap Edit, then tap Text Tone.
3. Choose an option under Alert Tones. (Choose none)
   To allow alerts for messages sent by this contact even when Do Not Disturb is on, turn on Emergency Bypass.

Make your family “favorites“ Then put it on DND and only allow calls & texts from your “favorites.” It’s quite easy. I wouldn’t have it any other way at night, bc I wouldn’t want to be woken up by wrong numbers, etc

(I said texts above but it‘s a school/teacher messaging app. so no phone numbers were given. )

I’m with Alex and I’d say I’m surprised by a few comments here but I’m not.

I don't regret venting, even though some of the responses came across a bit harsh or seemed to assume an intent that wasn't there, by me or the teacher. I've learned some things that will temper my expectations in the future.

It hasn't been a pattern with this guy, so I'll chalk it up to his feeling extra peppy this morning and me feeling the exact opposite!

There are a couple of messaging apps that are used by the schools. I investigated some more and this one looks like he used it, but I only received the text (including his phone number) and not a notification on the app. By notification, I mean symbol at the top. The app was on DND. That's weird and probably some glitch, like when DH calls and it goes straight to voice mail, while my phone is free and never rings.

As I noted in the beginning, I usually have DND on overnight. I had to allow messaging over the weekend and forgot to reinstate it. I always allow calls, because I live a long way from my mom and want to make sure my family can reach me. Just in case. That hasn't always been great, like when I RSVP'd for my kid to go to a birthday party one evening and the mom called me SUPER early the next morning, asking who I was. I'd left a message but people don't listen to those like we did "in the old days."

I think more defined etiquette is welcome with telecommunications. I had a dad leave a message about getting our kids together, but didn't leave his number on the message. This was when we had a landline (haven't reinstated since Harvey) and didn't have caller ID. My kid asked for the phone number from his friend, the next day, but it wasn't a working number. The dad called a few weeks later, beginning the conversation talking about racial differences. Seems he thought I didn't want my kid (biracial, we're an adoptive family) playing with his, because I had an issue with white people! He stuttered a lot when I told him I was white and had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't make the connection that he was the guy who didn't leave his number, until after I hung up the phone.

Alex, I must say your response in the face of some very harsh words is nothing short of extremely gracious.

You made me chuckle, IdaClaire! I was guilty of reacting this morning, so I can hardly hold someone else to a higher standard. It would be nice if posters would read the comments instead of skimming, because there can be clarifying info to temper responses.

First, I will say I read very few of the other responses, but jeepers folks, it is so easy to set your phones so you don't get calls or messages between certain hours and you can include exceptions (I allow messages from my son and his wife at any time). Also, some people seem not to realize that the teacher has most likely not over-scheduled, but my guess would be she gets up that early. I always got up early to be at school at least an hour before our contract hours in order to get everything done for the day that I needed to do before kids arrive. I have a coleague who was always up by 5:00 am. Give that teacher a break. Teaching is harder than anyone who has never done it can imagine and more important than any other job I can think of right now.

If I sound harsh, so be it.

Cyn427, you made the point I just wrote. I agree that teaching is a demanding job. I always try to send rested kids to school. I keep up with their work. If there's an issue with a kid, I get the story from the teacher and we work together to resolve it. There are ALWAYS consequences at home for poor decisions. I just wish phone etiquette was a thing, and better defined.

Edit: Okay, how do you highlight a poster? I just want to clarify that Cyn and others are mixing up teachers. My oldest has the early riser, male language arts teacher this year. He's never sent class info using the messaging system/text. The one Cyn is referring to was sending class info, for the next day, later in the evening after her student was in bed. After a few texts, I sent her a private email explaining that my kid wasn't going to be able to utilize the info, as the teacher intended. I had a RECENT conversation with her because she has another kid of mine, this year. She made a big deal about how early my kids are in bed and that she has a lot on her plate with her various activities outside of work. I just laughed and said, "Well, B goes to bed early, too! He won't see any information if it's sent later in the evening."

I don’t give out my cell phone number to just anyone. Yes, my kids’ schools have it on file, but I don’t give it out with the understanding that teachers are going to be texting me in the middle of the night. That’s what email is for. I have had kids in four different private schools and I have never gotten a text from a teacher. All communication is via email or a phone call. No one, not my family, nor my friends, texts me in the middle of the night or super early for random things that can’t wait until morning. Just common courtesy. Dh travels frequently overseas and we never text each other when we know the other is sleeping. If we think of something we don’t want to forget before the other is awake, we send an email to each other.

I don’t put my phone on Do Not Disturb because I have kids in college and I’d hate for there to be an emergency and a stranger trying to reach me in which case texts/calls from unknown numbers would not come through. My daughter is currently studying abroad but normally goes to college on the west coast, a three hour time difference. Her roommate in Europe just spent five days in the hospital - she woke up in horrific pain (kidney infection). Had that been my daughter and I had my phone on DND, the director would not have been able to reach me for several hours since they are six hours ahead. Needless to say, my phone is next to my bed at night in case of emergency. I personally don’t see getting a text in the middle of the night/wee morning hours much different than a phone call. Would the teacher call in the middle of the night with such a message? There is absolutely no reason those messages could not have been sent out via email instead.

I’m with daisychain on this subject. It is not normal in my world for teachers to text me or my kids. The only texts I ever get from school are emergency alerts about school closings, delayed openings, etc in bad weather. My kids’ schools require them to have iPads and all communication is through a portal system that sends out emails for assignments, announcements, etc. Kids know from day one they have to be checking their email on a regular basis. It’s good training-that’s how my kids’ college professors communicate with them as well. As much as the younger generation eschews email and only uses social media to communicate with friends, they (at least my kids and their classmates) still need to rely on email for school communications.

I consider texts the same as a phone call in terms of “intrusian.” The sender has no way of knowing if you turned your phone off, set up blockers, if it’s left in the kitchen overnight or is on your nightstand. So my feeling is—-observe the same etiquette with texts as calling——you wouldn’t call a person at 4:49 am so you shouldn't be texting them either——unless you’re family and it’s an emergency.

I have not read all the responses. However, as an educator you are truly lucky any teacher is texting or calling you. During work hours you have zero time away from, a dozen different demands at all times. There are days when going to the bathroom is a major feat. Teachers are grossly underpaid for the amount of education, responsibility, emotional engagement, time, and shear amount of accountability that is required for the profession. If the teacher is sending texts at odd hours that's because that is the only free moment away from both professional and personal responsibility the teacher has. Put the phone on "do not disturb" the alarm will still ring and it can be set for certain important numbers to ring through.

The teachers for the children I help look after all have my cell phone and their parents, my clients', cell phone numbers in case of any problems. It is very normal at the Montessori school at my clients' children go to.

I absolutely keep my cell phone by my bed. I absolutely answer it if it rings and check it if someone texts. Anyone texting me in the middle of the night would definitely be for an emergency situation.

It's happened several times with my second youngest sister who has to date had a TIA a heart attack a stroke and most recently deadly kidney poisoning.

My other sister is now in the hospital with what they call lithium poisoning and I just had to take calls in the middle of the night about her as well.

Aging and mental illness for that matter, I wish they only belonged to the birds.

Some people are up at 5. 4:30 was our time for years, both having to commute to work. Odd though, my text notification does not make a sound. I would not have been woken up by getting a text. I don't much care for texts, too much trouble to try and type on that tiny device. I agree that tolerance for this would be all over the map. If you live heavily invested in your phone's texting as some I have seen, then of course you would be bothered by unimportant stuff. My text messages are few and far between and silent so I get them at my leisure. Emergencies in my life are an actual call. I would be bothered on the one hand but happy I got some communication from a teacher. I guess I like my phone to be mostly silent so that's how I have it set up.

Well, I think a phone call is different from a text message, especially texts that go out to groups.

To those who say that they have their phone on sound next to their bed, how do you deal with all these Chinese calls or the urgent calls from the IRS or Rachel?

I think it's inappropriate for anyone to text someone that early in the morning unless it's an emergency. BTW, if you have an iphone and have marked people in your contact list as "favorites", those calls and texts will still come through when you have your phone set to "do not disturb". Also, anyone who calls/texts three times will come through. But yes, I agree with you Alex. Especially strange to send such an early morning text about class photos.

"To those who say that they have their phone on sound next to their bed, how do you deal with all these Chinese calls or the urgent calls from the IRS or Rachel?"

Fortunately, I have yet to get those calls on my cell phone. I do, on rare occasion, get spam calls during the day (never at night) but don't answer my phone if i don't recognize the number. I know if it's important and not a spam call, they will leave a message or call back.

I understand that teachers work hard for little pay. I know that, and I appreciate that, and the fact that they often go above and beyond the call of duty to educate other people's children. Most people who work for a living work hard and are not always compensated adequately. That really has no bearing on what time a person sends texts, however. I'm up at 5am daily, and wouldn't dream of texting colleagues then. My work group travels extensively and there are constant communications between the group; however, in only very rare circumstances has anyone ever texted when others are likely to be sleeping (and those have definitely been work-related emergencies requiring immediate attention). I believe that most people who transact business with others know that a wee-hours text to relay some non-urgent bit of information is inappropriate. I am really surprised at the comments indicating that teachers should somehow "get a pass", because they're up early and working hard. Well, so are millions of other people (and millions more are sleeping!).

I guess it depends on your phone use and savvy. I just get the texts sent, I review them when I get a chance, so a 4:30 text would have no impact on my phone, I might see it at around 8 AM when I am lucid enough to read. So that's what's baffling to me. But if I was up and at 'em and reading my texts first thing in the morning . . . I dunno I still wouldn't be all that miffed about a school photo reminder. But to each his own. No one will be getting 4 AM texts from me now, as if that was ever even a possibility!

Gotta go to class where I'll be all afternoon from 12-4, but educator here, and I am up early. Teachers are at work at 7 a.m. here so if they are texting or emailing at 5 a.m. it is because they are UP and getting ready to go to school! And, if like me, you have a huge chunk of time you are not available, good luck with that.

And I am pretty much every night during the school year working until 9 or 10 p.m. or even later. I try not to send any emails after 9 p.m. or before 6 a.m., but I get plenty during those times. I am really trying to be conscious of downtime, but other people either do not or have to work around different timelines.

I don't think it has anything to do with "savviness" or lack thereof. We just use our phones differently, that's all. I think the more that people recognize that, the more conscientious they can be about not disturbing someone unnecessarily.

I know that most aren't reading my clarifications but I'll add that I didn't contact the teachers who sent late evening (930-10ish) texts, last year, until they included that the information sent would be used/needed in class the next day. They assumed a 14 y/o was up, or would remain awake, to go over the material in order to be prepared. I let them know that my kid was in bed at that hour. One even asked DD what time she went to bed! Hahaha! I guess to make sure that I was telling the truth?

I'd be surprised if anyone thinks the above situations are appropriate for young kids, even in the case of the self-proclaimed, super-busy teacher that several are defending. By the way, we had a nice conversation the other day. It's okay if she's still irked.

I'm more than willing to take the heat on my reaction to the AM text.

Good for you.

Texting to students after 9 pm with class work? That speaks to an organization problem the teacher has and is imposing the cost on the students.

All teacher communication comes via the school portal for my children. No schoolwork related notices come before or after class, unless they are reminders for something out of the ordinary.

I don't have anything to add regarding the timing of texts from school. I do think it rather odd that they text at all though. Email seems more appropriate.

However, since this conversation also includes the general idea of what time to text is acceptable, I would like to point out that not everyone has a 9 to 5 life. A text sent at any time is going to get to many folks while they are sleeping. Is it okay to "disturb" them? Most 9 to 5ers would probably say that those people should set up their phones so that they aren't wakened at 10 AM or 5 PM, or whenever they are asleep, by a text. Yes, they should. So should everyone if a text will annoy them.