Many of the things mentioned, are from previous safety failures in farm management. He considers his farm clean to process meat. Uninspected, unobserved, the animal and meat handling could be anything! I have seen home butchering done in the barn aisle, carcass dropped onto an old bloody sheet or canvas to cut up for packages. No washing of the butcher person, he is wearing his overalls, old muddy barn boots as he wrestles the half and other portions onto some boards across sawhorses to cut up. Open air, lots of flies on the meat, because it is a warm spring or fall day. Flies come on over from the paddocks of contained animals amd manure in them. Yep, I REALLY want to get my meat from him! Actually, I no longer accepted dinner invites from those folks after helping with some job or just visiting!! You would never know about that "handling method" as you buy those little meat packages. Whining writer could do as others do, sell the portions of animal. Then he will have animal processed at the butcher location, customers pick up the finished product from the Gov't. inspected, licensed facility. It is not going to cost him any more at all. Gov't. Inspected can mean a lot of things, they are not all equal. However the place and methods get looked at now and again, better than nothing. Hiring regulations are to protect the worker. If a farmer or his family members use tools that are elderly, questionable with no safety guards or bad wiring, that is a family choice. Hired help should not be forced to work under those conditions. Power tools, by their design, are not something you let small kids or younger kids use. They come with manuals of safety, handling instructions that no one reads, to protect the user. Do the farm employers take time to do safety training of these employees, to use the various tools? Not often, if at all. Everyone already "knows" how to do farm stuff!! Kids seldom will argue with an elder person if told to do a job. Kids do not have the experience to spot dangers or understand the problems that might occur in doing a job the wrong way. They don't often think, period! Kids want to earn money, are not going to worry about the dangers they place themselves in, while doing that job. Plus kids forget what you said, ignore the directions they were given before, THINK for themselves. Original thought by kids might add to the dangers!! Their "kid brains" just work that way! Part of growing up is brain development, which can't happen before brain is ready to grow that way. Actual body development may hinder kids in trying to do things, they have different visual fields, motor skills. They often can't help how they think and react, just an age thing. Each grows up at their own speed, should not be grouped by age in all cases. Big size or older age, is NOT mature in body or thinking!! Adult farm workers may not read well, or have used this kind of tool or machine before. They SHOULD be shown how to use it, have the guards and safeties in place to protect them. I can't believe how often the safety features are over-ridden or removed to make it easier to get hurt. Yet it happens ALL THE TIME. I guess you have to protect people from themselves because they will hurt and kill themselves if not supervised. I will agree there are many conflicting and peculiarly written laws in farming. Still were always written for a good, original reason. Farming is about the most dangerous occupation in the US. I think deep-sea fishing is number one. So many places and ways to get hurt in any farming operation. Even if just reading the laws makes you think about your lack of meeting the rules, you might CHANGE a couple things to be better/safer, for yourself. As we live in the setting, we lose our discerning eye for danger. No longer see the repaired cords, long extensions run to get power in a location, double plugs on an outlet, jury-rigging to keep a tractor running, instead of REALLY fixing it right. Just keep rounding up the loose animals, not fixing fence. Climbing the ladder with missing or cracked treads. Not turning off the tractor to unhitch the wagon by ourself, on the hill, with brakes we never repaired. Taking constant chances, which so far have not broken the odds of survival. Yet stuff like this IS a source of danger, we have become used to it or ignore the dangers. The Gov't. gets involved because this thinking is so prevailing, bad stuff never is fixed, endagers the hired help. Not acceptable as safety in Industry, or on the "old farm" either. People die with ignoring safety. The original writing is totally a rant, no one gets to do everything his own way, anyplace. Many nations are much more strict than the US. The food chain is very vulnerable anyplace in the length. It does need checking, to keep things somewhat safer than you would ever see with self-governing along the way.

Kathy, I really like how you put it... "To me, when someone says they will pray for someone, it is an expression of compassion and caring. Even if the greater power does nothing, just the kindness and thoughtfulness of the person offering to pray is enough to comfort someone." I never really thought about the power of prayer till my son was severely burned. But so many strangers prayed for him (and our family) and I witnessed so many miracles during Jason's long recovery, that I will never doubt the power of prayer! Since then, I've seen it work many times. Jan, that saying " "no atheists in foxholes"" will always be true I think! As for folks who leave comments on stories in the news, I had to quit reading them as it just astounded me what some people would write. Made me sick actually. I am praying for those in that awful fire. Such a horrible tragedy. hugs, Karen

It is all so very tragic and heart wrenching - does remind you how powerless we are as humans against some of what mother nature doles out. I too have been very struck by the way the Japanese people have responded to this adversity in comparison to the American victims of Katrina based on the story the media presented on both. Something I saw on TV showed a petite, older couple in their 70's back at their home cleaning the floor on their hands and knees with a rag. My vision of Katrina was of people walking around complaining about their plight and the fact the government hadn't come to their rescue. I also saw images of the sleeping area in a shelter for homeless Japanese that was completely tidy and orderly. Katrina - shelter looked like a garbage dump. Certainly some very significant differences in culture if what the media depicts is accurate. I visited Japan a while back. Before I left I was reading about how little crime they have and how you wouldn't get your purse stolen even if you left it unattended. Well, I didn't mean to but I did leave my purse sitting by a chair in the hotel lobby and walked away. A while later I panicked of course that I didn't have my purse. I knew right where I'd left it - went back - still sitting there untouched. I loved Japan and the people I met there - so sad that the Japanese people are suffering now.

Hi LS - My heart continues to hurt for you. From your post, it appears the little foxes that are spoiling the vines keep multiplying. What a heartbreaking situation! Please allow me to add my voice to those who have written before me. I'd like to see you rest from this problem. I agree with the other ladies who have posted that there is NOTHING you can do to have a decent relationship with this woman and since she appears to be mentally ill, she will not likely forgive & forget any past wrongs (in her mind) that you have committed. In fact, she probably doesn't WANT to. Her anger and subsequent tantrums are the "power" tools which she implements in order to control your Dad. These manipulations may distract her from her own insecurities about your parents' marriage and relationship. In fact, she is probably so insecure about how she measures up to your mother in her husband's eyes that she would literally go more crazy if she didn't distract herself with anger & jealousy. On one hand, you can be thankful that her anger has not turned toward your father - she sounds like she could be very damaging in her angry outbursts. I predict that all of this anger will go somewhere inside her and I would not be surprised if she turns up gravely ill one of these days. Our bodies do not bode well flowing with bitterness, resentment and jealousy. Those emotions will eat any of us alive. I encourage you to be thankful for the times you get to speak with your father and the times that you might get to see him face-to-face. A relationship with him alone is much more valuable than one with her sitting there - she's a loose cannon, ready and willing to go off on a tangent - either real or imagined. I would also encourage you not to share this story with your father - it will only put him back in the middle between the two of you again and since he is trying his best to untangle himself from her and seek a renewed relationship with his side of the family, I would let him rest in peace on this one. Please do not beat yourself up any longer about the past conversation with your SM. I pray that the replies you have received on your post so far have bolstered your self-respect and ingrained in you that you did NOTHING wrong during that conversation with her during your father's illness. Even if there is a very minute possiblility that she has felt some embarrassment over what she "shared" with you during that conversation - it is probable that she is not capable of taking any responsibility for her own indiscretions, and so she blames you for "rejecting her friendship". A mind is a terrible thing to waste..... Mentally ill persons not on meds do not take responsibility for anything they may have done to hurt someone else - everything is about them and they somehow justify to themselves why they are the victim. Their finger only points one way: outward. There is no meeting people like this half-way. Please do not waste another minute of your life thinking about this woman. Move on in love with your father and share whatever moments that are available to you. He sounds like a loving father who is attempting to reconnect - sans his mentally ill wife. You are very fortunate that he has seen the light and he is very fortunate that you are a forgiving and caring daughter! This is the soil in which loving relationships grow. God bless you both! Many blessings!