Think the dark grey is the way to go. It actually has some greenish tones to it(or so it seems to my inexperienced eye) which blend well with the tile. It seems like the best match to make the grout "disappear". louisianapurchase, our countertops are Absolute Black Silk granite. Similar to Absolute black honed, but they have a bit of bumpy texture that we really liked.

Thank you for the picture sweetrain. the 1/2 strength bennington gray does look very nice. I'm probably going to do the halls/stairs elmira white and was trying to decide what to do for the family room/dining room. The kitchen is probably going to be RH silver sage or BM quiet moments: something in the grey/blue category. I thought about continuing the Elmira white but I'm used to pretty dark colors and I'm not sure how I would like that. My old kitchen/dining were Nantucket gray and family room was hamshire gray, but I want to steer away from all that green. I'll just have to wait for all the dry wall to go up and try some samples. I wonder how bleeker beige compares also.

"preference is porcelain - durable and easy on the budget)." Nothing you have mentioned is easy on the budget. 1) If your subfloor is wood have you checked deflection to see if tile is a option? Rip up, adding underlayment, baseboard R&R, cutting doors etc. will be required at a very substantial cost. 2) 18x18 tile requires minimal subfloor variation. Expect to pay $$$ to bring it within tolerances. Be sure to purchase rectified tiles for 18x18 yes again more $$ 3) You will need to find a installer capable of installing 18x18 tiles. I recommend a installer that uses a lippage tuning system. Again more $$. I suggest first have a professional tile shop (not a box store) give you a estimate for a large format tile installation. It is best to know the real world price of your project before making yourself nuts about the color. IMO

Definitely understand about budget. Replacing the cabinets is going to be the biggest line item, though, so it's something you want to do once and do right. Filling in the pass-through should be a relatively inexpensive task that will give you a much more functional layout. As for the sink, I think you will find that the corner becomes much MORE useful without a sink taking up so much space. The big triangle behind a corner sink is basically dead space with a faucet blocking it, but is useful if you can actually reach it as a regular counter.