So my friend (mentioned up thread) is the only one who just colored her hair her natural incoming color, until it all grew out? She never "transitioned", just went with it in one visit to the salon. Her hair is a really pretty white now.

I wish I could have silver/grey hair - I think it's beautiful!

Mine just keeps getting darker brown w/ a few silver threads scattered throughout, much like my dad's did. He had silver temples by the time he was in his 60s. Maybe that will happen to me.

It's thinning too, but that's another story.

Sorry nothing helpful to add, just my 2 cents = )

I started coloring my hair in my 20s. I can’t even picture what my hair would look like “au natural” now. I think I’m about 50% gray. I‘m not ready to stop coloring but sometimes I think about it because it can be a PITA between timing the appts and the $$$.

I ave medium freckled skin and dark brown eyes. I don’t think gray hair would look very nice on me.

Appreciating all the comments and suggestions shared. I guess IF I can continue holding out, the next time I go for a haircut/trim, I will ask and see what they suggest. I do think that lowlights and highlights might help the transition.

I did retire recently so there is that part of me that is less concerned, but I still do care about my looks. I suppose if it's obvious that I am growing out my hair I will try to take that approach. Who knows....it's only 5 weeks and counting. :)

I agree that switching to a rinse is the way to go. I dyed my hair from my 30s until I was 50, and by the time I was 50, it was light enough that it looked like platinum blond, and so I stripped all color and dyed it platinum blond. That was so close to my natural color that I just let it grow out after that.

Instead of a rinse, you can use henna, which is actually good for your hair, and it washes out gradually.

Many men dye their hair, and so I do not know why anyone would think that it is a burden that only women have to bear. Going bald is a burden that many more men have to bear than women, and so if you have hair to dye, be grateful for that. One of my brothers teased me for allowing my hair to go silver (I called it platinum blond), but I told him that at least I had hair, as this brother had already gone bald.

I saw a woman in San Francisco once (back in the 1980s) whose natural hair color was mostly likely salt and pepper, with the pepper part being jet black, and she had put a red henna rinse on it, which colors only the white part. The result was that her hair was a mix of red and black and looked a lot like fox fur. It was the most interesting hair color I have ever seen.

I have dark brown hair and have not covered by grey in about 2 years. My gray is mostly around my hairline and then sprinkled through the rest but not enough that when my hair is parted, you see a "skunk" line. One woman I know with dark hair has grown her hair out but using semi permanent color. She lightened her overall base color then has the grey covered with the semi permanent so it fades rather than seeing that demarcation line when it starts to grow out..

ETA: men coloring their hair...a big NO. I had one tenant who had that "skunk" line on his mustache!!

My hair was over processed and dull so in February 2018 I stopped coloring it. In December I went to the salon for some low lights - which helped cover the growth line. I miss the blonde highlights but my hair is definitely healthier. I’m 71 so I thought it was time!

I can tell you how the process went for me. I had my first gray at 16. I colored my hair a dark brown with reddish tint for many years, except for a brief respite during one of my pregnancies. I always colored it myself. As my 40th birthday approached, I decided that I really was not interested in the process any more. I loved the color for 1-2 weeks but then the roots and the color fading slightly, etc. At the time, my hair was around my shoulders and is naturally wavy/curly.

I had my hair cut into a shorter bob and just let it grow. I talked to my hairdresser about doing gray highlights and I really liked the idea but I never ended up having them done. Was it obvious that I was growing it out? Of course and people would ask me if that was what I was doing. I replied in the affirmative. Most people were quite kind with remarks such as I was awfully young to have that much gray, etc. As it grew out, the sun bleached out the hair with the permanent dye so the contrast was not nearly as pronounced. I also was a little more diligent in getting my hair cut to remove more of the artificial colors. It took roughly a year to get rid of all the fake color. I have to admit, going with the shorter cut brought out more fullness and life in the hair as well.

I am probably 90% gray now. There are sometimes I question my decision but for the most part I am happy with it. I do not miss the process of coloring it. I was coming closer to the time when I would need to pay a professional and I did not want to do that. Like Bunny mentioned, I do need to be a bit more conscientious about colors. When I purchased glasses, I purchased ones that would add a bit of color to my face (not dramatic but it does help). I no longer purchase things such as the light gray sweatshirts, but a dark charcoal gray still works well on me. Honestly, I was in a bit of a rut before and thus being more conscientious is a good thing. Somebody once commented to me that women who went prematurely gray and did not color it looked dumpy. I definitely know some women who fit that statement but when I was asking myself if I wanted to do this, when thinking of those women, they would look dumpy with colored hair as well as their hair cuts and clothing were not flattering. One draw back is that I am a shedder and the lighter colored hair does show up on my clothes and the floor more. I doubt that I will go back to coloring my hair but am seriously considering getting some peek-a-boor purple highlights now that they would actually show up.

I have gray hair that's almost to my waist now. Basically, it's because I'm lazy :-/

I did color for a while in my 20's to my late 30's. But it was mostly for fun--like being a member of the Clairol color-of-the-month club. I did ALL the colors.

I had it frosted when I tired of coloring it and that's how I got through the bad parts. Whatever you do, brush and style your hair back...the line is less noticeable than having a part.

I will tell you, as an incentive...I get, on average, one compliment a day. Whereas before, nobody noticed. It's a double edged sword because I very much dislike anybody "seeing" me.

Hang in there and join us! We have wine! And chocolate! And more free time!

<ETA: men coloring their hair...a big NO.>

Can anyone come up with a more sexist remark than this?

Lars, you might want to revisit your own comments over on the KT.

I am about six months into this transition. Began coloring my hair in my late twenties to hide the gray. I have fast-growing hair, and just three weeks after coloring, I would begin to see a very visible gray line. And then suddenly, inexplicably, just before my 60th birthday, one day I discovered I didn't mind the gray growth -it looked kind of pretty and sparkly to me. So I've let it grow. And I'm discovering that it feels like reclaiming my authentic self somehow. I don't always love it, every day. Nor did I love my hair many days prior to this. It's also a wonderful, daily reminder that transitions can be difficult, take time, and swing both up and down. There is a FB group, called Going Grey Gracefully, where you may find support, motivation and inspiration if you decide to take this journey.

^^^^ "And I'm discovering that it feels like reclaiming my authentic self somehow. I don't always love it, every day. Nor did I love my hair many days prior to this."

Yes yes yes. We all should do what ever makes us feel authentic and that does not mean everyone has to grow out their gray or everyone should color their hair when the first grays show up.

I don't know (and don't care) what was said on KT, but I have to agree that if women are perfectly free to color their hair with impunity, then so are men. There are countless men who color and highlight, just like we women do, and I see nothing wrong with it. If it makes them feel better about their appearance, more power to them. Now, I will say that I recently saw an elderly man with jet black hair that was so obvious I did a double-take, but there are ways for men to color their hair for a more natural look than that.

My own natural color is dark blonde with some silver/white streaks right in front. I do color my hair, as I'm not ready to go back to what nature has given me. I recently took a selfie and ran it through the filters on my phone to see what I'd look like with gray hair. I thought it was an attractive look, but it definitely made me look more mature. (I guess I just don't feel mature yet. ;-))

I have one college friend who never colored her hair and is 100% gray. Her hair is a great silver color and she is petite and cute and a stylish dresser. The rest of my friends color, mostly various shades of blonde. I am going to be a dissenter here because I was considering going 100% gray until I looked closely at one of our group pictures. The one friend with the gray hair looked ten years older than everyone else. Other friends looked at the picture and agreed. I’m going to wait a bit until I take the plunge.

There are suddenly a lot of gray transition pins popping up in my Pinterest feed - coincidence? I think not! I followed the link on one of them and thought this might be of interest to some of you.

http://www.rubann.com/transitioning-to-gray-hair/

Tish, having just seen you in person the other day at our GW lunch, I do have to say that your silvery gray hair is truly gorgeous! (She has the face of a 20 year old, though, lucky girl!)

DLM, that website is weird. It wouldn’t scroll down past the first paragraph or two.

Yes, gray hair will cause many people to assume you are older than your real years. It’s how we process and evaluate certain physical characteristics.

When I briefly colored my hair the best I could say about it was that it wasn’t gray, but the color wasn’t that great. Some folks can afford a really good multi-step color process and it can look fantastic. Mine didn’t. I’ve come to understand that really great hair comes in many colors, and sometimes that’s silver or steel, etc. I’m 73 and I’ll settle for looking good for my age, which I’m never coy about. I’m grateful for thick, healthy, shiny gray hair.

Bunny that's odd - were you able to get the website to work later? There is definitely good gray cover up and not so good - mine worked well for many years but I simply hit my limit and said I'm done. If one has all the time and $$ required for upkeep (and an exceptionally good colorist) anything is possible I suppose. You and I can be thick, shiny gray haired hotties ;-)

DLM, the website comes up, but on my iPad I can’t scroll up more than a couple of paragraphs before it starts to shudder and rolls back. Tomorrow I’ll try It on my laptop.

Beware the silver foxes!

I found a picture on that site of absolutely gorgeous color. I'm now thinking of having my stylist take me in a cooler direction. Just love this look!

That's very nice, IdaClaire, very intentional-looking.

I just went cold turkey when I let mine go gray. I'd been using henna for years for body and shine, but when my hair got too gray it just wouldn't stick well anymore. I talked to my stylist, who's primarily a colorist, although she never did mine because she didn't want to mess with henna and you can't use regular dye over henna, and that's what she advised.

Oddly, though, although my hair was entirely off-white when I went natural, now it's darkening, especially underneath.

Well I did it!!! My hairdresser started the process of helping me get to my natural color. She was never on board before. She said I was the fairest client she had, aka ..pale and it would not be a good look. She had cancelled my appointment for two months due to illness and a death in her family . So I had over an inch of growth, white shiny roots. She immediately went for it, I thought she'd try and talk me out of it. She hi lighted, bleached, toned and cut. My hair looks fine maybe even good. It will take a while to get all grown out. I wasn't sure I would be able to make the move but I read all these comments here and everyday went on Pinterest and U tube stay motivated. When its all done, I hope I feel as liberated as everyones says!

That's awesome, cran. Ida, that photo is awesome.

Still, I am just not ready yet.

Well, it's now about 9 or 10 weeks since I had my hair colored. It's definitely coming in gray/white and looking a bit awkward. Some days I use the root spray from loreal but I don't do a great job- just don't have it looks really bad.

I am trying to hold off as much as I can. I wish I had a hairdresser I trusted to ask what I should do, but we recently moved here I really don't have one.

I am ok with it, but we are planning a few vacations and the thought of walking around and seeing photos of big white roots is not feeling wonderful.

We shall see, but so far, I am holding out!

salonva - the answer is HATS! They are a great way to hide the skunk stripe :) Good luck with your change.

cran that's great! Sounds like your natural gray is somewhat like a platinum blonde - that's more or less how mine turned out, too. I bet it does look good!

salonva keep your eye out anywhere you go for women with nice cuts and/or color. It doesn't have to be your color or even a cut you would wear but if you notice a quality cut or style tell them you like it and ask where they get their hair done. People are flattered to be noticed and I've never met anyone who hesitated to share their stylist. Also, in your new area see if there is a local facebook or Nextdoor. We have a local fb garage sale group that is much more like a community bulletin board and although it's mostly people selling there are also requests for information (stylists, restaurants, veterinarians etc) all the time.

“I can always tell when a man of a certain age dyes his hair. I don't know why they do it.”

I know this comment was made way up thread, but really?

cran, I hope you’re happy with whichever way you go!

For those of you who use those cover up sprays, what brands have you tried and do you like them? I just purchased one last night, it was Loreal Magic Root Cover Up and it is kind of amazing how much grey it covered but I am wondering which ones are best. This one goes on kind of dull but the coverage is great. Its my first time trying something like this. Coloring my hair requires much too much effort and upkeep and is therefore not an option.

Ilikefriday- that 's the one I use. It was suggested to me and I find it works well enough. ( I don't use it daily, and I also find a dullness to it but it does work).

I do use nextdoor and other FB groups, but I guess I am just too picky. Kind of like decorating help. I seek it out and appreciate it but not everyone has my taste.

I have never been a hat person- will have to consider that!

I will definitely start noticing other women's hair and not be shy about where they go.

My goal is to go gray and I am fine with doing something for the shorter term. I may be naive but I would prefer long term if I am to be gray or some version of it, to do so naturally. I don't want to trade off coloring my hair every 4 weeks for highlighting every other month.

Well, I have shoulder length wavy to curly hair. About a year ago I had my hair blown out almost weekly or did a poor job of it myself. I gave that up and embraced my curly texture with a little help from a curl cream, but still colored with a root touch up every three weeks.

June 5th was the last time I colored. I went cold turkey. It looked horrible for the first couple of months. I think because it looked like I was just late on root touch up. Now that I have significant grow out it looks almost like a strange balayage style, silvery on top and warm blonde on the bottom. I now have my hair cut as short as possible, but still be able to pull it back. It is at the point that I could go short and be one silvery color, but I am not ready to give up on my length.

I truly love the freedom of not sitting in a salon every three weeks with gunk on my head and breathing the fumes, but I admit I sometimes feel that I look unkempt. I hate that feeling. I promised myself I would grow out the gray and then decide if I want to color again. I would love to add a little pink or purple to my ends, but I feel that is like a man buying a little red convertible sports car when he reaches a certain age. I may do it anyway.

Hcbm - color those ends and rock it!

I have a teal streak because my daughter wanted to do it...

My hair is starting to yellow on the bottom half lately due to heat and the water we have...I'm looking into ways to fix that. I tried purple shampoo and didn't like it.

Salonva I think you should go lighter first then the line of demarcation won't be as noticeable...and I so agree about the time you gain by not having to go get it done!

All grey now. I am lucky in that silver seems to be the shade that grows in our family. I colored for decades simply because I enjoyed having various colors on my head. I love flamboyant colors and styles. The silver I have now seems stylish enough that it feels good. And the money I save is so nice. Going grey is good!

After having headshot photos taken yesterday, I can't even imagine myself with gray hair yet.

I started coloring in my thirties, mostly to add body to my very straight hair, which is naturally very dark brown, almost black. As I started to gray, dealing with roots became a pain, and I got tired of the time and expense involved, and was wondering how it looked without color. Also, my hair tended to go red when it was colored, even with an ashy color put on it.

I had it cut shortish a couple of years ago, and it grew out fairly painlessly with about 50% gray. I love it, and wish I had done it sooner. Now at 65, I think my natural color looks better on me, with my medium light complexion and blue eyes. I’m definitely a “winter”.

At about age 76, 77 my mother decided to go gray. She struggled through with high and low lights but as soon as it was naturally gray, went right back to coloring!

Gscience, you are still working and certain things do matter.

I know those who are gray might disagree but.......you can look good with gray no doubt, but you do look "older." While in a career, this might not be the best approach. Especially if co-workers are younger. I have been taken for 5-10 years younger.

I'm not there yet, but I think when I hit 70, that might be my turning point. Unfortunately, mine with be salt and pepper. I personally don't like this on a woman. I do like all white and all silver/gray.

Just stopping back in- last color was Tuesday Nov 20. This Tuesday Feb 12 will be 12 weeks. My hair grows pretty slowly now that I see how much white I have coming in- I mean it's there but it's probably about an inch worth and to my surprise, it's not uniform at all. Some areas are pretty white and some are salt and pepper, and some are even mostly dark.

I haven't had a hair trim either (no salon visits ) so I think I will schedule one soon for at least a trim/shaping and hopefully get a good feel for a hairdresser. I do have some new friends who are a bit older and have gone gray so I will start asking about that.

I am trying to hold out as long as I can without coloring at all. I guess I will consider lowlights, highlights whatever if it starts looking really bizarre but I would prefer nothing. I don't love the way it's looking, but again to my surprise my daughter and my husband are both encouraging the go gray.

And Gscience and Eld, I do agree that if I was still working I would probably not be doing this. I would have continued coloring. Yes they knew I was not 35 but I think the gray would have really sealed my fate there. As it is, age discrimination is real. ( It was totally real in my experience)

pennydesign, have you tried a clarifying shampoo? We have well water and my stylist recommended it. He likes to lather it up and allow it to sit for about three minutes before rinsing.

That is a great point about still working.

I know those who are gray might disagree but ......you can look good with gray no doubt, but you do look "older." While in a career, this might not be the best approach.

Whether I am gray or not (I am) this makes me sad and angry regardless of whether it's true or not. Like so many other things, when will it change? Part of the power of change lies with us and the willingness to plow ahead and allow visual aging to actually happen. I colored my hair forever and just got sick of the constant upkeep to say nothing of the constant chemical exposure. I wear makeup every day, I style my hair pretty much every day, I work out, I care about the clothes I wear (although I'm far from a fashionista) and take care of my skin, hair, nails etc. so obviously am not saying we shouldn't care about our looks. Hair color is just another way to enhance or change our looks but NOT using it should not keep someone from a desired career any more than choosing not to wear nail polish or mascara should. When are we (people in general but women far more) ever going to be valued for what we bring to the table in talent and experience?

Yeah, I'm not so sure. I've seen some ladies wearing a shade of hair color that looks really wrong with their complexion. Stylists can blend and highlight the gray to really make it look great and trendy.

How much better does Arnold look without that weird greenish brown dyed hair.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6276647/Arnold-Schwarzenegger-71-looks-dapper-shows-natural-grey-locks-business-forum.html

There's a reason I have the name Raven! My hair is as black as a raven. When younger it was actually a blue black it was so black. I wore it long below my waist for years. Currently it's pretty short. I chose to not color and relish the silver. It has come in like a halo around my face. The back is still as black as ever. I am very happy with the colors I have been blesses with. This summer for a fun celebration of living through Harvey and surviving I had just the silver colored a beautiful purple. I got so many compliments. It was fun! It didn't last long and I am back to my normal.

When I was younger. Lots of black hair!

My fun purple!

It's sad that we cannot support each other without making comments to the effect of "I would NEVER go gray...it's so aging"....

Do what you need to do but don't disparage a look simply because it's not yours.

Whatsayyou, I have been using a clarifying shampoo specifically for water issues..I might have to give it longer on though, as you suggest :)

I hear the implied, For me, in threads like these. It’s a conversation.

hcbm - feel free to introduce me to the man of a certain age in a little red convertible. I won’t judge. I also won’t ride with the top down, though.

Sorry, right now I don't know anyone with a sports car. However, I was the middle aged women who bought the little blue s60 R Volvo six speed. Looked like a nice little sedan, but it wasn't it was a speed demon. Boy could that car move and handle the curves better than most sports cars.

And yes, I probably will add some purple or pink ends to my hair when its all grown out. I really wish you could color your hair without damage and have it truly wash out after a couple of weeks. I would love being different colors depending on my mood but still be natural when I want.