Just because you wrote a book on the subject, doesn't make it your claim to fame. While Ed Eby may not have written any books on the subject, they are the true founders of sansevieria as for collecting them. You can look up so many of the Koko, EB, Alva, and so many codes that were in existence before Grigsby or Hermione came upon this. Hermione has never collected much of the plant materials that she gives herself credit for. Many of these plants were in the hands of these collectors well before Hermione ever knew about them. I think the rest of you need to bush up on your history lessons as you don't really have facts, just CONCLUSIONS from what you have read. Juan Chahinian is the first person who actively grouped, and collected the laurentii group and documented this. Before this it was just word of mouth of what was what. You don't see any Grigsby's codes or numbers in any of these collectors, because they originated from Hawai'i and codes and numbers changed after coming into the hands of other collectors. Ed Eby had the largest collection of sansevierias amassed into one collection. His plants originated from Africa and before that, not in any collection worldwide. Just because something has been named, documented and labeled doesn't automatically make them being grown in botanical gardens. Back then you had to be a rare flower or some rare plant to be named after for a botanic garden to house it in its limited space conservatory. Get your facts straight, not everything was in botanic gardens even back when it was described. get real!

"Actually, there are a number of people who kill their husbands and get out after a few years, especially if the husband was abusive. It's not self-defense if she shoots him while he is asleep. I think the original poster sounded too upset to be making it up, not to mention the fact that she provided a lot of details that she probably wouldn't have bothered with had the story been false." TOS, as the original poster provided so many details (but missing the critical ones like the VISITORS?LIST on the VISITORS?ALLOWED MODULE) I don't think she would have forgotten to mention how many years her SM was in Jail for murdering her first husband or if she was convicted or even put to trial for it...She would have relished telling it. Anyway, details are not a guarantee of truth: as any mother or kindergarten teacher knows, the more elaborate the story, the more blatant the lie.

It seems to me that you are like two separate families living in the same house. That in her mind, it is "we" meaning her and her son, and "them" meaning you and your kids. Perhaps a counselor could help you and your wife an all of the kids to become a true family, where you are all working together as a family, caring about each other, and all following the same rules. You two need a "good" counselor to help achieve this goal, and for you and your wife to "come together" and parent these kids in a way where you feel you can trust her to be loving and fair with your children, and she can trust you to be loving and fair to Jordan. Perhaps a counselor could help you find ways to unite, such a holding family nights one night a week, where you play a short board game together or play music and sing and laugh together, and spend a few minutes having a family meeting talking about whatever the counselor says would be a healthy way to cover the families upcoming week. Anyway, as I thought about your your struggles, this is the thought that kept coming back to me. To somehow bring you and the children together as one family. I think that is how I would present it to your wife and the marriage counselor. Tell your wife that this is not working for you, or anyone in the house. Tell her that you believe that your marriage, and this family can be so much better, but that you need someone to help you both find your way to bringing this family together as one family, and coaching you both in how to accomplish this goal. Let the counselor help you learn how to handle discipline issues, and learn how to handle these situations in a way that you can both trust each other in this area. You sound like a good father, trying to do the right thing by your children and your wife. I fear that disengaging from Jordan may backfire, as it would seem easier to correct bad behavior now while he is so young, than deal with behavior that is ignored during his youth, and having these issues in a teenager that has never been dealt with.

RosieL, just want to put a disclaimer her.. I have no problems with the things you say. Even if I did, I'm not into bashing. I just like the discussion. You remind me of my mother, and I respect my mother very much...YOu make some very good points and I respect how you put children first... so this post is just to play 'devil's advocate' with one of your statments. I have some constructive cricticism.. (I think) on this statement you made... "I think that once we have children ... their well being comes before our happiness and love life. They will be with you for a very short wile and you will have the rest of your life for romancing. " I agree with that to some extent. I mean, I even find myself putting my only child, who happens to be my step son, before my own marriage as far as time, effort, patience, etc.. But isn't it true and important to realize that the children will be happiest when their parents are happy too? I mean, they need a happy home! And if mama ain't happy? lol. I don't think that means that a single parent should throw their kids around to different babbysiters while they go out on dates, etc... but clearly, that is not what is going on here. This person is VERY concerned about her childrens' feelings. The fact is, that she needs to rebuild her home and her marriage and I think she is right to do this for herself and for her daughter/children. LisRac states: "I love my husband and I want to try to make my marriage work. My husband went for counseling and realizes how things he did and things he said were hurtful. He knows he was wrong in a lot of his attitudes and wants to try and make it right (with counseling). I'm scared to hurt my kids or make them unhappy, although I know I can't make my decision based solely on a 12 year old's views." Sounds good to me! I think people get divorced because they give up to soon. That's my take. I think they go through a rough year, or in this case, have a very difficult time making a blended family work... and they simply give up. Listen, all families have problems. Even non-blended families. And no one is perfect. My parents have been 'happily' married for 40 years. God, it's like a fairy tale for them now that the kids are gone, but I remember a couple of those years being sort of... nasty... especially when my sister and I were oh, about... 12!!! I remember my sister hating my Dad for about 2 of those years. He had a lot of 'teasing' issues and picked on her for being lazy. Caused a lot of turmoil for the whole family. They both went into counseling, eventually. Now, she's (almost) Daddy's little girl too. I wouldn't trade my family for the world!! Makes me sick to think that my mom would have given up on my Dad just because my sister practically hated him for two years. Course back then I thought "you jerk!"... knowing what I know now and the kind of man and father he became to me. I'm so glad we never gave up and that we were able to forgive the mistakes that we ALL made. Of course, LisRac needs to be realistic about this man and really decide if this IS what is going to make her, then ultimately her children... happy! I don't know this man. But... he says he wants to try to make it work! Let him be a man and help make it work! LisRac has a chance to have a happy family. It is not going to be easy, and the children will need help through it all... but are they going to be better off without rebuilding a family? Are they not going to learn and grow and become stronger by going through these changes and accepting another human being...who they may even grow to love? ... into their lives? The potential is awesome. I mean, just think... if LisRac and her family work through this and rebuild their home... what a strong family that could be! That may seem a little idealistic... but I'm a glass is half-full kind of person, I guess!