I have only one son, whose birthday is next week. For the last maybe 20 years, I get him a few packages of the new season baseball cards, since that's his favorite sport. We usually go out to dinner, too, and I have a card. But someday soon, it will just be a card. No presents. When we didn't live close by, it was a call, no dinner.

If I had more kids to manage, I'd be scaled back to just a card. FWIW, I also will buy small presents during the year whenever, just because, as long as it is something that I KNOW he'll like.

Yes, as soon as my parents divorced, none of us kids seemed to get something for our birthday.

My kids, well, one daughter is married, and rather well off, and the other is struggling. The struggeler is still getting something for her birthday, and the other one knows... but only gets a call. She is fine with this.. as she knows, her sis needs help. The struggeler always gets gifts of something she really needs, plus I take her out for dinner. I will prolly always give her helpful stuff... just cause she needs it. No money however.

Moni

I don't have kids, but my Dad always gave us a check, up until the year he died. Even my DH and the other in-laws got checks.

My in-laws just send a card and usually call/text. It seems like they used to give a small token $, but somewhere along the line that stopped. I'm not sure when.

Anybody have approx, ages?

I've got kids, step kids, grand and great grand kids and steps. That's a lot o gifts! LOL. I stop all gifts at 18, with a "double" at that age, since I consider it a milestone. If there's a high school graduation after 18, they get a gift. Gifts are cash. The adults have never complained. I don't send cards of any kind, no problems, they know how I am LOL.

My two siblings and I are all late 30s-early 40s and married, with both sibs having their own kids. My parents still send each of us and our spouses a card for our birthdays with a $200 check inside, despite all of us telling them we are getting a bit old for it! My parents live near my siblings and I assume probably take them out for birthday dinners as well if schedules permit.

DH's mother (his only living parent) does not give him gifts and has not since he graduated high school. Her financial situation is not great, though, so we send her gift cards for her birthday and Christmas. DH has a 20 year old daughter from his first marriage and he still gives her birthday gifts/money and I'm sure will continue to do so in perpetuity.

I usually got a check and a home made card from my mother. One year though I was surprised with a really pretty bag she’d sewn for me. Inside was a set of knitting needles and a rug hook that my Grandmother had used to make us stuff with. It was my Grandmother who taught me how to work with yarn so that gift along with all the cards she made over the years are priceless to me.

I will never stop gifting my kids. I budget it for it each pay day. I love making birthdays special, as my parents did. :)

We give the grown kids a check in the amount of their age :) And the grands once they graduate from college, same routine. The little grands get dollar bills in their age amounts along with a check for their savings.

My parents and I exchanged birthday gifts up to the very end.

Our family give birthday gifts and we get together for dinner and for cake and ice cream to celebrate the birthday till death do us part.

There’s really no right answer to this. I think you should treat each birthday on a case-by-case basis, giving and/or doing whatever it is you’d like to at that particular time, regardless of the child’s age or income. As my mom’s always said, “How can something nice not be nice?” :)

My daughter is 37 and my son in law is 43. I send them a gift card to a restaurant, or sometimes take my daughter to lunch. She takes me to lunch on my birthday. I didn't come from a family of gift givers. I don't remember any birthday gifts after the age of 11....but I got a horse then. They weren't that big on Christmas presents either. I don't recall feeling any slight about it though. However, my mother didn't give gifts but she always expected one and she seldom liked anything that anyone ever gave her. I usually bought clothes for her....she seemed to like those okay.

We stopped buying physical gifts when daughter went off to college; instead we gave her cash or money transfers into her account. We will probably always give her money for both her birthday and for Christmas. For special occasions (21st birthday; graduation; etc) we try to find something she'd like -- usually jewelry.

Our general policy for niece and nephew for years now has been modest cash for birthdays and Christmas, and a larger cash payout for college graduation. Then the routine cash gifts will end.

I usually give my kids $50. Either in cash or in gift cards for a movie date night. My oldest also gets a cake. He never ever asks us for a single thing and I make a chocolate mocha cake that's to die for. He gets one a year. :)

I would have been shocked if my parents quit giving me a birthday gift - they did until they both died. My children are now 48 and 46 and I can't imagine not giving them a birthday present. DS's was 2 months ago and he still hasn't decided what he wants, but he will at some point and I'll buy it for him. They will always be my children, regardless of their age.

Now, if I had a huge family like a friend has (6 daughters, and 23 grandchildren), I would most likely sent the grandchildren a small present while they were young, and then an annual "family check" that the parents could decide how to spend. It would just be way too much shopping in a family that large.

Typically it's $200 for each kid and spouse or SO and usually as an electronic gift card. We ask what they want and that's usually the end result. Ages in late 20s and early 30s.

For us, until death.

My mom sent me, my sister and my brother a nice card and a generous check for our birthdays right up until the year she died. While none of us needed the money, it gave her pleasure to send us something and she always wanted us to spend it on ourselves, not for household expenses or some unexpected repair bill.

My parents gave gifts into my 20's, but cut down to just a card somewhere along in there. I still give my DD a gift, because I like to and want to. I never ask "what do you want" though, that just doesn't sit well with me. I tend to give her things that are small luxuries for her -- gift card to Sephora, or Starbucks, or a clothing store, or something that I've noticed her admiring.

My mother sent me 50$ till she died. I have a birthday party for each kid every year with home baked cake and dinner and buy them presents...usually clothes.

I like Janie’s idea of a $ per each year for little kids. My friend makes a yearly BD deposit to her GS’s college trust account. Gift giving runs the gamut, I see.

It's all relative, what every family is used to, barring difficult circumstances. My mother gave us actual gifts with a check usually, until she could no longer go shopping. At that point my sister would get the gift she wanted to give and mail it for Mom. In the last few years, she would just ask sister to send a check. We still give our kids gifts (because they seem delighted to open them, even though they know what their responses were when asked for ideas,) and a small-ish amount of cash. It makes for more work on my part but it's fun. Elmer, looks like our kiddos are the same ages--no grandkids for us yet.

No parents left, but I still get birthday checks from my grandmothers and I wish they would stop! The gesture is so lovely but I'd rather it get spent on themselves as they are on fixed incomes. I don't cash the checks, which also makes me feel bad.

I'm in my 30's.

Chi, some people get much pleasure from giving. Sometimes you have to be gracious in receiving. Just a thought...from my experience, I'm sure yours is different.

Chi, You might complicate granny’s accounting with outstanding uncollected checks. But I can understand your feelings. Would you consider cashing the checks and turn around and donating to your fave charity in granny’s name?

Our kids are in their late 30s and 40s and two live in other states. Trying to decide what to buy them became difficult guessing games, so we finally decided to send generous checks for them and their spouses so that they could do or buy something special. I also include the famous (among us) chocolate birthday cake and sometimes a little gift to open. Two are in small living quarters and just don't want "things," plus I guess wrong too often. But I think they all want or need things for the house and would enjoy an outing too. They spend the checks as they want. DIL thanked us for the new dishwasher, a use they put the checks toward. Elder son had his fireplace fixed (they bought a very old house). Good choices.

Thanks tjkeen and bossyvossy. I do worry about her accounting but it's been years and no one has mentioned anything. I probably should cash them.

I was finally able to convince one of them recently to stop sending gifts. I did it by sending her a lovely birthday gift! And she said she will stop if I will stop and we will just have a nice phone call instead! I think she will always see me as a little girl and doesn't like me spending money on her. :) I love her to death.

Everyone in our family gets money for Christmas and birthdays. My Mother always gave me money too. Makes it nice, they can buy what they want or save it.

Sue

Our son's 33rd birthday was a few weeks ago. He had mentioned a particular golf bag he liked, so DH ordered it online. I think it was $150+/-. A couple of days after we gave it to him, son texted and repeated his thank you and then said it wasn't necessary for us "to buy our adult son such a nice gift." I believe that means he wants us to stop. Which I am OK with.

However (isn't there always a however?) we have another son with a birthday coming up and I'm not sure his attitude is the same. I may tell him this is his last birthday gift . . .

This is the first year that I didn't do Easter baskets for them. Therefore, this might be a good time to quit the birthday gifts too.

I do a mini Easter basket for DH. He loves his sweets.

I should add that DH & I don’t exchange gifts, he doesn’t want or need much and shopping for me makes him anxious; we just get what we want when we want it and I’m happy with that.

My DH & SIL are in their 40’s, I always buy for them, some years bigger than others but there is no real stradegy. I also send Amazon cards to my sisters kids who are in their teens now.

I started giving my kids cash in their early 20's when I noticed the gifts I was so painstakingly selecting weren't quite as cool as I imagined. Plus they didn't have the money to reciprocate which I could tell bothered them. Generally I give them each a large check for Christmas, depending on how my finances are doing, and sometimes a small token gift to open. Birthdays get something small -- lunch, flowers, etc. -- and maybe a bit of cash. They are both young, early in their careers and I know they can use the money. It makes us all feel good.

As long as I am able, my children, their spouses and grandchildren will be receiving a card with some cash tucked inside.

Still do a check and card, a small gift to open and a home cooked birthday dinner and cake for both girls, aged 30's.

Well never say never, but I plan on giving to my son until I'm gone. I will probably transition over to cash one day though. My MIL still sends all of us a check for our birthdays and Christmas. Every family is different and it's ok if you decide that it's time to stop.

"when I noticed the gifts I was so painstakingly selecting weren't quite as cool as I imagined"

Good for you, einporlandor. This is a fundamental reality about gifts that many gift-givers never come understand or realize. It's especially true for parents and other oldsters planning gifts of tangible "things" for offspring or other younger adult recipients that weren't specifically requested. The wrong turn taken is thinking "now what would I like to get under these circumstances?". Or, "Here's this X, I bet so and so would love to have it!" The likelihood is, whatever you come up with to answer these thoughts from your perspective doesn't match what the recipient would like.

No one is right or wrong, that's just how it is. That's why cash is often best.

For the grandchildren we send money card till they get married or leave the nest. Hubby sends his son a card for birthday and Father's day. We send a family money gift card for Christmas. They can split it up or buy something for the family.

My mother's birthday is the day after mine (her due date with me was her birthday, but I arrived one day early). Our birthdays were always celebrated together, and I loved that.

But, my mother died less than two weeks before my 21st birthday. What should have been a fantastic birthday was very sad. My father gave me the gift that he and my mother together had picked out for me.

Less than a month later, my father died - just over a month before his birthday.

That was in 1970.

My husband's parents had both died before we met, and we have no children, so birthdays for us are just us.

Mom and I also had a deal that we would make each other whatever dessert each requested for our respective birthdays...ended up with some interesting options!

I have never had a birthday cake made for me. I'm the baker in the family, so I have to make my own if I want one. I just realized how much I want someone to make me one! I might suggest it to DH and see how panicked he gets, haha.

Aw thanks gigirambles, that is very sweet. I don't care at all what the cake looks like, though I'm sure yours would be beautiful.

Chi, I'd bake you an angel food cake (from scratch!) if you lived closer!

Chi, take Anglo up on her offer! LOL. I make her Angel food cake recipe and it's fabulous!!!

Haha Jasdip! Sounds delicious, thanks Anglo. You ladies are sweet.

I have always given our kids, and now grandchildren, money that matches their age, with the cards.. I told our children, that may stop when they reach 50! Which is 2 and 3, years a way.

I send to the their spouses too, on their birthdays. I know they can always use the money.

The last few years since my kids have grown up, I've just taken them out to dinner. This year was different, though. My son was across the country, in tech school for the Air Force, so I asked him what he wanted. I ordered some sweat pants he requested through Amazon and had them sent to him. He lost a lot of weight in basic so needed something that fit. Now my daughter's birthday is this Friday so I told her I'd get her a new pair of boots since her favorite pair are falling apart. She hasn't told me which ones she wants so it may be late.

Yes I do something for both my adult sons. I have them here for dinner and a baked cake. They get a small gift. Of course my daughter and gra nds get a special gift and favorite dinner and cake also.

My mom gave cards with cash up until she passed. She died a few months after my birthday but knew she was leaving. That year she gave me my card with the money and the next day another card which I noticed in the corner had the following years date. I said mom you already gave me my card..she said the second one is next years.