car for 18 yr old/registration
always1stepbehind
6 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (30)
User
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agoRelated Discussions
18 year old daughter loses her mind
Comments (7)I'm so sorry you're going through this with your daughter. We butted heads quite a bit with our daughter when she was 17 and 18, and she did think seriously about leaving home. I can't identify with all the problems you're having with her, but I can with some of them. I know it is a difficult time for you and your wife. I think it's hard to know how to give help unless we know why she's moved away from home and making the choices she's making. Do you know if it's a boyfriend issue, are alcohol or drugs involved? I think a lot of young people get derailed their first year of college. Most of my friends have college kids and my kids are in college. Here are my gut feelings, which could very well be wrong. First of all, if your daughter graduated number 3 in her class with a full ride scholarship, then just the difficulty of chemistry alone shouldn't have derailed her. In my experience, what usually happens is that the students who fare poorly don't go to class and don't do their work. Most college professors have office hours and possibly TA's with office hours, and many universities have free tutoring available. You'd think that intelligent young people who mess up their first year in college would straighten up, learn their lesson and get their work done. But it doesn't always work that way. Many of the young people I know who had problems went through all K-12 years of school never having to study. Some of them adjust and some drop out. It's really tough on their ego to go from having everything come so easily to having to study hard and get tutoring help. Your requirements for your daughter living at home are very reasonable. Again, I know students who give their parents flack about that kind of thing, but you're not asking for anything out of line at all. Re the part about the hydroplaning and the cell phones, I'd let that go. If she was getting straight A's and doing outstanding in school, you'd probably let it go. The problem of moving out and living with the other family is much worse. I do know other families who have had problems similar to yours, and at one time I was holding my breath afraid we'd be in your shoes. As parents of young adults, I and most of my friends try to walk a line between letting them make their mistakes and heading off any major disaster that would absolutely ruin our young adult's life. So you can't really drag her back home. If this was my daughter, I'd consider paying the cell phone. As long as she has a cell phone that you're paying for, you know she can call you in case of an emergency. I'd rather pay the bill and know my daughter can always call me. I'd also keep my daughter on my health insurance and if she needed birth control I'd pay for that. If I owned the title to her car I'd either pay the car insurance or take the car back. For everything else I'd just step back and let her pay her own way. I'd also let her know that I love her very much, and that if she wants to come back home and get help with paying for school, the door is open. Then I'd let her live her life and make her mistakes. Sounds like she's going to have to learn some things the hard way. All of this is assuming she doesn't have problems with drugs or alcohol. I know several young people who have done seemingly jaw-dropping, crazy things like your daughter. They just have to grow up; their parents can't magically fix it. I'm so sorry you're in this position. Hopefully you've raised her well and she'll circle back around to be the responsible young woman you've raised her to be. A dear friend of mine's daughter moved out a couple of years ago. During her first semester of college she met a guy, dropped out, went to live in a situation somewhat like you're describing. She's just now getting her life straightened out and moving back in with her parents. My last suggestion is this, and it's probably the most important one. Once a week, if your daughter will let you, take her out to dinner or to lunch. Mentally declare to yourself that during that time you won't discuss anything negative or ask her any questions. Let her talk about whatever she wants to talk about. Don't give advice or suggestions, just listen or keep to general chit chat. If it will help, let her know that's what you're going to do. Make sure you keep that connection open to her. During that lunch or dinner time don't ask her to come home or ask her how her grades are. When she leaves, tell her that you love her. Something's up with your daughter, and there's really no way for you to know what's going on for sure. She's 18 years old and she can walk away at any time. So keep a connection. If it turns out to be something like drugs or alcohol, you can intervene and get her some help. If she's just an 18 year old who has gone a little crazy and wants her independence, she'll just have to learn the hard way that independence isn't all it's cracked up to be. If she's abusing substances, then she probably hasn't done anything that can't be fixed. A lot of good parents go though what you're going through. Keep your marriage strong and step back and let your little girl fall on her face. That's my advice. You're not alone, and it does get easier. It's a shock when it first happens....See More104yr.old film
Comments (12)I've posted that youtube on my Facebook wall a few months ago and love watching it. I laugh at the wonky wheels on some of the wagons and vehicles. There is also another youtube of that film that compares what SF looks like today as the film travels down the street. I love the looks on peoples faces when they turn and see the camera and the kid who plays "chicken" by running in front of the vehicle with the camera. Anne...See MoreProblems with my 19 yr old step daughter
Comments (32)Theotherside... can you read? Or do you just actively ignore what is said? SHE HAS REFUSED COUSELING OF ANY SORT! Yes I would be happy to help find a program for her but right now it won't do her any f** good if she refuses to go. And pray tell me when do you CONSIDER HER AN ADULT??? She is an adult as she blurts out all the time.. The law sees her as an adult. You say around 30, good fight the laws to where parents can make decision for their kids until that age. I am not allowed to make decisions for her any longer... So how do I help someone who doesn't want the help. I really grow weary of your ignorance... oh and by the way her drug of choice is METHANPHETAMINE!!! We would not be having this conversation if it was were pot. No if she were 14 and out of control I could send her to freekin rehab! I could do something about it... Oh and you forgot to post your address :) Your thoughts on parental responsibility is ridiculous and absolutely ignorant.... How do you do something about it... (other than disscussing it with her) At 19 she is an ADULT! Let's put it this way say you had a foster child in your home and they had turned 19 and you found out they were using and became a danger to YOUR other children... You're telling me you would still allow them to stay under your roof? If so you are in my opinion as well as that of the law UNFIT... You parental responsibilities is to protect the minor children you are responsible for. It doesn't mean you can't try to help that older child. But you can't allow their habits to harm your other children... But when they refuse help there is NOTHING you can do! Really do you live in the 50's still? where kids are like "Golly gee ma, I'll do anything you say." You act as if after 18 years of age we have power over them... When in other forums you encourage children to not speak to their parents... Well using your theory these people probably weren't 30 yet so they weren't responsible for any affairs or anything else they were doing. Their parents should have been helping them... Quit being a hypocryte it is either one way or another... People are adults at 18 responsible for their own actions and choices/ or they are children for ever and can blame parents for the rest of their lives!!! You can not pick and choose!!! I mean really in you theory a drug addicted man at 25 yrs old murders someone and it is his parents fault??? What cult are you in? I apologize for my anger but your thoughts don't make sense from one forum to the next. You cange your mind like the wind blows... "She's just a kid, He should have known better, they don't deserve forgiveness, They should always be forgiven" So what the heck is it... Make up your mind on where you stand with the issues before you jump on someones..... case. :)...See MorePlease help-what to do about 19 yr old daughter
Comments (170)If my kid smoked pot occasionally, I would not be too concerned, but not sure why this devolved into the pros and cons of pot, since the OP posted that it was much more than that!! Smoking pot, hanging out with a controlling boyfriend, and not being very motivated in school could be a temporary bad spell as a person adjusts to being on their own, or it could be signs of depression and a downward spiral. I teach college, and that combo would indicate depression to me. Each sign on their own, probably not, but all together, perhaps. What to do about it is another story. I have a friend who had a son who was in an abusive and inappropriate relationship for years, and also had trouble finishing college. It took him a long time. They kept communication open, had to stomach a lot of heartache as he made bad choices and suffered the consequences, had to set clear boundaries, tried to get him any help he would accept and use. He kicked around for quite a while but did graduate and eventually got out of the relationship. Some kids just take a little more time than others, their path is not as straight forward. Try to accept that this may be a more difficult path for your child, and steel yourself for being there however you can. There may be no quick fix, it may be a case for stoicism. But keep communicating and keep looking for openings for helpful suggestions, while keeping boundary issues and realism in mind. Kind of a middle road that is difficult to follow. Oh, another one of my students went through almost this exact thing. She eventually dropped out of school for a while, but I got a nice note from her several years later that she had graduated from another school that she transferred to and got a job. So try and keep that perspective in mind, there is not always one ideal path that all kids need to go on, some take detours but get there in the end. They go through a rough patch, but find their way out!...See Moresushipup1
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agokris_zone6
6 years agoUser
6 years agoBluebell66
6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agofunctionthenlook
6 years agowildchild2x2
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoJenn TheCaLLisComingFromInsideTheHouse
6 years agoalways1stepbehind
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoJenn TheCaLLisComingFromInsideTheHouse
6 years agoLindsey_CA
6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agofunctionthenlook
6 years agoLindsey_CA
6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoJenn TheCaLLisComingFromInsideTheHouse
6 years agoalways1stepbehind
6 years agoUser
6 years agowildchild2x2
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agowildchild2x2
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agophoggie
6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoUser
6 years agophoggie
6 years agoUser
6 years ago
Related Stories
MOST POPULARHow to Reface Your Old Kitchen Cabinets
Find out what’s involved in updating your cabinets by refinishing or replacing doors and drawers
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDESThe Hidden Problems in Old Houses
Before snatching up an old home, get to know what you’re in for by understanding the potential horrors that lurk below the surface
Full StoryARCHITECTUREStyle Divide: How to Treat Additions to Old Homes?
One side says re-create the past; the other wants unabashedly modern. Weigh in on additions style here
Full StoryBUDGET DECORATING14 Ways to Make More Money at a Yard Sale — and Have Fun Too
Maximize profits and have a ball selling your old stuff, with these tips to help you plan, advertise and style your yard sale effectively
Full StoryPETSSo You're Thinking About Getting a Dog
Prepare yourself for the realities of training, cost and the impact that lovable pooch might have on your house
Full StoryMOST POPULAR9 Real Ways You Can Help After a House Fire
Suggestions from someone who lost her home to fire — and experienced the staggering generosity of community
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDESBathroom Workbook: How Much Does a Bathroom Remodel Cost?
Learn what features to expect for $3,000 to $100,000-plus, to help you plan your bathroom remodel
Full StoryMOST POPULARHow to Create an Inventory, Whether You're Naturally Organized or Not
Documenting your home items is essential, even if disaster seems unimaginable. And it may be easier than you think
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDESBathroom Remodel Insight: A Houzz Survey Reveals Homeowners’ Plans
Tub or shower? What finish for your fixtures? Find out what bathroom features are popular — and the differences by age group
Full StoryLIFE21 Things Only People Living With Kids Will Understand
Strange smells, crowded beds, ruined furniture — here’s what cohabiting with little monsters really feels like
Full Story
Lindsey_CA