car for 18 yr old/registration
8 years ago
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- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
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fix or replace? 22 yr old low mileage volvo
Comments (10)They think that the car is mechanically sound so I suppose we could spend the rest of our saved money on new tires, brakes, hoses, belts etc. But we would still have a car with less side view mirrors than most, no airbags, large amounts of rust, cracked dash, and plastic pieces that keep falling off(glove box door, side pockets, etc,etc) (my experience has been that kids don't take care of old cars expecially if they want a newer one). What would you do? I'd stick with it, especially if your son is going to continue "learning" how to drive on this car. You can buy third-party replacement mirrors that provide a bigger view. Airbags? Not that big a deal. They have their drawbacks (work only once per crash, can injure smaller passengers, some people have reactions to the inflation gas, they're expensive to fix); frankly, you are better off wearing a three-point belt properly (the main reason we have airbags at all is that numbers of people refused to buckle up). The rust, the broken pieces, ... well, the car won't last forever, but for a runner, it's no big deal. $5,000 isn't going to put you in a great car anyway, especially once you start adding up additional excise tax/registration fees and insurance costs....See More18 yr old drinking
Comments (18)Oh yuck!... I think you're very wise to be so concerned and I'll keep my fingers crossed for a mild ride... In my book, social drinking with friends at parties at age 18 is within the "normal" range of teenage activities, but having empty bottles rolling around inside drawers and rum-filled soda cans is "problem" behavior. Not to mention the knife! Drinking alone in her room and having empty bottles hidden are both signs of a possibly serious problem. I imagine you're aware that a vulnerability to substance addiction is an inherited trait? And that with alcoholism on both sides of her biological family tree, your SD is very vulnerable to alcoholism? Is this a point that was brought home to her in the strongest possible terms? Seems every 18 year old knows that they personally are invincible -- but the stats show otherwise... Al-Anon is a great place to get more information. I can't imagine a better group of people to help you and your DH sort out just how big of a problem this is likely to be at this stage -- Is it something you will be likely able to handle on your own with guidance and discipline? Or is rehab called for? (I can't see rehab actually working until your SD believes she has a problem that is beyond her own ability to control.) And what type of interventions and control strategies to they advocate? It's good your DH took the car plates away, but at some point, she'll probably get to drive again. When I was a teenager, my parents had a policy that turned out to be very effective at helping me learn to set my own limits. I had a curfew, and the house rule was that when I came in, I had to wake up Mom and spend a few minutes talking with her about where I had gone and what I had done (though they always knew where I was going in advance also.) That simple late-night conversation was enough to assure my mom that when I came in, it would be on time, and that I wouldn't be so drunk that I couldn't pass the 'coherent conversation' test. That didn't stop me entirely from underage drinking, but it did prevent me from underage OVER-drinking. It might be something to consider if you conclude your SD's drinking may be controllable....See More32 yr old Boomerang stepson
Comments (7)Hi Barbie, Please post again and give us an update. As a dad, the way I would approach it is that the son has to be completely out by a certain date - period. I wouldn't give it more than 60 days. You don't have to force an either he goes or I do ultimatum. If you don't really want to leave your husband, then this is not the best option. After you tell your husband that the son has to be gone by a certain date, see what happens. If it's not to your satisfaction, then you can still leave if that is the best option for you. Your stepson is 32, but he is running around like an irresponsible 16 year old on summer break - borrowing dad's truck, using his ATM, and leaving his room a complete disaster. You shouldn't pick up after him at all, and you should tell him to clean up his own mess. Adult children who are parasites on their parents are a pet peeve of mine too. Athlete...See MorePlease help-what to do about 19 yr old daughter
Comments (170)If my kid smoked pot occasionally, I would not be too concerned, but not sure why this devolved into the pros and cons of pot, since the OP posted that it was much more than that!! Smoking pot, hanging out with a controlling boyfriend, and not being very motivated in school could be a temporary bad spell as a person adjusts to being on their own, or it could be signs of depression and a downward spiral. I teach college, and that combo would indicate depression to me. Each sign on their own, probably not, but all together, perhaps. What to do about it is another story. I have a friend who had a son who was in an abusive and inappropriate relationship for years, and also had trouble finishing college. It took him a long time. They kept communication open, had to stomach a lot of heartache as he made bad choices and suffered the consequences, had to set clear boundaries, tried to get him any help he would accept and use. He kicked around for quite a while but did graduate and eventually got out of the relationship. Some kids just take a little more time than others, their path is not as straight forward. Try to accept that this may be a more difficult path for your child, and steel yourself for being there however you can. There may be no quick fix, it may be a case for stoicism. But keep communicating and keep looking for openings for helpful suggestions, while keeping boundary issues and realism in mind. Kind of a middle road that is difficult to follow. Oh, another one of my students went through almost this exact thing. She eventually dropped out of school for a while, but I got a nice note from her several years later that she had graduated from another school that she transferred to and got a job. So try and keep that perspective in mind, there is not always one ideal path that all kids need to go on, some take detours but get there in the end. They go through a rough patch, but find their way out!...See More- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
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