After living across the country from my family for 10 years (though it had been longer since I lived near my brother and his family) the mister and I moved to a house within a 10-15 minute drive of all the family in August 2017. Everyone is very happy now that the family is all nearby though! We don’t have to see each other daily or even weekly, it’s understood that we all have lives and things to do. My parents are getting older though, and I didn’t like living so far away from them because of this.

For us, it was after none of our parents were still living. We haven't moved away since they passed, but family would no longer be a consideration if we decided to relocate. What has changed is that family doesnt figure in when planning vacations. We used to make sure that we spent holidays with our parents especially as they got older, but now we leave town and do whatever we feel like doing.

Aside from my sister who lives across the country and some relatives in Canada (many of whom I've never met), there is no other family to think about when making decisions about where to live or where to spend Christmas.

I'm an only child and my parents are dead. My son has always lived nearby and my daughter for the first few years of her marriage lived in VA Beach but they moved back many years ago. My son used to live about ten miles away but he recently got married and now lives a mile away. Daughter about three miles. I would never move away and hope they don't either.

My parents died a month apart in 1970. I turned 21 between their deaths. I have an older sister and a younger sister. We had a brother, but he died in 1994 at the age of 38. My father was career Army so we lived all over the United States as well as in Europe and I didn't get to grow up near family (other than my parents & siblings, of course). Hubs is the oldest of five. His parents both died before we met (his mom in 1969, his dad in 1979, and we met at the beginning of 1981). His siblings are all married and have adult kids (and some have grandkids). My older sister is married and has one adult child (married) and one grandchild. Her husband has two married adult children, one with three small kids and the other with two small kids. My younger sister is single and has one adult son who recently married (no kids yet). Hubs and I do not have children. My sisters and their kids (and the one grandchild) live in the greater Sacramento area, as do Hubs and I. His siblings and their kids (and grandchildren) are spread out all over. Some are in California, but not near us (well, Bay Area is two hours or so from us), others are in Texas, Nevada, Oregon, Colorado (but soon moving to Germany). We generally spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with my older sister and her "group," but we don't mind spending it by ourselves. Less drama.

One of my sons, the one with my grand baby, is considering a move to Oregon next year. I would like to be part of my grand daughter's life and although I love Texas and have been here over 40 years would consider moving to be near them and they would want that.

I understand your question and if I had a career where a move would mean that I would have to lose it and start over, I would have to spend some time thinking through all the issues, but I am retired.

This is a topic that is now looming for us since my Mom passed away in August. She lived on the outskirts of Chicago, with my 2 sisters about a half hour away. I live 5 hours away, but was there very frequently. 2 brothers live several states away, and were not as involved with the family goings on. Now that both parents are gone, both of my sisters say they want to leave Illinois when they can. Mainly because of the corrupt politicians and the tax-everything situation. But the 3 of us want to be close to each other. It's a dilemma.

One thing has changed since the death of our Mom, and it's that all of us sibs have become quite close again. I never realized that our Dad treated the girls in the family different than he did the boys. He was hard on them, we were Daddy's girls. Both of my brothers resented him, and also resented my Mom because she didn't stick up for them. I think this is the reason they moved far away and were disengaged.

I was an only child. I knew my parents wanted me to stay close. So I did. Sadly both of them are now gone. They both needed a great deal of help in their later years and I think I did ok for them. But now they are gone and I'm contemplating a move away from the place I've always called my home town. It is a very free feeling but I also miss them so much. I feel like a self sufficient orphan. It's weird.

I always lived close to my parents, and then all of my in-laws. Not by design, mostly by accident. I moved to NC with my parents when I was in college. The rest of the family was in Ohio, although one sister came here later. I met DH in college, his whole family was here.

My parents are gone now, and I don't see my sister often. We live within 15 minutes of all of DH's parents and siblings. One brother would have considered a move away for a job, but that never happened. I couldn't see any of the rest of them going far. One sister lives literally next door to the parents.

Oddly, we will be the ones to move away, sort of. We plan to retire to a live aboard sailboat, and spend some undefined amount of time in faraway places. We may still have some sort of home locally, we haven't worked out all the details. DH is very excited, but I think he will really miss his Dad. They are very close, and he hasn't lived more than 20 miles away ever in his life.

We moved away from the city we grew up in 18 years ago for my husband’s career. My parents were so upset. My parents require a lot of emotional support and my siblings remind me constantly how I am not there providing the support and help that they need. The move was good for my husband and I. It allowed us to rely on each other. I don’t think our marriage would have been as strong had we stayed.

My family and his would have needed every minute of our time helping them. He works 12-14 hour days and I need some attention too, had we still lived close by, our extended families would have taken emotionally everything that we’ve got. We live on the other side of the country. I feel awful I know my parents need me there helping, they make sure that I know. We simply wouldn’t have achieved what we have had we not moved, I say that with many different meanings attached. I wish parents planned without adult children in mind as their go to for everything, and yes I have adult children and hope to never burden them like that.

I want to help my parents please don’t think I don’t but I work and am tired myself. The sandwich is hard. I just raised my children and put them through VERY expensive schools, now my parents need financial help and they are only 71. When will my husband and I get to have time for our dreams, of course educating our children the way we did was a dream come true, but we have some travel dreams which yes, cost money and my parents need that money to survive. The part that is SO frustrating is that my parents traveled the world...they were completely financially irresponsible and have NO retirement plan besides their children and trying to work although they haven’t taken care of their health that would allow for that. I begged them to plan, asked them to not go to Hawaii every year.....

My family is very small. Outside of my two grands and Amiee I have two adult sons, one lives across the street from me and one a half block away. I have a sister down south who does not talk to me, and my cousin Mel a few miles from me who is always away.

I've never thought about moving away...I don't think my sons have either since they can't seem to move farther than a stones throw from Mike and I. Haha.

No I couldn't move away from my kids. I will eventually need to move from this home since its Amiees...one day she will marry or just want her independance and I will give it to her. Maybe I'll find a place within a stones throw to her. LOL.

sabbath, part of your story sounds like my in-laws. They married in Charleston, SC when she was 16 and he was 23. He was in the Navy, and they immediately moved to Minnesota for training. She said that was the best thing they could have done, to move away and be responsible for themselves. She was the only girl, with three brothers, parents and grandparents all right there. She would never have had a life of her own, especially when she was so young.

We retired in 2014 and moved almost next door to our daughter and grandchildren. It keeps us busy and actively engaged in their lives and we have them to look after us as we age. It's perfect for us. My son and his wife are newlyweds and live in Canada. They're looking after her parents as they age. We don't get to see them as often as we'd like, but we've been visiting each other at least 6 times a year.

We live 5 minutes away from the in laws, and 3000 miles away from my family. I could not do it if my sister was not so close to my parents. But the burdens fall on her, which I feel bad about (and also I just want to be there). It’s never going to be perfect. My kids are still teens, so who knows where they will end up (in my head I think anywhere they want to live is fine, haha we will see how that goes when it happens). My culture is more suck it up and deal with what you have (but sometimes hard to do).

We consider our children and their children our immediate family; the most important part of our family. As for aunts and uncles, we have none alive, our parents are gone, and we rarely keep in touch with siblings or cousins. The 9 of us, plenty!

We’re physically and emotionally close with both sides of the family; we live across the street from my in laws and work with them every day in our small family business. DH’s sister is in the area with her kids as is my sister with her family. My parents are also close by. All our kids are little. There’s also extended family, aunts, uncles, and cousins, within an hour from my husbands side.

I have two siblings on the other coast, one who has children. I miss them a lot and I see the benefits of having such a supportive and loving ‘village’ in my and my children’s lives every day; it’s much harder for my sister who has no family out there.

That said- it works for our family because everyone is reasonable and boundary respecting people. We still prioritize our own nuclear family’s needs above all else and everyone a)does the same and b)respects that. We have Christmas at home, just us- no driving all over, even though everyone is close. Dinner is sacrosanct. A support network is important and helpful but it doesn’t have to be created by blood either. So to speak to your question of prioritizing, we put our needs (including some wants that make us happy or make our lives easier or are better for our kids) while considering needs and wants of others and if there is a way to balance or merge them- if there is, great. If not I have no issue putting my family first. Most of the time there is a balance to be had.

Sabbath

but we have some travel dreams which yes, cost money and my parents need that money to survive.

I hope I am not out of line offering my unasked-for opinion. If you have two parents who are each receiving Social Security, they would need very little extra to survive and be happy. They could find a small apartment, and these days there are tons of free groups, events, low cost movies and senior discounts at restaurants.

Of course if they are infirm and need extensive nursing care, that is an expense, perhaps Medicare could help with that.

Except for her, my Mom's family stayed close by the hometown. Mom went with Dad. Dad came from an even larger family but they all had itchy feet and dispersed all over the country. For myself, then, as a child we always visited the hometown and phoned relatives regularly, but never had relatives living full time anywhere near us. So that lack of physical closeness felt normal.

There are four of us siblings. As we graduated and went out on our own, only one stayed nearby. Me, I wanted to prove to myself that I was capable of being a single, independent, adult. So I accepted a job that took me 600 miles away for a two year training period. (I still remember the freedom of making chocolate chip cookies with as many chips as I wanted -- woohoo!)

As the years went by, all three of us siblings returned. I came back for my boyfriend/now husband after two years. One sister came back for a higher paying job after five years. And lastly after 20 years, one sister decided our dear parents weren't getting any younger, so she changed jobs to be closer.

I'm currently within 2 hours of my father, siblings, and child. We've told child to make her own decisions where to live. We will always stay close through visits, electronically, etc. We are lucky -- we're all living close enough to visit because we love each other, not because any one of us requires physical help or supervision.

I have one grandson. I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to see him on a whim. I have always wanted to move back to BC. But I stayed when I was in my early 20's because I had just met my now husband. Then I stayed because he was close to his family. Then I stayed because we had jobs and couldn't be guaranteed decent jobs after a move. Then we stayed because we have a grandchild that would kill us not to see. My heart still belongs in BC. But my heart would die if I couldn't be near my grandson. If my son and his girlfriend ever left the city, only then might I sell my house and leave to.

I grew up in Boston, married at age 19 and moved an hour away to a charming town on the ocean. My family of six siblings and I are so close, we chat in a private message on fb and are totally involved with each other. Three of my sisters, two of my sons live in my town too, it's wonderful. My daughter moved to the next town to have waterfront. I love where I live and I love having my grands and now, one great grand, living nearby. We all support each other and we all have the gift of humor so we have a blast together. Would I like to live somewhere else? Yes in the winter but I can't imagine not being here. We have been on dozens of great trips abroad and here but family is my main love. Still married, it will be 60 years this year. Life is good.

I was pretty much kicked out. Long story. We are closer now than in the past but we lead separate disparate lives.

Both sets of in laws have passed away. Both DH and I have "small" families.

I put this in quotes because I could have had a rather large extended family but my dad cut ties with his parents when they didn't approve of his marriage to my mom. Only one brother kept in touch, and I am in touch with one of their daughters. This cousin grew up going to all the events etc of the extended family.

My siblings, two sisters and a brother are all many states away from me. It's difficult feeling close when you don't actually see the person regularly.

DH has the same situation. He has one sister forty minutes away and she has been involved but she is just not an honest person. So, I personally just tolerate her.

My two DD's in in the city and we see them as often as we can.

DH and I would like to move. My town is one with excellent schools. Most of our contemporaries have moved on after high school graduation of our kids.

To me, the end goal when raising kids is get them ready to go out into the world with the attitudes, education and life skills needed to be happy adults successfully pursuing their own lives. Other than maybe a few handful of large metro areas in the US with wide and diverse opportunities, that usually requires leaving "home" at some point. Whether to join the military, to get vocational training, to attend college, to take a first job, to take a job transfer, these things expose the young adults to new places and opportunities that often "stick".

With ours, it started first with their undergrad experiences across the country and then evolved for each as they pursued their goals. They're now each thousands of miles away from us. I'd say we're close-knit, we with them and them with one another. We're in contact with each almost daily. We see each multiples times a year. They're happy and successful with their lives and likely none of it would have happened had they not been pushed to leave home to pursue their dreams, independent of the geography. Having family nearby may be another way to live but I think that's short-sighted and maybe even sad when doing so limits life experiences and career opportunities for those young adults. To each, their own view.

To answer the first question - at what point do you go lead your own life? As soon as possible. I left my home town (LA, a large city with numerous and diverse opportunities) in my mid-20s for job reasons. I went to the SF Bay area and doing so for the work opportunity was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Sabbath

but we have some travel dreams which yes, cost money and my parents need that money to survive.

I hope I am not out of line offering my unasked-for opinion. If you have two parents who are each receiving Social Security, they would need very little extra to survive and be happy. They could find a small apartment, and these days there are tons of free groups, events, low cost movies and senior discounts at restaurants.

Of course if they are infirm and need extensive nursing care, that is an expense, perhaps Medicare could help with that.

I want to add, I don't believe Medicare is any help (don't know details)but Medicare does cover healthcare and many advantage plans are free.

If they only live on SS they should qualify for senior low income housing.

Do some research, it is easy to research online, you don't need to discuss solutions with them until you know what is available . After giving them better solutions (better than draining the next generation) let THEM decide how THEY want to handle THEIR problem.

I had several factors: I was in a "blended" family that didn't, so as my older half sibilings -- especially my decade older sister who was always very jealous, envious, critical and sometimes hateful -- grew up our fragile bonds dissolved. They never bonded with my Dad. My parents divorced, and my mother (who always had some failings in her parenting style, you might say) declared that she was tired of being a parent (I was 15) and within 14 months moved to another city to take a job. She wanted me to move with her, which would have required me to transfer schools in my last year of high school -- I stayed with friends and heard from her about once a week. But, she had always made clear that in her opinion, when we graduated high school, we were expected to be out of the house and on our own soon after -- the exception was my sister, who they sent to college. (Oddly enough, my middle half brother blames my Dad for this, but I heard her say it many times.) My Dad proceeded to rebuild his life with friends, kept very busy, but really didn't know how to rebuild the closeness with me (he had grown up in an orphanage himself) that had been destroyed by the ugly divorce (made ugly by my mother, I should add). All of this led to a very poor decision on my part to marry at 18, to a really not suitable partner.

And yet, when the recession of 1979 hit, and we decided to move across the country to find work, I was very reluctant to leave my mother. I would say I was emotionally not mature, and still hoped to have the loving, nurturing relationship, and most of all to please her, to win her approval. But I did move, and that was the best thing for my long term emotional health! I was very successful in my career which helped a lot, but it still took me many years, and a second failed marriage, and a move back to try to give my DD a shot at experiencing more family than just myself (which ended up a failed fantasy), to finally get it all together; but I was finally able to let go of my hopes and expectations regarding family and that has led me to be much more content.

My parents are both gone now. In the last years of her life I helped my mother, yet did not feel much love nor delight in our visits -- more duty. I think she was puzzled but maybe never fully aware -- I did try to pretend; I had no need to hurt or punish her. Likewise duty visits to my sister's at holidays -- which I finally stopped a few years before Mom' stroke. I did have a closer relationship with my Dad after moving back (but I was still 100 miles away, and he had a strong circle of friends, activities, and another marriage so our time together was limited). I have had no contact with my siblings since the funerals of my parents and aunt and that doesn't bother me.

Well! venting a bit -- so to answer your question, it was for employment, but in the end it was a good thing to have that distance.

DH and I both were born and grew up in Pennsylvania. Moved to Ohio soon after marriage leaving all family behind, where we lived for 20 years. Raised our 2 daughters there and when they were on their own and settled, DH and I moved to Michigan, leaving daughters behind.

After 12 years in Michigan, it was time for DH to retire. We very seriously considered locating in Utah or Colorado because we were very taken by the great motorcycling in that part of the country. After much soul searching, we decided that it was in our best interest to be near all the family that we had left behind so many years ago.

Been back home in PA for 19 years now, and love it here. Getting reacquainted with our brothers and sisters has been the best...and being close to our very caring daughter who settled in PA before we came back was the right thing. It doesn't put her in the bind of looking after us from such a long distance as we age.

My late mother was an only child. She was also sole support of her parentsduring the Depression. (Her father had had a debilitating stroke when she was twenty.) She had one maternal aunt-by-marriage who had no children. She continued to support her widowed mother until her death near 90. As a divorcee, she also supported me.

My father was one of six surviving siblings -- made to compete with one another for parental favor. His father -- 'baby' within his family and a sponge throughout his life -- had this 'retirement plan': He his wife circulated between their adult children's households, and each child 'owed' them financial support.) He lived to 100, a widower for 25 years, a burden, ruining his eldest daughter's retirement years. The sons sent money when they thought about it. I don't know why I mention his 'retirement'; he never did a lick of steady work from which he could 'retire'.

I'm the only child of these parents. My father left my mother and me when I was two. He married is secretary, and they had two girls. My paternal grandparents, aunts, uncles and their families dropped my mother and me -- unless they needed help. Only my eldest female cousin stayed in contact with me -- until her death ten years ago.

DH is an only child, adopted secretly as an infant by a couple old enough to have been his grandparents -- and never told of his adoption. His adoptive father wanted a son; he died when DH was 10. His adoptive mother did not want a child at all, but was bound by her DH's will to raise him; she lived into her eighties. Discovery of the adoption was a much-delayed liberation! He is bitter that her extended family 'kept the secret' in return for her financial support.

We have one healthy and happy DS; he brought us a dear DIL; they a gave us a DGS (nearly 13) and a DGD (nearly 7). They are in the city, 20 minutes from our home for nine months of the year -- a little farther (!) from our Maui home. DIL's parents live a few blocks away from them. She has two sisters with three girls between them -- one nearby; one in SLC. She has a large extended family of aunts, uncles, and cousins -- many in the Chicago area. I'm very happy our grandkids have these close connections. (I don't miss the family squabbles I hear about.) Our son is adopted, with photos and identifying information about his birth family. I don't know what he's done with the information, but it is his natural right to know it.

I agree with Elmer. Everyone should have a safe, loving NEST -- from which to to be *launched* by loving parents. Any returns to the nest are only meaningful if they are voluntary and wholehearted. There is no 'payback'. (Other than in the mind of my paternal grandfather, that's not 'a duty'.) Love, in order to be love, cn only be freely *given*.

My parents got divorced in70. Both stayed in the vicinity.

My grand parents on my mothers side were also divorced. Most of our family lived within 30 miles, except my mothers sister and one of the brothers. Those left for Australia not to long after WW2. There are also 2 cousins of mother that went to Africa in the same time period.

My sister (one year younger) went to California, but later after a divorce went back to Germany.

My younger sister moved to France for a while, but now lives in Australia too.

My daughters live one nearby (17 miles) and the other in New Mexico.

When I divorced I deceided to stay put, cause most of my friends live here.

New family, aka friends sometimes feel way more important than flesh and blood family.

Moni

I am an only child, single and have two grown daughters. I will stay where I am as long as my mother is alive. I take care of most of her needs. Once she is gone I will move anywhere if there is grandchildren ; ) I understand children moving for a better job, one of mine has done that. And since I am retired, I can go visit.

I think that age plays a factor. During your youth, the world is your oyster, but as you age toward feeblehood, there is a tendency to gravitate toward those who are friendly toward you and are younger than you.

We don't have a close family, in that most of our family has passed on already. My brothers and my sister, my parents....and grandparents died in the '50's, and I never really knew them very well. My husband lost his parents by the time he was 12 years old, and a sister, and not too long ago, a brother. He still has two sisters and a brother and although we get along fine....don't see the sisters very often but he sees his brother probably at least once or twice a month. I stay in touch with the sisters on FB (and also a niece and a couple of nephews of mine) and once in awhile we get together...meet at a restaurant with their kids, etc.

We have one daughter, who lives in Houston and is married. She and her husband have no children and plan to have none. We are about 45 minutes from Houston...if the traffic isn't too bad. We see them about once a month.

We have lived in this area for most of our lives...my husband came here from Florida when he was 12, and I grew up about 30 miles away. We like it here and have no plans to move. I know my daughter and her husband like living in Houston, so I doubt they would ever consider moving either. If they did, we would be okay with whatever their decisions are. We don't live their lives for them or get involved in what they plan to do. Whatever they want to do is fine with us.

We have to stay on the coast, due to Jody's work. Despite some health problems now, he still goes to the boat every day and will start shrimping again in the spring.

The concept of a big, close family is very foreign to me. About the closest I ever had of that was when my sister and her husband and her kids used to come for holidays. When I was a teenager, one of my nephews went into the service, one niece moved to West Texas to be a nanny, and my brother in law died. It was never the same after that, and I missed them very much.

i moved to another Province when I was 25, but after about a year my brother talked me into coming back home but I wish I stayed out there. 3 of my siblings live just a few blocks from me, and one of my nieces and nephews. My brother Donald and his wife moved out to Squamish BC after my brother retired to be close to his 2 sons and their Grandchildren. I miss him terribly and haven't seen him since he moved about 7 years go. I have another niece that lives north of Toronto but cut herself away from the family and we never see her which is for me a terrible loss because we were always so close.

Sabbath look in the Caregiver forum especially some of the older postings for suggestions. I agree with the low income housing because there is sometimes to much togetherness which prevent people both young and old from meeting others when things are always done within the family. Depending on their income they can receive subsidized utilities and some other things. Having them live with you can cause more stress than most realize when your life revolves around them 100% of the time. Another couple of things to think about are that your spouse if any would have to find another job. You may only be able to work for another couple of years at a full time job. This will reduce the amount that you will have to live on. Do not let your siblings guilt trip you because even if you lived in the same house you cannot be the only source of emotional support. It sounds like your siblings want you to take over caring for your parents beyond the "emotional support".

My husband was offered a transfer a number of years ago which we had to turn down because of the two moms. It was a job ending decision but fortunately he was able to get a good job with a company whose head office was in our city. We didn't feel that we had a choice in the matter and the decision was made out of duty.

Our son was just offered a new job with another company but in another province which he turned down. His girlfriend is here and so are we. He turned the job down out of love.

Love is nice but family togetherness often means staying in a place where jobs are scarce and poverty occurs. Perhaps she did not love him enough to go with him but that works both ways. When people ask why people do not move out of places that have no jobs the most common answer is family.

Excellent points made all around.

Hubby and I grew up with no extended family connections and it was something we both always craved and wanted.

It did factor in and ultimately become one of the deciding reasons that we chose to stay here.

maifleur - You have a good point. I was actually pointing out the difference between making a decision out of duty or out of love and you can lose or gain either way.

My son was headhunted for the other position and is still very gainfully employed, thankfully.

We're in the same situation as some of the others here. With both our mothers having passed away, no need to be tied to the area. However, my family and all our friends are here, so we remain.

We both have large families, but are not close to most of them - as in, we go years without seeing them.

Never ever would I move away from my grandkids. If my daughter and her husband had to move for a job or other reason, that would be fine. But I would NEVER intentionally move away from those sweet little loves.

We are a small but, close knit, and now in close proximity to most of our family. DD moved to a Colorado ski resort town 17 years ago after college. NDH and I already owned a second home there and had been vacationing there since she was six. So we knew the area well. DD married 9 years ago and just last year had DGS. Even be fore we knew she was expecting, we broke ground on a duplex, one side for DD and DSIL live and we live in the other. The house was completed in November and we moved from our home in the south to Colorado. DD and SIL (and DGS) now live next door to us and it has been wonderful! The perfect blend of privacy and togetherness! My mother agreed to move to an upscale senior living facility not 5 minutes away and really is adjusting well. So we are all very close. My brother and his family still live here in the south (I am visiting now), and we talk relatively often, sometimes about mom issues and other about family business and often just to talk. Hopefully, brother, his wife and kids will be out to visit often. He and my nephew, his son, did come out when we moved mom to help (and provide moral support) as we got her settled in. I also keep in touch with a number of cousins, especially those close in age -- rooming in with my cousin who is closet one in age and temperament, often when I am back in state taking care of business and really enjoying seeing more of her. We're very lucky with our family situation. Unfortunately DH, whose parents are both gone has fairly remote and relatively tense relationships with his two siblings.

I am selfish in that regard. I wanted my mom to live in my town, I want my fave SS to live in my town. Unless they move to Paris, Dublin or Rio, I wouldn’t dream for a second about moving to their towns. I don’t like it that we’re not together but I’m not willing to move so I pay for it with lonely gaps here and there. (Mom is gone so mute issue as that emptyness is here to stay)

I want to move out of the LA area, I think I'd be much happier in a rural area. I stayed for reasons that don't exist anymore. My family will be sad but understanding.

My family (parent and brothers) isn't really close but we keep in touch. My one brother lives with my dad, who has dementia and now other health problems. My other brother lives on the other side of the same town and checks up on my dad. I live clear across the country. I feel a little guilty about being so far away and not helping with my dad but I did offer years ago to move him in with me and he refused. I'm about to go for a visit in a week. I can only handle being around my one brother for so long before I just want to leave. I could never live near him and don't care too much for the town I grew up in either. It's a pretty run down little town. My little family is just me and my grown kids. My son just joined the Air Force and my daughter is back living at home, either going to move back to California or join the Air Force too, she hasn't made up her mind. The only family I keep in touch with on my dad's side is in Alabama. I'm friends on Facebook with a cousin and have visited a few times. My mom's family is in Japan and I have never met them, except on Skype. My daughter, her boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Japan in the fall. Only one of my mom's siblings is still living, which makes me sad. Wish I had gone there years ago. Haven't decided what to do when I retire, stay here where I am and travel from here...or move near my daughter and travel. That's my plan, travel as much as I can. I don't think my son would want me to live with him. lol. My daughter on-the-other hand was looking at homes in California for me to buy when she was out there. I would visit my son, though, wherever he is. When he lived in Lexington, we met at least once or twice a month to eat or see a movie.