Karen-I Hope You Don't Meet Harvey!
6 years ago
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I still don't get it......do you regularly fertilize your garden?
Comments (23)I think the critical thing to understand is that fertilizer is not needed for healthy growth in soil that is well conditioned through years of organic inputs. The key points to focus on is that most soils require years of organic inputs and we aren't talking about a light dusting with compost either. We are talking about modifying the soil so around 30+ percent is organic matter. We also aren't talking about growing award winning giant pumpkins in that soil, we are talking about plants that grow healthy and reasonably. Most trees, shrubs and perennials grow well in soils with low to moderate fertility and compost alone is more than capable of doing the job. Annuals grown for effect whether it be an ornamental flower or high yielding veggy will almost always benefit from understanding the plant's growth cycle and environmental requirements for not just good, healthy growth, but optimal yields and then meeting them. Some perennial plants grown for fruit also qualify. If one wants a nice looking yard full of healthy plants that do well, compost alone is sufficient. If one wants a 5lb tomato or a 1000# + pumpkin then one best start researching the plant's nutrient requirements and fertilizers that will optimally meet them....See MoreMy Day....Feb 29th...Hope I don't get to do a do over
Comments (13)I wish I could be more supportive but it's really hard to make friends as an adult. My 8 year old just has to walk outside and he can find someone to play with. It doesn't matter if they know each other or not - they instantly start talking and find some common ground. The adults rarely come outside and most won't even make eye contact with each other! I became isolated when I was married because my husband was very paranoid and it just because easier to lose touch with friends than deal with his jealousy. Now that I'm single again, I don't even know where to start. I have lots of acquaintances locally, but no sounding boards. Even my mom passed away just over a year ago. It does leave a gaping hole in your life but it's not an easy one to fill....See MoreMeet my new kitchen/laundry room---pics (I hope!)
Comments (57)Shelayne....thanks! Not quite sure how I feel about the LG yet....I think the cycles are too long....DH and I work in offices...do our clothes really need to wash for an hour? I think the shortest cycle is speedw wash and I think its 35 min....which was about how long my 15 year old Maytag did any cycle. And water temperature is pre selected,maybe you can override it buti haven't figured out how yet. Drying seems to take longer than my Maytag as well. But boy, can you fit a lot without an agitator! I've only had it a month and I probably need to read the manual some more, but the jury's still out......See MoreI don't think I can do this...
Comments (32)I agree with postponing the wedding until these issues are settled. I promise you, it CAN get better, and that is up to your fiancee, but also up to you as well. Once he has addressed the issues with her, you will see a very dramatic turnaround in the behaviour of the child. Don't make that your issue because it's not. Your BM is behaving this way because a) she is being allowed to, and b) she is getting something out of it - satisfaction, attention, drama, pity - she is getting whatever reaction she wants and she is feeding off it. And you know what - your fiancee is getting something out of it as well. You both just need to figure out what that is. If your fiancee says only call once a day and then he answers the phone and argues with her several times a day, then he is teaching her that she doesn't have to take him seriously and she can do whatever she wants, regardless of what he says. HE is giving her permission to do this! I don't see a problem with you being the primary caretaker if your fiancee is working - don't worry about that - but he needs to give you a LOT more support. This is not your child, and you are not a glorified unpaid babysitter and nanny. What I would suggest is to get yourself in a place of absolute calm - take some time out and go for a long walk, have a massage, go get yourself an iced coffee or something - and just BE. Just sit and relax and clear your head. Don't sit and worry and stress about the situation. Don't even let yourself think about it. Just relax. Then when you are feeling in a more relaxed frame of mind, sit down with him and have a talk. No shouting, accusing, crying - NO DRAMA - and discuss it calmly with him. I assure you, I know how difficult this is, especially when tensions are running high - but the benefits are enormous. One point you need to make clear to him, in a loving way, is that if you leave then it's expected that sometime in the future he will meet someone else, and if these particular issues are not resolved, then that woman, and every other woman after her, will leave the same way. The one thing I said to my DH, a long long time ago, when I faced VERY similar problems that you are dealing with, was this, "If you are not able or not willing to address the disruptive and destructive behaviour that you are allowing to continue, through your ex wife and into OUR family, then you will always be alone. No woman - not me, not any other woman with any self-respect - will put up with it. That is your choice." Actually, I told him that he would never EVER have sex again unless he paid for it :) But don't try that unless you both have a very wicked and evil sense of humour like we have - he took it the right way and it gave us both a chuckle :D I said this out of love, and in understanding for the very difficult position that he was in with an ex wife who behaved like your BM. And it IS difficult for the man as well, trying to keep two women happy, for different reasons. One more thing - start taking a more logical approach over this situation. Men don't respond well to emotion, and the last thing he will want is drama from his ex and then drama from you as well. Where is his peace? His place of safety and security and comfort? Once I stopped fighting with my DH over this issue, and instead gave him a soft place to land after her erratic and aggressive behaviour and attacks, and once I LET GO OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP and helped him build up the self-esteem that she was working so hard to rip to shreds every day, and gave him the strength to believe he COULD have a more peaceful life by being more assertive with her, he started seeing it for himself, and he started changing things. NOT because I wanted him to (and of course I did!), but because I told him that his actions with BM were hurting me and hurting our marriage and family deeply, and I was going to put my faith in him and trust in him to protect us from that and to take care of the situation so that OUR family and marriage could be peaceful, loving and safe. Today, I can promise you, our BM is not an issue in our lives in any way. No tantrums, no threats, no aggression, no phone calls, no 20 text messages a day, no 10 emails a day, no fighting, no drama, no problems. HE is the one who has to do this, but YOU are the one who can make that happen for him. All the best x...See More- 6 years ago
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