My Day....Feb 29th...Hope I don't get to do a do over

14 years ago

In the interest of us that seldom post I am doing this one, also I would appreciate some advice along the way if anyone has some.

I "lost" my sounding board a number of months ago. She was a wonderful lady who didn't judge nor hated anyone. I could ALWAYS pick up the phone and no matter what tizzy I was in...I was granted with the most wonderful heart warming, heart fealty concern....for those moments of self indurance....I was important, I mattered, I had value.

My dear sister in law has passed now and I am at a loss. I so miss her and the times we would just pick up the phone and vent. I feel so alone now.

How do you find a new heart felt sounding board that always had your back?

I miss you (((((((((((Pat))))))))))))))))))

I guess I have to be the grown up now...but I don't want to be.

crying.....again :(

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Comments (13)

marie_ndcal
14 years ago
I am sure someone is out there just waiting and time will tell. I too lost a couple of great friends I could talk to about anything at any time. So far I have not found that special person yet. And yes I am still looking.
OklaMoni
14 years ago
I am so sorry, for your loss. Don't have any clue, how you can find a replacement. I have a sounding board person too. I would be lost without him.

Just reach out... you will find someone eventually.

Moni
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nanny98
14 years ago
I am sorry for your loss too. It takes time to grieve and find new places to land softly. It will happen and maybe you will become one of those 'soft places' for some one else.
alisande
14 years ago
It's tough, I know. Over the years I've had that experience more than once because people moved away--and this was back in a time when calling "long distance" was expensive. Letters were good, but not the same. And it's pretty well recognized that the older we get the more effort we have to put into making friends. It's less likely to "just happen" when we don't have young children.

Nevertheless, it "just happened" that I made a new friend last year, and I'm enjoying this new connection. I wish you the same, Taigen.
Georgysmom
14 years ago
Taigen, first of all you must know that you always matter and you are always important. You may never find that special someone to listen. Not because you're unimportant, but because your SIL was very special. Not everyone is gifted with the talent of listening as was she. I'm sorry for your loss. Instead of thinking of it in those terms, think of how lucky you were to have had her for so many years. That was a blessing some never share.
JennaVaNowSC
14 years ago
Georgysmom. said it well. Keep your memories close. I am very sorry for your loss. and i hope that you find a confidante soon. You do have us here at the KT you know, and we are pretty anonymous, also some very understanding and sincere people here, that have had a lot of different life experiences and could give you advice or just be here to listen. ..
justplaincountry
14 years ago
coming out of lurkdom to respond to your loss. I too have lost my best friend of 22 years. She and I often sat for hours on the phone comparing seed and garden catalogs. Sharing orders, comparing, and oohing and wanting. She's been gone 5 years and still I find myself thinking to share this or tell her that.
I don't know how you find another special heart friend. They come along so rare you just honor them with the good memories. I planted her favorite rose in a spot here, though I'm not good with roses. It's doing well.
nanatricia
14 years ago
I too am so sorry I lost my dear friend 2 years a go and it has been hard to replace her.Then a month a go I lost my other dearest friend my mother and I am having the hardest time dealing with it.It is so hard to re place them .
User
14 years ago
I am also sorry for your loss. I lost my sounding board (DH) almost 6 months ago and it's just so hard to live without him. Somehow we will get through it, and maybe one day we will get a new sounding board.
joyfulguy
14 years ago
It's early days, yet, so don't be in a hurry - let this, now former, relationship mellow and fade into the past.

In the meantime, spend some time with friends ... maybe a bereavement group, if there is one locally ...

... or, if you can't find one, perhaps visit some social groups and talk to the leaders, medically-related services and faith group leaders, who may have contact with a number going through similar circumstance ... and you may find enough interested people to start one.

Give yourself some time to settle into your new role a bit.

ole joyful
kathy_
14 years ago
Hugs.
Lost mine (mom) last year and then my best phone friend moved away and had a cell phone with limited time except after 9 at night.
I'm still "floundering" and have focused more on new hobbies than replacing the irreplaceable. It's really hard being the grownup.
Good friends take a lot of time to grow.
paula_pa
14 years ago
I wish I could be more supportive but it's really hard to make friends as an adult. My 8 year old just has to walk outside and he can find someone to play with. It doesn't matter if they know each other or not - they instantly start talking and find some common ground. The adults rarely come outside and most won't even make eye contact with each other! I became isolated when I was married because my husband was very paranoid and it just because easier to lose touch with friends than deal with his jealousy. Now that I'm single again, I don't even know where to start. I have lots of acquaintances locally, but no sounding boards. Even my mom passed away just over a year ago. It does leave a gaping hole in your life but it's not an easy one to fill.
kacram
14 years ago
Oh, Taigen, I'm so sorry. Everyone else too.
Find a passion, a hobby and try to find a group that
is centered around that and meets regularly. Not much help
am i?

My Day....Feb 29th...Hope I don't get to do a do over

Comments (13)

marie_ndcal

OklaMoni

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