We sleep together but DH is a fitful sleeper at times. If he is really tired or has had too much to drink, he snores and it bothers me but I usually just jab him and he rolls over. He doesn't have a drinking problem or anything, but does occasionally over-indulge. I rarely drink alcohol and am a quiet sleeper. I don't snore or move around much. If he is bothered by a situation he is very restless and will get up and go watch tv in the middle of the night. I sometimes find him on the couch in the morning.

I have the spare room fixed up for frequent use. DH has taken up snoring in the last couple of years, and refuses to do anything about it. If he is the least bit sniffly before bed, I go to the spare room. Or if either of us is not feeling well. Or if we just need to sleep. I refer to sleeping in 'our' bed as sleeping in the big girl bed. :)

I have noticed recently that sleeping together seems more crowded than it used to. We have a queen, and we're both small people. I think we've both just gotten used to sprawling.

I would hate to have to sleep separately! I suppose if either of us snored terribly then there would be no other choice to be sleep in separate rooms though. I know people that do because of snoring. They've just accepted it.

I have insomnia and try hard to make the timing the same when it comes to bedtime. The missus is generally up for another two hours watching TV and then reading in bed. Nope, we don't share a bedroom. It has been that way for several years (right after retirement day).

Any sleeping arrangement, adults mutually agree to, is
fine with me. Frankly, I don't think it is anyone's business. My opinion is that sleeping together is not the only way to have intimacy.

We sleep together, since we don't have objectionable sleeping habits. We're also intimate every night. Ha!

During the week we're in separate towns, as DH works away. On weekends we have separate rooms, as I snore and DH is a light sleeper. Makes going on vacation a bit trickier, as we have to have two bedrooms. Occasionally we share if we have to but it doesn't work well.

Scott, the Queen Mum passed away a few years ago. Do you mean the Queen?

We sleep in separate rooms, for most of the reasons listed above, beginning about a year ago. We have been married 42+ years. But we have conjugal visits. ;)

We've always slept together and I suspect we always will, we even sized down from a king to a queen bed a few years ago. When DH snores, all I have to do is quietly tell him to turn over and he does. He can sleep through anything except for me coming to bed after him. If I'm not tired, I can watch tv using the ear plugs from the roku or read on my ipad...it's a routine we are both comfortable with.

Yes Mike and I sleep in seperate rooms. He sleeps in the larger room (not the master) and I took a tiny room with a twin bed. There's several reasons why I chose this, but the main reason is so I can care for my daughter Amiee thru the night without disturbing Mike who does need to get up in the morning for work. I also have a narrow cot mattress pad under Amiees bed as there's plenty of nights I just sleep on her BR floor.

And, then the bathrooms. Gotta be apart on that, I like to see the counter top. Since day one, we have been separate. It is tough when we go on our cruises, cannot split things and the counters are way too small for the missus.

I would LOVE to have my own bed. I just said this on the other thread - but my dog never bothers me. She curls up and snoozes the night away. But my spouse....oh my lord, he thrashes about so much it wakes me up a million times a night. Every time I bring up moving to a different room he just looks so forlorn. I know he can't help it and I feel bad - but I'm So. Stinking. Tired......

I would hate to have to sleep separately. Cuddling at night with my DH is the best part of the day. He hardly ever snores, smells good too. We've been married almost 26 years and together longer than that. Sometimes one of us is restless and will get up for a while but generally will come back to bed.

Same room same bed, King size, shared with tiny dog. He has always snored, now I snore too, payback for the years of having to listen to him! We both have restless nights some time but stick it out. We don't always go to bed at the exact same time. When we first got married the only bed we had was a twin, Omg that was terrible. We got a full bed as soon as possible. Now I love the king, the rv is a queen and we have to get used to it every time we sleep there.

And another thing. DH has practiced karate for 30+ years. If he gets dreaming of being in a fight, he will sometimes start kicking or punching. I'm a light sleeper, so I wake up at the first kick and scramble out of the way. I've learned that I can say "STOP" and he will, although he doesn't usually wake up. A couple of times, he's told me in the morning that he almost had that (bear, shark, bad guy) and I let it get away!

Explaining to the ER that your DH broke your leg in his sleep probably wouldn't go over well.

Wouldn't think of not sleeping with my hubby.. it's been almost 49 years..

When I was a kid both my Grandparents and Great Grandparents slept in separate rooms. My mother and father were divorced so my mother slept alone but I would see my friends parents and grand parents sleep in the same room and I always thought my family was strange. For a long time I would ask them don't you love each other anymore? Because I was always confused why they all had separate bedrooms.

Our situation is identical to sleeperblues

Answer for us= no. I wake in the exact position I was in when I fell asleep, I don't move a muscle. My wife tosses a bit (so she tells me) but because I'm a sound sleeper, it doesn't wake me.

Married 39 years, currently sleep separately. Mainly it is because we work different shifts, and he goes to bed at 6:00 pm. If I crawled into bed at 10:00 pm, I'd wake him prematurely and he'd never get back to sleep. Me, I'd sleep through anything!

Together. I think there's nothing we do for any amount of time that we do apart. He and the snuggling cat can be rather warm. I love it when we have really cold weather. Everyone is snuggled up, warm AND ALL THREE OF US SNORE! ha ha

For many decades I put up with the snoring and him getting up to pee, but since I have a four bedroom house, I thought this is it. As I mentioned before, he's not going into a little maids room. His bedroom is enormous with a greenhouse window with a gazillion blooming plants, and three other large windows. I do have a fireplace in mine which I have never used since we bought the house 35 years ago. Who wants a hot bedroom? I have an open window year round. In the summer he gets up very early to go to the golf course and I am a night owl so this works out. Really who cares? My daughter and her husband have different rooms too.

My husband and I have slept in separate rooms for about five or six years. He snores and is always hot. I toss and turn and am always cold. He goes to bed earlier and gets up earlier so it works out better for both of us. When we stay in a motel we get a room with two beds. My sister and her husband have slept in separate rooms for many years too. It's probably more common then we know about.

It seems odd to me but that is probably because I've never known a married couple who maintained separate rooms.

I don't see anything wrong with it though. If both parties are happy with the arrangement then that is what counts.

DH and I have shared a King bed for 52 years. Newlyweds discover important things about their spouses once they are married. I was thrilled that DH *didn't snore*! My aunt and uncle often stayed with us when I was a child, and his snoring shook the house. (He also died prematurely of heart disease. He probably had sleep apnea.)

We rarely have a guest complaint on our Maui condo, but one couple were upset that the king there was two extra-long twins fastened together, with a foam insert between them and a thick king-sized mattress pad. They said they could feel the 'crack', and that they needed to touch one another all night. DH and I have had the same configuration forever -- easier to turn the mattresses. However, we've replaced that setup with a plain king mattress at the condo. (The cleaning crew can rotate the mattress.)

Now *I* snore -- sinus problems. DH touches my side, and I turn over without waking. I don't hear or feel him getting up, and he isn't bothered by me doing the same -- good mattress, I guess. We sleep with a window 'cracked' unless it's below zero. We both want total darkness; we each have a penlight to navigate.

"Newlyweds discover important things about their spouses once they are married."

Haha, If you're referring strictly to nighttime and bedroom habits, you're really describing a bygone era for most people. Bygone decades and decades ago. Young people become sexually active earlier and earlier (it was more than early enough for me and the people I knew, no earlier than for my own kids) and get married later and later. Spending long periods of time and negotiating life together - different story. Bedroom habits have been otherwise well explored long before the topic of marriage ever comes up, for most people.

Like your guests, I personally dislike the "twin beds pretending to be a king" setup. It's less comfortable, period.

When I was a little girl my neighbors had separate bedrooms, I thought it strange but figured that's what they wanted. My husband & I always slept together, except for the occasional fight. I think if people sleep without their partner something is wrong in the relationship. But then as we get older things change (snoring, tossing, pain, etc.... so that may be whats going on. To each his own.

Sometimes for my wife's sake, I end up sleeping in the guest room after having too much cheese...

I was trying to be funny about this being my most delightful 'discovery'. I'm nearly 76. I never spent a night in a bed with a man until marriage. I know things have changed greatly. I put it down largely to effective and *available* contraception.

For almost 63 years, we've shared the same bed but since hubby has been diagnosed with dementia, he's gotten very restless and very active, with swinging his arms and legs...There have been mornings I've gotten up with bruise marks on my arms or an almost fat lip...I have gotten to learn the signs of a flaying arm coming my way and am able to wake him...But, I really don't want to move to the other bed, I'm thinking that might confuse him more.....I might have to start wearing a helmet to bed but I'll stay in the same bed.....

I've always hated sharing a bed. I'm a tosser and turner.....always afraid to wake the other person. After 15 years of sharing, I finally moved into the spare bedroom. I can keep the window open now. I can keep it dark....no night light. I don't have to listen to snoring. I can toss and turn to my heart's content. YAY!! I can sleep!!

My hubs and sleep separately because he likes a super firm mattress and warm room. I, on the other hand like a soft pillow top mattress and a cool room. Plus I like an open window as well. We do ave "cuddle time" on occasion. LOL

Where do you cuddle? Hot room or cool room? Soft or firm?

We have a split latex mattress. One can move and the other will never notice.

Tomorrow is our 36th anniversary and we've always slept in the same bed together. I hope that's the case until the end. We do have a king bed though and king comforters as DH will hog the blanket if too small. He does snore and I sometimes do when I have a cold or a

Nothing wakes me up except a light left on in the house at night, or the loud clanking of dishes. DH is a morning person and I'm not, but he doesn't disturb me when he gets up and doesn't wake up when I go to bed. He has his clothes in another room so that helps a great deal.

We cuddle on my side of the bed. It is a split memory foam mattress.

Where do you cuddle? Hot room or cool room? Soft or firm?

Who says you need a room or even a bed? One of the perks of being empty nesters. Whatever, whenever, whereever. LOL

We currently live in a travel trailer, so I got the bed and he got the couch. That couch is too darned hard for my bones. Oh, and we cuddle where ever we want to. Just saying.

Cuddle is that code for xxx

Hahaha. No bedroom needed if you have a kitchen table.

Why is everyone here so bashful?

My husband and I have intimate relations wherever and whenever we can get a chance!

I hope no one here misses an opportunity whilst waiting for an appropriately comfortable bed upon which to do the deed. ;)

You are all so funny. Thanks for the chuckle. LOL

We sleep in a double bed. I have two beds....both antique. The one we sleep in is an Eastlake. My husband takes his half of the bed out of the middle. We sleep like spoons....one of us turns, the other turns...don't even wake up. My husband has the a/c on so cold that if I didn't sleep close to him, I'd never go to sleep...I'd be freezing. He leaves around 4 a.m. to go to the boat. When he leaves, I turn off the a/c and open a window. The fan is always going. I keep the radio on all night. TV is on mute but is a nightlight. I have tinnitus and I need something to drown out the crickets in my head. Fortunately the radio doesn't bother him. He can go to sleep in 10 seconds or less. I am almost the same....I fall asleep very quickly.

Gave it up after the first two months as my dreams every night were nightmare variations of ms worthy's dreads: typically, I was on a gallows or tied to a dock or stuck in a fishing net with the other tuna. Six quick pregnancies didn't require a shared bed.

my husband died after we were married about 19 years. One of the hardest things about being married for me was sharing a bed. Actually, it wasn't the bed sharing as much as the room sharing. He and I had totally different sleep habits: him up early, early to bed. Me up late, slept in as late as I could. Until I was married, I would read myself to sleep. But the reading light "kept him awake." But he could fall asleep on the couch with all the lights on in the house and the TV blaring away! I realized after he died and I began my beloved reading again, that I felt pretty resentful that I was the one who had to adapt to his quirks.

When one of us was sick, (as with many women) I was the one to sleep in the guest room. He was sick, he got the bed. I was sick, he got the bed. And I am no pansy about asserting myself. It was just one of those male entitled things that was easier to give in to than fight. He was a lovely man who loved me to pieces, but there are some culturally ingrained things that really made being married and sharing a room hard for me. Plus, like many men, he took it so personally if I did things that really were all about me taking care of me (like wanting to sleep apart sometimes). Or go into the guest room just to lie around and read out of the din of the TV/sports. Ugh. Like one of my coworkers used to say: "Heterosexuality is a miracle."

Oh, and "Where do you cuddle? Hot room or cool room? Soft or firm?" It seems like every time we'd cuddle it was hot and firm ;-)

My parents had twin beds in the same room. In later years, they each had their own bedroom. Hubby and I found out right away that we just could not sleep together, so off to the couch I would go. We then decided to each have our own bedrooms and we've been married 46 years.

"Like one of my coworkers used to say: "Heterosexuality is a miracle." "

A Google search brought me to learn that there really isn't a parallel opposite word for mysogynist (woman hater). "Mistandrist" is close (man hater). I'm a male and I would suggest your former co-worker is afflicted with some combination of bad choices, bad luck, and bad attitude, to feel that way. I don't think her feelings on this subject are widely shared, there are too many women who sincerely love men (in general, not in specifics) and vice versa. That's what heterosexuality is all about.

(And yes, there are women who love women and men who love men, that's okay too but a different topic).

Elmer, it was a different way of saying Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Sheesh.

Olycheck, I'm sorry that you lost your husband after only 19 years but I burst out laughing when I read a certain phrase in your post!

I guess we'll have to wait and see if sleeping separate effects the marriage negatively. It was only our 52nd anniversary in January.

I was married for 38 years. My husband snored more and more, and louder and louder. about 6 years prior to the divorce we started to sleep in separate beds, cause now he added restless leg symptom to the mix. About 2 years prior to the divorce we moved, and started using separate bedrooms.

I wished, I had started this trend way earlier... and no, it wasn't the reason for the divorce.

Dale (in Florida) snored too, but very mildly, and it didn't bother me at all... again, it wasn't the reason for the separation.

Moni

I would give anything to have another bedroom available, I would be so happy. DH currently sleeps on the couch nearly every night. He falls asleep watching TV because I won't allow one in our bedroom. It's the only quiet space in our very tiny home & I need complete darkness & silence to sleep well.

I don't want to be a jerk about it...and I know we all have our own family. My DH and I sleep together, on occassion someone falls asleep on the sofa but I sleep horribly without him. We are kind of poor sleepers but even though we often aren't touching I know either of us can reach out. I actually like his sleep sounds.