If you're focusing on catching her and calling her out, you're just training her to be a "better" liar. I know some may not like or understand my toothbrush example..but the bottom line is, you should generally be able to be a step ahead of a 6 yr old and know if they are lying or not. Again, don't try to "catch" them or ask them questions they will probably want to lie about. You are conditioning her. I never caught my oldest lying about things. It was almsot like he didn't know it was an option and that he even could lie. He just didn't. Lying is not innate in kids, it is learned. You are teaching her to lie by calling the action out or asking her questions she may want to lie about. Use statements, not questions. Ignore lies or talk through them nicely without saying/implying they are lies... Laughter is even good if the kid is innnocently telling a tall story. Sometimes all they really want is attention. If she's not listening to the lying stories, she's too young to understand them. The age of reason is closer to 7 or 8 for most kids. Most don't understand they are lying or that it is bad no matter how often you tell them or what stories you read to them. Those that don't lie aren't better kids, their conditioning or discipline is just different. You're indirectly labeling your child as a liar and she's living up to your expectations. Take your label and your assumption away...treat her as an innocent child, and I truly think you will have better luck.

First, I have a teenage daughter with myspace. I've seen a lot of pages (all my nieces & nephews have one) and it's common for them to write things like that, they are trying to get a reaction or 'express' themselves. I think there are better ways that doing THAT. If I were you, I would talk to your daughter. I've told my son, when he posted a marijuana background because he wanted to be cool, that people that see his page are going to judge him based on what he puts there. He didn't think it was a big deal. Dr. Phil did a show on this not long ago because girls were posting pictures of themselves, drunk and passed out. Kids don't always realize that what they are doing is 'expressing' to the world that this is who they are. Or at least who they will be seen as. (it's even more pathetic when grown ups put tag lines like that and I have seen some that do) I drove my daughter and a few of her friends to a concert. I kept quiet and listened to them talk. One talked about having sex, one talked about sneaking out of her bedroom window. I dropped them off at the concert and came back to get them, took them home and the next day, had a talk with my daughter. She told me that they were just all talk, trying to sound big. I told her whether it was true or not, that is how they want me to see them? They know a parent is in the car and can hear them so that is what they want me to think about them? (they weren't whispering). She thought about it and within a few weeks, she wasn't talking to one of them. She hardly sees the other one. The one that didn't say anything is now her best friend and comes over. I don't know if what they were saying is true or not but it shows a lack of respect for themselves to behave that way. I told my daughter that I want her to respect herself and if she ever talked that way, whether I was there or not, I would be embarrassed for her. My niece has put up pictures of her drunk and acting stupid and when she shows up for family gatherings, she isn't seen as the sweet girl she used to be. She got married a couple of years ago (she's 21) and had a baby just after they got married. Then, when she turned 21, out came these 'party' pictures and it makes her look trashy. She comes around as a sweet innocent new mommy but puts up pictures that make her look like a drunk tramp. My advice is to talk to your daughter about it. Find out how she feels about her friends' myspace and I'd make sure my daughter wasn't putting up things like that too. I think a lot of it is to get attention, but they are getting the wrong kind.

Thanks everyone for your advice. My comment about SD22 looking after our son on 2 nights in 5 years was to mention out how little time we have had as a couple. We have days together but next to no nights together. This is, I believe one of our problems in that we never were a couple. My partner initiated the relationship while she was still married so we went from a secret relationship to a family of five very quickly. My partner has had extensive family commitments with socialising teenage children. I had little involvement in this and I realise this has affected our relationship. I've never been able to relate to SD22, SS21 father was still on the scene, SS19 always had obscure interests (rollerblading, karate - not much interest for a spectator). I know these are excuses, but its the way it panned out. My partner had plans for her ex to have the children on alternate weekends. It was only occasional that all three went and the weekends my partner elected to have them were the weekends I wasn't working. This was so she could drive them around. This limited our time together. Unfortunately this has created resentment as I've mentioned above. When I raised this in previous counselling, in that I feel our relationship came second, the response has been as mentioned (competing responsibilities, feeling guilty with not spending more time with her children). Partner states we have Fridays together (we both have Friday off), when you take into account school drop-off / pick-up it's only half a day. I know this is family routine, but during counselling Fridays together seemed to be the only compromise. I saw a solicitor 1.5 weeks ago to discuss my options. He suggested one could get a property settlement agreement in case the situation becomes more pear-shaped. A bit like a pre-nup during the relationship. I would lose a lot but I would imagine I would lose more further down the track. If I suggest a property settlement agreement I would imagine this will be a turning point. She may decide to leave. I saw a psychologist 2 days ago to discuss the situation. Only the first visit. She felt the children haven't developed life skills to date. Obviously everything is from my perspective. SD22 is not the only dysfunctional family member. The youngest SK (SS19) - finished attending school, working casual in a supermarket (fired from previous supermarket job for stealing, bludged for 3 months after finishing school before he got this job), owes his father $2000 (car accident insurance excesses x 2), owes his mother $5000 (car accident insurance excess x 1, mother put in 2K extra for car, spent 3K on DJ equipment - part-time interest / job). It gets worse - lost his driver's licence (4 infringements) and blown the engine in his car ($2500 - 3000 repair - parents rightly refused to pay). You could accuse me of making this up, but its true. He also smokes (incl dope at times). Fortunately he spends half his time at a friend's house, so I'm able to tolerate his loud music / non-contributory lifestyle. My partner accuses me of only having negative comments about her children. I know this is true, I know they have positives, they are just overwhelmed. The only SK getting on with his life is SS21. Sometimes I think the only way I could be happy is if SD22 didn't live here. The trouble is I will be seen as cold and callus, and I doubt I would have a relationship with my partner. SD22 does have a father to return to. She was living with him 6 mths ago. SD22 doesn't seem to be working, isn't studying. The reasons she moved back here don't seem to apply now. I doubt our relationship would survive this ultimatum. I know I could tart it up as an option if she didn't contribute (which would seem likely) but it would be seen by my partner as a way of getting to live with her father. Sorry for rambling, I had a bit more time today.

Seems like your step daughter does more than mine. Mine just attends school. My wife has a co-parenting situation where the child goes back and forth between homes. But her daughter left the biological dad’s place permanently after she turned 18 because she hates her step-mom. So she moved in with us permanently. We taught her how to drive and bought her a 16 thousand dollar car so she can drive herself to college. She’s 21 now and a junior in college but she doesn’t do much around the house. Free food. Free housing. She only takes care of her room, bathroom and takes out the kitchen trash. She doesn’t cook because she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t do dishes and leaves her dishes for me or her mom to do. On her free time she just watches tv and hangs out with her friends eating expensive food that her mom gives allowances for. So many other things I probably forgot to list it all. I feel bad for my wife because she does everything for her. I’m pretty nice and always lets it slide but at times it makes me frustrated. However to keep peace in the home I never say anything to my step daughter. I’m hoping one day she realizes how much we do for her and not take advantage of our kindness. Im not sure either because ive heard her say its the adults who have to mak sacrafices. but she is an ault herself. she has voiced that she is living with us forever. i hope not. I hope she finds a good partner or a rich husband because she has voiced that she does not want to work. Why waste money gojng to college then? And yes we pay for some of her college tuition. Because her dad will not eventhough he’s supposedly rich for the gram. she says her dad is struggling because he has 2 more little babies with the new wife to take care of. But just because he chose to have another life doesnt mean he throws out his other kid like trash for someone else to pick up.