Diane, Dawna & Randy: Thanks so much for sharing your greenhouse knowledge and experiences with me. OwieBrain: When that precious baby finally lets you get back onto the computer, will you tell me what you'll do differently when you build the permanent greenhouse after the house you're building is finished? Dawna: Well, wish I'd known about the greenhouse auction too! That's the breaks! Thanks for describing your greenhouse so well. From your description, I felt I could really picture it! You and Randy both made me realize that I needed to go wider than I was originally planning. And thanks a lot for telling me that peagravel is hard to walk on. I had no idea! And, there is no way on this earth I am going to tell my DH just how much time you spend in your greenhouse....even though I am sure I'll spend just as much in mine! I wouldn't want him to think of it as "gaining a greenhouse and losing a wife...." lol lol lol So, where are y'all going to build in the fall? In the same area where you are now? Randy, I think I'd give my left arm to have a greenhouse as large as yours...but then, I'm not planning to make a living with mine, so guess it wouldn't be necessary for it to be that large! I love that yours is expandable. Also, thanks a lot for the description of the heating system...it is an area that has baffled me the most. The Jet Flow system sounds amazing! And the advice on estimating costs is so helpful. Since we've built the mega-garage/barn and the new chicken coop lately, we've gotten pretty good at estimating what it will cost us...and we know it always costs more than you think it will! Last week I was reading a newspaper article about my favorite regional gardening expert--Texas horticulturalist, writer/publisher and radio show host Neil Sperry. In they article they mentioned two facts that amazed me: (1) after THIRTY YEARS he believes his home landscape is "coming along" and he just about has it the way he wants it. That reminded me that home landscaping is a long-term project and I need to be patient! (2) His greenhouse is 30' wide by 60'long! Can you imagine having all that space? I am sure I'll never have a greenhouse that big, but it is fun to think about it, isn't it? With a son in college and with us writing that college some big tuition and dorm payments every semester, my greenhouse may have to start out small to medium and grow over the years, after he finishes college and all that. I do think I will start out larger than I originally planned, though, as wider seems better. I am learning so much from this thread. Hope those of you who have greenhouses will continue to educate me! Thanks! Dawn

Seems like your step daughter does more than mine. Mine just attends school. My wife has a co-parenting situation where the child goes back and forth between homes. But her daughter left the biological dad’s place permanently after she turned 18 because she hates her step-mom. So she moved in with us permanently. We taught her how to drive and bought her a 16 thousand dollar car so she can drive herself to college. She’s 21 now and a junior in college but she doesn’t do much around the house. Free food. Free housing. She only takes care of her room, bathroom and takes out the kitchen trash. She doesn’t cook because she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t do dishes and leaves her dishes for me or her mom to do. On her free time she just watches tv and hangs out with her friends eating expensive food that her mom gives allowances for. So many other things I probably forgot to list it all. I feel bad for my wife because she does everything for her. I’m pretty nice and always lets it slide but at times it makes me frustrated. However to keep peace in the home I never say anything to my step daughter. I’m hoping one day she realizes how much we do for her and not take advantage of our kindness. Im not sure either because ive heard her say its the adults who have to mak sacrafices. but she is an ault herself. she has voiced that she is living with us forever. i hope not. I hope she finds a good partner or a rich husband because she has voiced that she does not want to work. Why waste money gojng to college then? And yes we pay for some of her college tuition. Because her dad will not eventhough he’s supposedly rich for the gram. she says her dad is struggling because he has 2 more little babies with the new wife to take care of. But just because he chose to have another life doesnt mean he throws out his other kid like trash for someone else to pick up.

You stated that pregnancy, unlike cancer, is a choice, in response to my question as to whether it would be ok for a man to divorce his wife while his daughter was undergoing chemo. The implication in that statement is that the pregnancy WAS her fault. Of course I am a parent, and I was married for many years. I responded to your post originally because, in response to organic_maria who suggested that the divorce may have deeply affected the girl, you said you did not think that was not the case. Divorce ALWAYS affects children deeply, even in homes where there is a lot of conflict. I do not believe that excellent fathers divorce their spouses while their children are in crisis - no matter what their age or who is responsible. It is very rare that someone needs to leave right this second - unless the father was being physically abused by his wife. I believe that what the girl needed during her pregnancy was parents who were devoting most of their emotional energy toward her, rather than concentrating on a divorce and/or a new relationship. I have yet to meet anyone, no matter who filed, who did not find the process of divorce after a long term marriage to be emotionally draining. I believe that excellent parents do not date while they are still married, even in states like mine where it takes a lot longer than a few months to divorce when you have kids. I believe that excellent parents (and sensible people in general) do not remarry with a matter of months after divorce. I am sure you have read the axiom about 1 year of recovery for every 5 years of marriage. There is a lot of truth to that. Not only the parents, but the children also need time to recover before a stepparent is brought into their lives.

Thank you for the food for thought - I guess I never really thought she was angry because she doesn't really sound angry when she's talking. And maybe that's what I find so bizarre: it's as if during the course of a normal conversation she starts in without any warning (and usually there's no relevance to whatever the topic is), and with no change of tone of voice and usually with a smile still on her face. You are absolutely correct when you say her life is of her own making, and to be honest, I'm not sure what her real beef is. She has a well paying job, a nice boyfriend, and a decent place to live. Her dad and I live about 1/2 hour away and see her a couple times a month. We moved here a couple of years ago, and she followed with the stated intention of attending a 4 year university which is about an hour away. She had been accepted for the fall semester this year, but then failed all her classes the semester before so was ultimately told she would have to reapply. Now she's got the opportunity to transfer in the Spring semester, but is saying she doesn't know if she wants to do that, she wants to live closer to campus, it's too far to commute, one reason after another why she can't do what she said she wanted to do. She consistently makes impulsive decisions that aren't well thought out, then doesn't seem to realize that she had the choice to make a different decision. When she's complaining, it's always somebody elses fault that she's unhappy or upset. Even when she failed her classes she blamed it on her bad roommates, but never did seem to get that she could have chosen different roommates, or at least checked out the ones she ended up with a little more thoroughly. I feel like we've been as supportive as anybody could reasonably expect: we've had her living with us off and on over the last 3 years, and we give her financial assistance as long as she's working towards her degree. DH and I are in agreement that she won't be living with us again - it's just too much drama in the house. Anyway, thanks for listening and responding - you really did give me a different perspective and I think I will try to suggest to her that she gets some counseling the next time she starts in when we're alone. And as far as Christmas goes, we're going to do something different this year: since it will just be the 4 of us, we're going for a bike ride on the beach, then out for Thai food. I told DH that we need to do something to try to deflect all that negativity, and hopefully this will be novel enough to do just that. Happy Holidays - Becky