Tobygirl, the salad was disappointing. It sounded so good with shrimp, pasta, smoked salmon and asaragus. The dressing was lemon juice, s&p, tarragon and olive oil. It was blah. I think it needs something--maybe onion? I'll put some in it today and see if we like it for lunch. It made a huge bowl full so I hope the onion helps. Any other suggestions before I dive in? Hostapasta, it sounds like you had an enjoyable, productive day. Nita, I don't know how you do it but you cook a delicious meal every night! Debby ab--you were out a little late last night, missy!! LOL! Glad you had fun with your sis and the girls.

ree: I have been OT for a week :) Southern Living came to do a story on the Waverly AL, Old 280 Boogie , last weekend. This is a festival that celebrates the re-routing of the hwy. 280 that runs through Waverly on the way to B'ham AL. We were pleasantly surprised when the folks from the mag, wanted to further investigate the restaurant in Waverly where DS1 and DIL are chef/manager. They came back Thurs. night for dinner and more pics. Now they will send the writer sometime in the next couple months and then place an article in the S.L.mag. The other article on the Boogie will run next year and this article will run sooner and be a separate feature. Pesky: thank you, one only needs to look at menus throughout the country and we are right in the mid range. Given what is happening to prices EVERYWHERE it is a huge challenge for DS to plan and execute such amazing meals. We have the added challenge of being very far from any cosmopolitan area so he has to pay more to have specialty items brought in. No GreenMarket on Union St in NYC for this chef :). deee: we are on Hwy 280 so we are 10 miles from downtown Auburn. Please e-mail me via "my page" and I can get info to you and DH , if you like. We would love to meet him.Caroline Here is a link that might be useful: History of Waverly and 280 Boogie

WOW!!! Your story is terrible. The first thing that comes to my mind is the two commedy movies out there, one I think is Mama's Boy, and I think the name of the other is Stepbrothers. In my situation we have a problem with my husands 2 adult daughters stating that they have been neglected and left out, etc (we invite them to everything, they often don't come because my kids and me are there, they want Daddy to themselves). My SDs do not live with us, they are in college and graduate school fulltime, so our problem with them is not like yours. Your SS is a physical drain as well as financial drain. My SDs are mostly an emotional drain on us. The movies might bring laughter to you. I doubt that your wife would watch them with you. She'd probably storm out of the room after a few minutes. They are pretty funny though. My DH and I rented them, and laughed until we almost wet our pants. It sounds almost exactly like the situation that you describe. I agree with other posters who say that the main problem is with you wife. She does not respect you when she is making these decisions without consulting you. The foundation of your marriage is wrong. The most important person in her life should be you, and pleasing you. The most important person in your life should be her and pleasing her. Major decisions like these should be agreed upon together. It sounds like she has taken leadership of the home, and tells you how things are going to be. You are expected to go along with her demands. She missed the whole concept of marriage. I give you much credit for all of your hard work on this matter. I do not understand why a woman would choose her adult son's desires over the desires of her husband. I cannot relate to this. I hope you saved the torn contract. The three of you need to go to counselling together. Take the contract with you. I have a son who is 17, turns 18 in 2 weeks. I could totally see my son following in the footsteps of your stepson. I have tried and tried to get him to stand up and be a man. Funny thing, he is joining the Marine Corps, and ships out in October. I know that will take care of the next 4 years. But I can totally see him trying to move back home and mooch after then. My husband wouldn't allow it, neither would I. The best thing I can do for my son is push him out of the nest and make him stand up for himself. Some mothers have a hard time letting go. They think that if they do more, give more, that this will help the child. But it only makes the child more dependent and stunts their development as you put it. My hat goes off to you for all your hard work. Stand your ground.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: once someone is a parent, their partner (or potential partner) HAS to factor in that person's parenting abilities to determine if they are a good relationship material. Partners who have vastly different parenting styles will inevitably come to logger-heads over the situation (as you have personally found out). This can occur when the child or children are young as well as when the child is an adult. Your boyfriend should be ashamed of himself for fostering such an unhealthy environment for his son. He's a weak man and a weak parent by allowing his boy to have such poor diet habits and encouraging him to be helpless. What results does he think his approach will get when the boy is age 10, 15, 19? If bio-Mom wasn't as bad, I'd suggest you drop her a note about the situation on your way out the door with your packed bags. However, since she is just as guilty, it won't help. Your options as I see them are to insist on blended family/couples counseling; if he won't go or if he refuses to follow the counselor's advice, I'm afraid all you can do is take your son and move out.