I commuted from my home to work an hour away for 27 years. I travelled by commuter bus and enjoyed it for 25 of those years. Time to read the paper, take a nap, destress from the work day. The last two years were a traffic nightmare and the trip took longer and longer so we left earlier and earlier to get to work on time. I was happy to retire when I did.

I will add, however, that my husband worked ten minutes from home and was always available for the kids in an emergency.

I year ago I took my first job in the city. I went from a 10-15 minute commute to spending 1.5 - 2.0 hours each way getting to/from work . Fortunately , I am able to park my car after 10 minute drive and take the train, and like jak4, I use it as a time to read, catch up on e-mail, surf the 'net (and have dozed off a time or two). I actually enjoy it. There are people I work with who drive in each day, and although they spend a similar amount of time on their commute they hate every second of it, every day. If you don't have a train or bus to take, then I think the answer to the question depends on other factors: How many cars your metro area has on the roadway-- Is it bumper to bumper, or do you pretty much have the road to yourself? Is traffic predictable, or will it vary? Do you have the ability to do your job from home from time to time (when weather is bad, or when the kids need a ride somewhere, etc.). Whether or not you have someone who can get help out with getting kids home from school in an emergency would factor into the picture, too.

My job was outside sales, so I didn't have to punch a clock, and my daughter lived with me but was in College. My commute was 2 hours each way, and I'd leave at 4:30 AM to beat the work traffic, and back on the freeway at 2:30 PM for the same reason. I hated it, not to mention the wear and tear on my car. If I had little kids, I'd suck it up and live in the city that isn't so nice. There is a lot to say about Quality of life and being with your family when they need you.

What about the city is "not very nice"?

Maybe there are parts of it that you would like, and spending an extra 10-15 hours a week with your family is a very nice thing to have.

I commute between 45 min and an hour each way and have for 31 years. While it is usually not an issue and normally an easy drive, I wouldn't have chosen it but for other considerations -- my husband's practice is here and his commute is 4 blocks, but he is more likely to have weekend/nighttime emergencies in his practice. I'm lucky because most of my career I've had some flexibilty in hours (on most days) -- I tend to go in late enough to miss rush hour most days and leave the office after evening rush. The last year has been horrible because of road work and it has often taken 1.5 hours each way, but it is better now.

I did a 72 mile round trip commute to work for 28 years. Do you have access to public transport for this? Puts a lot of miles on your car if you don't. Over the years I found myself leaving earlier in the morning so as to avoid the worst of the rush hour traffic. At the end I was getting to work an hour before everyone else. Fortunately, I was able to work a flexible schedule and could leave an hour early in the afternoon to avoid the worst of the afternoon traffic. Would your job allow you to do this?

I didn't mind 30-45 minute commute when I was young/newlywed/no kids, but now I have two children and that kind of commute wouldn't work for me. I have been stay-home parent the past few years; now I'm looking to go back to work and ended up passing on opportunities that would have a long commute.

I think access to public transportation is an important consideration, for all reasons pps mentioned. It's tiring to drive that much every day, and then come home to kids etc. The train/bus ride offers a chance to de-stress and transition.

However, i know many people who think nothing of an hour-long commute. So it's something you need to figure out if it will work for you.

Is it an hour at rush hour, or in mid-day? Do you want to be involved in your kids activities such as baseball, soccer etc. Those practices won't wait for you to get home at 6:30 if you leave work at 5 and have traffic. You will be annoyed and tired. Are you driving an hour each way, as in 40-50 miles each way? That a lot of gas and wear and tear on your car unless its all un-congested highway. Is your wife home to handle anything that comes up with the kids? Think it through for today's life and the age your kids will be in 5 years. My hubby commutes about an hour, but its pretty standard timewise as part of it is on the train so the traffic is predictable for the commute to the train. Maybe wait a little longer, save more money so you can afford a nice place a bit closer to the city.

My DH had an hour commute, door to door, but could use the train for most of it.

I would look for some area of your city where you can be happy, and keep 'commuting' hours for your family. Schools might be better outside of the city, but IME motivated kids from caring families can learn just fine wherever they go to school. (Unmotivated kids in uncaring families *fail* just fine in the highest rated school districts in the nation.)

Heck, fifty years ago there were folks living in the Philadelphia suburbs and commuting five days a week to and from Downtown Manhattan.

My late father commuted from Staten Island to Wall Street. Train, SI Ferry Ride, either Subway or walk. It worked out... he met my Mom on the Ferry, courted her on the Ferry, and their ashes were (surreptitiously) spread from the stern of a SI Ferry after their deaths.

Here in DC, there are actually folks that commute from WV, PA, and DE... not to mention MD and VA. Those are daily commutes.

I used to commute nearly an hour each way to work and when a job opened up near my home, I jumped at it. Not having a commute has drastically improved my life. I now have a 10 to 15 minute commute. I have more time for gym, hobbies, friends, family, dog, and winding down. With such a short commute, I now market everyday so I have really fresh food all the time. When I commuted I was always popping a frozen meal in the microwave. I am less stressed without traffic as well. I think if you could find something closer it might be better. Chisue made some excellent points. I agreed with them all.

I have never met a person on their death bed that wishes they would have spent more time working...

My spouse did an hour and a half each way for about 10 years. Terrible. There was no train so parking was 100 bucks additional per month. Very stressful for the family.

I had the same years ago in Chicago and ended up quitting that job because of it.

Big cities are diverse so there are probably many nice places to live closer to work.

Good luck!

I agree that the family should work together to keep the commute to a minimum. You know, I have no problems with SAHM's at least while the kids are young (kind of did that myself until DD started school), but it bothers me where a SAHM insists upon living in the burbs where the husband has a long commute. I see that time and time again on House Hunters and there are indications of that here. A marriage and parenthood should be a partnership and while a SAHM is a true partner, when she insists on making the husband's job more difficult by adding an onerous commute, that's plain selfish. A modern husband wants to be involved in his children's life too.

I don't quite understand if your kids will be going to school in the city or if they'll attend school in the town where the house is.

If the kids are going to a school in the city, they will also have a 2-3 hour commute to and from school. That's a lot of time out of their day as well. If they have to travel this route alone, it could be dangerous for them. Then, what happens if they have extra-curricular activities in the evenings or on week-ends? Back on the train/bus/car they and you go. Then, when your kids want to get together with friends from school on the week-ends, it'll be difficult because of distance. Finding friends in the neighborhood isn't going to be easy when there's no common denominator (like school).

On the flip side, if the kids go to a school near your home, it'll be more difficult for you to be there as needed for school activities held during the day. If one of them gets sick or injured at school, they'll need to wait over a hour for you to get there. If one has a doctor's appointment, what will you do? Drive home an hour, take them to the doctor, then drive an hour back to work?

Also, in terms of quality of life for your family, I imagine your kids and spouse would prefer having you around the extra 2-3 hours a day.

I commuted 1.5 hours each way for a year. All easy freeway driving, but I hated it. 3 hours a day of wasted time. When we moved it immeasurably improved our quality of life. Now I bike the 2 miles to work.

My husband's work used to be a relatively short commute from home but over the past couple of years the commute has gotten worse and worse. Often he'll call me stuck in traffic and not know when he'll be home. It's made him stressed, cranky and difficult to live with. Switching jobs isn't possible because he co-owns the business with a couple of other people who live closer to the business. As a result, we're trying to sell our house so we can build a house closer to his business and luckily closer to our sons' school. We love our home and the area where we live much better than the area we'll be moving to but we think the move overall will be what's best for our family. I'll be happy to get more family time with the move.

We recently moved from a suburb of a large city. We lived in this suburb because of the schools. The kids and Ioved it. My husband had a long commute 31 miles. Traffic would be an hour to and from on a good day. He went to work early and left by 4. He hated the commute. He complained about the traffic every day. We have moved. The kids and I absolutely hate where we live now. The schools are so sub-par. There is no comparison. We plan to move back and do a tear down closer to his work. Hoping that happens in the next year.

A half hour would be my max commute. Also depends if you live in a northern climate with ice and snow in the winter- which would make it even longer.

If you have a one hour commute (one way) with 250 working days in a year that's 500 hours of your time. 500 / 8 = 62 working days. With a 1/2 hour commute you would save 31 personal days!

I would recommend that if you can afford to live near where you work, do it. Find an transitional area that is being gentrified - look for a Starbucks (and read that new Zillow book - there's a whole chapter on these neighborhoods).

There are people who have to commute because they simply cannot afford to live any closer. Mass transit makes a huge difference, but it will affect your quality of life. The folks working in Silicone Valley don't have mass transit and even with the carpool lanes you're probably driving 1 - 1.5 hours to afford a rental.

Making your kids commute is even worse. They won't be able to do any after-school sports or clubs or activities and won't be near their friends (not as big a factor with technology these days). I went to school with a 45 minute commute and it was awful. Couldn't do sports until 11th grade when friends had cars and I could hitch a ride.

I don't think the kids will be commuting, just the poster. Personally, if it can be avoided, I suggest not doing it. Especially if you are driving in heavy traffic.

Have you done a couple trial drives at rush hour to see how it is?

I think this is a personal choice. I live near the place I work and I love it, I paid a lot more so that my commute is less than 10 minutes in traffic. On the other hand, I have colleagues that drive 90 minutes each way for work and wouldn't have it any other way. I also have a colleague that keeps an apartment in town as his drive is just a bit under 6 hours each way. He drives in early on Monday and out late on Thursday, he hates the thought of moving here. Many of the small towns up and down the area interstates are filled with people who make 60 and 90 minute commutes daily. They prefer that lifestyle, but prefer the job opportunities in larger cities. I don't understand why any of them would do it, and they don't understand why I won't.

There are a lot of factors that can play into whether or not it is a good idea and those factors can change over time. Right now, the commute is only an hour. If the area grows/increases in population, that amount of time could increase a little or a lot. How one feels also depends on if that hour is spent actually driving or just sitting in traffic most of the time.

My DH does commute. We have a home on acreage that we enjoy and it is in a good location between 2 cities that have government work (which is who his employer is). A house like ours closer to Santa Fe would be double the price (on a city lot), perhaps triple with acreage. I work at home so I am close to the kids needs for school and socializing. I think it is important to have one parent close to the kids. There are times when the commute does get to him but when he hand the opportunity to apply for a job with a pay raise and shorter commute, he chose not to. There are downsides. He cannot invite his co-workers over for dinner and if we are invited to something, it takes a considerable amount of time. We could sell and buy something closer, but that would be a major disruption to the kids and our life outside of work is here. When the kids move out, he will only be about 4 years away from retirement so our lives will have changed again.

If you do buy a house that far out, like most house purchases, it is best to have enough equity in it that if you decide to sell, for whatever reason (in this case shortening your commute), you can afford to do so.

"There are times when the commute does get to him but when he hand the opportunity to apply for a job with a pay raise and shorter commute, he chose not to."

He did not apply for a job with a pay raise and a shorter commute because he likes the longer commute?

No, but the longer commute was not enough of an evil to him to make the other job more attractive even though it did have a pay raise.

For 17 years, Late husband and I commuted together, 32 miles to the city where we both worked. It took an hour, longer in the summer, and that was not the traditional rush hour. We left at 6:30 am, left work at 3:30 pm. As long as we did it together, it was okay. When my schedule changed, frankly, the cost of running two cars that distance didn't make sense to me. We moved closer to the city, cutting the drive time basically in half. And before we moved, we actually got up one morning, really early, drove to the potential new house, and drove to the city from there to time the drive and get a feel for the traffic.

I live little bit abroad from US.Anyway it will take me at least one hour to go to work from place, where I would like to buy a new house.This is the biggest question - is it possble to travel every day 2-3 hours to work ? One must consider also taking care of children when they grow up, avability if something happen and other.

This situation depends on many other circumstances - like if both of parents have cars or not, how far is it from city - are there some possibilities for getting better ? and others ...

For me, now, I will buy house somewhere out of city although there will be some problems.Peace and quiet of your own house on a countryside is much higher value for me then comfort.

Thank you verrry much for your answers.

Hey, good luck! Thanks for coming back and providing an update.

Some of this may depend on your network as well. If you live near family and friends, you have people available to do emergency pick ups from school or get kids to sports in a tight after school schedule. That helps tremendously!

I have had a commute of 45 minutes one way for a time, and it wasn't terrible, but we didn't have a family yet. It was sometimes terrible at the end of the day when that commute became an hour and a half.

My spouse has a 15 minute commute, but uses that as an excuse to work 12-14 hour days and misses everything anyways.