i don't think I would switch him from the team. I think that would give the wrong message to him and the other boys would find fault with him. Thoughts about this -- First, if you didn't try to fix the problem and just removed him from the team, I agree that would send the wrong message. That you run away from a problem and don't address it. However, if you attempt to address it and it does not get resolved, then you leave the team. IMO, this sends the message that you tried to fix the problem but you cannot control others, and you will not let your son be abused in this manner. I am not sure how this can be the wrong message. If you worked for a company where you boss was abusive, and the company wouldn't change it, would you stay? Or would you find a new job? About going to the coach instead of the board -- I would bet that this coach has heard this before. If this is how he coaches, I doubt it just suddenly appeared this season. There were probably parents in the past that said something to him. In my experience, they do not think they are doing anything wrong. In fact, they think they are toughening up the kids and teaching them how to win. You talking to him (or writing letter) will do nothing to change his behavior, IMO. I could be wrong, of course. Everyone is different. But, in my experience, they think they know better and you're just babying your son. Believe me I've heard it all from the coach, the coach's wife and other parents. On the other hand, I had parents tell us they were impressed with what we did. I think the only thing that will change his behavior is the threat of losing his team by his bosses (the board). I don't know if your board will do that. It won't change what the coach thinks is the right way to coach, but it might make him temper his words to avoid losing the team. Having our son leave the team he'd play with for 3 years was hard. He was playing with all his friends in town. But, we knew we couldn't leave him in that situation. And he had finally had enough of the abuse and without prompting from us, he said he wouldn't play for him anymore. My son is now 13, so we've been gone from that team for 3 full seasons. Best thing we ever did. He's played for some really wonderful coaches. And some bad coaches too. But, he's learned that not everyone is like that. And he's met some great kids from outside town. I'm not trying to minimize how hard it was. I was sick over it for a long time. It made me so angry that we were forced to leave a team where his friends played because the coach was a jerk, and the town wouldn't do anything about it. It still makes me angry! But, in the end it was a good thing. My son learned baseball from other coaches and organizations we've played for and is a better player for it. It has also taught him to deal with situations of being the new kid on the team. For some kids, this is easy. My son is not outgoing and that is not an easy thing for him. But, on every team he has made friends and I think he's learned that even though he's uncomfortable in that situation, he can handle it. Another good life lesson. I apologize for my long rants on this. I am so passionate about this. Youth sports is a strange place. We've had some awful coaches and some wonderful coaches. And the parents! Don't get me started on the parents. Some are as bad or worse than the bad coaches. But, I've also made some wonderful life-long friends through my son playing. My DH and I and another family (that also left town at the same time), are always saying we should create a reality TV show - "Travel Ball". You would not believe the things we've heard, mostly from parents, on the sidelines of games.

Yes, the culture has changed, and most people realize it. Perhaps young adults in the workplace are more aware of sexual harassment now because of being lectured about it in college, but old fogies like dh and me are not unaware of how times have changed. He self-edits his conversation at work for many reasons, one of which is realizing that what he may think of as an innocent remark someone else may find inappropriate. An example is that he no longer comments on personal appearance other than perhaps to make a generic remark such as, "You look very cheerful today" and he's been heard to say the same to both men and women. Sadly, for those who've experienced real sexual harassment or assault at work, there are those few who cry foul for no good reason. Dh is aware of a couple of women who have a history of making such complaints and he takes pains to never be alone in an office, conference room or elevator with them, despite his reputation as an "altar boy" who would never dream of doing anything immoral. Some men don't get it and keep making inappropriate remarks that might not have raised an eyebrow 30 - 40 years ago but are not well received now. This situation isn't about just words, but about actions. And the victims aren't adults but children. And showering with boys (or horsing around while nude as the perpetrator termed it) is not just "strange" but so far over the line as to render the line invisible. I cannot fathom how Sandusky believed that was innocent behavior. Did he go home at night and tell his wife and family about playing nude in the shower with some boy? If he believed it to be okay, then why not?

I found this: Oklahoma Football Legends Reunion DVD Over 30 of the legends of Oklahoma Football talk about the great games, the inside stories, and the memories of Sooner Football. Includes footage from great Oklahoma football games. To order by phone, call 1-800-820-5405 Here is a link that might be useful: www.sportsreunion.net/

Peaceful protest is everyone's right IN AMERICA -- whenever, wherever -- because this IS America. I do not have a public arena in which to protest, but if I did...I would protest there. I stopped flying my American flag during Cheney's administration -- ashamed that we would lock people up without due process -- and torture them. That terrifies me AS an American. I'm sad about putting the flag out every morning right now. I love my country, but I am ashamed of us. My ancestors fought in the Revolutionary War. Family has served in WWI and WWII -- fortunately NOT in the undeclared war in Vietnam, nor the other politically/economically motivated 'military actions'. It's never "My country, right or wrong."