Oh Martin-
I still tear up at that part, and I've read those books many times, for myself and out loud for children. I hope you and your family continued with the sotry-it is a lovely one-
and there are 8 books in the series.

I cry easily and am the type to tear up at Hallmark card commercials; my mother, her sister and my sister all have productive tear glands. My sister and I laugh that we could hire ourselves out at funerals... My eight year old son is the same (for better or for worse.) He once cried, hard enough that we had to put him to bed, at a small cartoon drawing of a junkyard/dump with a teddy bear at the top of the heap. It reminded him of his own beloved "Cordy" and just the thought that he could one day be discarded... Reading aloud to my children has found me crying over "Stellaluna," "Polar Express" and "Journey to Ellis Island"
and noone is dying in those stories. Matthew dying could put son and me over the edge.

On the other hand, my pre-teen daughter is a hard-hearted one. When a book gets even vaguely heart-string-tugging, she eyes me suspiciously, looking for any sign of a voice-cracking or eye-tearing. We watched "Phantom of the Opera" last weekend and once again, I cried and she did not. I think sorrowful shows of emotion over fiction flummox her, as they do Mr Bookmom.

Yes, we were able to finish it - fortunately, my eighteen-year-old was in the car, listening to her music on headphones - so she was able to comfort her until it got better.

"I though you said that I'd like this book!!" said Lisa through her tears. But, of course, she did like it. I'll have to read her the whole thing (or perhaps she might read it herself one day soon.) The audio-book was very severely abridged, unfortunately.

Last time this happened was a few months ago, at the very end of the film of The King and I. My mother had recommended it to Lisa and I - neither of us had seen it. In the last five minutes, I realized that the King was going to die - but it came as a dreadful shock to poor Lisa. I remonstrated with my mother about that. "Oh!" she said. "I'd completely forgotten he dies at the end..."

bookmom-is your daughter by any chance more science and maths oriented than english and history? I'm testing out a very unscientific theory developed as I substitute teach.

Sweet story Martin.

CeCe, fwiw I'm science and maths oriented and a cry baby.

Ditto my husband - cries at movies all of the time. Usually they are the same ones I cry at, so we make a good team. And I am a english/history oriented person, and tend to be less sentimental than most folk I know.

However, the last book that made me cry was Time Travelers Wife. And after I finished, I started rereading it - and cried again at the end. History of Love was another one that left me moist eyed, as did Far Pavillons.

Martin,
If you ever have the opportunity to view this series starring Megan Follows, Colleen Dewhurst et al don't miss it.
I just found the entire series on VHS tapes at a local Salavation Army store and grabbed them for my 9 year old granddaughter to enjoy!
I love the story so much and Megan Follows is absolutely fabulous in the role of Anne Shirley.

Yvonne

Martin, thank you for telling us that story. Anne of Green Gables is a wonderful novel. If I were to make a list of the hundred best children's books, I'd put it early on the list. And some day I'd like to go to PEI (where my grandfather grew up, BTW).

The public televion dramatization yoyobon mentioned is excellent. I'm sure your daughter would like it.

However, as with many series, each book is less wonderful than the one before. I enjoyed the first one unreservedly. The second is worth reading. I'd skip the rest.

I can remember as if it were yesterday reading those books so many years ago and crying like a baby when Martin died. The tv series was beautifully done I thought,and every once in awhile I'll haul them out and watch them when I need a "feel good" fix. Megan Follows,Colleen Dewhurst and Richard Farnsworth were just excellent.

I actually grew up on the tv series, which is now available on DVD and I plan to buy them (the first 2, that is. There was a third made, but is not very good and has nothing to do with the books.)

From the televised series I then decided to read the books. I love the first one. I haven't got around to read more yet, but I will. I hear these books are very popular in Japan and China.

I don't consider myself to be a very emotional person. However, a very good friend of mine passed a few years back. At her service, a mutual friend sang "We Shall Gather at the River". To this day, I can not remain dry-eyed when I hear that song.

A few years ago I became a die-hard fan (no pun intended) of the tv show, "Six Feet Under". If anything I became a little too involved in the programme. I became really upset when Nate's wife Lisa Kimmel vanished. When after an agonizingly long wait, it became clear that Lisa was dead, well, I felt like I lost a friend...a weird reaction on behalf of a fictional person.

I constantly embarrass myself with my overactive tear ducts. I like to consider myself quite sceptical, if not a little cynical, quite macho in the compulsory Aussie manner and hate having my emotions manipulated in books, movies etc. Despite this if something sneaks under my guard, even if overtly sentimental, I usually succumb to my emotionality with rather disturbing ease. Anybody seen the movie Love Actually? Watched this with a lady of my acquaintance and several times almost shed a tear. At the end there is a sort of documentary scene with relatives joyfully hugging each other at airport reunions. Was too much for me. Tears flowed. Luckily my companion was equally overcome and I was able to camouflage my unseemly wussiness in the guise of comforting her.
Reading being a more solitary activity seems to engage my emotions sometimes in an extreme fashion. I remember reading Seabiscuit on a train a while back and was discomfited to find myself tearing up over some equine triumph Hate to embarrass myself on public transport so had to put the book down until I reached my destination. Such a bloody sook. Don't think badly of me. Larry

I was taken to see Bambi in the 1940s****( Spoiler coming up!!) and after Bambi's mother dies, was so distressed that I had to be taken out of the cinema. It took my mother, grandmother and two usherettes to calm me down enough to go back inside.
I have never read or seen anything I know is going to upset me ever since!

And to add to that thought........never, never, never watch OLD YELLER!!

I think at that point, I would have had to pull the car over and bawl for a while right along with the little girl.

My son (at about 4 or 5 years old) was furious with me for taking him to see Bambi. He was crying his eyes out and sobbed, "You said it wasn't sad!" (I never said that but I hadn't realized just how sad it was.)

Does anybody remember reading The Yearling?

I am a crier. The book I did the most sobbing in was Across Five Aprils. That scene where the brothers meet in the prisoners of war, pitting brother against brother. Whew!

A story of my own involving one of my kids...

My son, then about 4 or 5, was stretched out on his twin bed with me, and I was reading Charlotte's Web to him. It was getting on toward the last chapters, where it was becoming more and more obvious that Charlotte was preparing for her end. Adam (my son), was already old enough to have been trained in the "men don't cry" attitude, so as if to prepare me, he said in a very soft and choking voice,"I think I'm going to cry." Unbeknownst to him, I was feeling emotional, too, so we just sobbed together for a bit. It was so sweet, and I remember it fondly. Said son is now 23 and married!

I'm another who cries at the drop of a hat. I sobbed my way through Beth's demise in Little Women, through Matthew's passing in Anne and through any number of children's books including Charlotte's Web and The Enormous Egg.

My kids rarely tear up at anything, but I get very emotional. To this day I refuse to read any animal stories and I was petrified to take the kids to see "Because of Winn-Dixie" (*** SPOILER AHEAD ***) because I was so sure the dog would die -- to my great delight, he didn't, and I was so relieved I sobbed through his homecoming instead.

My worst trigger is "Daddy, my daddy" from the Railway Children - the book, the film or just the mention of it are enough to get me all choked up.

Not as bad as a distant relative, though, who cried in sympathy at the plight of the old big peas who were not let into the factory gates in an ad for tinned or frozen peas...

Another easy weeper, here. Just the thought of poem "Four Little Trunks all in a Row" from Little Women will start the tears flowing. Some years ago, I re-visited a few childhood favorites, such as "Dog of Flanders", "Black Beauty", and " Bird's Christmas Carol" and to my surprise, was moved to tears. I'm a weeper at movies, too, crying in "Phantom of the Opera", "Love, Actually," GWTW, "Dr. Zhivago" and many others.

I don't tear up very often, though it can happen. I'm more likely to feel a pleasant, gentle melancholy. But a couple of movies in the past few years have done that to me, the end of Million Dollar Baby and several scenes in The Sweet Hereafter.

I'm much more likely to cry from frustrated rage than from sorrow.

>When after an agonizingly long wait, it became clear that Lisa was dead, well, I felt like I lost a friend...a weird reaction on behalf of a fictional person.

tim, I have done that more times than I care to admit. When Sally died in ER, or Blake died in MASH, I was a basket case. Done it with books as well - in the final book of Sharon Kay Penman's Welsh series, it was like reading about a family tragedy in the paper. But, but, I wanted history to have a happy ending!

larry, I would never think badly of you. The teary moment in that movie tho was when Emma Thomspn opened up her Christmas present. Her face went from excitement, to surprise, to pain, to holding it all it, all within seconds. Then when she excused herself to listen to the CD, the tears came.

Most teary time in a movie was Madly Truly Deeply. My engineering type husband was sitting between me and a good friend of oure. I think he started crying first, but it wasn't long before all three of us were reaching for kleenex.

Then theres the silent Chaplin classic The Kid . When the little boy is reaching out his arms screaming (silently but you can still hear the screaming) 'daddy daddy', makes me cry every time. And then there is Dumbo, watching mama and baby trying to hug while in the background you hear 'Baby Mine'

Ok, gotta stop - I think I'm getting teary eyed just thinkig of all this!

My theory began last year, when I was the permanent sub of a 6th grade for 9 weeks. I got to know the kids very well in that time. In reading, I was reading Walk Two Moons with a small group of the best readers. There's a sad moment and some of the students were tearing up, but not one girl. She turned to me and said "They have too much imagination!" She is a maths whiz, and all ready at age 12 can articulate that she wants to do scientific research "in a big lab."
Later I did take the opportunity to discuss how scientists also need a certain kind of imagination to do research-the "what if..." kind-but she answered "yeah, but they imagine feelings. Like it was their mom or something."
Her responses made me observe the students I teach in a different way. As I said, a very unscientific study, but interesting.

Anyone ever see Day Of The Dohphins with George C. Scott and Trish Vandevere? ( his wife) They gain the trust of some dolphins in order to train them and this wonderful relationship develops. The dolphins even learn to say "pa." In order to save the dolphins from their being used by the government,Scott has to chase them away and the only way he can do it is to pretend he hates them. So there he is screaming and yelling at them telling them to get lost while they keep crying "pa." I could sit here and cry in a minute if I think about it anymore. Sniff sniff. Not as bad as Old Yeller though..nothing is.

cc, I have met students like the young lady, but I suspect there is more than a connection between math vs english. Many factors cause us all to feel differently about the same things. I couldn't believe how many people in the US were hysterical over Princess Di. But then others wouldn't get my sadness at the death of some obscure author. Interesting observation tho.

One of my students a few years back showed signs of being a weeper very early. I was reading Are You My Mother?, and as I was reading 'I want to go home, I want my momma!', I turned to see my most tomboy girl in tears (at the age of 4). I had to stop, assure her that everything was going to be ok, and then continued.

I cry at anything that touches me, and so does most of my family. One of my nieces said she cries at a good McDonald's commercial. The funny thing is I very seldom cry for myself.

Saw a production of Little Women on stage in London, and there was a lot of sniffing when Beth died--and not many children in the audience.

Does anyone remember the Friends episode where Phoebe found out the real ending to "Old Yeller," "Bambi," and the like? Her mom had always popped the video out early and told her the movie was over.

Yes, I remember that Friends episode. I'm afraid I cry at anything sad or happy. Just reading these posts have had me in tears. Anne of Green Gables is at the top of my list of favorite books and I've cried many times about Matthew.

Why is it that children's books and movies are so often sad? I've often wondered about that. The animals usually die in the end and that is always heartbreaking, even for me as an adult. Is the point that someone wants to teach children about death?

>Her mom had always popped the video out early and told her the movie was over.

The first time I showed Snowman to my class, I had three in tears. So ever since I have stopped the video at the point when the boy falls back to sleep after his adventure. Probably wrong of me - but 3-5 is probably too young to have a discussion about loss, esp when said 3-5 year olds have major communication problems which make explaining very diffiult.

Martin - Anne of Green Gables was pivotal for me when I was your daughter's age, or perhaps a couple of years older. Anne was a role model for me at that age, someone who taught me to use my imagination and at the risk of sounding trite, "to dance like no one is watching."
Make sure she reads it! (Save her from being one of those young girls who worship and emulate the Britney Spears and clones. Ughh!)

I have never been much of a crier. My sister is the exact opposite. She even cried every year when we watched Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer. It was a given that she would burst into tears when the Abominable Snowman was getting ready to make deer sausage out of Rudolph, while I sat beside her rolling my eyes at her sensitivity.

However, this afternoon I finished reading My Sister's Keeper, and it just about did me in. I didn't cry, but I certainly did have the proverbial lump in my throat.

I am a weeper. Emotionally I'm very empathetic - I can hold it together when I need to (in a clinical setting ), but both happy and sad tears easily come.
For those who don't cry easily, I think it has a little less to do with the math/science connection than the emotional - "put yourself in their shoes" - connection ...that the little girl mentioned above so astutely commented the other kids imagined feelings...I think some people are born with the ability to hold themselves back, and some probably develop it for reasons both good and bad.

DD has a form of learning disability called Non-Verbal L.D. ... The name is confusing - people with this have problems with non-verbal communication (which accounts for about 80% of our interactions). She is actually extremely verbal - the world sometimes exists more for her in the written page than in the connections with real people -- (I often quote an old "Peanuts" cartoon in describing her: Lucy cries out "I love mankind - it's people I can't stand!") Despite her challenges, she has learned how to connect, and has also matured; when we went to see Les Miserables last summer, she was almost as teary as I. She and I have fairly different personality traits, but I have grown so much from learning to raise her.
"It takes all kinds", and I think that's a really good thing....the yin must have the yang.

take care, litlbit

A few years ago I watched the Rankin-Bass production of Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey and

*spoiler alert*

went into hysterics when mama donkey froze to death to protect her little Nestor.

Cece, my daughter likes science and "Integrated Language Arts" and loves to read, is not fond of math or social studies and she is the one who has never shed a tear over a book. (and she has read "Anne.") She would cry at the age of 2 or 3, when in the movie "Winnie the Pooh" Piglet's house would flood but other than that, she is dry-eyed. I think those tears were from fright rather than identifying with poor flooded-out Piglet.
My son, who inherited my soft spot and productive tear glands, also likes to read, but fantasy and non-fiction and is strongly oriented to math, science and history but dislikes writing on paper.

Sheri, I took my daughter and one of her friends to see "Winn Dixie" and I teared up whilst my daughter glared, embarrassed.

I am a real crier - happy or sad, books, TV or films, it doesn't matter. The demise of Beth, Jamie sending Claire away, any number of animals James Herriott couldn't save (remember the old man who gave him a cigar after his dog was put to sleep?? - it's making me tear up just thinking about it). Strangely, I am much more immune to real disasters, as long as they are not personal.

My mother, in her inimitable way, used to say to me "Your bladder's too close to your eyeballs" *VBG*

I find it worrying when people shed tears over someone fictional or famous (Princess Di), but cannot handle personal grief. [Please do not assume that I am referring to any of you who have contributed to this thread! I speak mainly from personal observation here in the UK.] When I lost my mother 15 years ago, I found that a lot of people expressed their condolences in a formulaic way, and then got visibly nervous at any mention (however dry-eyed) of my mother. I felt like I was losing her all over again, not being allowed to talk about her! A couple of 'friends' even broke off contact because they could not handle my loss. - Death has become the big taboo in our culture, which may be why there is such a need for fictional deaths to provide an outlet for a sanitized version of grief.

Ana, thats not just in the UK. People are very uncomfortable around tears, and especially talking about death or dying, and never know what to say to someone in mourning. So they either say something inappropriate (worst example I have ever heard - a relative told a mother who had just lost her 19 year old daughter in a car accident 'well, you are young enough to have more children). Or they say something that has no meaning to the mourner (someone knowing I am Jewish saying 'She's with Jesus now' could not figure out why I'd be upset) What they don't realize is often the mourner just wants someone to hold her hand, someone to share memories with, someone to run some errands, someone to sit and listen to the tears and the rage, or someone to just sit in silence.

>Death has become the big taboo in our culture, which may be why there is such a need for fictional deaths to provide an outlet for a sanitized version of grief.

Interesting observation. I think you might just be right, in the same way the original Grimm fairy tales may have helped people deal with the violence in their every day life...

100 years ago, when most people died at home, when there was more visible illness - was talking about death as taboo as it is now? Were people expected to keep an upper lip, chin up, all that?

I cried all through my (second) wedding reception. People kept saying such nice, touching things to me; so why did they tease me later for crying?

I don't know why people don't think before they speak at funerals. All one need do is find an appropriate line and stick with it. It's not like you will be repeating it to the same person. I haven't forgotten a woman who told me to have a nice day the morning of my mother's funeral.

Carolyn, here in the depths of the backwoods funerals are treated very seriously and take on the aspect of a social event.
Newpaper 'death' notices are scanned with interest and excuses for attendance and non-attendance are mulled over. Some of it is pure 'ghoulishness' . . as in the case of a local family who's son committed suicide not long ago.
I have one friend who goes to every funeral making sure she arrives at the church up to an hour before the service begins, in order to 'get a good seat'.
She told me (I'm sure without realising what she had said) that at a service for a member of a large local family, and having arrived very early, she walked over to a sister of the deceased and said "Well, so-and-so, none of your family live to a good age, do they?"
As some of you have said the attitiude towards death have changed so much in the last 70-100 years. Not only was life much shorter for the majority of the population but before modern sanitation, inoculations etc babies and children could die like flies in the various outbreaks of scarlet fever, diptheria and so on.
The Victorians in the UK (and I'm sure in other countries) managed to deal with the problem without going mad with grief, by the complicated rules of mourning they observed.
Heavy black was worn for so many months, followed by 'half-mourning' for another length of time. Letters and envelopes and hankies had black borders round them, widows wore special 'mob-caps' and 'widows weeds'. Young people couldn't attend parties, weddings were held-over.Some people complained that no sooner had mourning finished for one family member than another died and they had to start all over again.

I am one who is very uncomfortable around people shedding tears, because I know that it won't be long until I join them, and I am very embarrassed about crying in public, even in front of my best friend. It may be due to the fact that my mother was always a bit short with me when I was crying, as she never seemed to cry herself.

Other things that bring the tears for me: children performing (I bawled all the way through my eldest son's first end of school year performance, without regard to the fact that he was only in a tiny part), others crying, either real or on film or TV, parades of any type, bands of the brass/school type (not Kiss or Pink Floyd *VBG*),watching New Zealand sports teams perform the Haka, even though I'm an Aussie, performance of the Last Post or reading of the poem we have on Anzac Day ("They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old; Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning, We will remember them." Laurence Binyon).

My dad was a weeper. Mom told me that he cried all the way down the aisle, even at the rehearsal, when he gave my cousin away! You can imagine what he was like when my sister married. And there I stood at the front of the church waiting for them, and I mean, how can one not start weeping when one sees one's daddy doing so? Daddy couldn't abide funerals. He never understood how people could talk casually and even laugh at them. We had to drag him to them and he would cut out as soon as possible, always sitting in the back and sometimes leaving before the service was over. Sort of funny, 'cause We had over 400 people at his funeral service.

Another weeper here. I tear up over the littlest things, (as well as at parades, weddings, and funerals). Even though I have read Anne of Green Gables several times, I still tear up when Matthew dies. There's a children's picture book called The Last Dinosaur. I can't even look at the cover, let alone read it. Just the thought of it being the last one left, all alone ,and wondering what happened to the others breaks my heart.

I am not really a weeper in general and have only cried while reading a book about twice in my life...however movies are a different story altogether-I rarely see a movie that does not make me cry.

>Heavy black was worn for so many months, followed by 'half-mourning' for another length of time. Letters and envelopes and hankies had black borders round them, widows wore special 'mob-caps' and 'widows weeds'. Young people couldn't attend parties, weddings were held-over.

I've heard many stories about these rules, and always thought they were hard hearted. People all grieve differently at different times. Setting up a set of rules and keeping people from enjoying life for a year just seems cruel. Tho perhaps the routine of the rules helped, much in the same way that people in mourning often return to work sooner than later, for it gives them some structure and reason to get up for the day.

That being said, We follow rules of mourning in Judaism, and I am so used to them that I almost dont think of them as rules. You sit shiva for 7 days - you don't leave the house, you don't work, you let others serve you and feed you, take care of the kids, deal with relatives and such. Then each Friday for a year, you attend service to say Kaddish (mourners prayer). There is also a service at the end of the first month (and I can't for the life of me remember the reason for it...)At the end of a year you have a service at the graveside. I like the pattern of knowing what comes next, what to expect, and the slow way that you are encouraged to re-enter the world. Doesn't mean grieving is over in a year of course. Just a way of structuring the mourning a little.

> He never understood how people could talk casually and even laugh at them

I was 19 when dad died. After the funeral, we all were at our home to sit shiva. I remember running to my room in tears, because all of the family and friends were standing around talking and laughing. I couldn't stand it. It took me awhile to realize that such talk is what is done to share memories and bring comfort. But I don't think I left my room till most people left.

I cry at movies and books, but otherwise am pretty unsentimental in real life. So I was sure I would be fine at my wedding. Everything was going fine, no major stress, I was happy and excited, and then my sis put a kleenex in with my bouquet. Told her, I don't need it. She only smiled. Well, as soon as I kissed my mom (who walked me down the aisle) and took my grooms hand, that was all she wrote. I was sniffling most of the service....

Cindy, your mourning rules seem quite useful to me - as you say, it helps to know what comes next, to have a pattern to follow, without it being as rigid and restrictive as the Victorian thing.

Re weddings - I got very giggly at my first wedding; last summer, I just beamed hugely all the way through, but my dear new husband choked up with tears at the beginning of the vows. I thought that was wonderful...

Astrokath, I love the Laurence Binyon quote, also. The first time I read it was on campus at the University of Virginia at Charlottesville and it made me cry. I copied it down and have used it on occasion, not knowing it had to do specifically with Anzac Day.

I am one who tears up at anything patriotic, be it "La Marseillaise", "Stars & Stripes", or "Amazing Grace" done on bagpipe music. Almost any military music or parade will bring it on, in my case.

Mary over here Binyon's words are always spoken on 'Remembrance Sunday' at the service held at the Cenotaph in Whitehall, and at thousands of other war-memorials up and down the country. Always very moving occasions, as are the words of the Canadian John McCrae In Flanders fields the poppies blow . . .

Here is a link that might be useful: Flanders Fields

veer, when I was in HS, a fellow drama story read that poem for his oral interpretation assignment. He also read another called (I think) Answer to Flanders. Very moving as well, and I'd love to see a copy again but have never been able to find it. Does it sound familiar?

Well, I thought of this thread this morning. Listening to some Rod Stewart, including Vagabound. Heard once again one of the saddest love and lost songs in the world 'If Only'. Does not matter how many times I hear it, I tear up.

Cindy, is this what you were looking for?
Perhaps not so 'poetic' as 'Flanders Field' but obviously written from the heart by a regular GI.

Answer to Flanders Field; 1945

"We Sleep"

Oh list you dead in Flanders Field

Please hear your buddies plea.

We too are from that far off land

Three thousand miles across the sea.

Like Father, like son we heard the call;

Our friends in need, our allies Fall.

The self same road your foot steps trod.

Did you hear battles thunder and hear Bombs fall?

No Father it wasn't your echoes at all,

We have returned, they called again.

I join you Father in eternal sleep,

Our work is finished, again we have peace

We lay at rest in Henri Chapele,

In St. Lorent where first we met hell.

Your sons have joined you,

Your ranks have swelled

As we look heavenward in our sleep,

We ask our God the peace to keep

Let's make one plea Father dear

That throughout the coming years

Our sons will guard and safely keep

Our Victory ------ We Sleep.

By Billy B. Black

290 AT Co.

Written at Camp St. Louis, France 1945