Strange. I hate situations like this. You'll have to reciprocate, but it would be w/ something homemade.

Boy I wouldn't know what to tell you...I've had the same thing...Our neighbor across the road will NOT look at me...I have tried to say Hi or wave but she turns her back everytime I look her way. Her husband is nice and will help if needed...he even gave us his phone number to use if we ever needed help.

Then there is the couple who property joins ours. There is a good two acres between our homes...plus a tree line...so I don't see her unless she is out walking her dog.

We have been here 10 years this week (could be today) since we moved in here...Seems like a couple years ago.

Yesterday we received a photo card of them and their two sons...Had they not signed their names on the back I would not have known who they were.

I'm getting a card ready right now to get sent back to them.

I wish I knew nice things to say...I'd love to have neighbors out here like I had in town..
In town , our whole end of the block was like family.

patti

Just take a plate of cookies, and a Christmas card. By the way, I went to my neighbors on both sides, the peeps across the street and their next door neighbors the first Christmas here, and gave out home made goodies. I never got anything back.

BUT, the peeps across the street kept my freezers content for me, during the power outage.

Moni

Well,I have always believe people can change! I don't understand why you would be reluctant.It seems the woman is at least trying to be cordial.Maybe congeniality is not her strong suit? Maybe she has a difficult time relating to people.Could be a million things! Give her the benefit of the doubt.
I would probably reciprocate,and see nothing wrong with something home made.

I would reciprocate with some sort of gesture. It can't hurt. But not reciprocating might say "Yeah, I hear you, but it's too late, I'm not interested." It's never too late to start a new friendship with neighbors, no matter how long they've been neighbors.

9 1/2 years? Mrs Neighbor grew up and matured! :-)

Cameron

I would reciprocate with a plate of cookies. It's not like they are unfriendly neighbors since the husband is a good neighbor.

Perhaps she just suffers from social anxiety or some other disorder. As long as she has never done anything unkind towards you I would accept this gesture of goodwill at face value. They came over and wished you a happy holiday. That was nice.

I hand out plates of goodies to the neighbors I know. We barely wave at each other for most of the year. You don't have to be best pals to be good neighbors.

Awwwww.....maybe she has social anxiety disorder. I had that for a long time, and I just locked myself in my apartment and never went out. Maybe the last neighbors that lived there hurt her, so she vowed never to get close to another neighbor. It could be a number of things. She did invite you to the open house, which was a very personal occasion. I'd say that she expected a reciprocal invitation, and never got it, so she thought YOU didn't want to be friends. The door swings both ways, you know. I don't hear about you going over to invite her over for coffee or anything.

As far as not waving, maybe her sight is bad. Since you don't know her at all, how do you know all these things aren't true?

I'm painfully shy in crowds of strangers. I used to go to a neighborhood bar for karaoke, but I never spoke to anyone who didn't speak to me first, because of my shyness. Later on, I met and dated someone from there for awhile, and he said everyone thought I was snotty. I am definitely not! Once they got to know me, they could see that, but I can see where they would think it at first.

First I have to say that reading this reminded me of the Slowskys commercial. Don't know if you get it or not. The Slowskys are a Turtle couple, who after 8 years have invited the neighbors in for dinner. Mr. Slowsky says they don't believe in rushing the Meet and Greet thing. lol

Anyhow, I mentioned a similar thing to my DD today. My next door neighbor left a bag with Banana Nut Bread and a card on my front porch yesterday while I wasn't home. The bread is from a local bakery. We are friendly with each other when we are out, but they haven't been in and I haven't been in their house. I told my DD it does make you feel like you have to reciprocate. I just wish she hadn't left it. I guess I'll take some cookies, if I get any made. Haven't so far.

Sue

We have really nice neighbors on one side of us and then we have the other neighbors on the other side. They have never liked us. We've been here two years. Apparently there is some history involving them with regard to the property we bought (has absolutely nothing to do with us) and the woman hates anyone who lives on our property (she hated the people before us too). My DH has been relentless in waving to her and her DH whenever he sees them outside. Finally about a month ago she waved back and actually smiled. I about fell over dead! lol It took all I had but I waved. IF she were to bring over something in an effort to be "neighborly", I would accept it and I would reciprocate. I really don't know what their problem is but I would love to get along with them. Luckily we live on 1 1/2 acres so it's not like they are right on top of us but still they are our neighbors.

You should reciprocate. It can't hurt.

Thanks for all your replys. The KT has been helpful as always when I ask. First off, this woman owns a successful business where working with the public and good communication skills is a must. Secondly, when she is outside, it is within the fenced in swimming pool area. The only way in is through a locked gate or through their house. The house has 4 steps to get in. I cannot do steps. She should know this, as the only time she sees me , I am on a handicapped scooter.

I will of course give the benifit of a doubt, and reciprocate even though I will have to do some baking that I hadn't planned on. I already have everything ready for my 3 other neighbors that I always give to. I just don't want to make her feel that I think she was giving to me just to get back from me, and I don't want her to feel obligated to do it again next year. So, I am off to make more pumpkin and nut breads, and maybe some fudge. I won't do cookies, they are too labor intensive for me right now.

If possible when You do over, try and ask her
If she has any hobbies, about her pets, children,
Most people will respond. Olga
I wish You Good Luck,

I am your neighbor. :-) We live in the boonies now, but DH and I lived in two other homes in town before moving here. We were in the first house 2-3 years and the second house 10 years. He was always the one who knew the neighbors, whereas I was the hermit who never wanted to get acquainted. Once I did, they were very nice people, so I'm not sure why I was so reluctant! But yes, if you have something made and feel compelled to return the favor, you should do so. Maybe she is trying to be friendly in her own way.

Good Luck and I agree with Olga when you go try and make small talk see if you can draw her out? Stacy

Ha, Rita could have written my post for me, I'm shy and Woody's outgoing, he insisted on going over to all our neighbors' houses and meeting them and I was mortified. They are all very nice and we all pretty much leave each other alone as we don't have much in common, there's no pestering, but they're there if we need them and vice versa. Our nearest one is about a mile away.

I would be wondering "why now, this late in the game?" but then I'm a skeptic. (I've got all kinds of theories but I'll keep them to myself!) If they were just in a really giving mood, I'd say thank you but do nothing back until next year. To give them a gift now just looks very reciprocal.

I am a very social person and I love people. But, I have shyed away from getting to know my neighbors to well.

When my Daughter was a newborn I had many restless nights. I would sleep when she slept. My Neighbor across the street would come over and knock on the door. I would pretend not to be at home hoping she would go away. No... she would bang on windows until I gave up and answered the door. Then she would say "I was about to call 911, I knew you were home, because your car is in the driveway." I told her I was TRYING to take a nap.

The same neighbor would call me as soon as I pulled into the driveway after going on errands. "Where have you been for so long?"

I could go on and on about her. But, I felt like I was being stalked. It was weird. So, I distance myself from neighbors.

I don't babysit, dog sit, water yards, for neighbors. I once lived in a neighborhood were I was the "free help". Never again.

I like my neighbors, but we have respect for each others privacy.

Gayle

We live out in the boonies, yet four of us do a baking trade among ourselves. Nothing big, just cookies or bread; last year I made candy. The rest of the time we wave as we drive by! Perfect situation! Kathy

Has this woman been rude to you? Does she ignore you? Why doesn't it seem to count that you both know the husband very well?

Paula, I guess I kinda think it rude to not offer a friendly "hello, welcome to the neighborhood" woman to woman. You do make a valid point about us both having a good relationship with the husband. My plan right now is to send a Christmas card thanking them for the lovely gift, etc and "we would love to have you stop by anytime. We are here any time the kitchen light is on". A day or two after Christmas, I will have DH deliver some zucchini and pumpkin bread plus candy if I can make it and tell Mr. and Mrs Neighbor that I ( meaning me) am gonna get them to help use up all that zucchini one way or another. Last summer, when I offered zucchini to him, he laughed and said "someone already gifted me with a slew of them during the night. They are on my porch!" I then jokeingly offered him tomatoes, which he was happy to accept, but the catch was, I told him, that the zuchinni had to go with them". I gave him just tomatoes..several times. Hopefully it won't seem so blatently reciprocal that way, but just goodwill.

Like some of the others have said, my DH is very outgoing and knows all the neighbors. I'm pretty much the opposite. I'm friendly if approached, but rarely make the first move.

I'd take them some cookies.

They talk often when they see each other in the yards and often help each other with little jobs outside. I have gotten to know him well also.
My guess is that maybe he or 'they' thought it might be a nice gesture considering the hubbys are friends. You said you gave tomatoes and zucchini...maybe beverages and snacks to her DH when he was helping at your house. They were in a way reciprocating for what you had already given throughout the year.

I think the Christmas card with a thank you is appropriate, and I would leave it at that.

With all the hustle and bustle of life at this time of year, do you really want to start something like reciprocating at this time of year? If you do, it will likely become an expectation/obligation. I would instead maybe take them something warm and homemade in Jan or Feb...when it would be better welcomed than at this time of year, when so many folks have such an abundance of sweets/baked goodies.

That's just me though, marching to the beat of a different drum.

Sue