That's a hard one Joann. Bless your heart. But, yes, I would say something to the doctor.

I've never been in a situation like that, so I don't know if my opinion is useful or not, but I'd tell the doctor. What your sister is doing has too significant a potential impact on her health to keep it from someone who's trying to maintain or improve that health.

If you decide to tell the doctor, I would do so first, and then tell your sister that you've told. No point in entering into a lengthy argument over a done deal.

Good luck with this, Joann. I don't envy you this situation.

Absolutely I would tell her doctor. I would call, make an appointment, and tell the doctor then - before your sister's appointment. Only then would I tell the sister.

You have to tell the DR. If you don't and something happens you will never forgive yourself. Sounds like she needs rehab and it won't be the first time. So sorry you have to deal with this. It must be so draining.

My DD was an abuser of drugs and will be an addict the rest of her life(yes, even tho she is no longer using...) I go to Nar-anon meetings - try to find one in your area. They will help you see thet you are not alone and that you need to set boundries in your home - are her actions good for your neice? Are they good for the rest of your family? You both need help - I'm NOT coming down on you. Honest. I was here you are today and now I am at peace and able to deal with her. Please go to Nar-anon. I'll say a prayer for your family

Honestly, I don't think this should wait until next doctor's appointment. She needs to be stopped today. Call the doctor and see if she can go in this week. Can you go with her?

Will she go get more Benedryl if you just took hers?

What a nightmare for you, and I am so sorry. It is difficult to do the right thing.

Your sister needs attention to her meds so she can be a functioning person. What she is taking now isn't working, or at least it isn't being given a chance to work because of interference of the Benedryl, Ativan.

I would tell the Dr for his or her sake alone.
It sounds to me that you probably learned long ago that reasoning wiht an addict is like trying teach a pig to sing, but I would tell the doctor.

I would tell the doctor for sure. You can't stop her from taking them, but at least the doctor could avoid prescribing things that might cause an interaction and perhaps run some tests to see what damage she's causing herself.

I'd call her doctor and tell him. I'm not sure why you feel the need to tell her you're doing it or even have done it-it may only keep her from going to the Dr..

She's a drug addict-- the rules of respect and trust are out the window. You need to figure what tactic will work best for everyone involved. A heated argument with a drug addict who is probably in denial may not be in anyone's best interest. Am I missing something? Is this your way of getting her to see the doctor?

I'd tell the doctor, but I'm not sure I'd tell her before the appointment. She may not go. If you're going with her I'd tell her you talked to the doctor after you're at the office.

She lives in your home, a child also lives there.

Report her to her doctor...ASAP, but don't expect much. Hopefully, her doctor can talk her into going into a rehab facility, or at least seeing a psychiatrist.
Unfortunately, our laws prohibit any forced treatment until the person does something that proves she does physical harm or does something is a danger to herself and/or others.

And, then...it's usually too late.

I agree with the others. I would make a call to her doctor and explain what she's abusing. That way the doctor can not get roped into prescribing more meds, (something more dangerous) for her to abuse. If you feel you need to tell her you called the doctor, tell her after you leave the office otherwise she probably won't go. What a difficult situation! :(

Blessings,
Haley

You guys may be right about not telling my sister I've told the doctor. Carla, thanks for what you said about the rules of respect and trust being out the window - I'm thinking about what *I* would want in the same situation, but I'm not an addict.

I'm not going to try call the doctor immediately or try to force my sister to get any treatment. She's been abusing various medications for more than 30+ years, and I am long since done with trying to save her from herself, which is why I even questioned whether to tell the doctor now. If she kills herself, then I'll be sad, but it won't be my fault.

Grandma_bonnie, I have gone to Al-Anon (no Nar-Anon within an hour's drive). I know I'm not alone. I do set boundaries for my sister. I just won't kick her out because of the possibility that I won't be able to get custody of my niece. I'm a lawyer myself, and I've consulted with two different domestic relations lawyers. I know the odds, and they're not good enough for me to take a chance with my niece's life.

I agree 100% with what Carla said. She is dead on about the rules of respect and trust going out the window when dealing with a drug addict.

Carla hit the nail on the head.

I'm not sure there's a point in telling the MD. The MD must know this goes on with your sister and with most addicts. Testing her liver, etc. only sounds good. Neither the MD nor you can save your sister; she will eventually die of this abuse.

I'm sure YOU are taking full responsibility for protecting your niece, so the child isn't going to be more or less endangered regardless. The only way to protect her completely is to separate them -- and you are stuck on that.

I'm assuming the legal advice has been to just try to cope. You can't get your sister well, and if you report her neglect, your niece may not become YOUR ward, but the STATE'S, and we know how that works (doesn't).

So sorry.

Your sister needs to see a psychiatrist. She sounds to me like she is severely depressed possibly with agoraphobia or some other social dysfunction, along with drug addiction. Many times those with mental disorders will self-medicate with either drugs or alcohol. I would try to get a referral from her primary care physician after you tell him everything you know about what she is doing and taking. Has she ever had electric shock therapy? It is done very humanely these days, under general anesthesia, and has helped some people with severe depression. I am not trying to diagnose your sister, just telling you that there may be other ways than medication (or different meds than she is taking) to possibly help your sister become a functioning individual.

Joann, absolutely tell the doctor but don't do it for your sister, do it for you and for her daughter. If you do not do everything within your power that you are able to do the guilt will eat you up when the inevitable happens. You want your niece to know that no matter what, you love your sister enough to try to save her from herself.

Ditto lynn d.

Definitely tell her doctor. It may be invading her privacy, but what she's doing is dangerous, so you would be saving her life!

your sister needs to sign a living will, and give you custody of her dd...surely she realizes she not a functioning parent?

my "aunt"s sister went thru it all, including shock treatment, and that was before it perfected. we had to babysit the sister when she was called out of town...mother found a bottle hidden in the bathroom light fixture...but the great thing, she did survive, was reunited with her children (they remained back in the hometown) and went on to remarry and had a good sober life...she did pass away earlier than she should have, but it was sober...

I wish you all the best..

I agree with Carla also. I wish you luck with this.

No way should she be directed to a psychiatrist. That would just be anothere new dr. For her to scam a few prescriptions from.

I'd absolutely tell her dr. You owe your niece that much.

She's BIPOLAR!! I would assume she has already been seen /is being seen by a psychiatrist.

Her doctor needs to be told she is not being med complaint. That not only means not taking prescribed meds but also taking them wrongly,taking them with other things or self medicating with other drugs legal or not.

If she lives with you, you need to set boundaries! That means she has to take certain responsibilities for herself that yes YOU get to dictate. They have to be within reason of course but just because she is mentally ill she doesn't get to make bad choices that affect others. She has to function to the best of her ability as a member of your family.

Please contact your local NAMI to learn skills to deal with this situation.

They have location all over the US. They also have a great 12 week program called Family to Family to help family members of the mentally ill learn how to cope.

They have peer to peer programs for the mentally ill.

I've linked to it below.

Here is a link that might be useful: NAMI

This isn't a new problem. She was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder probably 25 years ago. (I'm not sure exactly when, because she had various other diagnoses for years before that.) She's had excellent, cutting edge psychiatric treatment from two world-renowned medical centers, has been hospitalized several dozen times, has been on virtually every psych med known to mankind, usually when they're in their trial phase or soon thereafter. She's had four courses of ECT. She sees two therapists. Everyone involved knows that she abuses her meds.

As for boundaries, she would tell you that I am heartless and set far too many boundaries. But there is a limit to what boundaries you can set when they have no teeth. The only boundary I haven't set that I *want* to set is, "Stay clean or you're out." But she knows I won't kick her out because of my niece, and she manipulates me with this. So be it. I can live with that much better than I could live with knowing my niece was stuck in some crappy apartment alone with my sister.

At any rate, I wrote a quick note to the doctor tonight, so thanks for all the input.

God keep all of you, Joann.

ole joyful