I should feel terrible, but when my 2 boys left home, I would have been standing at the door with their bags in my hand, probably giving them a bit of a shove. :)

My daughter is 15 so we still have one at home. I'm rather anxious to have the house to ourselves. Luckily, both boys live very close by and we see them daily.

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely. Will you get to spend the holidays with either of them? I hope so.

Well, I miss my 21-y-o son. He's away at UT Austin, so I see him occasionally. He is home for the break right now, but he still has to go into town for work.

I also have two stepchildren. One is in San Francisco, the other in Japan, with 2 children.

I do miss them. I also revel in the fact that they are adults, living good lives. My husband and I have sent them into the world prepared for the adventure.

That's exactly what we worked so hard for!

I miss mine also - but I'm happy for them. They're out on their own, and living wonderful lives.

When DD#1 got married I really missed her, and when DD#2 went to college my DH felt it worse than I did. I don't have to worry tho' DD#2 is moving back in with her two kids since her *#@+ DH filed for divorce and she had no inkling of anything, thought they were doing better than they had in a long time. We all thought that, you just never know.

I'll enjoy having her here as we enjoy doing the same things. We plan on getting her a mobile and putting it on our land. She will really like that as she's wanted to be out in the country and her soon to be ex wanted the city life. Well, now he's got it.

With DS never really missed him, as he lived with us when first married and since he was the oldest when he moved to Ca. still had the girls at home. Sure wish he lived closer though.

When DD was preparing to move out last summer (26, had boomeranged back here for a few years while she got her career on track), I was a mess. Glad she was buying herself a condo, but really sad about her leaving, and worried about how much I'd miss her.

Well, that didn't last. Oh, she's still in her condo, but I quickly discovered how lovely it is to go to bed at a reasonable hour (I used to stay up until 12 or 1 so we could chat once she came in). Having the bathroom to myself in the morning is a true luxory. Our electric and gas bills have gone down considerably. I LOVE the freedom of being an empty nester. And I don't really miss her all that much--she calls a couple of times a day, stops by several times a week, so we talk every bit as much as when she was living here.

Actually, it gives me great pride to see that she's on her own, taking care of herself, being self-sufficient. Means I did my job correctly, and is a feather in both our caps.

I think you get involved in something that matters to you ...

a craft, being a volunteer ... doing SOMETHING so that you're not just walking around an empty house, wondering what to do?

It's the same thought process for workaholics who eventually have to retire ... they don't know what to do with themselves. In your case, it sounds like your children were such a focus for you, that you're just empty without them.

This is your time, enjoyingspring. Find something fabulous to do with it!!!

HUGS to you!

Friends of ours got ENS and they decided to do foster care. They do so well at it and it makes them feel like they're making a difference- which they are. :) I know it's not the same as your own kids, but perhaps it's an option?

Otherwise, hugs to you!
Blessings,
Haley

Oh my! If I could only be so lucky! Mine leave but keep coming back.LOL I have a 38 year old DS and a 15 year old DGD living with me right now.It never bothered me for my kids to leave home.Guess that makes me a bad mom.Yes I missed them but I figure they needed to spread their wings and take responsibility for themselves sooner or later.Just wish they would now! I'm getting too old to take care of them.LOL

I felt terrible alone when both girls had left. At first, I offered my husband a divorce, but then we decided to give it another shot. Then we moved. I had to go out and make new friends. I think, the move helped tremendously. Yup, that's it, move. :)

Sorry can only tell what worked for me.

Moni

i still worry about the kids, and now the grands, but we value our alone time, and are never far away by phone or visits for the 3 who live in the same area...

it is hard having my oldest dd1 in another state...i don't get to have my dgds as often as the others..

but they acomplished all the "goals" we had hoped for, so figure our job is done...

would you be able to care for the kid/s of working Mom struggling to make ends meet, or help out in the school system, volunteer with a big sister program, read to kids in the hospital, offer to help in the nursery at church or a daycare. There are many kids who need YOU in their lives for many different reasons......please reach out to them to help "fill your nest"

I was ambivalent..DS lived here for the four years he was in college so when DD went away to college , he was still here. I was glad when he left to move near by to a condo and get married a few months later.., altho it didn't last. I really missed DD because after college she moved to VA and I didn't see her often. Now she lives and has for many years a five minute drive away and DS lives 20 minutes away. I wouldn't want either to move back but I guess they could if circumstances changed for them.

I am with you. I missed my kids when they headed off to college and careers. DD married. Son #1 located about an hour from here. DD had baby and shortly thereafter located close to her brother. Now we have 2 of the 3 close at hand along with GS and DSIL, and I love it. I make it easy for them to come and go and do not drop any guilt trips on them. So they love to come home. And I babysit occasionally too. Our youngest is in his last year of school, so we treat ourselves to flying him home for any holiday that he can come. So far he has made all the big ones. I guess I am saying it does get better often.

In today's busy world, there are lots of kids around that need some attention, affection, guidance and love.

Someone just to listen to them, for one thing. Offer them some respect for who they are.

ole joyful

I understand. My marriage ended about the same time that my mother died at the same time that two of my three daughters left home and moved 1,000+ miles away (and my "baby" left home for school) at the same time that my best friend told me to go to hell. So, I lost 'em all in a period of four months.

Whether you're saying goodbye to your kids or to a whole lifestyle, the core issue is to re-orient yourself to a new life. The old normal is gone and will never return and you have to find and create a "new" normal.

I threw myself into a new career and for a time, that was 95% of my life and it kept me from going insane.

Kids come into our life for a season and then they're gone. The most comforting thing I ever learned (through my own fiery trial) was, people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Rose

I forgot to ad, try something totally new. I really feel, focusing on new is a better option than going the volunteer route for kids.

Moni

Our oldest daughter moved out almost 10 years ago. I missed her, but not so bad because we still had the youngest at home. When the youngest left for college I was just heart sick I missed her so much! She was in and out for that first year and then switched schools and moved into her own place an hour away! Youngest and oldest both lived in their own apartments in the same big old house. So even tho they were an hour away at least they were kind of keeping an eye on each other!
My hubby and I found out that being home alone was really very nice! LOL We eat supper in our pj's and watch what ever we want on tv!
Now after having the youngest on her own for the last 4 years the oldest is getting ready to move home with her 2 yearold! No problem! We have the baby here several days and nights a week anyway.

I agree with what Moni just said. Try something new. My DW encourages me to get outside my comfort zone. 4 of our 5 have left the nest. It's not empty but, it sure is a lot quieter. I'm a shy person, Dw is outgoing. A few years ago she joined Toastmasters. It's an organization that promotes public speaking. I had speech class in high school and college and it almost killed me. DW drug me to it kicking and screaming. I love it. I have a bunch of new friends; everyone is very encouraging; not judgemental. Last Spring I even won a local speech contest between six area clubs. I'm still stunned.
Get out there and trry something totally new and different.
Ron

I have always wondered what that would feel like. My son is 23 but has Autism so will be with us forever. He is like a little kid in some ways so I still do a lot to take care of him. I know this sounds terrible but I sometimes dream of being free.
Clare

Stay busy! But sometimes do get teary!
Son is only 15 miles from me!

Not me. My daughter moved out when she left for college. She lives nearby tho and I see her every week. She's happy. I'm happy. The thing that may have helped me...I was married 15 years before she was born, so I was used to being "home alone". I've always had a lot to do, so stay very busy.

Thanks for all your responses. It is interesting how everyone deals with it differently. My one daughter that is married lives close by so it is easier to deal with, but the one that lives so far away is more difficult. Distance does make a relationship a little more difficult at times.

I probably felt worse when the youngest (of 5) went away to college...It took me 2 weeks before I could go in his room without crying...But when he got married, different story...He wasn't home from the honeymoon and the bed was gone and it was my craft/quilting room...4 of the 5 live fairly close and visit all the time...That youngest lives in another state and I do miss him....
Best advice, stay busy....Volunteer, take up a hobby, do something for your self....

My one and only is in college an hour away but is home for the holidays. I miss her terribly but when she is home for awhile (like now), I'm thankful I raised her to stand on her own 2 feet. That's what they are supposed to do. As for the empty nest, I have been taking self interest classes. I took a class on quilting and my and DH took a dance class. I have to stay busy. What I think I miss the most (besides having her home) is going places with her, her stuff at school, the friend's over etc. I can never have that back. But I keep reminding myself that kids are only young for awhile. Yep, staying busy helps the most.

Stay busy and follow your interests. Having an empty nest is a good thing. Get a cat. Cats are lots of company and can be left home alone if you go away for a weekend.

Do you work? You could volunteer at a local elementary school, even if you just go to their library to read to the kids regularly. You'll love it. Maybe even call your own kids elementary school to see where you could help out.

My nest is empty, but we do keep in good phone contact with the "kids." I work part time at an elementary school, and it really does lift the spirits to be around children. I enjoy interacting with the kids. Sure brings back memories too.