Definitely rude. When she invites you for a visit, she should not take a social call and leave you hanging.

I wouldn't go to her place next time she asks, or if you really do like her company, invite her to your home once.

After the first time, I would just leave.
She will get the message she if wants you to visit, she will have to stay off the phone.

One of my best friends does this to me alot. She'll call me and then proceed to talk to others in the room with her or worse yet be eating something. ugh. I want to just hang up on her.

Definitely rude. I don't answer the phone when I have guests here, period. That's what answering machines are for. Unless it's an emergency, if she just let the answering machine pick up, she could have two visits. One with you and one with the person calling after you leave.

I feel the same way when the guests are in MY home, and take cell phone calls........and chat away about everything under the sun.

When my phone rings when company is here, I either answer it and say I have guests, or let the machine pick it up.

Shirley

I certainly agree that it's rude. It's just basic manners. Next time it happens, give her about 2 minutes and then motion to her that you're going to leave. And if she waves you down, maybe wait another minute. If she still seems that she'll carry on, leave.

And repeat if it happens again.

I'd probably go one step further and say, gently and at a good time when you see her, such as if she again suggests you stop by, that you notice that she gets several calls and it's uncomfortable for you to sit and wait while she has another visit, by phone.

You are not wrong - she clearly doesn't know simple manners, at least this one.

I agree - rude. I would also say I would come back another time and keep doing it until she gets the message.

schoolhouse i don't think people realize just what you can hear on the phone...way back in middle ages when i was an information operator you wouldn't believe the sounds i'd hear...

Susan, I was an information operator too. That was way before it changed to Directory Assistance.

Linda

I have a relative that occasionally does that--only when she is talking to me on her cell (cheaper), she will take a land line call, and talk about 5 minutes. Last time she did that, I could tell it was just a visit, I just hung up and when she called back, it went on the answer machine. She calls regularly, in a few days, when she called me, and asked me about it, I just said I had to make a quick trip to help someone out--sorry!
Your friend is rude, and I would just get up and leave.

Tell her you just remembered you had to make a phone call, then excuse yourself...
(I was "directory assistance" for awhile many years ago too)

It is definitely rude and would make me extremely uncomfortable. I would probably smile, wave to her and walk out the door.

Yep, it's rude. I'm getting tired of rude people lately, I bet you are too.

I was an information operator back in the Stone Ages when I was in my early 20s.

When you get up to leave, stick to your guns and do it. As it is, she is controlling you, like a marionette on a string.

I agree with jemdandy & mamatoad, since she had done it to you several times before, the minute the phones rings, i would get up with her when she goes to answer the phone, and tell her you will visit with her another time and walk out the door!

And like jemdandy says....stick to your guns about leaving! Hopefully she will get the message!! No excuses necessary.....she is the one being rude to YOU!

Having done it many times in the past, I have it down to a routine now....when they invite me to stop in, then sit there talking on the phone i get up and rather loudly announce,,,"I stopped in to visit, if I wanted to watch ppl BS on the phone I could have gone to Mickey D's!" and I walk out.

And when ppl come to my house I don't mind if they answer their phone, but if their get into a long winded conversation I simple announce rather loudly that they can take that noise outside.

Am I being rude? Your damn right I am, but rudeness seems to be the only thing some ppl understand

I agree with you, it is very disrespectful. I would leave.

It is very rude, I would do just as jemdandy and mamatoad suggest, I would leave without further discussion. And if she didn't offer an apology I don't think I would return. I don't have time for rude people.

Is this person 'all there'? Perhaps not. If she is mentally competent, yes, she is rude, and you should excuse yourself and leave once you know she's just chatting.

Maybe you should call before you come? Maybe you should use your cell phone to call her as soon as you arrive so that you two can chat!

I had a friend who did the same thing, I think she stopped doing it because I dont notice it anymore as much. I think it really makes you feel unimportant.

She is rude, but I bet she does not even know it bothers you. Next time this happens wait till she is off the phone & let her know you do not like sitting there while she is talking to someone else. I don't know how old she is but a lot of times older people (like me) just don't "think". Good luck with this problem.

I agree 90% of the time. One caveat, if the situation is that I stopped by unexpectedly and they were expecting a call, or someone they regularly talk to, I'd feel much less slighted. If I'm invited over and they do it, then I'd leave.

It's not a big deal to say I have company, I'll call you back or call in an hour or whatever. They are just selfish people that want the best of both worlds. You've given enough chances, next time, get up smile, wave and head home. When asked, simply say the call was more important. I might even say up front upon the next invitation something like will I be interrupted by phone calls again?"

To me it's no different than call waiting - a major peeve of mine. If someone is on a business line and needs to answer another call - that's great. That's what they SHOULD do. But if I'm talking to someone and they put me on hold, I usually hang up. They can call me back. If it happens again, I hang up again. Some get the message after a bit and ask and I simply say obviously the other call was more important to you than I am so you can contact me when you're ready to talk to me. There's exceptions of course, if they're expecting a return call for an appointment, a doctor, job interview, etc. But this "me, me, me" society doesn't cut it with ME-ME-ME!