I would be very PO'ed~~yes I would contact the funeral home that is just sick!!! Depending on what they say I might make a complaint with the Better Business administration

Though it usually takes quite a bit to annoy me, in this case I would be very annoyed.

I'd be interested in hearing what they have to say when you call and tell them what happened...and what's up anyway with a 'man' making such a call. How childish. I wonder if 'maybe' they reached you in error instead of another number for someone they really knew.

Sue

Okay--thanks--I'm trying to plow through my emotions on this--it's been a very emotional 2 weeks, trying to take the best care of my aunt in her situation. Was wondering it I was over-reacting, because honestly, I've been so upset anyway.

I honestly don't see how the call could have been a 'mistake' (they were trying to get someone else?)--since it came to my unlisted phone # AND the caller had my name. Spooky, really.

I'd be surprised. I'd wait 'til I found out how it happened before I got crazy. I'd forget about 'til Monday.

I'd be calling that number back today looking for answers. That's more than a coincidence.

Sounds like a drunk who dialed the wrong number.

You should file a complaint with the phone company AND the police - that is totally unacceptable, and someone needs to own this one - I am so sorry this happened to you! The phone company knows whom you have called and who has called you - if you can pinpoint the time of the call, they can do something about it.

That is just crude, for whomever it was meant.

I would not wait. I would call the funeral home now, today. There's always somebody there, why wait?

Sue

I would call now too. You obviously have a record of the call being made, and they just might want to know that "someone"--a bored kid or guest(?) is amusing themselves.

I would call the funeral home and speak with the owner. There is no excuse for what happened, someone needs to be reprimanded. I'm not sure if I would do it today or not, but I would definitely do so first thing in the morning.

I honestly don't see how the call could have been a 'mistake' (they were trying to get someone else?)--since it came to my unlisted phone # AND the caller had my name. Spooky, really.
Missed that registering with me...you are right...could not have been a misdialed number since they knew your name.

Still a drunk, I'll bet.

If it is on a tape save that tape!!

Being a parent of adolescents, let's not rule out the possibility that this might be kids screwing around. In which case, the parents should know, but if that were the case, I wouldn't end business with them.

I think this post is premature. I'd be talking to them first and find out more facts beforehand.

Just because your number is "unlisted" does not mean nobody has it, nor does it mean nobody has access to it. Having the CID number is helpful but still there's legwork to be done first.

"This was definitely a family member's phone that was used to make the call."
Not necessarily true. The number registered next door is interesting. The phones could all be tied together for the funeral home and whatever is next door. All you know is that the billing address for the phone is next door, but doesn't say that the phone is installed there or used there. Again, some investigation needs to be done before making any judgments or jumping to any more conclusions.

Sorry to hear about your family issues. It'll be interesting to hear an update on this.

You have every right to be upset. I'd have already called the funeral home if it were me.

Caller ID numbers can be spoofed.
Scammers do this to make it look like their call came from somewhere else.

Pooh Bear

I can't see a bored family member making calls to people on the customer list. You said your wallet was stolen-could your number and ID have been in that?

We've spoken to both the police and the owner of the funeral home. The officer is convinced that the common denominator is the hospice agency. Maybe--they're the ones who have: my name, my phone # and my funeral home preference. That would assume they have someone on staff who is an unscrupulous idiot who is also computer/communications saavy to fudge the caller ID thing.

The owner of the funeral home and DH spoke for quite a while today--both are concerned about the situation, of course. The FD was adamant that his relative was at his house Christmas morning, and NO ONE was in the apt. They're an old, established business that we've dealt with for over 30 years--and DH is a very good judge of when someone is telling the truth or lying. I tend to believe he was being truthful. The funeral director is having the locks and phone # of the relative who lives there changed (yes, the funeral home DOES own the apt. where the ID said the call originated).

The only other thing I wonder is--did the person living in the apt ever give or lend a key to someone, someone who knew the place would be empty, who may know us (like one of DH's thieving relatives, who will probably never forgive us for stopping them from cleaning out MIL's accounts). That's extremely conspiracist, I know--but whoever made the call DID have our #, my name, and must have had some reason for cranking us Christmas morning. And to be honest? other than the outlaws, we really do NOT have anyone in our lives who is likely to want to try to annoy us.

Well, not much of an update, but it is what it is. I will, just to cover all my bases, be talking to hospice tomorrow, but I don't expect to find out anything from them--I just can't see someone from there doing that. Have a feeling this will remain a mystery.

I am glad, though, we followed up on this. I feel a LOT better about the funeral home than I did before DH spoke to the gentleman from there.

Surely this wasn't anyone associated w/ the funeral home. That would be hard to believe that anyone would be that crass. Before I reacted I'd try and investigate and see if I could find out who made this call. Then I'd get upset. If it was random, I'd have to chalk that up to ignorance, but I'd sure try and pursue it.

I've had an unlisted # for years and I get anonymous calls--I don't think those #s are too hard to find.

You can't believe that the caller id
showing is really where the call is coming from
anymore.

Here is a link that might be useful: scammers can get fake caller id numbers

It sounds like a simple prank call to me, either from a child or a mentally challenged adult. Just the topic itself is childish.

I know you are going through a lot but I'm kind of surprised that the police even got involved. And the funeral director is changing his locks and phone number? That seems extreme. Why change the phone number; what will that help?

Anyway, there are many people who could have your name and number together (even if unlisted).. you may be listed many places and not even realize it...a church buzzbook, an employee directory, a contest entry form, a volunteer directory... There are tons of places your number could be listed with your name.

Had you had a strong conversation with anyone from the funeral home or hospice that would have wanted to call you a jerk? If it wasn't a typical childish prank call then who would have had that impression? Would your aunt or a visitor have said something that could have presented the wrong impression of you to someone working there?

Sorry you have to go through all this at thsi time. Hope you figure out what is going on.

Carla, if it were just a prank phone call? Of course, I'd have dropped it completely. Yes, the words were childish, BUT the person had my unlisted number, my name, and either called from, or was able to electronically make the call LOOK as if it came from my funeral director.

It's a complicated, bizarre combination of facts, so yes, the police got involved because it's NOT a simple prank, random call. It's quite obviously someone who went to a great deal of trouble to make this frightening call. And we couldn't run the risk that whoever went to this trouble might do something worse in future, so yes, it needed to be reported.

Yes, my number is out there--but not many places. I'm pretty careful about who I give it too and I don't work, don't belong to a church or other organization. My daughter is grown, so it's not floating around a school. The contests I enter aren't local, so unlikely anyone around here would have gotten my number that way.

It's totally understandable that the funeral director would change the locks and phone #. EITHER someone had a key to the relative's apt (which is owned by the funeral home) and her future safety could be at risk, OR someone electronically fudged the caller ID once--and could do so again, to other people, putting her at legal risk of being charged with harrassing phone calls. She's a teacher, she can't afford to have any kind of criminal conviction on her record. How much worse would it be if she were charged and convicted of something she didn't even do?

As far who I may have had a 'strong' conversation with? I hadn't yet spoken to the funeral home about Aunt's burial (was actually planning on calling today, as a matter of fact). The hospice workers are ALL angels, and every time I speak with them, I thank them profusely, and tell them how appreciative we all are of the work they do--there have been no problems or criticisms there. Same with the employees of the assisted living facility where Aunt lives--I appreciate all of them and let them know frequently. There's absolutely no one in my life right now, who might have a beef with me, that I can think of. My husband and I are the kind of people who are always helping someone, who have the honorary position of being the neighborhood 'grandparents', are well thought of by our neighbors and friends.

The ONLY people we've ever had any kind of problem with are DH's family--the ones who were stealing MIL's money, who we had to take to court and stop legally. They are just the sort to do something like this, BUT we've had no contact with them in years, and I can't quite figure that they'd have ALL the info, as well as access to this particular phone. Honestly? I'd love to blame them, but I just can't make all the pieces fit there, either.

It's quite a puzzle, and so much more complicated than the run of the mill prank call.

You obviously know your own personal situation better than I do.

Given the details you provided, I can only offer that it still sounds like a simple Christmas prank to me. One call, not obscene, not threatening...but if you think there's more to it, then you should follow up accordingly.

Keep in mind though that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

Go with the "facts" and keep them as "simple" as possible. Hope you figure it out soon, and it is nothing serious.