The remark you made to your daughter reminds me of my MIL and my DH. He was an only child and dearly loved and enjoyed by his mother who had suffered miscarriages before and after his birth. She didn't spoil him. She disciplined him, argued with him, challenged him with love, pride and encouragement. But, it was when she introduced him to someone that her deep feelings for him showed in her voice and eyes. Her voice would be kind of breathless and her eyes would moisten.
When she died in 2002, I said to my DH, "You'll never be loved like that again."

Leslie/KS

Alisande,

What a nice story. I think I learned more about you with this post. You must be a very kind and forgiving person. I don't know if I could be that nice, really want to be but I sometimes hold grudges.

Judy

My mother was a 27 year old school teacher when she met my 21 year old dad. He was a member of a group of Coast Guard men who had been sent to her town on Lake Superior when a boatload of fishermen drowned. He was very persuasive and they were married a month later. Her family lived there at the time (her father always thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence and they had lived in many states), but she had met none of my father's family. Shortly after they were married they lost all of their wedding presents and her pet canary in a fire at their home while they were away. I never thought to ask the cause, but that was 1927 and in the time of wood fueled stoves.

Her first pregnancy was a tubal pregnancy and she miscarried. Several years later I was born and three years later my brother was born. My father stayed in the Coast Guard until I was 8 or 9. We ended up at a city on Lake Michigan, his last duty station, where he got a job through a boating enthusiast who worked for a large company in the area.

My mother was very creative and sewed our clothes, knit and crocheted, painted in oils and water colors, and loved gardening. In her later years she worked in a greenhouse and arranged flowers and made up corsages. During World War II she worked in the tool shop of a company making tanks. She did no painting or artwork while we were growing up as she said she would get so engrossed she would forget to watch us. She also liked to read, which is the only thing I inherited from her! After we grew up she returned to painting and went to art classes, sold paintings at local outdoor shows and my father proudly made frames for her paintings. They still had many friends in the Lake Superior area and every summer for a number of years took her paintings there to the local art show and would visit students she had taught 30 or 40 years before and their families.

As they grew older, my dad's dark hair turned grey early and her dark curly hair didn't, so he looked older than she did. They both had almost black hair, but my brother had my dad's father's red hair. Mine is dark, but not curly. My dad died in his late 70s but mother, who called herself "the last leaf on the tree" of her family died at age 96. She kept a diary for about 30 years of her life (prior to going into a nursing home) which I have in my possession.

My mom was born to an Irish SAH mother and German sign-painter/merchant marine father in Seattle in 1931.

Mom met dad at the Washington Athletic Club in downtown Seattle. She was a 20 year old aspiring artist working as an elevator operator, he a gentle and charismatic 28 year old undefeated Golden Gloves boxer. They married in 1952 and I was born a year later.

She left dad after five years of marriage because he broke his promise to stop boxing even though he held a job as a Seattle Sheriff. She hated to see him come home all bruised and stitched up.

Mom remarried in 1959 and had my brothers when I was 10 and 13. Her second marriage was to an abusive man but she stuck it out for 12 years (much to my dismay).

She married a third time in 1975 to the father of a good friend of mine. He was an articulate and loving man and he cared deeply for mom. When she was 47 she suffered a catastrophic aneurysm and died six days later. I was 25.

We were quite concerned how her death would affect her DH and as fate would have it, he suffered a heart attack and died two days later.

My friend flew out from PA to attend my mom's funeral only to hear us tell her at the airport that her father had just died. Very tough time for all.

Mom's ashes are in Gig Harbor, WA where my uncle used to live. He christened his boat the Shirley May and took her out into the harbor for her final resting place.

That was 30 years ago and I still miss her terribly. My kids would have loved her.

Jodi-

This isn't about my Mom but, my first wife. (I hope that's okay.) (pre-bigbaby) This story was actually a speech that I gave at a Toastmasters meeting.

My first wife, Mary and I had 5 children in 12 years. (a girl and then 4 boys). We came to the conclusion early on that the only way to survive some situations was to maintain a healthy sense of humor. As long as you can laugh; how bad can it really be? It was 11 years ago that DD reached the age of 15 and got her learners permit. We had been dreading this day for years. Neither one of us wanted to take her driving. We would invent these outlandish exscuses why it should be the other guy to go out on the road with her. It's not that DD had a death wish or a learning disability; it was just the opposite. She's an excellent student, straight A's, a member of the National Honor Society. She has your typical first born, type A, success driven personality. But, that personality has a flaw.... shes smart, she knows she's smart and therefore you can't tell her anything. Driving what's the big deal? One pedal makes you go the other makes you stop and in between you steer; can it be any simpler? just to prove her point a year later; right after her 16th birthday she took her road test and got a nearly perfect score on it. "You see Dad I know all about driving" Right...... By the time she was 20 she had totaled 2 cars! For the last 3 years DD and SIL have lived in Italy (he's in the Air Force). Over there there is impossible traffic, unbelievable speeds on narrow twisting streets and she has a perfect driving record. Apparently she just had to get in the right environment.
But, back to 11 years ago. Just days after DD got her learners permit the stress level in our family was cranked up another notch. Mary started feeling sick. It began with some vague flu-like symptoms. When she didn't improve she went to the Dr. and was eventually diagnosed with ovarian cancer. A particularly aggresive form of cancer. The first step was to remove as much as the cancer as possible. After surgery Mary had a morphine drip that she could control herself for the pain. Push a button; get a dose of morphine. When she'd get up to walk this whole contraption (on an IV pole) would come along. Then it was my job to push the button. I was literally a morphine pusher. Out in the hallway Mary couldn't just ask for a dose though; She'd go HIT Meeeee. Making it sound like she was sitting at the blackjack table in Las Vegas instead of pushing an IV pole down some hospital corridor. Even with cancer Mary was still cracking jokes.
But, Mary lost her battle against cancer. From the time she first started feeling sick until she died was just less than 2 months. Unbelievable. Our family was devastated. Mary had always been a stay at home mom. She was always there. With 5 kids someone always needed a ride someplace. She was always there with a kiss, a hug, and a bandaid for those scraped elbows and knees. And at the end of every day she was there with a delicious home cooked meal.
About 3 weeks after Mary died we were sitting at the dinner table having another bland, dad cooked meal, eating in silence, staring at our plates when DD announces out of the blue "I know why Mom died......she didn't want to take me driving!" We just cracked up. It felt so good to laugh again. I knew we still had a lot of grief to work through, but, with our ability to laugh back in place I knew that we were going to be okay.
I can't remember the saying exactly but the gist of it is "The deeper grief and sorrow carve into your soul the more joy you can hold. What I went through back then I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy, but, it has made me a better, stronger, more confident person.

Ron

My Mom was an only child, her own father died when she was 9. I think that loss shaped her life and her attitude toward her own 4 children. Her mother kept their house and made a little money by taking in boarders. She went to a convent high school, graduated, got a job as a secretary and met Dad at work. They had 4 kids in 6 years. I remember my Mom loved all the homecrafts:knitting, embroidery,sewing,cooking, baking, canning and making jellies. She was a SAH Mom, always visiting school and embarassing me. She raised the four of us to always be cheerful. She told me once her motto is "Everything always works out in the end." She lost her husband in 1998. She was a smoker all her life and it took a toll. She's 85 now, on oxygen so she can't travel. But I can call her on the phone any time I want to tell her about my day and ask what she's making for dinner.

My mom is 84. She's smart and funny and sarcastic and a very loving, supportive mom. She and my dad were married 57 years when he passed away in 2001. They were best friends and it has been so hard on her without him. She stays busy by quilting and reading and talking to me on the telephone. She is the last remaining member of her family of 4 sisters and five brothers. She, too, is the last remaining leaf and she wears that label bravely.

My friends are amazed that she pops open the back screen door and shoots her 22 and kills the squirrels that dare to attack my dad's pecan trees! LOL She said the other day, "You know, there hasn't been as many squirrels this year as there was last year!" When I reminded her of the number she blasted last year - she just laughed! LOL

She has a wonderful sense of humor. Several years ago my DGD caught my mom dressing in her bedroom. My mom said that DGD looked right at her chest, her eyes got big and then she said, "WHOA! Mamaw! You got wots of titties!" My Mother said she looked down at them and said, "No, I just have two. It just looks like I have a lot of them!" LOL

I love her dearly and feel blessed that I can still talk to her everyday.

I love all the stories about your moms and wife (Ron)

My mother raised 5 children 3 boys, 2 girls. She was a stay at home mom most of our growing up years. Eventually she took a job at a local VA hospital and worked there many years. She loved visiting with the patients. She still has her mother who will be 97 in a few days. After my grandpa died three and a half years ago, my mom and her sisters agreed that grandma should not live alone so they all take turns with grandma living at their houses. They play cards daily and dominoes, they have a great time.
I have learned so much from my mom. She has taught me to have compassion for other people, good morals, faith in GOD, love the country that we live in, raise decent respectable kids, and most importantly the love of family. I admire her for taking care of her mother, which in these days and times alot of families cannot do. Grandma is in reasonably good health so this does make it easier. But I cannot give all the credit to my mom, my dad deserves just as much. He is wonderful with grandma.
My mom and I laugh all the time. We can find humor in just about anything. I'm sure some of you out there have the same kind of thing going on.
Wouldn't trade her for anything.

My mother was born July 4, 1904 in Snow Camp, North Carolina. She was illegitimate and that was quite a burden to carry in those days.

When she was 4 years old, she was playing in a ditch in front of her house, and a well to do man drove by in his carriage, and stopped and talked to her mother and asked is she would give my mother to him. Evidently they knew each other, and he knew her circumstances...because she gave my mother away.

I wish I knew more of the details. If it was something thought about or any planning that went into it. I got the impression that she just said "Okay." About like you might give away a puppy or a kitten.

The man was a carpentar and owned a big farm. Well to do and was the first in town to own a "horseless carriage". However, to hear my mother tell it, she was treated badly and not much more than a chore girl.

She married my father, her childhood sweetheart when she was
18. They had 3 children, and then when the youngest was 15,
I was born. By the time I could remember, I was the only one at home...my brothers were in the service and my sister married at 17 and had a couple of children...one 11 mo. older than me, and one 11 mo. younger than me.

My mother was very good to me when I was little. I think I was extremely fortunate because it sounds like she had not so much mothering, herself. But they say the earliest years are the most important, so perhaps her real mother was nurturing.

My mother let me sleep with her when I was little and I remember how good she smelled and how warm she was. She read a book to me every night before I went to bed. She was a room mother at my school and she always made my friends feel welcome.

Although at the time, I never really considered her an animal lover, looking back, she knew much more about animals and nature than almost anyone I knew from her time. She was a stay at home mother, kept a garden and a milk cow, chickens and let me have all the pets I wanted. It was she who promised and insisted that my dad get me a horse for my 11th birthday.

She loved my husband and he was always so good to her. I didn't have a baby until I had been married for 15 years and by then she was 76 but my daughter was practically her life.
She would read to her by the hour.

She was extremely supportive of me in every way. I breast fed my daughter on demand...and for 3 1/2 years...something she also believed in. I also held her constantly if she or my husband wasn't holding her. I never had her say one word about anything that I did...altho other people raised eyebrows and she would always have a retort about that...which I won't repeat. :)

As she got older, she became very difficult. I hate that because she was hard for me to get along with. Her mind got bad and she said mean things about me. Like, she said I would come in and drop off my daughter and a bottle and leave and be gone all day. Totally untrue. My daughter never had a bottle of anything in her life, and I would never have left her. I took her everywhere I went. She was probably remembering something that my sister had done. :))

The older I get, the more I look like her, and I am like her in so many ways. She'd like that. :)) She passed away in
February of '97. She was very healthy, and I don't remember a day when I was growing up that she was sick for more than a day. She was extremely strong, and her doctor told me that she was the healthiest, strongest woman for her age that he had ever seen. I have good health, and I think I owe that to her, as well.

The last words my mother ever said to me were these..."When I was 4 years old, my mother gave me away." Her mind was bad and she didn't know who I was....but that was one thing that had stayed with her forever.

My Mama will be 74 12/31/34...a New Year Eve's baby. She is also the 2nd cousin to Elvis Presley. She always reminds anyone who will listen this fact...LOL Mama is 4'9 and all of 90 pounds. She also has COPD, advance Emphysema and CHF. And I love her beyond words. I am her main caregiver although I have another sister. My Daddy has been gone 6 years come November 18th and we miss him so very much.
Mama is one of 6 children born in Boggy Holler...that is in Baker City which is in Florida. I get such a kick out of saying "Boggy Holler"...LOL
Mama had 4 children, 2 girls and 2 boys. My brothers are gone now and it is just myself and my sister.
Everyone loves Mama since she has such a giving heart. She has taught me to quilt, sew, knit and crochet. In fact, I was 5 years old when she taught me to crochet so I have crocheted for 45 years. Mama is a master quilter...although now her hands are too twisted to quilt anymore. But she cracks her pecans every fall from her 15 pecan trees that I patiently pick up every day for her until they are gone.
Mama is also a top notch cook...her passion these days is cooking and I make sure she has all the ingredients for whatever she wants to make. I of course get to eat what she cooks for us...LOL
I can not imagine Mama not being here. She lives by herself, she will not move in with me. She broke her hip right after Daddy died. It gives her fits and she can not get around very good anymore.
Mama also made all our cloths growing up. I remember a "coat of many colors" she crocheted for me in grade school. It was made with the granny squares and was so pretty. How I wish I still had it...I have no idea what happened to it.
Mama loved her children more than life itself. I had a childhood that no girl friends dreamed of. Not much money but we never went hungry. Lots of love, hugs and kisses.
How I love my Mother...I try so hard to help her everyday...to keep her here with me longer.

Deb

I am truly enjoying all the stories about your Mothers!

Me, too! Every story is moving in its own way, and some of the circumstances these women lived through make me catch my breath. Truth really is stranger than fiction sometimes. And far more powerful.

My mother was born in the early 1900s to a young southern Illinois minister and his wife. She was the eldest of 4 children. Finally, my grandfather went to work for the national church offices, and they moved to Evanston. My mother and her siblings all graduated from Northwestern University. She moved to central Illinois to teach and met my father when they acted in a local radio play.

As it turned out, she was renting a room from another young couple, a dentist and his wife. My father and the dentist had known each other growing up in Chicago. One day in August, 5 couples in their crowd drove all around central Illinois and married. One of the stops was in Toluca where a friend of Dad's married them. They made a mixed marriage work--a preacher's daughter and a Chicago Irish Catholic.

My mother quit teaching when she married Dad and had 4 children. She baked our bread, kept an immaculate house, knitted our sweaters, and encouraged us in our school work. If she got mad about something, she would declare, "He11's bells and butterflies!"

As it turned out, our milkman had been her student in high school and he told us that she had been voted the most beautiful teacher at the school. She was a favorite of the neighborhood as she was so kind, wise, and tactful.

When I was 12, she died of cancer of the liver. How I wish she had lived long enough to meet her grandchildren and even our spouses. Dad lived another 8 years, heartbroken at her death.

She instilled in us in those few short years the standards of character that would serve us well. We all turned out well, though we kind of raised ourselves in our teen years. Two of us became teachers, one became a computer programmer and the only boy became an electrical engineer.

My mom moved from Minnesota to San Francisco with a friend at around the age of 19. She didn't think she'd stay, but she did! She got a job as a teller at Wells Fargo and my dad kept coming to her window. Eventually he asked her out. He was 6 years older than her and loved being a bachelor, but somehow she got to his heart. I loved the home my mom created for us as a child. It was very laid back, very relaxed, and the only place I wanted to be! I loved coming home each and every school day. When we moved away in 1993, it was so hard. I missed my family dearly. In 1999, everyone moved to be closer to us. I have cherished every day since then. My mom is now in her 70s and going strong. She joined Welcome Wagon as soon as they moved here and continues to be active with many of their groups. She found a new quilting group and goes to Sisters, Oregon at least once a year for a retreat. She keeps busy!

Sheryl

WOW - what a wonderful thread! I could write forever about Mom, but I'll give you the wonderful highlights:

Mom was 72/73 when she lost her fight with cancer after 30 years. She was tough - well, strong is a better word, because I don't think she had a tough bone/thought in her. She just taught my sister and me, how to survive the valleys with a smile. She knew that part well, when she became a single parent when I was twelve. That just didn't happen in our community, so it was devastating.

Mom was raised in a prominently wealthy family of a different race. This in itself was phenomenal, and really shaped her adult life. She had one older sister, with five brothers in between. Granny worked and wasn't fond of having Mom home alone a lot with so many men around - my uncles and their friends were so much older. A family friend worked for a family that was willing to let Mom stay in their home while the friend was able to take care of her. Although the family was so supportive and treated her as a daughter, Mom didn't like not being able to even make her own bed!! All-in-all though, she was able to attend the best schools and learned about having the best of everything - which she always tried to pass on to us.

Mom was a career nurse - in college health nursing, and was elected President twice, of her professional association. She was so dedicated to her profession that she founded the local chapter of the association (I helped with that though I never wanted to be a nurse). Later, Mom enhanced her career and became a Nurse Practitioner. We went through that - FUNNY, FUNNY, and FUN. She even pledged her professional sorority much like in college. She was in her mid to late 50s!!! It was so hard - putting an entire med school education in a year or two (can't remember which)!!!!

Mom also ran for the first ever school board of our city. She would have won, but dropped out because she didn't want to leave my sister and me alone so much while she was at meetings, etc. This is a testament to her support and selflessness!

I mentioned my uncles - Mom's brothers. I'll always remember her saying, "My brothers". She loved them, and so do I. I lived with one when I was very young while my Dad was in the military. They were a special bunch of guys. Each became prize fighters (boxing) and did very well - one fought Sugar Ray Robinson and lost by one point in a TKO!! One by one, they all have been inducted into the boxing hall of fame. Mom was so proud of that, and also all that they did for everyone they met. Mom was like that too. I can't tell you how many students she helped get through college - the ones that were nervous about being away from home; the ones that partied too much and were flunking out (she had so much clout at the school that she was able to talk administrators into letting them continue their studies). In those days, if you flunked out, you couldn't attend another college. She also set up a program with the school so that the Detal students could stay in our home (it was big enough for small apts upstairs).

Mom fought her cancer as hard as she could. If this had happened to her today, I think she probably could have beat it. But, they say, the good die young. Mom wasn't that young, and I would say that she was great. I do wish she were here though - to talk to, and share the many milestones I've hit on my own. I really think she would be so surprised at what I've done. I'm not though - she prepared me for it all. I just wish I could share it with her and sometimes, wish I could ask her what to do next. hmmm...

Anyway, sorry for the long post. I've often said I would write a book about Mom, and our family - not that we are all that, but there are some great moments. Maybe this will help me get started.

Thanks for letting me share!!

A toast to Moms everywhere!!

gneegirl