Carol, My dad was born in Montague County, Texas, in 1919 (just across the border from western Love County and Jefferson County) and he was old enough when the Dust Bowl years hit to remember them somewhat, but he wouldn't talk about them much. Both his parents died in the early to mid-1930s and the kids stayed together (an uncle on the farm next door had legal guardianship and bought them each a new pair of shoes every year) and virtually raised themselves. There were 13 of them. I remember they said the sand filled up their storm cellar and they couldn't use it until they'd cleaned it out. It also ruint their crops and they had very little to eat during those years, mostly pinto beans and corn. For my dad's family, poverty was a constant until World War II came along and, one by one, they left the farm to enter the military or to work in defense plants like Consolidated Vultee (later General Dynamics and now Lockheed-Martin). None of them ever went back to the country really, except the oldest aunt had a few acres in Haltom City in the 1950s-1970s and raised a huge garden every year. They wouldn't talk about those Dust Bowl years much except to talk about how the people suffered, and you had to ask them to get them to talk about those days at all. I think they just put the 'bad times' behind them and kept on going. All of them were fruit and vegetable gardeners and all of them loved rural north central Texas and southern OK along the Red River despite their difficult lives there when they were younger. My dad felt like the Dust Bowl 'ruined' their chances to be farmers because it made them feel like they'd never get ahead and stay there. Imp, I felt the same way about 'The Worst Bad Time"---it was so sad and so depressing and just so hard to read and hard to 'digest' both intellectually and emotionally because of the depth of the suffering and damage. Until then, I really didn't understand the people's suffering. I understood the financial ruin it brought to so many families, and I understood the great migration of the "Okies" to California and elsewhere looking for a better life (two of my uncles went to Cali and never came back) but I didn't understand the death and the illnesses and, as you mentioned, chronic lung conditions that folks had for many years which probably did originate with their inhalation of all that dust back then. I thought it was irresponsible farming techniques too, and in a way it was, but the farmers themselves were encouraged by the government to use those methods. Listening to the old timers talk about it decades later, I got the impression many of them felt betrayed by the goverment. After all, they did what the government wanted them to do and they did it the way the government told them to do it, and look what happened! Hindsight is always 20-20, isn't it? One of the oldtimers here, who was 87 years old, I think, when we moved here in 1999, stood on our property with its towering trees and told me that when his family came to Oklahoma by covered wagon in the earliest 1900s, there were no trees except along the Red River. I asked him where the trees had gone, and he said everyone cut them for building material, fence posts, and firewood until none were left. He remembers traveling to the Red River in a farm wagon to spend a day cutting young trees (there weren't any old ones left) for firewood. He also talked about how the land eroded later because, of course, there were no tree roots left to hold the soil and because everything was plowed and bare. He remembered erosion beting a huge problem until at least the 1950s. Jay, My dad never lost his great affection for wild foods you could forage, and always loved finding 'poke sallet', dandelion greens, purslane, and stuff like that in the spring. His favorite was lambs quarters. He said without them, they would have starved. When I was a teenager and he would tell me that, I'd think to myself that I'd rather starve than eat purslane and lambs quarters! Now, when our lambsquarters pop up in the spring, I always think how thrilled my dad would be to see them. They also made lots of prickly pear jelly if they could barter to get the sugar (usually they used sorghum syrup or molasses) to sweet the jelly. Apparently the prickley pear did just fine in those years. Your story about the bathtubs reminded me of my dad telling me those stories too. Apparently in his family, rank had its privilege and age gave you rank. He was the third youngest and the second youngest to survive to adult hood, and he was at the end of the line when it came to baths. He said he was in the Navy and in his late teens before he knew what it was like to bathe with 'new' water that hadn't already been used by everyone else. We always got an orange in our Christmas stockings because that orange reminded my dad of his childhood Christmases when the orange in their stocking was their one and only present and they loved those oranges and ate them slowly because they were a once-a-year treat. The town where my dad grew up is pretty much a ghost town now, but we go back to the cemetary once every few years. If the ghosts could talk, what stories they could tell us now. Dawn

I wouldn't go. If she doesn't want you there on her special day, don't give her a reason to resent you for ruining it (in her own mind anyway) It would just give her something else to whine about. You're SDs sound like they have a lot of growing up to do. Why spend a whole day being uncomfortable? Let your DH and younger SD go and enjoy the wedding without distraction. Plan a day for yourself,and enjoy it. As for younger SD moving out, yeah,let's see how the older one and her husband will welcome another adult into their home after they are just married and starting a life together. Frankly, I admire the fact you have even tried this long to connect with them. If it were me, I would be counting the days til that 18th birthday, and celebrate it by helping the little shrew pack her crap into the back of a moving van and changing the locks....but that's just me. Both of them are old enough now to know that you are not trying to be a substitute for their mother,and they should certainly realize how you make their father happy. What did they want? Their father to wallow away in miserable solitude,lighting a candle for their mothers memory every night until his death? They sound childish and selfish. I suspect that when they are older and hopefully wiser,perhaps with children of their own, they will come around and apologize for their terrible treatment of you. But I digress. To sum it up, don't go. SD doesn't want you there, and it's her day. Don't take it personally,as she sounds like a petulant brat who would treat anyone who had married her father the same way. You will not enjoy it. SD would not enjoy it. DH wants you there as his wife,good for him, but it may be a relief to him if you decided on your own not to go. He would have to deal with his daughters tantrums. Go to the spa. Go shopping. Take advantage of an empty house and eat bon bons on the couch in your underwear. Anything. We have to few days on this earth to spend any one of them doing something unpleasant if we can avoid it. You not only can avoid it, but have been given a free pass to do so. Take it.

Sunday can work fine. Jewish weddings are often on Sundays (because you don't have a Jewish wedding on Friday night or until about an hour after sundown on Saturday), so especially in the summer. Sundays of Monday holiday three-day weekends are very popular; both my children's weddings were on Labor Day weekend and mine was on July 4 (a Sunday that year). If it's not a Monday holiday weekend, then you can have an earlier start time. People often have to take a day off work anyway for a wedding weekend. I doubt it will affect too many of their guests, at least not too severely. But if Saturday is the only day that will work, I think there just has to be a venue that will accommodate them. I'm surprised that so many places have a minimum that is so much greater than 75. What about a restaurant, museum, or park pavillion? A hotel that isn't one of the fanciest in town? What are your requirements (dance floor? catering? etc.).

Figured I should update. I did order the dress in 2 sizes. It was actually very nice quality, lined, and nice fabric. However the smaller size was really small and the one that fit, had too much flare with the fit and flare. There was a deliberate part of the lining that seemed to give extra flare at the tush and hips, and I really do not need anything additional. Had it fit nicely it would have been totally appropriate. (it was actually super hot that day so sleeveless was no issue). I went back and forth and actually wore black pants with a dressy top (solid bright color, sleeveless , with almost sequins but not (it's sparkly but subtle). and a black shawl as I am usually cold but I ended up not really needing it. I was very comfortable as I was dressed appropriately, but I was surprrised that many people were wearing cocktail attire, and quite a lot of black. all the men wore jackets and ties (lol except 2. one was my dh per my faulty instructions)..