Sherry, The barn is in Watervliet Michigan. A couple from Chicago bought two old barns and renovated them into wedding barns. They have one called the "Blue Dress Barn" but I don't know the name of this one. You can see them on the internet. Millcreek Barns is the name so I think it's probably millcreekbarns.com if anyone wants to take a peek. In an earlier post I said that their Boston Terrier was in the wedding. Our oldest grand daughter walked her down the isle. She had an orange flower on her collar. I didn't get a picture nor did the photographer. She couldn't get it focused because Tenna was jumping around so much after she saw my son at the end of the isle. LOL I hope someone got a picture and if so I will post. She is their baby, at least until they have babies!!

I am sorry to hear about your problems. You mention invitations and a shower, but do they yet have a location, food, photographer, dress - all the important things? And who is paying for those things? It sounds as if the couple needs to sit down and create a master plan for the wedding, including what they must have (location, officiant, etc.) and get their priorities in order. At that time they can determine how they will pay for things. Your son should definitely be involved in the planning. It is his wedding and he should be included. I am a wedding planner and I see bride, groom, both moms, and often the father of the bride all involved in planning and attending meetings with vendors. You are right about not having time if they want to have a well organized wedding without being totally stressed out. I have planned weddings in 6 weeks but that puts a lot of stress on the bride and they often have to settle for merchants that are not booked, which may mean they are not the best merchants. Right now I have weddings occuring in September that are fully planned. You may need to step back and let the couple "sink or swim" until they decide how to proceed, which may include having a talk with her family, but you shouldn't be the one to do that. The bride needs to be the one to speak up.

She's getting an awesome deal on the photographer, but sometimes you do get what you pay for. I know a few that would charge $4500 for wedding photography. It's an all day job (follow the bridal party all day, pre wedding, wedding, reception) then go home and process the pictures--it's a lot of work. I see no problem with family making meals for weddings. My husbands family does it quite often. My favourite wedding meal was pulled pork and oven roasted potatoes with home made dinner rolls. Saved the bride and groom a bundle of money. When I got married, we used a JP and got married at my mother in laws back yard. Only the bridal party and immediate family had dinner in a restaurant, and everyone met back at the house for a fire pit party. We got married for under $1000 (including the JP, our clothes for the day which included our kids and my wedding dress, and dinner out) and 24 years later, we're still married. I don't expect wedding favours (who does that anymore?). How much one spends on their wedding is up to them. I specifically asked for no gifts when we got married as I had been away from home for 13 years at that point and didn't need or want anything. People feel they have to give a gift anyway. I'm not a fan of e-vites. If you have a computer, print your own invites and RSVP note cards (there's a million templates online) and mail them out. I used my typewriter to do that 25 years ago. LOL It took FOREVER! All in all, it's her wedding. She can do as she likes. In the end it doesn't have to affect anyone else. Also, I can't remember ever going to a wedding where the guests didn't pay for their booze. Other than a bottle of wine on the table to toast the bride and groom, we've always paid for our drinks. ETA: also, the wedding is all about the bride and groom, and not what's in it for the guest. Just because you spend $ on a gift, doesn't mean they have to give you a gourmet dinner and a 'favour'. In my day, we went to weddings to be witnesses to a joyful event. We danced. We had fun. And we gave gifts. We didn't expect anything in return. This post was edited by debby_ab on Fri, Nov 7, 14 at 8:19

I’m so glad you found peace Southern Summer ! I know it’s not the way we all visualized our blended families to be, but we had no choice but to separate & RE-gain our marriage back. I know that feeling & I am so glad your husband realized what was happening & found his way back to your marriage as priority & backed you, his wife, his future. I’m so glad to have connected with other SM’s who get it. Have a great day & keep smiling, there is a great life out here for all of us !