As I write this, snow is falling outside my window and I consider the outdoor activities of the season  shoveling (a rather distant relation to my beloved digging, at least it gets me outside) and xcountry skiing -- as mere placeholders til gardening season starts. I dip into NE Gardening on GW about every other day in the cold months. I constantly admire the cheerleaders of posting for trying to get us slugs to respond. I do read blogs, mostly garden blogs, but a few every day, and I have been doing this for years. I have favorites, and I try dipping into links to these. Some become keepers, others one would never want to visit again. A blog is an experience of one individual  when you read blogs consistently, you get to know the person (gardener) and his/her garden and style. Photos are also an integral part of blogs. I have given some thought to why I read the blogs I do, and it really comes down to how good the writing is, and mostly because I share some of the same sensibilities as the blogger. Also reading blogs allows you to follow the continuity of something. One thing that I have noticed is that all the blogs I read are in cold climates more like our own -- there is a big garden blogging community in TX, but I havenÂt been tempted to follow anyone there, or in California either. But on GW, one feels like a contributor, not an audience. And itÂs fun to see how all of us different people respond to the same topic. Sharing and gathering Info, yes, but giving commentary and experience too. Sometimes I just want to know what others more or less around here have to say about a particular thing. We are a community too IÂm not on FB (and never will be) nor on Twitter  I personally think this is more of a generational thing. At Xmas also, I saw my 20-something daughter discreetly check her Blackberry periodically. I read the New York Times every day but in my department at work it is only us fifty-somethings who actually read the paper version. My assistant, like my daughter, both read it online. I think the internet is so big that there is room for discussion forums and social networking and blogs and research sources of all kinds. And then there is browsing for shopping. I adore going thru my catalogs, but I have found unique websites of very specialized nurseries whose catalogs I would never have received in the mail  actually they probably donÂt mail catalogs out. And now all we have to do is wait til awful winter is over, and the ground calls to us.

Okay, long post. First, Im sending a great big hug to you. Second I definitely agree that for the safety and sanity of your family get him out of your life. You donÂt need his drama and neither do your little ones. They may not realize what is going on but they know when somethingÂs wrong. I think it would be a good idea to have Rhiannon talk to someone. ItÂs better to have someone impartial for her to talk to. My sister has been getting counseling for her and my 5 year-old niece after her relationship ended. Her husband was an alcoholic abuser; he wasnÂt abusive when he wasnÂt drinking and his abuse was mostly psychological, but she found out through the counseling that my niece was more aware of what was going than she thought. She was also very matter of fact when she would talk to the counselorÂjust "this is what happens whenÂ". My storyÂwhen I was 13 my uncle tried to rape me while I was staying at my grandmotherÂs. I didnÂt tell anyone and tried to block it from my mind. All I could do was make sure he was never around my younger sisters. I closed myself off from everyone and pretended everything was "normal", but was terrified of any close relationship. Luckily he didnÂt come around much for family get-togethers and if he did I stayed where my grandma or my mother were. Years went by and one day out of the blue, my grandma asked if something had happened with him. All I could do was nod and start crying. I had thought for all those years that everyone would be mad at me and I would be shunned. Instead she hugged me close and told me "heÂs my son and I love him, but I could kill him", which made me feel so much better. She was my most favorite person in the world. I wasnÂt alone with this anymore. I could breathe again. I got married, had two kids, got divorced, and life went on. I had told my husband before we got married, but still didnÂt talk about it unless I had to. I have two wonderful friends who helped me get through my divorce who I had told about what had happened. When my oldest was in middle school, one of her close friends told her she was being molested and my daughter told her stepmother who then reported it. My daughter was asked to give a statement about what she had been told and I decided that as much as I hated talking about what had happened to me, this was more important. I had my friends with me but still couldnÂt talk about it without getting teary. 20+ years after it happened, my sister made a reference to him and I admitted it to my mother. Every time I talked about it, no matter how hard it was, it felt a little better inside. I still have trust issues and probably always will, but thatÂs getting better too and I was able to write this without tears. It also helps me that he eventually died of stomach cancerÂkarma to my mind, but I digress. Your heart and gut say stay away from himÂstart with that. Cozy quiet holidays at home sound like perfect memories for little ones to me. Jen

There's a time and place for all of them. I really like email. Any time I can take business away from the post office I'm thrilled. Instant messaging is very handy for chatting with people you don't see too often who happen to be online when you are but it's also a good way to leave a quick message. Texting is a little quicker in some respects since the person usually has the phone on them. I really think it's rude when you're with someone talking, dining or whatever and in comes the signal and they drop everything to look at the text message. Then they usually have to give a quick text back. Then there's usually at least one or two more repeats. It's like the ones who constantly answer the cell for unimportant calls. I've started getting up and walking off and say obviously they're/that's more important than what we're doing so finish that up and let me know. I really find it hard to justify all these kids of all ages having expensive cell phones so they can be notified of terrorists! Isn't that going a bit overboard? No wonder the kids aren't learning! I have a prepaid cell and will not give out the number to too many since I know I'd be bombarded with spam. Cute little quotes, 150 "hi!" messages and other worthless garbage. I give out a forwarding number so they can't text me when I want them to be able to call me. I use Yahoo Instant Messenger to text people. It's great. I have the keyboard, a decent size monitor and it doesn't cost anything. There's 154 character limit to a text so sometimes you need to abbreviate. There's nothing wrong with that in my bood. I do get annoyed with some of the more obscure phrases and it bugs the daylights out of me when people have to use instant messenger abbreviations on forums. There was one guy in another forum who insisted on all abbreviations. "u ppl sh And I don't have picture messaging and don't want it. Email me the pictures if you want to send them or transfer them by instant messenger. There's definitely purposes for it, I agree. I think it's good for history to have the hanging of Saddam Hussein recorded, even as poorly as it was and I find it no more offensive than the Zapruder film. The pictures of Whacko Jacko on the stretcher, and even the shots of David Carradine to show that what was being said wasn't true, are some valid uses. But there's abuse too. The more technology, the more chance for abuse. I do find it hilarious when people can't make a phone call when the power goes out because they have only cordless phones or rely on cell service and are in a dead spot. But then again I laughed so hard I nearly drove off the road when I saw a tow truck on the side of the road with its hood up! I thought about stopping and offering to help for about $250. But that wouldn't be nice, would it?

They changed it recently so that if you just hit enter (return), it submits your comment. (So if you want to make a new paragraph instead of submitting, I think you have to hit shift+enter.)