Sunshineboy, that is an adorable picture! 4 adult cats napping so close together like that is quite the sight. WG, that is very exciting. I don't have much advice to add, and I hope your cats adjust well to their new home (once they get there). Three outdoor males - those voles aren't going to stand a chance! :) I am a cat lover and owner for 20-odd years, and have 2 spayed, vaccinated females, both rescued as kittens. One is strictly indoors, the other has limited outdoor privileges. SHe usually goes outside for a few hours a day in nice weather, but is a "fair-weather" cat so she rarely goes out in the winter. She is a good huntress and eats most of what she catches, so I worm her every fall when her hunting activities wind down. Not sure if I should be doing it more frequently?? Somewhere I read that male cats wander in much larger territories than female cats, which tend to stay closer to home. This would hold true in my experience. My little female rarely wanders beyond the boundaries of the property, but I had a male for 19 years who was obsessed with prowling the neighborhood, even on the coldest winter nights (and managed to beat the odds and live a long life despite his outdoor activities). I must confess I worried SICK about that cat for over 18 years, but he died of old age on the kitchen floor. Cars and dogs/coyotes are amongst their greatest outdoor hazards. Hopefully your cats will have some street smarts! Are your new cats going to live in the barn? They will probably need an adjustment period in the barn to get used to their new home. How will they get in and out of the barn? My sister has 3 large Coon brothers who are indoor/outdoor and she has a cat door in her garage and they go in and out of the house at their choosing.

When they were teens (17 and 18) we bought one daughter a puppy and got the other a kitten. We still have two pets, tho the younger daughter has moved into her own apartment. That dog misses her so-she waits at the top of the stairs near her bedroom door, hoping DD will come home. She never does. When she does stop by (a couple times a week) the dog goes bananas with joy, jumping and running all around. Even tho I am the one who always feeds her, lets her in and out, brushes her, and allow her to come up on my bed antime she wants. Go figure!

I would 'drop it' now...let it go. Yeah, SS only now has 1/2 the money to replace the game, but so what? It's no different than anything else involving his BM. He can either look for something that cost 1/2 as much as original gift, Dad can chip in the other half, or he can save up til he has enough for a desired replacement. Too bad for SS...it should not be this way... but you can't choke a replacement gift or money out of BM. Yes, I know, 'she said ______', but this happens each and every time and then she does not do what she said she would. I also would not mention to the kids anything about what BM said about SD/SS's birthdays or presents. It may not (as usual) ever happen. Don't set the kids up for more disappointment/resentment. No more trips to BM's to pick up/drop off either. If she is serious about this or that, let her come to you. If she does not show...oh well. I understand you were trying to be nice and it is you that followed through on the planned arrangements. I get all that. But it is her that is undependable (maybe due to the abuser she lives with) and who isn't going to follow through. She's proved it time and time again. I'm sorry SS did not like his gift. I'm sorry he's only getting half the money...maybe she'll come through, maybe she won't. But next time leave the whole thing up to her. You keep expected her to change from event to event. You and SS don't deserve all the crap that goes along with trying to make it different. She's going to be who she is until she finds the strenght to change things for herself. You can't fix this for her.

I feel the same way about my husband's exwife. I am custodial stepmom of 3 chlldren. My husband has always had custody because the exwife decided one day she no longer wanted to be married or a full-time mother. Before I came along she constantly dumped 99% of her time on my husband, he of course never said no, she had full control of her old household only she lived in a differnt place and had her own life. It was a very unhealthy situation. My husband just never stood up to her, he struggled to keep a full-time job and take care of 3 children. I give him tremendous credit because many men in his situation would not be able to take on that responsibilty. Well, then I come along, we get married and all of a sudden she begins to take a deeper interest. Mainly because I would not allow her to control my household and my husband began saying "no", She always used us as her babysitter, whether it was a work meeting, an exerecise class or a European vacation. She has been nothing but a major PIA, she wouldn't pay child support when my husband enforced the order she opened a full blown custody case, suing us for full custody because she did not want to financially support her children. We also have a screwed up schedule. During the school the chldren visit their mother Mon&Tues 4-8pm with alternating weekends. During the summer they visit her Mon-Wed 4-8pm with alternating weekends. The exwife wanted some crazy, they live with her 3days one week, then us 4days, and the next week it was the reverse. Mind you, she only had a 2bedroom condo. All three children sleep in the same bedroom. 2 girls 13&10 and a 8yr old boy. The master had enough sense to reconize that the living arrangemnents were not appropriate and would not grant anymore overnight visits except for the already standing 2 weekends a month. The schedule is crazy. The exwife is crazy. She teaches the children it is ok to lie to us. She is NOT supportative of myself or my husband. She has harrassed us to the point that she is not allowed on our property, she can not contact us by phone, she may only communicate via email, unless it is an emergency related to that day's schedule, then she may leave a message on our cell phone. She would call my husband at work and pull him out of meetings with the CEO of the company for some nonsense question. HE would get numerous calls on a daily basis. I never saw 2 divorced people talk on a daily basis. We have insulated ourselves as much as possible but everyday there is some new issue. She never returns clothes that the kids wear over there, one day she sent my ss home with no shoes on. She won't take the kids to baseball games and then tells them we did not give her the information. I could go on and on. But your words say it best I HATE HER!!!!! If I had hindsight my posting would be alot differnt. I would be like that one woman who used to be involved with a man with children. Trying being involved with a man who has custody of his children. The rewards have been few and far between. I have lived this from the first day I moved to where my husband lives (I moved from a different state). So the entire two years of my marriage have been filled with this crap. My husband's relationship with his children has also suffered terribly. I was divorced for 11yrs before I remarried and never experienced one ounce of the trouble I have in this life, and it isn't even my divorce. The best advice I can give you is stand your ground. Say NO, she is responsible for her custodial time. It took my husband a long time to be able to say no, it is very easy for me. I know that he is still uncomfortable with saying no but I help him, Remember you can't let her control your life. Good luck, God Bless. I understand, it's one hell of a way to live.