I'm voting with you on that one.

I'm just happy that someone bothers to hold the door open for me. ;-)

Jannie, I'm sure with you on that one. It just shows that proper manners are getting to be a thing of the past, IMHO.

More on that...lol

Sue

I agree with you on the "no problem" response. What happened to You're welcome???

I think it's a generational thing. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. If someone is kind enough to hold a door open or do something else that I need to say thank you for, I do not expect that person to say a thing. I just think it was nice they did it in the first place. JMO

I see nothing wrong with it either. But like all pet peeves, it's all about the reaction of the individual.

No problem.

I say it myself often. I was nice enough to open the door for you, let you cut in line or reached for that can of beans on the top shelf that you couldn't get. I am sorry if I offend anyone with a casual "No problem". I always thought "You're welcome" sounded old fashioned... but I do say that too.

I agree, Jannie. My boss and I have had many discussions about this, we had a customer come in and he was thanking my boss all over the place and boss kept saying "it was no problem" and customer kept thanking him and thanking him until finally I snapped and said "tell him 'you're welcome' and he'll stop" and so he did and then the customer did. All he wanted was for his honest gratitude to be acknowledged, not to be brushed off as if what he had received was nothing important, because it was important to HIM.

Now we say "you're welcome" all the time, sometimes we even say "thank you and you're welcome" in the same breath because we're having fun with it.

I too prefer You're welcome but hey as said I will take anything these days....I was so proud of Tanner one day hee had to run into the dentists office one day and I just parked and pulled up...well a very eldery lady came out...he held the door for her...then went and opened her door on the car for her...I think he might have given her a heartattack....not really but it shocked me....I have tried to instill manners in all my kids but to see a 14 year old do this...I was proud....Stacy

Oh Stacy, how Sweet. I'd be proud too!

Gayle

and customer kept thanking him and thanking him until finally I snapped and said "tell him 'you're welcome' and he'll stop" and so he did and then the customer did.
That's so funny that you 'knew' what it was going to take to satisfy him.

I take it you are a you're welcome person while the boss is a no problem person...except when a customer is insisting upon a You're welcome....lol

I'm guilty...I say "No Problem" more then "You're Welcome"...I'll work on it...I'm thrilled these days when I get a "Thank You" for doing something for someone!

Lots of time when I say thank you, I get a "hmm...hmm". I hear that so often that I find myself doing it too. Wash my mouth!

I think it depends more on the situation. I find myself often saying "my pleasure" or "glad to help, when it is, and of course depending on the situation, you're welcome when I feel it's more formal and appropriate and I'll admit an occasional "sure thing" or "sure" or the like when it's an insincere thank you from a cashier or something. When someone is in fear of me going too far out of the way I might say "it's no trouble" or "no problem", depending on the situation.

I know we've been over this issue before. So now I notice what people say. I feel like I say what I think the other person is expecting to hear. It depends on how well I know the person and what I've been thanked for.

But I've been wanting to tell you all about a young man who works at our local McD's. He is often at the drive-thru when I go. If I say "Thank you" into the speaker and get a "You're welcome" I know it's him, I don't even know his name. He must be all of 17 or 18, high school student. No matter how many times I say "thank you" he says "You're welcome," even if he has to turn the speaker back on to say it.

So it will go something like this:

Welcome to McD's... take your order.
(My order)
Will that complete your order.
Yes, thank you. (That's me testing to see if it's him.)
You're welcome.

At the window, he'll hand me my change, I automatically say "thank you" and he says "You're welcome."
He hands me my food and says the standard "Thank you. Have a nice day and come back."
I say "Thank you, you too."
He says "You're welcome" again.
I might need to ask for something else after I check the bag, bbq sauce, whatever. He hands it to me, I say "thank you," he says "You're welcome."

OK, I admit, just for grins, I've messed with him, made up reasons to say thank you, without fail he says "you're welcome." Never an alternate, "no problem" or "sure thing." This is too cute to me! I want to call his mother and let her know how well instilled his manners are! LOL! This is a 2 minute transaction, and he's just a teenager working a fast food drive thru, but he'll get that "you're welcome" in without fail every single time, I cannot trip him up! ;o) I'm sure he has grouchy people, difficult managers, homework, lots of working hours... and still, that polite "You're welcome." I'd like to tell him that I know some ladies on-line who would shake his hand! ;o)

I think this young man will go far in life b/c he obviously has a good, solid foundation of respect and work ethic.

I should go through the drive thru and video this transaction, then send it to McD's to commend this employee. It should be on You Tube, spread around cyperspace. It's just completely charming!

I remember once about 30 years ago I was going to see a movie (alone), a man held the door for me. I smiled and said nothing. He then scolded me and told me how rude I was for not saying "thank you". Well, that just cancelled out his good deed. I have said thank you ever since.

To Chemocurl: I've noticed that in many of your responses you have used itallics. How is that done, with HTML?

I always say thank you no matter what. How else are young people going to learn how to be polite?

I've always held doors open for people following me into a store or restaurant. People always seemed amazed when I do that.

Ooooh, a public scolding is SO rude, Jannie. You should have made like you were a mute and did some sign language at him! lol Jerk. I think a sweet smile CAN be a thank you between strangers.

I had that happen to me once at a drug store. I was so sick, had been waiting in pharmacy for nearly an hour, had a fever, etc and all I wanted was to get home and crawl into bed. An older woman was standing in front of the exit door and she was talking to a clerk, blocking the exit but holding onto the door. I just stood behind her, I didn't even have the energy to say excuse me and go past her, let alone reach out with one hand and push the door open for her, that store had heavy doors. She finally opened the door and was going out and I went out with her and said "thank you" in a weak little voice and she chewed me out for not holding the door for HER. Ooooh, that made me so mad, but I just said "you were in the way, I couldn't reach over you" and kept on going. I didn't have the energy to argue with her.

Chemocurl- I could just tell. The man really, really was appreciative of what my boss had done for him (for free) and he just needed to know that boss knew it meant it a lot to him. I'm whipping the boss into shape! He's a very giving man and he's embarrassed by praise, but "thank you" isn't praise and "you're welcome" isn't boasting. "No problem", to me, indicates that what you did for someone is unworthy of mention to you, but that seems to belittle it on the other side. (And let's face it, if people didn't say "thank you", we'd be griping about that!)

To Chemocurl: I've noticed that in many of your responses you have used itallics. How is that done, with HTML?
Yes, it is the very first HTML I learned.

HTML Basics 101

How do I use HTML Code to change fonts and insert stuff in posts?

HTML-Bold-italics-color and size ...a fun learning thread at the Test Forum, Gallery side.

Stop on by. There's always someone there to help pretty quickly. If I can do it, anyone can. Heck...we will soon have to inserting clickable links like those above.

Flamingo,
Good to hear you are whipping that boss into shape. Might he be of a bit younger generation? I think too that if one tends to hang with others who say no problem that it is just often picked up, and you're welcome is soon forgotten....as in parents maybe picking it up from their teens or young adults.
I have to wonder if there are actually parents out there who are teaching their little children to say please, thank you, and no problem.

Sue

My verbal pet peeve is people who (In my opinion).. ignorantly say AKS for ASK. That is just lazy speaking. Dottie

I have noticed the "no problem" response just this past year or so, most often from young people. I'm trying not to let it bother me.

Sue, he's actually older, 65, but a cool 65. We have a lot of fun at work, lots of laughs and he likes when I give him grief. Good thing, huh? lol

I dislike AKS, or as I think of it, AX, too.

From the time my DS was very little, I always got compliments on how polite he was. I still do now that he is 22 and knows just about everyone in the area due to his work at the local hardware store the last nearly 8 years. Makes his mama proud.

I'm a "no problem" person myself...

DH has always been very polite but sometimes outspoken. He once he held the door for a very slow moving woman who didn't even acknowledge it. In a very loud voice he said, "You're very welcome MAM!" She turned around, said not a word- but looked at him like he was crazy!
Suzi

Suzi, are you aware that your DH is a BIGAMIST!? I think he's married to me, too! LOL (My DH does exactly the same thing. He holds the door and then gripes to me when they don't say thank you.) He usually makes some little snide remark like, "oh, no, no, no, it's quite alright.." LOL

Can someone please tell me the origins of "You're welcome" and how long it's been a part of the English language? If you disect that phrase, what does it mean? I know it's a silly question, but it has bothered me since I was a kid.

Thanks.

I am in my fifties, and grew up with "you're welcome" being the norm. However, I don't really understand why some people interpret "no problem" to be a brush off, as if that response indicates the person is not appreciating your thanks. I believe both phrases are just a shorter way of saying that the person was happy to oblige.

I tend to use "you're welcome" when an 'expected' transaction has just taken place, such as making a purchase. If a cashier says "thank you" they are really saying "thank you for giving me the money." I respond "you're welcome" meaning "you are welcome to have my money." Saying "no problem", which would be short for "it was no problem for me to give you the money" wouldn't be as appropriate to me. Of course it wouldn't be a problem, because I knew ahead of time that money would be required, so it was MANDATORY that I give them the money, lol.

But in the case of an 'unexpected' transaction, such as pausing to hold a door open for someone, I find "no problem" is quite appropriate. In that instance, saying "no problem" simply means "it was no problem for me to hold the door for you." Anyway, I'm just grateful for any kind of acknowledgement, because it was no doubt given with good intentions.

I think we older people hate to see the sliding of good manners. I always say thank you and your welcome. I took three granddaughters out to dinner last Sunday and the two sisters (15 and 21) both told me thank you. Their 27 y.o. cousin did not. The two sisters grew up with me in their life regularly.

How many men do you see removing their caps in restaurants any more? I guess they are all bald and don't want to show their heads. LOL

This is interesting. Many years ago, I dated a man who had immigrated from Russia. When he would hold the door open for me, he got visibly miffed when I said "Thank you".

When I asked, he told me in his country, it was expected that a man would hold a door open for a woman. Thanks were not only unnecessary, but bordered on an insult (as if the woman thought the man was too stupid to know basic manners).

We didn't last long, LOL. I seem to like the rude American guys better.

Stephanie!
"OK, I admit, just for grins, I've messed with him,

That's kinda mean, isn't it? But it's funny, and I would probably mess with him a little bit, too.

However, I don't really understand why some people interpret "no problem" to be a brush off, as if that response indicates the person is not appreciating your thanks. I believe both phrases are just a shorter way of saying that the person was happy to oblige.

I totally agree with this.

I catch myself saying "no problem", but I am trying to change that. As long as I am acknowledged for saying thank you, its okay.

I've always modeled saying thank you and I'm so pleased that my children say it, too.

What really bugs me is when you buy something, the salesperson doesn't say thank you. In fact, he/she says nothing.

Whenever someone lets me in while driving, I always wave as a courtesy. I've noticed VERY few people do it.

Another one...when the person in front of you opens the door, they let it slam in your face.

However, I have to say that I notice more polite people than not. Thank goodness!

I have seen some people mildly offended with "no problem" as minimalizing the appreciation. That's why I sort of judge how the person feels. However, to me, "you're welcome" in more inappropriate for a "required" type action, such as an insincere thank you for spending your money here. Occasionally, and especially with the small businesses, they are sincere that they appreciate your business and I feel a you're welcome is in order.

And yes, the I din ax you dat just gets on my nerves. Right along with "nuk-ya-lur" weapons or the like from the college educated idiots. Another is temp-a-chur for temperature.

A friend's pet peeve is when Daylight Saving Time is stated Daylight Savings Time.

Oh, there's so many.

"my baby's momma" and "my baby's daddy"

"my baby's momma" and "my baby's daddy"
oh my gosh...I had to stop and think on that one, but yes, I have heard that before...sigh.

Sue

Do men still wear hats other than ball caps? I'm one who always takes his hat off (when I wear one which isn't often) whenever I'm in a public place.

My mom made sure we all had good manners.

OK, no problem.

I don't care for "no problem" as a response when someone says "Thank You". In my opinion, "no problem" implies that if it WAS a problem, the person wouldn't have done it. I know that's a stretch, but that's what it conveys to me. Regarding "You're welcome", I believe that that stems from "You're welcome to ... ", such as you are welcome to my generosity, you are welcome to whatever effort I made for you, you are welcome to my gesture.

"No problem" feels like it was so minimal and took so little thought that it is actually dismissing it. Now, I will admit, that there are times when I use "It's not a problem!" or "It's no problem", such as if I offer to give someone a ride home and they say it's too far, or if I offer to do something for someone and they react as though it's an imposition. However, after it's done and they say "Thank you", I say "You're very welcome" or "You're welcome".

Suzieque

Oh - I meant to include a few of my verbal pet peeves.

Ekspecially for especially.
Me and so-and-so, instead of so-and-so and I.
As others said, the misuse of "myself", people that start sentences with "I mean" (???), people that start sentences with "So" as in "So I went to the store the other day".
"Her and I" instead of "She and I".

There are lots, and I'm sure that I say things that are on others' list of peeves.

Suzieque

A guy I used to work with always use the phrase I and dis otter guy... which I suppose is probably correct, grammatically, but it always made me chuckle. It beats Me and dis otter guy...

Come to think of it, when I was a kid, one of the neighbor kids would always say "oller" instead of "other", for some reason I've never understood. He didn't have a speech impediment, nor did the family have an accent or anything. So I never quite understood it. But then again, when he'd count, it was one, two, tree, eight, nine, ten

I use "You're welcome" if I really mean it. If I'm not crazy about the person or the situation, I'll use "no problem".

One thing that's driving me crazy, is getting phone calls where someone wants to "reach out and touch base". That's getting so, so old for me.

I am sick of "have a good day/afternoon" or whatever. On the day of my mother's memorial service (1993), I went shopping, mainly to get away from a very annoying male relative who was staying with us for the few days. I found what I wanted and waited in line, hearing the salesperson say "have a good day" to each customer. Thought that if she said that to me I might just blow (which is totally out of character for me), but I must have been sending vibes, as she didn't and just said thank you.

The subsequent and seemingly current "have a good one" really grits my teeth!!

Well, I guess I say, "You're welcome" in the right places and "Thank you" in the right places...I also use "No problem" The other day I was behind a lady who was fumbling to put her money in her coin purse and I was standing there waiting. She apologized for keeping me waiting and I said, "No problem"...which I think at that point, it was fine. I "didn't" have a problem...I was in no hurry and didn't want to fluster her....most of the time I'm "not" in a hurry...no problem :o)

Maybe, what you describe seems a perfectly appropriate context to say "no problem." It wasn't a reply to "thank you."

I brought this back up because I was watching a 2002 episode of EastEnders today (a British soap opera set in London), and heard, "Thanks.-- No problem," in the dialogue.

Could this usage have recently come to the US from England?

Maybe = Maybee (oops!)

Another phrase used similarly to "no problem" is "don't mention it." My mother and her generation often said it, but it was never frowned upon in the way that "no problem" seems to be today.

I dislike phrases that come into overuse, also. What REALLY frosts my cookies is mispronunciation of common words by folks who really should know better. "Joolery" in a radio or TV ad for a jewelry store. "Febuary" in a radio or TV newscast. "Nookular." Place names pronounced wrong when all the person had to do was ask. Granted, some place names have pretty squirrelly spelling, but ask a local for Pete's sake!

As to thank you and you're welcome and no problem, none of it bothers me...much.

Some time ago I asked an acquaintance to help me with a computer problem. He solved it most expeditiously, and the responce when I thanked him? "It was my pleasure." What a gracious and somewhat old-fashioned phrase to come out of a very young man's mouth!

Oh and they just keep coming... I could care less... so they COULD care less? Think about it people! I COULDN'T care less if you could... Hearing everyone mispronounce numbers. One hundred AND fifty thousand which is saying 100+50,000 (which btw = 50,100).

I had a boss one time who was from Tulsa who kept saying ...come high hell or water! He had a lot of quirks. Never could break him of those bad habits!