I need your help

15 years ago

I seem to think I can handle just about anything life throws my way, but I'm having a really hard time right now. My brother was recently diagnosed with cancer. Can there possibly be a more frightening word than cancer? He has what is called malt lymphoma which started as a tumor in a lymph node in his stomach but now has spread into his small intestine. It is Stage 3. He will have 6 rounds of chemo, 3 session weeks apart. After the first 3, they'll do another scan. I don't know if it's normal, but his chemo session lasted almost the whole day.

My brother is the only brother with six sisters. He's always been an easy-going, hard working man. He's worked in the factory of a large air conditioning company for years. He has blond hair and the bluest eyes and loves his family, including his pesky big sisters. He plays in a band sometimes and sells real estate on the side. He's really cool and I love him a lot!

I've been through a lot of health issues with Harry the last few years and we made it through the death of HarryÃ¯Â¿Â½s son, but I need help with this. Could you please keep him in your very best thoughts or prayers?

My brother's name is John...and.today is his 55th birthday.

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Comments (47)

sylviatexas1
15 years ago
sending my best thoughts & energy for strength & stamina & healing.
glenda_al
15 years ago
Thinking about John and sending him 55th birthday best wishes.
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maryanntx
15 years ago
I'll keep John in my thoughts and prayers. Remember cancer is not a death sentence anymore. The treatments are so much better and quite effective.
bunnylover21
15 years ago
Praying for John and all those who love and care about him.
susie53_gw
15 years ago
Patti, I know where you are in this. I lost my sister 6 years ago this month to cancer. I miss her so much. The one thing I can say to you and your family is never give up. They do such wonderful things now.. I will pray for your family in the coming days and months.. (((hugs)))
donna37
15 years ago
Special thoughts and prayers for your brother.
Pieonear
15 years ago
Patti, I'm sure sorry to hear this. I can tell that you adore your brother and this must be awfully hard for you and the rest of the family. Hoping the chemo is successful and he'll be better soon. He sounds like an awsome brother. Happy Birthday, John!
kacram
15 years ago
You got it, Patti. (((((((Patti's brother))))))

"I don't know if it's normal, but his chemo
session lasted almost the whole day. "

yes it is! As he continues his treatments, they will moniter how well he is handling the infusions and
probably speed up the drip. It will get a little faster
maybe.
des_arc_ya_ya
15 years ago
Oh, Patti, he sounds like a wonderful brother! I only have one and we are very close. Prayers and good wishes going out to you, him and to your family. Today is my son's 42nd birthday and my DSIL's 40th. Sept. 26 must be a popular birthday.
JennaVaNowSC
15 years ago
Patti, I always wanted a brother! Yours sounds wonderful. Putting your brother, you and all your family in my prayers.take care.
sheesh
15 years ago
I'm sorry your brother is sick. He is lucky to have a loving sister - six of them! He'll get through this.
socks
15 years ago
Patti, I can tell how your heart is aching for your dear brother and how much you love him. You have my heartfelt prayers and sincere wishes for a good outcome. Let us know if you think he would appreciate a card shower or post cards from far and wide.
patti43
Original Author
15 years ago
Thank you all for being so sweet and kind. Maryann and Kat, I think of you a lot and it gives me hope that everything will be okay.

I made a big boo-boo on his age. He's 10 years younger than me which makes him 57 today. Gosh, he's getting old :-) Of course, that means I'm older than I thought, too. :-(
Georgysmom
15 years ago
Happy Birthday to John.....prayers and best wishes to John, Patti and all the family.
kayjones
15 years ago
Patti, I am sorry that you are facing this with your brother, but he needs you to remain strong - my prayers go up for John and your whole family!
roseluver
15 years ago
What Cancer Cannot Do ~ Cancer is limited -Cancer cannot cripple love- Cancer cannot shatter hope - Cancer cannot erode faith - Cancer cannot destroy peace - Cancer cannot kill friendship - Cancer cannot destroy memories - Cancer cannot silence courage - Cancer cannot invade the soul- Cancer cannot steal eternal life - Cancer cannot conquer the spirit - Cancer is limited.....

From one who is a 16 year cancer survivor. Sending prayers for your brother.
Mystical Manns
15 years ago
Treatment has come so far, there are now many of us who are Cancer Survivors. I will pray that your dear brother joins us! He sounds like a wonderful wonderful man.
sjerin
15 years ago
I don't have any wise words, but you will get your head around this and cheer your brother on--there are new treatments and always loads of hope and prayers. If you continue to struggle with the fear, perhaps you can try a cancer support group.

I'm another one who grew up with only sisters. We all badly wanted a brother, big or little! Happy birthday to your brother, Patti.
phyllis__mn
15 years ago
Sending caring thoughts that your brother beats this, and caring thoughts to all the family.
lydia1959
15 years ago
Happy birthday to John. I hope he beats the cancer and has many more birthdays! Will keep him in my thoughts and prayers.
maire_cate
15 years ago
Patti I will keep you and your brother in my thoughts. Sending hugs to you and prayers for an uneventful recovery.
mawheel
15 years ago
Your brother and you and your entire family are in my prayers.
lindyluwho
15 years ago
A big happy birthday to John. I hope with his treatment he will have many, many more.

Linda
nodakgal
15 years ago
Prayers for you all. Especially John.
sue_va
15 years ago
Patti, I had four older brothers, and 4 older sisters, and now I am the only one left. I know how your heart is breaking. You, John and the family are on my prayer list.

The only thing I can tell you is to cry when you need to. Tears are therapeutic.

Sue
ruthieg__tx
15 years ago
Patti just remember that Cancer isn't the death sentence it used to be.....It scares you to death but to me the fear was the worst part....once I got past that, I took each and every day, one step at a time.......

Many wonderful things are being done. I also had stage 3 cancer . 3B to be exact and I am doing really good following treatment. We live under a veil of fear that it will come back but with cancer you learn to live the fullest life every day that you possibly can.....

People survive stage 3 all the time so have faith ....I am sending special good thoughts for your brother.
lindaohnowga
15 years ago
My prayer for John has been said for him to be cancer free following the treatments and able to join all of us who are cancer survivors. A fighting attitude and continued good sense of humor are really important.
brightonborn
15 years ago
You've got it !!
mariend
15 years ago
There are so many new treatments. DH has cancer under remission and he gets the Petscan every 3 month, along with diabetes and heart value leaking. We go day by day with new meds and different treatments. John Hopkins, is very good, along with Cancer Centers of America, like several people have mentioned, humor and a positive attitude is very good. Don't be afraid to ask every question you can think of, and I wish your family the best.
carolswfl_2007
15 years ago
Patti, You, your brother and entire family are in my healing thoughts and prayers.
nanatricia
15 years ago
Prayers for you and your family.
susanjf_gw
15 years ago
the time in that chair for chemo can seem never-ending...in my case, you'd get there, they'd draw blood to check to see if you were "well" enough to recieve the chemo...then the actual stuff...i was lucky our center had recliners, a nice view of a pond, (with geese) and a tv...i tolorated it well enough i drove to and from appts alone...

yes i lost my hair, but it's back! i had to follow up with 33 radiation (breast cancer) that was like having a job! getting up dressed and out, but those treatments were a matter of minutes...

we rarely use the "c" word in our home..i am first a woman, mother and grandmother ..don't let your db be defined by it...
patti43
Original Author
15 years ago
Thanks you all so much. I didn't realize we had so many survivors here. That's encouraging. I guess today just kind of got to me because it's his birthday and they are so far away. (((to all of you)))
jel48
15 years ago
Saying prayers for your brother John, and for you and your sisters. I lost a sister to lung cancer a year ago. It was a tough battle. The most important thing I learned was, just be there for anyone you love who is fighting this battle. I almost put off visiting Phyllis that last time, because it was a 13 hour drive and I was going to be more then halfway there in a couple of weeks anyway, so thought I'd visit then. Then one day, I just knew I had to go see her. I did, and I spent most of a day with her, talking and just being there. A couple of days after I got home, I received the call that she was gone. When I was there, she had told me that she was ready and it was ok. I am so glad I was there to spend that day with her.

I don't say that to prepare you for your brother's death. As many others have pointed out, he has an excellent chance of pulling through this. Lots of folks here at KT have done just that! It's just that I think being there, whether in person, on the phone, or in whatever way, is so important in either case. When your brother beats this thing, you'll never regret having shared the time with him.

(((((((patti)))))))))
jannie
15 years ago
Arosegirl, your message is beautiful and powerful. My closest in age cousin Ned was recently diagnosed with prostsate cancer. I will hand-write that in a letter to him. and I will add one thing "There is no such thing as false hope."
joyfulguy
15 years ago
Hi Patti,

It is so hard to get such wake-up calls regarding our own fragility ... with regard to ourselves, but even more so for people that we love, I think ...perhaps partly because, for the people that we love, we feel so much that want to help ... but feel so powerless.

I hope that your brother is open about the various aspects of it, for it is so important that a number of people who love one another can face it together ... and likely some things that the person dealing with it directly doesn't think to ask may occur to others. I think that it might be helpful to have others that you know and love who've been through it/are going through it may be recruited as providers of information and support - which goes both ways.

I'm sending good thoughts and hopes plus prayers for John and all of you.

I've often said that some humour helps to relieve a great deal of stress, and that's true in dire situations like this, as well.

One of my first thoughts, resulting from your message regarding all of the stuff that John has done, was that it doesn't look as though he's confined himself to a speed limit of 55 in lifestyle ... and then you come back and tell us - that he's really older than he looks.

May you all have peace in your hearts as you make this journey.

Good wishes to all of you - as several have said - "a day at a time".

ole joyful
deemarie5500
15 years ago
So sorry that you family is going through this difficult time. Praying for all of you.
Dee
liz
15 years ago
This just tore out my heart Patti...He and I are the same age and I'm giving him the most prayers and good thoughts I can muster...Please keep us posted on his recovery...and take care of you!!
sandiefl
15 years ago
Patti, I can feel your fear. I am looking at this from both sides. I am a two time cancer survivor.I am still recovering from treatment but now I am on the other side.My younger sister and brother are diabetics and have lung disease.They are both on oxygen.We just found out that my husband may have lung cancer. Each day is blessing and a concern. I am keeping John and all of his family in my thoughts and prayers. At this stage of life, I give thanks for each day, and take it one day at a time.
tammyms
15 years ago
Happy Birthday, John! Hope it's a good one!

Lots of good thoughts and prayers being sent to you, your family and your big sister, Patti.

Tammy
neesie
15 years ago
Patty, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. He sounds a lot like my only brother, age 52. I'm so glad you are getting support from your on-line friends. Count me in too.
Jasdip
15 years ago
Patti, I'm sorry to hear this.
All the women (mom, aunts and grandmother) in my family had cancer; my Mom beat it.

It's shocking, and at first seems a death sentence. But that's not always the case, as you've seen here.

Regardless it's a stunning, cruel thing to hear, and when it's someone particularly close to you....well, it's hard.

Lots of (((((John and Patti)))))
kathi_mdgd
15 years ago
Patti,my heart goes out to you and John as you go thru this,and you will both realize you are stronger than you think you are.

Just try to remember "he has cancer,cancer doesn't have him".They have come a long way with treatments these days and when one doesn't work,they try another until they find one that does.

We have a lot of cancer survivors on this board and i'm one of them.I have to tell you when they first told me i had it ,i cried for 4 hours straight,wouldn't answer the phone so DH had to tell my sisters,and the dr to get me a anxiety med.Once i was done crying i just washed my face and told myself i have to fight this,and fight it i did.

It was 2 years in august that i had my surgery,and finished chemo in feb.this year.

Other than the initial diagnosis the worst part was losing my hair,now i tell ya losing that was way worse than losing the boobs.

So you and John hang in there,there will be a lot of folks lifting you up in prayer,me included.He can do this!!!
((((((((((Patti & John)
Kathi
Kathsgrdn
15 years ago
I'm sorry about your brother, will say a prayer for him.
lilliepad
15 years ago
Patti-Your brother will be in my prayers.I will also pray that God will give you peace during this time.
We just went through a similar diagnosis with my son who is only 33 and he came through with flying colors.So far is cancer free.
((((((Patti))))))
moonie_57 (8 NC)
15 years ago
Sending some positive energy and prayers yours and Johns way, Patti.
trisha57_ny
15 years ago
Dear Patti, John and Family, "God, please help this beautiful, vibrant man. His sisters need him more than you do at this time". Amen.

I need your help

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