Yahoo's new CEO is pregnant with her first baby

11 years ago

I'm not passing judgment on this woman, but I read this with something akin to shock. Her situation is so vastly different from what mine was when I was having babies. I know many women today go back to work after their maternity leaves. That's hard enough for me to grasp, having given birth in a time when my friends and I practiced attachment parenting (although there wasn't a name for it then). But Marissa Mayer says she's going to work through her maternity leave.

She's 37 years old, and this is her first pregnancy. She's Yahoo's third CEO in a year. The company, which has been having its problems, is counting on her to turn things around. So much pressure on her. If she's going to pull this off, she can't afford to be distracted. But she not only has the baby to think about (and be aware of 24 hours a day from now on), but she'll have all the hormonal stuff to deal with.

I can't help thinking she has no idea what she's in for.

NBC article on Marissa Mayer

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Comments (21)

iowagirl2006
11 years ago
I think if she has the right family support - it is totally doable.

Things are very different today in the family makeup. I think she can still attach with her baby and work as long as she has strong support from her husband and other family and friends.

Hopefully the baby will be a strong healthy baby though. At her age - that could not be the case though.

I wish her the best - she will be under a microscope!
alisande
Original Author
11 years ago
I misspoke above . . . I just read that she's the fifth Yahoo CEO in a year. Yikes!

She sure will be under a microscope.
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I think some people were too hasty in calling you a spoiled brat and the like. I base my opinion on a few clues, rather than just the overall scenario. That your husband lashed out the way he did is entirely unreasonable. Why does he want you to stay in a place where you are mistreated by the people who consider themselves entitled to be there? Okay, so it was stressful, you were mistreated, and you were actually trying to raise your family in a place that was not your own home and was not a home to you. So, you went back home and made no complaint of him spending time with his mother, but he lashed out because he couldn't have things his way. I would have returned home long before you did. No way am I going to tolerate being mistreated by anyone, not for a minute. That one is a deal breaker all by itself. But, he became resentful. Am I understanding this right??? He became resentful that you returned home, he took your children, treated you like sh&1, and said awful things to you. Well now. Then reading further, I figure I am right on the money after you tell us he wants to uproot his family to go babysit his 50-something year old sister. Well now. Your husband is the selfish spoiled child, my dear. Not you! It is wonderful he cares so much for his mother, and it's truly nice he is considerate of his sister, but this is going way too far. If that is not bad enough, he wants to add inconvenience to your daily life. AND, if those are not bad, he wants to add continual mental torture by expecting you to permanently make your home *WITH* people who treat you badly. Boy, I wonder how he will treat you and what names he will call you when you resist that one. Will he bring down the whole house to force you to move and make sure he gets his way? But you were called the spoiled brat. Well now. Perhaps he was a good husband before all this began, but he isn't anymore. Maybe there simply weren't any trying times to test his character until now. He places his own wishes and everyone's needs before yours - even if, as in his sister's case, there is no need at all. Where is the "good husband" in that? I can surely understand him wanting to spend a lot of time with his mother before she passes away, but how does it even occur to him to uproot his family after that happens? Against your wishes, he wants to do this. Despite you being treated unkindly there, he wants to do this. How does it NOT occur to him to ask his sister to be the one to move if he is so concerned about her? I do wonder why you feel you need so much help before the birth of your baby. You are not the first woman to have a c-section. What is the help you need before the birth? I never heard of that. Nevertheless, I expect you are suffering from raging hormones. The hormones and the nervous anticipation of your baby's impending birth have you wondering if you can count on him since he spends so much time at his mother's house. I can understand that, even if you are asking too much at this point. I also expect him to understand and to be there for you. Please do not let anyone talk you out of being hurt by his treatment and his words. If you forgive him, that is up to you and wonderful if you want it to be. But, you are not wrong by any stretch. He is.
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Yes believer, it was directed at you. I find it both amusing, and pathetic, that someone who has been here less than a week has already resorted to the kind of name calling that junior high children commonly do. I think TOS has a huge chip on her shoulder. I think she sees with blinders on, and I think she thinks that every step mother in the world is evil incarnate. She assumes that every Stepmom in the world got her husband by cheating with him, and she looks for little things to prove that to herself. I think she is hurting herself by her inability to get past things. She is a deeply wounded person. But she isnt a troll. Yes, you are free to post whatever you wish, although someone, somewhere down the road is probably going to b*tch and moan that the post is off track ( which only seems to happen when its someone you dont agree with) For what its worth, there are a lot of posters here with chips on their shoulder, of a different kind of wood. Many of us have our present situations influenced by our attitudes about things that have happened in the past. Its hard sometimes not to say anything, I know. My own past has been EXTREMELY negatively impacted by psuedo religion, so of course I am going to pick out the inconsistency in your faith,when you denigrate someone you dont even know. LIve with it, or ignore me, Your opinion of me doesnt matter in the least to me. Since you made a point of mentioning how you follow God in a previous post,I am merely pointing out that your attitude in name calling is very out of line with your supposed faith. IF that stings, thats your problem. If it doesnt, then why bother reacting. Perhaps you should take your own advice. I notice you posted this on another topic "We could do much more good if we changed our attitudes from bitter, negative and hateful to that of a person who has lessons to pass on from experience. All of us have had a great deal to handle throughout our lives it seems." Had that been there when I posted my response on this topic to you, I wouldnt have commented as I did. It seems you DO understand the need to keep the name calling down to a minimum, and the understanding to a maximum. Maybe its just that you think it shouldnt apply to you? I do thank you for confirming what I believe about religious people :) After living in the bible belt for the last few years, I have learned a lot about what faith is...and obviously isnt.
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Hey LouiseDawn, I can at least offer a silver lining of hope that I see in your situation. If SS is in college and SD is in grad school, there is at least some hope that they will be successful and eventually make enough money to finance their own lives. I also believe your situation will get better with time. I look back and I don't know how in the world I got through the last six years with my husband's family, but I did which is the important part. Having no prior experience at all in a step situation as step mother or step child, I was CLUELESS and felt guilt for the feelings of resentment I had and still sometimes have towards them and their father. I at least feel better to know that I am not this evil person for having these feelings anymore. That's a start. It seems that the biggest hurdles towards happiness in these situations most of the time are SDs for SMs. SSs seem to have a different relationship with their fathers that doesn't trigger that "drop everything and go be a hero" button in their fathers like SDs. I finally won the trust of my SD (I think) and she doesn't try to push my buttons anymore to create conflict. She had a bad experience before me with SM #1 so I have tried to take all that into consideration to cut her some slack and focus on the long term goal of all of us getting along. These days SD's biggest offense is using the guilt her father feels to manipulate him into openning the checkbook for her whims. All children manipulate, but steps have an easier time because they can use the guilt of their broken home life to loosen the purse strings. This has been the core of my own turmoil but has nothing to do with the purse at all. 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iowagirl2006
11 years ago
She will be the third CEO this year (although one was a interim CEO) - they have average 5 CEO's in 5 years - lordy! LOL!
Adella Bedella
11 years ago
It wouldn't be my choice as a new parent. It won't be the first baby raised by others either. Maybe dad or grandma will be there to help out with the new baby. I hope it works out in a healthy way for the family.
wildchild
11 years ago
I agree Alisande. I do laud her for achievements but this is could be bad timing.

I was a stay at home mom and was so happy I was able to do so. I can't imagine leaving my babies in care of others.

DD on the other hand was very much into working. She actually worked at Google for some time also. Her contract with them expired about the time she became pregnant. Now that her little one is here she can't imagine working away from home either. I guess it's just the way some of us are programed.

Little Mia is up every 2 hours or less to nurse. DD and her DH sort of fell into attachment parenting by pure instinct. They just a few days ago started to put her in her crib for a time when she is asleep. I think she spent maybe 8 hours total in her bassinet the first 4 or 5 weeks, if that. She's entering her 7th week now.

Before baby they worried about things like buying a home,having good jobs etc. Now all that has changed. He went back to work after staying home almost a month and is so grateful for the time he had with his little girl. DD couldn't care less about material things. Family is first for her.

We were laughing about her in-laws/acquaintances who don't really get it. One told her to pump her milk so she could have a night out already. DD says her first evening out won't be for at least a year and maybe longer. LOL No bottles, no sippy cups,no face plugs. They did go to the drive-in recently on a warm night with baby.

It's true many children who are raised by nannies do well but a little part of my heart still breaks for them.
Lily316
11 years ago
I'm all for women having good careers but having this baby is the most important job this woman will ever have. When she's very old, will she remember her big shot executive job or cuddling and nursing her baby on a lazy winter day. . I was lucky to be a stay at home mother. There would be no way in hell I would have handed over my tiny baby to a stranger. I loved being a mother. My daughter took six months off and then went back a few days a week till at a year she was full time again. So different strokes..
Chi
11 years ago
Good for her. I think it's interesting that this makes headlines yet if it were a man with a pregnant wife, no one would say a word or probably even know about it. I understand that there is a difference between men and women with pregnancy/birth roles and that the mothers are traditionally the primary caregivers but I am convinced there's still a portion of unfairness about the media attention heaped on her because of her pregnancy.

Also, things are different these days. I'm in my late 20's and I don't have kids yet, but I worked hard to educate myself and to grow my career and I can't imagine giving it up completely to stay home with kids. I like being able to support myself and my goals without relying on a husband. I have seen MANY of my friends and peers stay home with their kids only to later divorce and now they are left with a kid and no career and they are forced to single parent while working full time on a small income and it's not easy. It's hard enough to get a job these days but with a huge gap in working history from raising a baby, it's even harder. No one marries planning on divorcing but it happens, a lot. I think it's important for women to be able to support themselves at all times.

That's not really relevant to her situation as she has plenty of money but I don't see anything wrong with women working while they have babies. Nor do I see anything wrong with women staying home with their babies. Different strokes. But I know she's going to be slammed by both sides and she won't be able to win no matter what she does. If she focuses on the baby, the business world will laugh at her and Yahoo will become even more of a joke, and if she keeps working, some of the mothering world will call her a bad mom for not spending all of her time with her baby.
alisande
Original Author
11 years ago
My point wasn't whether or not she should stay home with the baby; it was summed up in my last sentence: She has no idea what she's in for.

Being pregnant is not like being not pregnant except with a big stomach. I loved my pregnancies, but depending on which trimester I was in, I could be sleepy, hot, emotional, uncomfortable, and always focused on the new life within me. After giving birth, hormones can go wild. Postpartum depression is not unusual. Neither are fears. Many mothers report nightmares about misplacing their babies, etc. Changes in the body, changes in the mind. So much more than what I'm saying here.

To call all these things "distractions," as I did in my first post, is an understatement.
3katz4me
11 years ago
It's quite possible the baby's father could become a SAHD raising the baby vs "others" or nannies. In spite of lots of progress we still seem to have stereotypical views of men's and women's roles.
wildchild
11 years ago
Oh pulleez. She and her DH are workaholic celebrities. Her net worth is said to be 300 million. They live the life of the rich and famous. He is a lawyer/investment broker/whatever. Google them. No pun intended.

The child will be raised by his nanny.
amyfiddler
11 years ago
I'm a therapist. I believe it is crucial to bond with baby as a mother, for the baby's sake, for those first weeks.

People make their choices. I'll never have to regret mine. I did it all - stayed home, am now working during school hours, and when kids leave I'll have a full career. I wish everyone were so fortunate.
Jamie_LA
11 years ago
I thought I heard on the news that she was taking the first 3 weeks off and at home, then for the rest of her leave, she'd work from home???
ruthieg__tx
11 years ago
Today's young women do so much more than the women that I grew up with. My own granddaughter was a senior in college making honor grades, was looking for her first job following college and had a baby in April, Graduated in May, went to work in July and did I mention she was washing dishes in a nursing home all through college.....

I think it falls back on the old saying, people do whatever they want to do......
amyfiddler
11 years ago
I sure hope that this isn't the beginning of maternity leave being a thing of the past.
petra_gw
11 years ago
She sounds very goal-driven. Perhaps one of her goals was to produce a child before a certain age and that is what she is doing, and why she is doing it.
alisande
Original Author
11 years ago
NBC.com just published this Open Letter to Marissa Mayer from a mother. She says--and I quote--Trust me when I say, you won't know what hit you. My point exactly. :-)

And Amyfiddler, she mentions the impact Marissa's actions might have on others' maternity leaves.

I didn't relate to everything in the letter, however. I had long labors, but didn't have a problem going up or down stairs afterward. And what are those "giant mesh underpants" she talks about?
linda_in_iowa
11 years ago
Having her first baby at 37, she is considered "high risk". She just does not know what the next few months will bring. She could have a "preemie" and spend weeks or month in the NICU with that baby. She could go into premature labor and be ordered on bed rest for a couple of months. There are so many things that would be beyond her control.
If all goes well, she will take a couple of weeks off and return to work while a nanny raises the child. I can't imagine she plans to breast feed and be pumping milk at work.
chisue
11 years ago
It may bode well for the child if Mom goes back to work.

I've posted before about a friend's DD and DSIL who are both highly intelligent, high-power managers with a late-in-life baby -- and unlikely to have another after this difficult pregnancy and birth.

This mom fell so in love with her baby that she quit her job. Now she and the dad are 'managing' the child! They have read every book on child psychology, nutrition, blah, blah, blah. Every moment is programmed. The kid is the whole focus of their lives, poor thing: Led, prompted, measured, *drilled* -- a parroting robot at age two.

I keep hoping the mom *will* go back to work!
jannie
11 years ago
I got pregnant with my first at age 35. My employer had a policy of 8 weeks unpaid leave after the birth of a child. I was able to stretch it to 3 months, but it wasn't long enough. I worked hard and gave my all to my job, then I came home to a baby I was still nursing and a house to keep clean and orderly. Every minute I was busy. I remember doing laundry and packing her bag for the babysitter well after midnight. On top of that, I got pregnant with my second when my first was just 5 months. That ended my breast feeding. Later on my office adopted the Federal Family Medical Leave Act, which covered pregnancy, childcare, caregiving for older relatives, even time off for new fathers and for adoptions.
wildchild
11 years ago
A viewpoint to reflect upon Chisue. So true in power couple unions. A loving nanny might be the better choice.

It is possible she will just take the baby to work with her. Her net worth allows her to forgo all the little day to day issues regular everyday working women have. She doesn't have to cook,clean,run errands,drive the kid to school when he gets older etc. If she breastfeeds I'm guessing it will be by pump and bottle shortly. Nannies,personal assistants...different vibe.

I know people who are similar who don't have her wealth but still don't put bonding with child ahead of career. A lady in my group moved out here to take care of her grandchild 4 years ago. Mom and dad both work although they could easily survive on dad's income. The 2nd child came along last year.
Granny/nanny fell and broke her foot and was in a cast. We asked if she was still able to help out. She said yes that they brought the baby's stuff and put it near her along with the bassinet. But with her being in a cast they were thinking of hiring additional help to help her. I asked if that was because the mother had to go back to work. No she still had 4 months of maternity leave left. So why did they need her AND a nanny? Was it a difficult birth? No it was easy and fast. Is the older child developmentally delayed? No. This is a quote. I kid you not.

"Well. You can't expect her (the daughter) to take care of a baby AND a 3 year old."

Several jaws in the room almost hit the floor.
chisue
11 years ago
There are definitely Jet Set families where the child or children seem to have been acquired. After you've got the BMW, big house, dog...then you need kids -- who 'require' lots of expensive gear and a huge SUV. Move on to boat, second home, trips to exotic places (with Nanny) -- because, "We can do it all!"

Exhausts me, just thinking about it. The ones I know are still under 45, but Middle Age lurks just down the road -- where delayed parenthood results in a cocktail of Teenagers + Menopausal Mothers + Mid-Life-Crisis Dads. Yikes!

Yahoo's new CEO is pregnant with her first baby

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